D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

[Vogie]

But the effect starts at the end of your next turn so it won't work the turn after you start it as an action and you cannot cast concentration spells on your that turn since that would end the performance. Maybe change it so the duration starts on the start of your next turn.

On the DC part, since you have expertise in performance skill, isn't the proficiency tripled. Otherwise flavorwise, you are completely right.

Whoops - You are absolutely right. I've changed the performance to last until the start of the next turn, and removed the accidental triple-proficiency. Everything should be appropriate now.

[Crisis21]

I don't have the issue with the focus on shillelagh. In my opinion, I would have implemented it as its own thing, borrowing or taking inspiration from the Forge Domains item improvement or a pact weapon instead of as a spell. Blessing of the forge and Hex Warrior with a pact of the blade are both much more streamlined ways to write it for features. It can still be flavored as Shillelagh or the Blackthorns Blessing or something. As it is right now, I think it is a weird mix between them and I would think it would be tedious to look up all the exceptions and changes to the spell. But, that is my opinion and I guess other people here disagree then =).

But eldritch knight gets to choose from the wizard spell pool and they have more evocation and abjuration spells. Transmutation and evocation for druid is still a shorter list of choices than abjuration and evocation for wizards. While I agree that abjuration is more martial focused generally, I disagree when looking over the druid spell list as only a few of the 9 druid abjuration spells of level 1-4 is worth the while.

I'll look up the forge domains to see what you're talking about (I have yet to personally run a cleric, so I'm light on many of the archetypes). I'll also take your advice about the available schools under advisement. I don't want to give them three, so I'll have to consider if I'd rather drop Abjuration of Evocation (possibly abjuration considering your comment) to allow Transmutation.

Originally I was going to do Wizardlock, but Crisis21's version right before the contest started was basically what I imagined it being (right down to the name).

I'd apologize, but I'm honestly not sorry.

[theVoidWatches]

Not actually part of this contest since we're only allowed one entry, but I just posted an Inspiration Domain for clerics that sort of makes you into a bard, and I'd appreciate any feedback.

[Crisis21]

Changes Green Knight's spellcasting to favor transmutation spells instead of abjuration. No other changes at this time.

[nickl_2000]

Alright, I made a few more adjustments, with less overlap with a Monk this will make it better to combine with monk. Also, I made the Ki interchangable between classes.

I dropped the bonus action dodge for Ki (seems to powerful on a fighter) and Focused Strike entirely and added in these instead.

Exploit Weakness - You know that target always have a moment of weakness after being hit and your inner focus allows you to recognize where that weakness exist take advantage of it. You may spend 1 Ki to make an attack as a bonus action after you have damaged an opponent. When you hit with a critical hit, this extra attack is made with advantage.

Something out of nothing - You have learned through long battle that even a missed strike can be turned to your advantage. When you make an attack and miss, you may spend 1 Ki to us it to distract your opponent giving them disadvantage on their next attack. This ability cannot be used on a critical miss.

[Crisis21]

Question: Would anyone here be interested in a contest thread for 5e Prestige Classes, as detailed here?

[Fnissalot]

I have updated how I describe the preparation and creation of relics and added a whole bunch of more relics.

Alright, I made a few more adjustments, with less overlap with a Monk this will make it better to combine with monk. Also, I made the Ki interchangable between classes.

I dropped the bonus action dodge for Ki (seems to powerful on a fighter) and Focused Strike entirely and added in these instead.

Exploit Weakness - You know that target always have a moment of weakness after being hit and your inner focus allows you to recognize where that weakness exist take advantage of it. You may spend 1 Ki to make an attack as a bonus action after you have damaged an opponent. When you hit with a critical hit, this extra attack is made with advantage.

Something out of nothing - You have learned through long battle that even a missed strike can be turned to your advantage. When you make an attack and miss, you may spend 1 Ki to us it to distract your opponent giving them disadvantage on their next attack. This ability cannot be used on a critical miss.

The changes look good!

Something out of nothing, I would change "on their next attack" to "on the first attack on their next turn". It is a bit more clear and makes so you only need to keep track of it one round at a time.

[nickl_2000]

The changes look good!

