Overkill Wish Granting

[Extrail]

Granted! the only thing that exists besides ben-zayb is a icecream cone the size of a multiverse.

I wish i had luke cage's superpower.

[Crisis21]

Granted! You now possess every superpower that has ever been, or ever will be, possessed by any individual with the name 'Luke' or 'Cage'.


I wish I could change my hair at will.

@V: Why, with this I can become... a superhero!

[AuthorGirl]

Granted! You now possess every superpower that has ever been, or ever will be, possessed by any individual with the name 'Luke' or 'Cage'.


I wish I could change my hair at will.

Granted! You can change your hair into literally anything you want, even once it's cut. One strand of your hair is the key to anything you may desire.

I wish for a girlfriend (let's see how this works in this game, haha).

[Korith]

Granted! You now have the power to produce pheromones at will that will make you completely irresistible to other females. You can modulate the pheromones to produce different types of attraction, including but not limited to physical attraction, emotional attraction, and intellectual attraction.

I wish for a bowl of peas.

[Extrail]

As you know students when the great bowl of peas was wished for this solar system started to revolve around it. And we learned that very center of the universe is that giant bowl of peas. Each pea the size of a planet.

I wish for a pet chipmunk.

[Crisis21]

You have a pet chipmunk. He's quite amazing, really. He got his start in his youth founding his own detective agency, gaining fame, wealth, and influence as he solved cases that routinely stumped many others. As time went on, he became the head of international investigation for all rodent-kind, catching criminals both big and small by combining his cleverness and vast experience in the field, and his arrest record has gained him an ever-increasing base of devoted followers worldwide. Recently he was elected President-for-life for all rodent kind, who he had to talk down from making him God-emperor-eternal due to their fanatical devotion.

He's quite grateful for your assisting his attempt at retirement.


I wish I could meet a friendly attractive catgirl.

[Rater202]

You find all the friendly attractive catgirls. Of every possible combination of cat and girl that could possibly be found attractive by any human being, meaning that not all of them are atractive to you specifically. Sorry about that.

It's unfortunate, however, because they might be a little... Too friendly. Not aggressively amorous or anything, but they're unfailingly polite and omnipresent.

I wish that I had supreme power over fruit pies.

[Extrail]

Granted! You have supreme power over all combinations of pastry and fruit. Especially fruit pies.

I wish that 5 days from last Sunday in a white convertible a man who was starting to wear a dress gave birth to an ostrich.

[lex109]

Granted! You have supreme power over all combinations of pastry and fruit. Especially fruit pies.

I wish that 5 days from last Sunday in a white convertible a man who was starting to wear a dress gave birth to an ostrich.

You're walking down the road this Friday (i.e. five days from last Sunday) and you see a blindingly white convertible, so blinding that you can only look at it for a few moments at a time. There is an older man behind the wheel, in the middle of taking his shirt off. As you get closer you see he is not only taking his shirt off but he is also putting a pretty, yellow sundress on. As it slides over his shoulders and he pulls it over his muscular pecs, the corners of his lips turn down and you hear a low groaning. The groaning gets louder. And louder...and louder until finally he grabs his head, starts shaking uncontrollably, stands up and busts right through the synthetic convertible top. He starts to retch as he continues to shake and finally, after 15 minutes of retching and shaking and a crowd gathering round, he vomits out an ostrich. As it exits his mouth it's the size of a baby carrot, but as it falls to the ground it grows and grows and grows until it's bigger than he is. The ostrich looks at the man from whence it came and then at the crowd and then it starts dancing. The man, surprised, vomits up a top hat and hands it to the ostrich. The ostrich, who has announced his name is "Roy" continues to dance until the crowd provides a sufficient tip. Once appropriately compensated, he eats the man and drives away.

I wish I could meet Seven Of Nine (not Jeri Ryan, although that would be cool too).

[flappeercraft]

You meet seven of nine people in the world. Each meeting lasts for an hour and you must do it until you either die or finish. How nice it is to meet new people.

I wish I had more free time.

[Crisis21]

All of your time is free. You have no scheduled obligations from now until the end of eternity, and a literal army of secretaries and support staff whose only job is to make sure that someone else fulfills any obligations you agree to in the future so that all your time remains free.


I wish I had more money.

[Some Android]

You have all the money in the world plus all the gold in the universe.

I wish there were more episodes of Futurama.

