Overkill Wish Granting

[totadileplayz]

Your mental state is perfect. You will always know the right course to every problem, and it will always be in the form of what you want consciously and subconsciously.


I Wish I was a Giant in a Playground.

[Cicciograna]

Granted! You are transformed into a comic artist who produces a very funny and oftentimes also quite deep and insightful stick figure webcomic. You have an entire forum dedicated to your work and people love you.
As you are enjoying your new status, you hear some heavy footsteps behind you. You turn, and you realize you are facing an old grizzled Giant with a short white beard and a long ponytail. You can spot a nasty scar on his thumb. He regards you threateningly and, as he fires up his octarine lightsaber and assumes his Djem So stance, he finally utters "There can be only one!".

I wish for non sucky, satisfactory, critics-acclaimed and faithful movie renditions of the following videogames:
- DOOM 1 and 2
- The Secret of Monkey Island
- King of Chicago
- The Lemmings

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! This reality now has: 1. A series of sci-fi B-movies from the '60's and '70's, 2. Several animated Disney films about pirates and explorers, 3. Something called, "The Godfather?" and 4. Way too many animated shorts about hordes of goofy little guys that mostly get by on slapstick. Because of the way technology and culture work, I had to introduce all but number 4 before their games actually came out, and I had to change some surface elements for copyright reasons, but I think you'll find that they are still quite faithful adaptations of their respective premises.

I wish I knew what a Grand Inquisitor was.

[Book Wombat]

You now know everything.

I wish for a delicious cake.

[Starlit Dragon]

This cake was perfectly crafted to suit your tastebuds and brain chemistry

I wish for a Domain.

[Cicciograna]

Granted! Enjoy your www.starlitdragon.com domain.

I wish for a complete and total understanding of neutrino physics, including the full comprehension of the mathematics required to describe it, and the ability to successfully communicate it to other people.

[ziproot]

Granted! You now know all physics, and are so good at teaching it that everyone else also knows all physics.

I wish to be able to freeze time.

[totadileplayz]

Granted Your power over Freezing is not over just time, but it can now be universal, multiversal, to down to a single string. This doesn't just include time either, as all conceptual things that you could possibly freeze you can now do so.


I Wish I was Smarter then a fifth grader.

[Aleph Null]

The fifth grader is from an alien species that is a thousand times more intelligent than humans

I wish I was a dragon.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

AAAAA YOU'RE UNFATHOMABLY POWERFUL AND BIG ENOUGH TO EAT A PLANET AAAAA

I wish for my planet to not get eaten by Lizard Galactus.

[Cicciograna]

Granted! The planet is miraculously spared by the immense Lizard Galactus. All the other ones in the star system, however, are promptly guzzled down by the spacefaring glutton. The gravitational stability of the star system is thus completely compromised, and soon your planet starts drifting out of its orbit and into a new orbital path where life is, alas, unsustainable due to hostile enviromental conditions. The planet becomes soon barren and lifeless.

I wish for the motivation to finish my dissertation.

[Velaryon]

You finish it, present it to glowing reviews, and immediately receive a book deal. Once it's published, your dissertation becomes the best-selling book of all time. People love the book so much that you cannot walk down the street without being mobbed by people wielding copies and begging for your autograph. Every time you set foot in public, people badger you with questions about your dissertation. Within a year, it forms the basis of a new religion which supplants all others, becoming the most dominant religion in every single nation on Earth.

I wish I had the ability to persuade people online.

[totadileplayz]

You finish it, present it to glowing reviews, and immediately receive a book deal. Once it's published, your dissertation becomes the best-selling book of all time. People love the book so much that you cannot walk down the street without being mobbed by people wielding copies and begging for your autograph. Every time you set foot in public, people badger you with questions about your dissertation. Within a year, it forms the basis of a new religion which supplants all others, becoming the most dominant religion in every single nation on Earth.

I wish I had the ability to persuade people online.

Granted! A Single utterance online is treated as gospel, every single post you have ever made anywhere is seen as the absolute truth above the very physical world itself. You find that words you've posted years ago have had contradictory text with ones you post more recently causing splinters to form as people try to rationalize everyone of of your posts together, causing multiple interpretations to pop up.

I Wish I had a 5 cm wide and tall cube balloon.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! It's a perfect sharpened cube and can inflate to that or to any other size as you desire. Also it's nearly indestructible but here's 100 backups just in case.

I wish to run 5 miles per day.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish to run 5 miles per day.

You do it so well you win several Nobel Peace prizes and have a film made about your life.

I wish to be Dr.Gunsforhands's publicist.

[totadileplayz]

You do it so well you win several Nobel Peace prizes and have a film made about your life.

I wish to be Dr.Gunsforhands's publicist.

Granted, you are the publicist for every single successful book, comic, and manga throughout the world. When you publish something they know it's top quality, and Dr. Gunsforhand's your most famous piece is the best work you have published by far free of any controversy or backlash.

I wish for bread.

[Aleph Null]

Granted, you are the publicist for every single successful book, comic, and manga throughout the world. When you publish something they know it's top quality, and Dr. Gunsforhand's your most famous piece is the best work you have published by far free of any controversy or backlash.

I wish for bread.

Behold, the longest loaf of bread. At least until someone makes a longer one.

I wish I expected the Spanish Inquisition.

[paddyfool]

Your business gets a regular contract with the Spanish Inquisition, and you come to expect regular phone calls and meetings with them. No thumbscrews are involved, thankfully.

I wish I had minions.

[Cicciograna]

Granted! You are now Gru from Despicable Me.

I wish I was Mr. Incredible from The Incredibles.