Something out of nothing, I would change "on their next attack" to "on the first attack on their next turn". It is a bit more clear and makes so you only need to keep track of it one round at a time.

Good call on that. I didn't intend for it to last forever, which it does currently. I made it this instead (copied the wording from Vicious Mockery).

Something out of nothing - You have learned through long battle that even a missed strike can be turned to your advantage. When you make an attack and miss, you may spend 1 Ki to us it to distract your opponent, giving disadvantage on its next attack roll before the end of its next turn.. This ability cannot be used on a critical miss.

[Bloodcloud]

Question: Would anyone here be interested in a contest thread for 5e Prestige Classes, as detailed here?

I think that UA showed prestige class in 5e made little sense, and i’d leave it at that. Subclass contest, race contest, magic item contest, spell contest, redesign contest, new class contest, they all make more sense to me.

[nickl_2000]

Question: Would anyone here be interested in a contest thread for 5e Prestige Classes, as detailed here?

I wouldn't be interested, but that is mostly because I am more comfortable working within a framework of the subclasses (specifically you get these abilities at these levels and there is a standard over what is combat and what is other tier or ribbon). By all means do it is there is interest, but it isn't for me.

I've only ever done one full class, and that took me forever.

[SleeplessWriter]

Just posted the Hedge Wizard, a more woodsy wizard that uses a few of the ranger's nature themed spells, has a bit of a beefier familiar, smokes a pipe or wears flowers to gain metamagic, and will give anyone cheeky enough to punch them a good thwacking. Still don't know what I want to do with their capstone, I was wondering about maybe giving them something from the druid there, or maybe just leaning into either the beastmaster familiar or the flower power metamagic. Maybe even draw a little something from the barbarian aside from the retaliation-like feature I gave them at 10th level. I'm open to suggestions.

Been a bit busy lately so I might be a little slow to give feedback on other people's stuff for a while.

[nickl_2000]

PEACHing the new ones that I haven't done yet

Spoiler: Socerous Origin: Fury

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Spell Fury
-The damage bonus to spell fury is a little bit abusable with thing that allow you to stack hits (magic missile, scorching ray, etc), but it probably isn't to big of a deal considering that other get things like this as well.
-The damage resistance should be against non-magical weapons. I don't see any reason why this should be a better resistance than the barbarian gets.

For unbreakable will, you may want to mention that this ability must be done before rolling. I can tell that was your intent, but it may avoid a tiny bit of confusion.

Spoiler: Coffee wizard

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Jitterbug - I get that the bonus action dash/disengage/dodge is what you are borrowing from another class, but something about it feels off. It may be that the flavour text is based on how much information you can get in one sitting, or something else I am not sure. I think the first fix would be flavour and see if that helps my feeling. Since you are stealing the action surge at level 14, you could also drop to in favor of something else.

All-Nighter - This seems overpowered to me. You are effectively giving a Wizard 3 more levels of spells at level 6 and it gets even better from there. I just seems like you are giving a wizard way to many leveled spells in a day.

Spoiler: Hedge Wizard

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Hedge Magic - Talking about non-cantrip spells known is a little weird on a wizard since they don't know spells like a sorcerer or a bard. They write what they want into their spells books and can prepare whatever they want. The concept here is fine, but I think it needs to be re-phrased to say that they can write it into the book.

Also, barkskin pretty much sucks and there is rarely a call to use it since it is concentration. I would look at one of the other level 3 spells to replace it (Spike Growth, Locate Animals or Plants, Moonbeam, or Animal Messenger). Actually I would probably choose animal messenger if it were me.

Herbalist’s Magic - I think this needs to be looked at, re-fluffed, or at least renamed. It seems kind of out of place to me, up until this point you are focused on a Druidic/Natural Wizard, then all the sudden you are taking metamagic from a Sorcerer. It just feels off to me. Land's Strike from Druid Circle of Land seems fitting, as does Nature's Ward. You could also borrow from Ranger if you wanted (favored terrain or Primeval Awareness).

[Bloodcloud]

Just a few comments on the comment...

Spell Fury
-The damage bonus to spell fury is a little bit abusable with thing that allow you to stack hits (magic missile, scorching ray, etc), but it probably isn't to big of a deal considering that other get things like this as well.

