Corrupt a Wish II

[MrMonsterGuy18]

Granted. The rating for the thread is no “Pregnant Grandmas” and not “Regular”

I wish for an untouched toothpick straight out of a container to be on top of my hand and not piercing me anywhere in my body.

[Crisis21]

Here you are, the fabled toothpick of doom straight from the container of armageddon. I shall balance it atop your hand perfectly on its point. If it falls over, even if you catch it, then it shall sound the gong for the end of the world. Try not to move.


I wish to cut the tension with a knife.

[farothel]

No problem. Here is a special knife that cuts through steel without any problem and here is the tension cable keeping the Golden Gate bridge standing. Have fun with it.


I wish I could fly.

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! You are now able to fly! You sadly don't have the ability to land, or even lower your altitude. The only way to go is up!

I wish to see the world burn. I'm fine with being on the planet as it goes up in flames.

[Extrail]

You see the world burn around you. However it doesn't actually happen you are just in a constant nightmare die to a lifelong coma.

I wish for a goldfish in a aquarium for it.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! Your goldfish now has the entirety of the massive London aquarium to itself. Its previous occupants have naturally been evicted to the alleys and gutters outside, save for an eel known as, 'Chomper,' who has successfully found new residence in your home plumbing.

I wish for a new coffee table.

[redjinx]

I wish for a new coffee table.

Granted! The steaming hot coffee quickly loses the shape of a table and begins to soak into the carpet.

[Crisis21]

You wish for nothing? Here's a Sphere of Annihilation. Catch.


I wish life was more like a harem comedy.


@V: You can respond to me like this without making a new post.

[redjinx]

You wish for nothing? Here's a Sphere of Annihilation. Catch.


I wish life was more like a harem comedy.

Right. I wished for nothing... on purpose. It was a test! To see if you'd notice! (thank you, I'm an idiot)

[Luftwaffle]

Granted. Your entire harem also speaks exclusively Japanese.

I wish for another corrupt-a-wish thread!

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! Corrupt a Wish 2: Corrupt Harder, now exists. Unfortunately, as this thread is still active, no one will post on it.

I wish for an uncorruptable wish

[Bucky]

You got it and I went ahead and granted it, but it violates the forum rules so we can't talk about it here beyond hinting at how naturally unpleasant the consequences are.

I wish my pants didn't have holes in the knees.

[Crisis21]

Granted. Your pants instead have holes in a place that causes you to be arrested for public indecency.


I wish all babies were warded against evil creatures.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! Naturally, I had to summon a few hordes of evil creatures into your world to test the magic's efficacy, leaving about 40% of human adults dead, but I can safely say that their babies are thoroughly protected.

I wish for a pair of dragonfly wings!

[redjinx]

I don't know why you wanted these in the first place, but I guarantee you won't like them where I put them.

I wish for the most delicious hot beverage in the universe.

[Extrail]

Granted! liquid ambrosia it's 1 quadrillion degrees Fahrenheit, and will cool down to a drinkable state way after your long dead.

I wish for the succubus queen to make me her king.

[Crisis21]

Granted. You are now her 3,243,974,028th husband. Average length of one of her marriages is about how long the honeymoon lasts, after which she kills her husband to serve as the main dish for her next wedding feast. Hope you enjoy your marriage!



I wish I could eat some really good non-poisoned cake.

[jwhouk]

Granted.

Here's your carrot cake with dried prunes and cashews in it.

I wish I had a full-sized car that had an electric motor.

[Some Android]

I wish I had a full-sized car that had an electric motor.

Okay. The car is full-sized, but the electric motor can only power a vehicle the size of an normal raisin.

I wish a supernatural slash film villain was trying to kill me, but I ultimately defeat it.

[ChaoticHarmony]

Ninja'd
Granted! Chucky is brought to life and immediately begins to hunt you down. After a series of events and a climatic battle, you defeat him and stand over his lifeless body in triumph! Only to be killed and struck down by his bride, in revenge.

I wish I had the powers of Mr. Clean

[Some Android]

I wish I had the powers of Mr. Clean

Okay. You never specified the mascot Mr. Clean. So instead I give you the powers of one Mr. Alfred Thomas Clean who is in a coma. So you too are in a coma now. Enjoy.

I wish I could bring people out of comas.

[Crisis21]

Granted. However, to bring someone out of a coma, you have to put yourself into one. Choose wisely.


I wish I had a giant robot.

@V: *shrugs* Could have been worse. *Plays with his new robotic Voltron figure*

[bc56]

Size is relative. Enjoy your robot, which is gigantic to bacteria, but about the size of an action figure for you.

I wish for fish!

[Extrail]

You become a fish! Since your on dry land at the time it doesn't go to well for you.

I wish I could travel faster in time.

[farothel]

Every second you experience is like a year to the rest of humanity. As far as I can see you didn't wish for immortality, so you'll die in about one minute. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I wish I keep my job, but didn't have to do the work.

[Some Android]

I wish I keep my job, but didn't have to do the work.

You're now comatose, and your company cannot legally fire comatose employs. So you have the job, don't have to work, but will be comatose the rest of your life.

I wish I could bring people out of comas.

[The-lost-Byte]

I wish I could bring people out of comas.

Granted. However, to bring someone out of a coma, you have to put yourself into one. Choose wisely.

I wish people would stop using Coma (or death, for that matter) as a cheap escape to corrupt a wish. At least make it worth the time it is typed with and entertaining...

[Pyrotechnical]

I wish people would stop using Coma (or death, for that matter) as a cheap escape to corrupt a wish. At least make it worth the time it is typed with and entertaining...

Granted, but henceforth, everyone is profoundly overjoyed by a wish corruption that doesn't end in comas or death. Alas, nothing else brings people as much joy as that and the world becomes devoid of music and visual art as creative people abandon those pursuits in favor of focusing solely upon interesting wish corruptions.

I wish my car was more reliable.

[Mister Tom]

Now it _never_ starts.

I wish for tea to cook itself.

[Crisis21]

The tea gives itself a taste and decides it needs more body. Specifically yours.


I wish to stand victorious atop the battered and broken forces of evil.