Overkill Wish Granting

[CosmicHobbit]

Granted! You get (∞+∞(∞))^∞ wishes! Don't ask me how many that is, it would melt my brain.

I wish I became the best and most well-liked Villain in the MCU.

[ben-zayb]

Granted! You are the best villain, and all of your plots succeeded with 0% chance of failure in the first place. You are so well-liked that everyone else (including heroes) pledged their undying loyalty to you. You now have the entire everything else at the palm of your hands. Now what, master CosmicHobbit?


I wish binary number system included not just 1s and 0s, but also 2s.

[Crisis21]

Granted. Not only is the Trinary number system known as Binary, it is the only number system used or understood by any creature in the universe.


I wish I had a girlfriend.

[Extrail]

Granted you have all the girlfriends willing to placate you however you wish.

I wish for me to be the avatar of death.

[ben-zayb]

Granted! Oh, you're gonna love being the avatar of life, death, war, ponies, bananas, reason, professional wrestling, the solar system... all of it. You're now the avatar of everything, everywhere, everyone, and everytime. All at once. Then, now, forever.


I wish to wield the One Ring to Rule them All, but not anything else.

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. As the one ring appears in your hand the rest of the Universe, that is not you or the ring disintigrates, fully ensuring that you shall never be its master.

This sucks.

Someone should make a wish to undo this.

Oh right. I wish to un-distroy the universe.

[Crisis21]

Hello? Is a kinglinus1 here? I have the deluxe customizable multiverse you ordered. Now, if you'll just bear with me for a century or two, there's a few questions you need to answer so that we can make sure your new multiverse is just the way you want it!

First question: Should Earth be the center of the new prime universe?


I wish kinglinus1 would approve multiple races of attractive humanoid aliens to populate his new multiverse alongside humans.

[Korith]

Wish granted! The new universe is comprised of 10^80 attractive humanoid aliens, each of which is a fundamental particle of the universe. Their average mass is 60kg, and average height is 1.7m.

I wish we could start this new universe off with a bang.

[Extrail]

Granted The universe was creaqted with a bang a big bang. a universally big bang.

I wish for their to be a shorter length then a planck length.

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. That length exists, and it’s so small, what ever it’s refering to is literally non-existent. And the universe is that length know. The entirety of it.

I wish I could travel through time.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I wish I could travel through time.

You can no travel through time at the formidable pace of +1s/s, and you can take an unlimited amount of luggage and even passengers with you!

I wish my laundry was done already.

[Crisis21]

Congratulations, your laundry has been pre-emptively done for the rest of your life! And your afterlife. And your next ten reincarnations.



I wish I could self-motivate better.

[Extrail]

Granted! whenever you motivate yourself you can do literally do anything you motivate yourself to do.

I wish that the world was only in shades of gray.

[ben-zayb]

Granted! Don't worry, though. The entirety of the universe are now just in shades of grey, so much so that every shade of it has their own name now to easily distinguish them from each other. Incidentally, UV is now called UG, or Ultragraphite, and Infrared is now Infragunmetal.

I wish that the only colors that can ever exist are gold, silver, and bronze.

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. Ugh this gold font on bronze backround is so hard to read.

I wish for a sandwich.

[Crisis21]

And on your left, you will see Mt. Sandwich. This is not only the world's tallest mountain, it is the world's only mountain made entirely out of sandwiches that, for reasons yet to be explained by science, have yet to show any signs of spoiling or staleness. If you keep watching as we drive around the base you may see the entrance to the cave of kinglinus1, who owns the deed to the entire mountain and has lived in it since its mysterious appearance.


I wish I had more free time.

[Extrail]

You have all the time that could exist, and all the time that could ever exist. If you want time to do something you can do it regardless of the current circumstances.

I wish for a honest smile.

[AuthorGirl]

You have all the time that could exist, and all the time that could ever exist. If you want time to do something you can do it regardless of the current circumstances.

I wish for a honest smile.

Your smile is honest. It is ridiculously honest. Its sheer honesty compels it to speak independently of you, constantly correcting what you say so as to avoid any hint of untruthfulness.

I wish for a cup of coffee.

[Bucky]

I wish for a cup of coffee.

Propane-fuelled industrial boiler... check
Gas and water service pipelines... check
Fine mesh conveyer belt... check
Rollers spaced at 1/16 inch... check
Shipping container of coffee beans... check
Delivery fleet to refill the shipping container hourly... check
80 gallon ceremonial tankard... check

Enjoy your continuous free refills.

I wish I were better at writing.

[Crisis21]

Granted. You are now the second coming of Shakespeare (regardless of whether that was his real name or essentially a pen name).


I wish I wasn't sick with a cold right now.

[Rater202]

You are now completely and utterly impervious to all sickness by a definition that includes not only physical and mental illness but also injury and even aging itself. Even when the sun becomes ared giant and engulfs the earth you will still live, in perfect health, trapped in boiling plasma for an eternity.

I wish I could focus and finish writing this chapter of a fanfic I've been stuck on for like, ever.

[AuthorGirl]

You are now completely and utterly impervious to all sickness by a definition that includes not only physical and mental illness but also injury and even aging itself. Even when the sun becomes ared giant and engulfs the earth you will still live, in perfect health, trapped in boiling plasma for an eternity.

I wish I could focus and finish writing this chapter of a fanfic I've been stuck on for like, ever.

Granted. You find it literally impossible to focus on or even attempt anything else, and you finish the fanfic in under a minute. For three hours, it is the darling of the Internet.

I wish I was already packed for church camp.

[flappeercraft]

You are packed so much that you have so much weight in your luggage that you physically can't carry it or even open it.

I wish I was taller

[Crisis21]

You are now so tall that when people say your head is in the clouds they mean it literally.


I wish humanity had more space to expand on Earth.

[CosmicHobbit]

Earth is now infinite. So, lots of room!

I wish there was better rap out there.

[Extrail]

Granted! due to the new and truly better rap trend. everyone loves rap, and all other music types are quickly forgotten due to it being clearly inferior to rap.

I wish for omniscience.

[ben-zayb]

Granted! Every thought, idea, knowledge from the past, present, and future, granted not only to you, but to everyone and everything--plants, animals, viruses, bacteria, every cell in any body, etc. Those without sapience and/or sentience (even nonliving objects!) even gain such to facilitate their newfound omniscience!

The concept of "Question" ceased to exist.




I wish to be the only living entity that was, is, and will be, everywhere

[Crisis21]

Granted. You are lonely. And bored. And so you decide to create something else and utter "let there be light!"


...but it's all in your head.


.....right?




I wish the genie dress code was more... provocative.

@V: Booo! Bad interpretation of wording!

[AuthorGirl]

Granted. You are lonely. And bored. And so you decide to create something else and utter "let there be light!"


...but it's all in your head.


.....right?




I wish the genie dress code was more... provocative.

The genie dress code now not only exists, but is abhorrent. Regardless of one's concept of aesthetics, the mere sight of a genie's clothing will provoke anger, disgust and the desire to run away.

I wish I felt less contempt towards certain people.

[ericgrau]

Every person you ever hated or even mildly disliked becomes a pure hearted saint. Orphanage helping and all.

I wish for an ice cream cone.