Actually, there are basically no abilities like that ever since the latest round of errata. Bonus to spell damage are all once per spell with the exception of hex AFAIK.

-The damage resistance should be against non-magical weapons. I don't see any reason why this should be a better resistance than the barbarian gets.

Except barabarian don't get the non-magical weapon clause.

Coffee wizard

Not a fan of the coffee theme, feels like more of a D20 modern thing. Level 6 feature is way strong. The borrowing is a bit all over the place, with cunning action and action surge featured without an actual martial theme?


Hedge Wizard

Hedge Magic Agree with Nick here, needs some work on the wording. I do think Barkskin is thematic, and a wizard gets some decent benefit out of it over a Druid, given complete absence or armor profiency, which is worth considering.


Herbalist’s Magic I think you are diluting the theme here, and this feel a bit like an OP tack-on. I'd reconsider completely and go for a more nature-theme ability.

[nickl_2000]

Except barbarian don't get the non-magical weapon clause.

Huh, I don't know why I thought that. Thanks for the correction.

Hedge Magic Agree with Nick here, needs some work on the wording. I do think Barkskin is thematic, and a wizard gets some decent benefit out of it over a Druid, given complete absence or armor profiency, which is worth considering.

Between mage armor and light armor proficiency (class ability) gained at level 2 barkskin just won't be worth the concentration. That being said, I agree that it is thematic, and it's free. So, if you like it, keep it. No harm, no foul.

[MoleMage]

Way of Tranquil Fury has its first draft up. I'm worried that I've piled too much damage onto the subclass, and Disabling Strike is probably both too strong and too boring (I wanted a way to represent the monk breaking limbs in a sort of brutal pragmatic way but I couldn't come up with appropriate mechanics on the spot, so I'll come back to that in a day or two with a fresh mind and try again), but the theme is about where I wanted it so I'll submit it for feedback now.

I will also try to get feedback up for all submissions tomorrow.

[nickl_2000]

Way of Tranquil Fury has its first draft up. I'm worried that I've piled too much damage onto the subclass, and Disabling Strike is probably both too strong and too boring (I wanted a way to represent the monk breaking limbs in a sort of brutal pragmatic way but I couldn't come up with appropriate mechanics on the spot, so I'll come back to that in a day or two with a fresh mind and try again), but the theme is about where I wanted it so I'll submit it for feedback now.

I will also try to get feedback up for all submissions tomorrow.

Spoiler: Ragemonk (Monk: Way of Tranquil Fury)

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First of all an angry raging monk seems like a misnomer or an oxymoron, so I applaud you for making it and giving it the proper fluff to make it work it looks like it would be a lot of fun to play.

However, your balance is pretty far off in this first draft and it seems like there are some overcomplications. First, the Ki not coming back for until a long rest? It seems overly complicated to me, but it's not impossible to track, so is that is one way to balance sure why not.

At level 3, you are rage and are now doing
1d4+dex+wis (8.5 base, 17 for bonus action hit, or 25.5 damage for a flurry)
At level 5, it gets worse
1d6+dex+wis (10.5 for each attack, so 21 with attack action, 32.5 with bonus action hit, or 44 with flurry).

I think it is just to much compared to all the other martial out there at level 5.
(Rogue 4d6+dex = 18 damage, Fighter Shield 2d8+8 = 19, Fighter two hander 4d6+8 = 22, Barbarian 2 hander 4d6+8+4 = 26).

So, without a feat or anything else, you are out damaging pretty much everyone else. Even if you choose you bonus action to be a dodge, you are nearly at a 2 hander fighter damage and your AC is going to be 17ish with disadvantage on all attacks against you.

Open stance Strike - So this one is interesting, it's definitely a high gain, very high risk venture. I can see it being conditionally very useful, although you need to define when the AoO happens before you attack or after. I think after would be more fitting, but that is just me.

Blade Catching - I like this, but I think you have overdone it. I would drop the damage rider for Ki and have the 1 Ki spent i you reduce it to 0 to disarm. Also, as a side note, what happens with this if you are being attacked with natural weapons?

Everything else seems fine to me.