[Extrail]

They constantly produce more. It is literally impossible to keep up with the constant stream of new futurana videos on the new channel futurama quality doesn't even suffer


I wish for an apple a day to keep my doctor away

[Some Android]

They constantly produce more. It is literally impossible to keep up with the constant stream of new futurana videos on the new channel futurama

So it's a let's play?

quality doesn't even suffer

Oh, never mind.

I wish for an apple a day to keep my doctor away

Are you familiar with Magic the Gathering?

You have seven (one for each day of the week) 25/25 Apple type monsters with Trample, Deathtouch, Firststrike, Fear, Intimidate, Vigilance, Flying, and Reach to protect you from any Doctor type monsters. Also anytime an Apple sends a creature to the graveyard it spawns one 1/1 apple token. Sacrifice five 1/1 apple tokens to give any one monster +5/+5.

I wish I had a lot of candy!

[Crisis21]

Here you go. The deed to one candy factory, formerly owned by a Mr. Wonka. Enjoy.


I wish the genie dress code was sexier.

[Rater202]

All genies now wear clothing that, somehow, manages to be more revealing and provocative than if they'd all gone naked.

I wish the Genie Dress code was more conservative.

[ChaoticHarmony]

All genies are now required to wear unflattering gray monks robes at All times. To compensate Crisis21's wish, genies, both professional and amateur, are now 20 times sexier, and are unable to be altered to be any less sexy by any means, even by overpowered wishes.

I wish wishing worked differently

[Some Android]

I wish wishing worked differently

Okay. You know have to learn Latin - a dead language - fill out a very long form in Latin. Then you have to do a series of vlogs - again, all in Latin - on a youtube channel. You channel needs to hit one million subscribers, then you have to beat a supernatural entity in a game of chess, scrabble, and yahtzee. Then you wish will finally be processed.

I wish I had Louise's hat from Bob's Burgers.

[flappeercraft]

You have the Bob Burger hat from Louise, in fact you have every single hat that even resembles it just for convenience and every single one that will ever exist.

I wish I was able to fly

[Extrail]

Granted! you can fly in every single manner possible. You can grow crow wings and fly that way, or just levitate off the groud, or use ion thrusters to fly instead. You can fly every way imaginable.

I wish for a stars star

[Crisis21]

You are now the exclusive agent for the most famous actor in the entire universe. He is so famous that other actors go screaming fan over this guy and line up to get his autograph and famous actresses throw themselves at him shamelessly begging to have his baby. Your offices are located in an opulent structure surrounding the largest and brightest star in the entire universe, both of which you own the deeds to.


I wish to revise the Deck of Many Things into something bigger, more relevant, more usable (by players and DMs alike), and more balanced.

[ChaoticHarmony]

The revision you create so amazingly balanced and fun, it becomes a needed staple in every tabletop game played. Games that don't include it in some way are doomed to become boring, and eventually dropped in the middle of the campaign.

I wish for a paradox within this forum

[Some Android]

I wish for a paradox within this forum

The paradox you create in this forum is so big it spreads to the rest of reality! The universe soon collapses into nothing!

I wish for some good sushi.

[Extrail]

Granted the next post if granted will cause a second paradox. The first one is so powerful that out reality is sucked into nothingness. A simpls. This truth is a lie. Set to supreme mode.



I wish this wish didn't exist.

[Crisis21]

Spoiler: Skipped Wish

Show

I wish for some good sushi.

You have seven months filled with the best sushi you have ever, or will ever, taste.

It doesn't. Nor does the mouth that spoke it, the brain that thought it, any ear that heard it, nor the spirit that granted it.



I wish I existed again.

[ben-zayb]

You existed so much that you are omnipresent, and everything/everyone always has a part of you in them. You always have existed, and will mever cease to be.


I wish that 2+2=5

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! You're discovery and correction of this flaw in Math, 2+2=4, has revolutionized advanced mathematics, allowing all the most difficult mathematical equations to finally be solved. As a side note, an evil fairy believing teacher will still claim you are wrong, and insist that 2+2=6, not 5

I wish this wish would get skipped

[Extrail]

I wish for a cup of pie.

[Thurulian]

I wish for a cup of pie.

Granted but its an athletes Cup


I wish for a dragon

[farothel]

All black dragons killed by Vaarsuvius in OOTS are now resurected and will serve you faithfully and all their offspring too.

I wish to conquer the world.