Overkill Wish Granting

[Magic_Hat]

I wish the universe would stop hiding my stuff.

You know have knowledge of everything everywhere and become an Orwellian Big Brother figure viewing everything everyone does.

I wish to start a rebellion against Korith and his omniscience.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I'm in! So is everyone else! Including Korith! DOWN WITH THE ORACLE!

I wish for magic to stop being real.

[Korith]

Magic ceases to exist, which nullifies your wish, which causes magic to rush right back into the universe, granting your wish and eradicating magic from the entire multiverse retroactively for all time. The resultant vacuum of mystical power causes a new force to emerge -Walruses.

I walrus that wishes could come true.

[totadileplayz]

Magic ceases to exist, which nullifies your wish, which causes magic to rush right back into the universe, granting your wish and eradicating magic from the entire multiverse retroactively for all time. The resultant vacuum of mystical power causes a new force to emerge -Walruses.

I walrus that wishes could come true.

All wishes come true, in an overpowered manner. This also seems to make numerous other forms of wishlikes to emerge.

I wish only wishes could be granted.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! Now no one can ever give permission, bestow rights or materials, or admit that anything is true. How is this different from the corruption thread again?

I wish for shapeshifting powers!

[Korith]

The universe reshapes itself according to your whims.

I wish for walruses.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish for walruses.

Okay. I'll have to first send you Korith into space. You land on a planet where man is enslaved to walruses. Walruses everywhere. After a series of adventures you discover...

Spoiler

Show

...it was earth all along. Have some soylent green to cheer yourself up.

I wish Indivisible is a really good game.

[breck_sk]

Okay. I'll have to first send you Korith into space. You land on a planet where man is enslaved to walruses. Walruses everywhere. After a series of adventures you discover...

Spoiler

Show

...it was earth all along. Have some soylent green to cheer yourself up.

I wish Indivisible is a really good game.

Indivisible becomes the greatest game ever, to the point it is worshipped like a god. The power given to the game by its worshippers allow it to BECOME a god. Our physical forms are melted and our souls are transferred into the game, giving it the power of an entire planet. Indivisible takes over the multiverse.

[Korith]

[nothing]
Granted. nothing happens. Ever. Time stops, and the universe is held in stasis.

I wish I could get a good coffee around here.

[farothel]

You get this coffee, as much of it as you ever want.

I wish for world peace

[Magic_Hat]

I wish for world peace

Nobody every does anything violent or hateful every again and no one breaks anymore crimes.

I roll to have the best Halloween costume.

[Korith]

The sages tell of the time when Magic_Hat roamed among mortals, the time before the great costume that he donned. But enough of that. Ten Thousand years later we're still talking about how awesome Magic_Hat's costume was for Halloween 2019!

I wish for a nice pen.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish for a nice pen.

You pen is so powerful it can literally rewrite history and the laws of the universe - anything you write with it becomes infallible fact.

I wish to steal Korith's pen and the first thing I write with it is "Magic_Hat will always own this pen and have possession of said pen."

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Your spirit is bound to the pen and cursed to repeatedly write that exact missive until the end of time.

I wish for an exorcism!

[Korith]

There are no ghouls, ghosts or other supernatural creatures. It turns out they were in our imaginations all along.

I wish for a slice of pie.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish for a slice of pie.

You are now a level 99 pie-o-mancer who can cast the spell pie meteor and are in command of a legion of pie golems.

I wish I had a potato chip.

[CyberiadQueen]

You are the owner of every potato in the world that does or will exist, and they are all being processed into both American-style chips, and British-style chips (which makes me, a fry fan, very relieved).

I wish to visit a haunted house--not the attractions that crop up every Halloween, but the genuine article.

[Korith]

A small folded piece of paper appears before you.

Spoiler: Might as well open it...

Show

It says "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice"

Spoiler: Wait, did I say that out loud?...

Show

A creepy creature in a striped suit appears before you, and demands "What do you want?" Before you can answer, a flying tentacled eyeball floats up to his ear and whispers something before floating into a nearby fireplace and up the chimney.

"Ah! You're here for the tour!" the suited figure says, and he pulls a rug out from under you, revealing a twisted Burtonesque staircase that appears to descend through a void.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" The creature demands and he begins to descend the staircase.

Spoiler: Let's see what you got yourself into

Show

As you descend the staircase, all sorts of ghoulish creatures come out to see you. Many of them try to touch you with their various slimy tendrils, tentacles and terminals. Haunting sounds echo around you as the souls of the dead seem to converge on your location. In fact, it's as though the souls of the dead are drawn to you as moths to a flame...

I wish CyberiadQueen's wild ride would continue.

[Isocahedron]

Indeed it does, and it continues until the heat death of the Universe.

I wish for death to become optional for all sentient creatures.

[paddyfool]

Granted! Life and death are now optional states. Every sentient being that ever lived has the option to be alive, and many take it.

I wish for some breakfast.

[The Outsider]

Granted. You now have a team of personal chefs dedicated solely to making you any kind of breakfast you could ever want.

I wish for a pet snake.

[Velaryon]

Granted. You now have Jörmungandr, the serpent from Norse mythology so large that it encircles the entire world, as your pet. And he's staring patiently at you waiting for you to feed him.

I wish for all an extra 8 hours in my day that only I and people I designate experience, while the rest of the universe remains paused.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Why stop at 8? You and your friends now have eternity to yourselves in an otherwise motionless, crystalline universe. No need to worry about aging or food or whatever; you may perceive yourselves as moving around, but your bodies feel like no time is passing.

I wish to play some Smash Bros.

[Velaryon]

You find yourself teleported to the highest battlements of Peach's castle. As the cold winds whistle around you and you realize just how very high up off the ground you are, you see several people looking at you with serious intent: Link swings his sword through a few wide circles to loosen up. Kirby licks his chops, wondering what powers he might get from devouring you. Captain Falcons salutes and tells you to "show me ya moves!" All three begin advancing toward you...

I wish they still made Suikoden games.

[Korith]

Sony and Konami have announced a bold new project in which the entire surface of the world will be the basis for a new AR implementation of the next generation of Suikoden games. But this isn't just a reskin of Pokemon GO - no, in order to see this project through, Sony has issued remote drone strikes on 27 major centers of government power under the guise of a combat flight simulator beta, and have taken much of the world over by coup. Now you must form a guild of 108 people to oppose the new video game overlords and restore balance to the world as we know it.

I wish apples could be compared with oranges.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish apples could be compared with oranges.

Apples and oranges are now literally the same thing, and your wish also pulls in all other fruits making them all the same thing and comparable. There is now only one fruit called an aprangle.

I wish I own a profitable farm that grew aprangles.

[The Outsider]

Just one farm? Pathetic. You now own the company that produces and distributes the entire global supply of aprangles. What's more, since this makes you the only supplier of fruit in existence, it's the world's first quadrillion-dollar industry. You are now rich beyond your wildest dreams and have more power than some first-world nations.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

You are the sole employee at my many aprangle orchards, picking literally scores of millions of aprangles each day in orchards located all across the globe.

I wish we could continue talking about aprangles for the next several posts.

[Velaryon]

Granted! This entire thread sub-forum is now dedicated to the discussion of aprangles.

I wish I could try aprangle-flavored pop.

[paddyfool]

Try it? You are teleported to a desert island with a lifetime supply of aprangle juice. It's chock full of preservatives and you can drink as much as you like or don't like as it's your only safe water source.

I wish to try growing aprangles in space.