[MoleMage]

Spoiler: Ragemonk (Monk: Way of Tranquil Fury)

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First of all an angry raging monk seems like a misnomer or an oxymoron, so I applaud you for making it and giving it the proper fluff to make it work it looks like it would be a lot of fun to play.

However, your balance is pretty far off in this first draft and it seems like there are some overcomplications. First, the Ki not coming back for until a long rest? It seems overly complicated to me, but it's not impossible to track, so is that is one way to balance sure why not.

At level 3, you are rage and are now doing
1d4+dex+wis (8.5 base, 17 for bonus action hit, or 25.5 damage for a flurry)
At level 5, it gets worse
1d6+dex+wis (10.5 for each attack, so 21 with attack action, 32.5 with bonus action hit, or 44 with flurry).

I think it is just to much compared to all the other martial out there at level 5.
(Rogue 4d6+dex = 18 damage, Fighter Shield 2d8+8 = 19, Fighter two hander 4d6+8 = 22, Barbarian 2 hander 4d6+8+4 = 26).

So, without a feat or anything else, you are out damaging pretty much everyone else. Even if you choose you bonus action to be a dodge, you are nearly at a 2 hander fighter damage and your AC is going to be 17ish with disadvantage on all attacks against you.

Open stance Strike - So this one is interesting, it's definitely a high gain, very high risk venture. I can see it being conditionally very useful, although you need to define when the AoO happens before you attack or after. I think after would be more fitting, but that is just me.

Blade Catching - I like this, but I think you have overdone it. I would drop the damage rider for Ki and have the 1 Ki spent i you reduce it to 0 to disarm. Also, as a side note, what happens with this if you are being attacked with natural weapons?

Everything else seems fine to me.

I was worried about the damage being too high, but damage boosts made the most sense. I'll definitely pull the damage effect off of Blade Catching (which is just there so that you have at least some built-in counteraction for Open Stance Strike's drawback) and specify that it doesn't work on natural weapons, but I do want to point out that the +Wis to damage on Battle Trance is only for attacks made as part of a bonus action, not all attacks while in a Trance. It does still look a little high even with that in mind, so I will likely dial it back to a static value like the rage it is based on.

The ki not returning is because the benefits of Battle Trance are much higher than other usages of ki (which are usually instant instead of duration), and because Rage is a long-rest feature, but I didn't want to just give monks an additional resource.

[Crisis21]

So I whipped up a Guerilla Fighter the other night (haven't posted it). Gave it a some Rogue features (including 1/3 Sneak Attack progression) and a couple of Ranger features.

[Fnissalot]

Heheh, I started looking into a raging bard, the college of rage and rock, or ragnarok for short. Mostly because the play on words was fun and that none of the bard subclasses are so metal...

[MoleMage]

It's a day later than advertised because yesterday ended up a little more hectic than anticipated, but feedback for everyone!

Spoiler: Path of the Pack Master

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First off I like the theme. The game could use a couple more (functional) pet classes. Now for feature review.

• I think the core pet is fine; which makes sense since it's basically copied from Revised Ranger. Proficiency also good.
• Does Savage Bond still require the material component (a pair of platinum rings worth 50gp each)? Does it still have a range of touch (I assume yes)? Finally, you might want to put a special exception to the rule that barbarians can't cast spells while raging, just to appease the rules-lawyers.
• Predatory Tactics's second benefit is odd on the class that gets Reckless Attack, but honestly I'm okay with it. Barbarian 10 is supposed to be a niche benefit anyway.
• Guardian of the Pack is a good protective feature and optional way to enter rage off turn. How does it work if you are out of rages for the day?

Overall I think the subclass is good, but I'm a little sad there aren't any improvements to the companion itself. It seems like you did it that way to distance it from the Beastmaster itself (which gets nothing but improvements to the animal), but I think a barbarian-oriented animal improvement (such as sharing rage's bonus damage) would be good.

Spoiler: The Skinwalker

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A different twist on the shapeshifting ranger than I am used to seeing, but I approve.

• The spells are all on theme, though given the versatility of the rest of the features I'm not sure they are necessary.
• Wild Shape: I like that you've given a built-in way to acquire skins.
• Monstrous Form: This is great thematically, but I'm worried about it mechanically. First, the resource tracking is a lot compared to other classes. Second, since you become a specific individual, there's a question of how to handle unique traits that the DM has given a creature. For example, if I take the form of a hobgoblin with a special single-use spell granted to members of the Cult of Cultiness, do I get that spell, even though it isn't part of the normal stat block? Third, if I'm turning into an individual, how much of its memory do I have? None, some, or all? Finally, as an extension of 2, what about monsters the DM created for a campaign? There's a balance concern where they may misassign the challenge rating of a creature.
• Monstrous Form: Do I have to use the creature's skin right away or can I save it for later? What if I drag its corpse around using gentle repose (gruesome, but well within the bounds of a party that's willing to budge a little on the "good").
• Animalistic Smite: Gotta do something with the spell slots. This seems about right (better than Moon Druid's spell slots to heal, but then the ranger doesn't eventually get spellcasting in animal form.
• Thousand Forms: My only concern here is that it invalidates the inclusion of alter self in the expanded magic options.

Overall, it's excellent in theme and presentation, but it comes across as pretty fiddly. A lot of that is baggage inherited from Wild Shape though, so I am personally inclined to roll with it (and just make sure that the DM is balancing their monster CRs properly).

Spoiler: Enlightened Warrior

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Another one with a great theme. I've always been a sucker for the spiritual-minded weapon user, but for the most part games offer only barehanded (sometimes staff) users in that field.

• Warrior's Wisdom: Full ki progression seems high. As I read the other features, it seems like you've made a lot of this subclass's ki costs higher than what a straight monk would pay for similar features (other than the level 3 abilities). As a way to discourage multiclassing to get extra ki, I suppose this is a solution, but given how deep into this class you have to go to get the really good ones I think a smaller ki pool and cheaper abilities would also work.
• Warrior's Wisdom also doesn't specify that you regain ki on a short rest, which I assume is the case.
• Exploit Weakness: Wording is a little odd. I would put the trigger first, something like: "When you damage an opponent with a weapon attack, you may[...]", and the second clause would read better as "If the triggering attack was a critical hit[...]". Balance-wise I'm on the fence with this feature. It has the potential to really exacerbate Sharpshooter/GWM, but it's on theme and has a resource cost.
• Something out of Nothing: Critical miss isn't a standard rule. "if the attack roll was a natural 1" would be more in-line with PHB phrasing. I like this as a defensive feature that isn't fully Patient Defense.
• Lesser Ki Manipulation: These are all 1st level spells, so I'm not sure why they have different costs here. I get that the utility of something like bless is higher than command, but they are technically valued equally by the game's structure. The cost is also higher than similar monk features (for 2 ki, Way of Shadows gets 2nd level spells, for example).
• Mental Shield's cost is a little high for what it does. Charm and fear effects are pretty uncommon and it has no lasting duration.
• Greater Ki Manipulation: As with Lesser Ki Manipulation, these are all the same spell level, so it's odd to me that they have different costs. They are also quite expensive, even compared to Way of Four Elements (though Four Elements is probably not a good comparison point for ki costs, as it's all over the place).
• Ki Battlefocus: It probably doesn't need to specify remaining ki. It's also arguably the absolute best return on ki investment the subclass gets (invisibility is chump change compared to +wis to damage and AC on the class with the most total ASIs), to the point where after I got this, I would probably never use any other ki-spender besides Exploit Weakness and maybe Something Out of Nothing. With Action Surge 2/SR the action cost is manageable.

Overall, I would cut back the number of ki and the ki costs (especially on the spell-duplicating features). I think you have consistent theme throughout and I think that theme is a good one.

Spoiler: Green Knight

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What's this? A third caster that isn't based on Wizard? What blasphemy!
In all seriousness, I think that the fact that the only two third casters are both wizard-based in core was a travesty (when clearly Arcane Trickster should have been Bard).

• Spellcasting: Based on Eldritch Knight I assume, so not much to comment on here. I would have gone with Abjuration over Evocation, but I can see Evocation working.
• Shillelagh: It's fine (maybe a little strong in the higher tiers), though when it's gained it doesn't do a whole lot for the fighter when it is first gained. Their strength will most likely be higher than their wisdom, and improving a club to 1d8 doesn't do much when they can use a warhammer already. It also isn't clear how it interacts when they let go of it. Can other characters use it? Do they replace its attack and damage with their own spellcasting ability or the fighter's? The damage bonus at 5, 11, and 17 does make it worthwhile but also makes it so that every other option progressively gets pushed out (even a greatsword with great weapon fighting has average damage of ~8.2 compared to the level 17 super-shillelagh's 8.5, or 10.5 with duelist).
• Natural Expertise: "You gain Expertise in your chosen proficiencies and add double your proficiency bonus to checks made involving them." is redundant. I would also give the skill proficiency at level 3 alongside Herbalism Kit, then the expertise here as it currently is (getting skill proficiencies past the first level you get your subclass is pretty rare).
• Nature's Serenity: Fine as is. Possibly a little strong for level 10.
• Undying Sentinel: Timeless Body for fighters, with a little Relentless Rage tacked on for seasoning. I like it and the long rest refresh keeps it in check.
• Nature's Armory: I'm okay with every part of it except the multiple objects part. Without an upper limit on items, you could be walking around with permanent +2 weapon, shield, and armor (assuming you can get a suit of non-metal armor), and that weapon does 1d12 as a one-hander. You can even share the benefits by casting it on allies' shields, or leather armor, or making a bone shiv and passing the rogue a +2 dagger that does 1d12 instead of 1d4.

Overall, the class is consistent within a theme, but I feel as though the shillelagh scaling doesn't align with the rest of the power growth (it starts off as a rather minor feature and eventually becomes concerningly powerful).

Spoiler: Faustian College

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It only now occurs to me how much the game needs a "selling your soul for talent" subclass. Can't believe I missed that one before.

• Pact Instrument: It's good. I'd actually like to see a backport of this onto warlock, though the cantrip would have to be changed in that case so as to differentiate from tomelock.
• Greatest Song in the World: I agree with previous reviews that expertise on the bounded accuracy/bounded saving throw model kinda throws everything awry. The activation is also a little hard for me to parse. It seems like you concentrate until the start of your next turn and then get a benefit for a minute (no concentration required beyond the first turn). If the benefit required concentration for the whole minute I think it would be more balanced.
• Devil's Luck: I would restrict it to saving throws. College of Lore gets the ability checks in the same fashion (though without a rest limitation) at level 14.
• Crossroads Bargain: The versatility is great and I think the drawback keeps it in line. The damage type is mostly redundant (it only ever comes up if you somehow gain a vulnerabillity to necrotic damage), but keeps it on theme.

Poor bards with their three subclass features. I almost want to do a bard re-write to give them a little more subclass diversity. I think you did good with your theme and with your references here. My only concern is the same as you've seen before: Expertise on attacks and saving throw DCs.

Spoiler: Relic Grifter

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Someone's got to steal that divine power, right?

• Spellcasting: Okay this is new. It looks like you made some sort of unholy combination of 3.5 and earlier's prepared magic and 5e pact casting. I kinda like it. I don't have a point of comparison for balance but my gut says it's fine.
• Terminology Note: Many of your features still refer to resonating with a relic. This seems to have been replaced in the spellcasting feature with having the relic prepared at some point during editing.
• Swindling Divinity: The final restriction (cannot recreate the relic until you have used a different Swindle Divinity) seems harsh, as it means there's always one relic you're locked out of after you use the feature once. I would put a time restriction (maybe a week) instead that is bypassed by using the feature again. That way the rogue can come out of downtime at full power while their short term play is similar to what you have here.
• Dissonant Prayers and Empty Promises: Besides having entirely too long of a feature name (I kid, I kid), I think that the drawback is perhaps unneeded. It should also clarify whether it means the die result or the total result (die result seems intended, as it would be impossible to trigger on a proficient save otherwise).
• Divine Hustle: Besides the use of resonate instead of prepared, at this level the rogue should have 4 total relics prepared, not 2 (so it should read "none" instead of "neither"), and the trigger requirement therefore becomes a little harsh.
• Relics: They seem fine. They follow a consistent pattern in number and level of spells granted. I will note that a level 19 Relic Grifter has functionally 32 spells to choose from at the start of the day, which is more than double what other 1/3rd casters get, but since they also give up 25% of their list every time they use one spell I think you're okay.

This is definitely the most mechanically original subclass in the thread so far, and for what it's worth that's a pro in by book. I would recommend a wording pass to make the rest of your features match the changes you made to Spellcasting, and softening the drawbacks on already use-limited features.

Spoiler: Primal Bloodline

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I also was a big fan of the geomancer, if it weren't for their tragic spell progression, so I'm happy they got an homage.

• Primal Magic: Divine Soul but druid. No changes or comments necessary.

• Aspect of the Beast: Gonna break this down a bit more. If I don't mention a drift assume it seemed fine to me.
• Cat's Eyes: Darkvision is a standard feature, why not just say "Darkvision to 120 feet"? Missing an apostrophe in 'cat's'.
• Beast Senses: A version of this for sight would be cool too.
• Hooved Feets: Should be feet.
• Clawed Hands: This is the only 1st level drift that scales. I don't think it's too strong, but it does stand out.

• Embrace of the Beast: Broken out again.
• Natural Armament: Should specify the range of the attack and whether it's a weapon attack or a spell attack. Seems to be intended as a 5ft melee weapon attack, which is fine.
• Swiftness of the Prey: The name doesn't fit the description. I would expect Dash instead of hide reading the name.
• Predator's Charge: Disengage seems odd and overlaps with Prey. Perhaps a shove attempt instead?
• Keen Sense: You've got another odd-man-out in your choice list. As with before its effect is fine but it stands out (in this case, as it doesn't give bonus action options).

• Boone of the Beast: Should be Boon (no e). These are all similar so I didn't break them out. Generally, Flight or Swim is the most useful depending on whether you deal with aquatic environs a lot. Burrow is niche but abusable, so I think half speed works there. I would drop swim back to normal speed (water breathing as a rider still makes it attractive, much like Monkey's Limb granting athletics proficiency). Monkey's Limbs is missing the "y", and Fish Gills should not have an apostrophe on gills (either "Fish's Gills" or "Fish Gills" would be fine).

• Primal Apotheosis: It's odd that elemental sources didn't come up in the previous features. I would add one or two elemental-based drifts (or rename animal ones if you prefer) to make this seem less isolated. Other than that seems okay (strong but also expensive).
• Stone: How long does the difficult terrain last?
• Fire: As written, a creature must both start and end their turn there, when your intent seems to be for it to trigger separately for start of turn and end of turn. I would make this just start of turn (entering the space already allows a second trigger).
• Wind: What direction are they pushed, and what is the origin of the cone (I assume "away from you" and "you" respectively, but it should be specified in the ability).
• Water: What constitutes stopping in a space? (End of turn? Taking an action? Whole turn without moving?) The "move to make an enemy vulnerable" ability could be an active ability as an alternate balance, instead of allowing a save. The Reaction is very strong (uncanny dodge plus disengage plus dash all on one reaction).
• All Four: I would aim to give these all the same duration and parallel design (for example, each one gets a passive combat bonus, a passive utility bonus, and an action, bonus action, or reaction ability), then balance the power to the duration instead of the duration to the power. It makes the ability seem more cohesive that way.

Overall, I think you've captured a lot of the over time transformation of the 3.5 Geomancer, but Primal Apotheosis comes out of nowhere after 17 levels of "animal" and I think that it lacks mechanical cohesion (such as Embrace having three bonus action choices and one passive). There were also a few proofreading errors, which I tried to catch on my comment lines but a solid pass specifically for that would be good.

Spoiler: Fury Sorcerer

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Ah, a fellow user of the "rage but not rage".

• Spell Fury: I like it. It is everything you expect from angry spellcasting. My only comment is that given your changes to sorcerer stuff instead of melee stuff, the resistance could change as well (perhaps to "damage from spells" a la Ancients Paladin).
• Barbaric Training: Bonus proficiencies and extra health both logical and arguably necessary. It's good where it's at.
• Renewed Fury: I wasn't expecting the number of uses to draw on sorcery points but I like it.
• Reckless Casting: It forces the Sorcerer into attack-based spells instead of save-based spells. For balance this is fine, but it does leave diversity by the wayside a bit.
• Unbreakable Will: This is good. It's probably the cheapest 18th level sorcery point spender but it's also going to come up with greater frequency, and not being able to see if you'd succeed before using it is also good.

Overall, it's elegant and looks balanced to me. Good work.

Spoiler: Coffee Wizard

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Interesting because it seems to have borrowed from a multiclass interaction.

Jitterbug: This is strong but not unreasonably so. Disengage particularly is of use to a wizard.
Spell Buzz: With the dash bonus action on jitterbug, the synergy might be too strong. An alternate wording (you can move up to this speed after casting the spell without using up movement, or something along those lines) would prevent the double dip on the speed.
All-Nighter: I assume this means the spell levels. Should be okay from a balance perspective, though personally I don't care for special features based on Proficiency Bonus (even in core).
Buzz Rush: Again, seems to be fine balance wise. Actually could probably have more possible uses and still be okay. As with All-Nighter I personally don't care for Proficiency Bonus special features.
Espresso: It's Action Surge for wizards! Which might be a bit much considering some of their spell options. I'd limit the spells you can use for the additional action (maybe to 5th level or below, since Twinned Spell caps out at 5th level). Otherwise fine.

Overall, this is a subclass that looks balanced, but it also doesn't have a lot of flash on the page.

Spoiler: Hedge Wizard

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There's something Pratchett-like about your flavor text that I find enjoyable.

• Hedge Craft: A good proficiency + ribbon. Nothing to add.
• Hedge Magic: I like that it allows access to druid magic, but only druid magic that fits the narrower theme of the hedge wizard.
• Herbalist's Magic: Is there a maximum amount of points you can store? Overall the conversion rates put a damper on this, though I can see a few cases where it would be nice (Extended Barkskin, for one).
• Wizard's Wrath: Can you willingly fail your concentration check to trigger this? Intent seems to be not.

You're still missing a 14th level feature. I like the theme and the flavor text, and the features all seem to be in line except Herbalist's Magic which seems too pricey to be generally useful.

Spoiler: Skald

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Would you look at that, a bardbarian. Is this inspired by the Pathfinder hybrid class in any way?

Poet of the Past: The skills seem appropriate. One has to wonder how the barbarian got proficiency in either skill baseline, but I guess background could be something else.
Maker of Legends: Bardic Inspiration with a smaller die, different usable checks, and rage-only, if I read it right. Seems on theme. Might be a little too restrictive considering it's not a primary stat and it never improves to short rest. I would increase the number (maybe Cha mod per rage instead of per long rest?).
Flowing Rage: I assume the benefits of rage are the specific bullet points of the rage feature? If they gain the damage bonus, do they use the barbarian's level or +2? Also, the three bullet points are not equally valuable, but that's not as much of an issue as they are all situationally valuable.
Song of the Seven Thunders: The usage could use more clarity. Is it an action? An Action only on the turn you rage? An action any time while raging? Something else? Fortitude save should be Constitution save, and I assume the damage type is supposed to be thunder damage. Also, the range breakdown is cool but 5e tends to prefer simpler calculations (maybe two range categories instead of 5).
Song of True Rage: Fatigued isn't a thing in 5e. You could recreate the effects of it by giving specific penalties, though. Is entering the rage at all voluntary? As written, entering it is mandatory, meaning you always spend at least one round in it (and therefor one round penalized) and that would also remove concentration effects if a caster used it.

Overall, I think you're on the right track. Song of Seven Thunders could be written in a simpler fashion and I think its inspiration dice are too sparse for a core feature. It could also use a proofreading pass, as there are a lot of uncapitalized sentence starters and some of the sentences are a little difficult to read.

[theVoidWatches]

It's a day later than advertised because yesterday ended up a little more hectic than anticipated, but feedback for everyone!

The Skinwalker
A different twist on the shapeshifting ranger than I am used to seeing, but I approve.

• The spells are all on theme, though given the versatility of the rest of the features I'm not sure they are necessary.
• Wild Shape: I like that you've given a built-in way to acquire skins.
• Monstrous Form: This is great thematically, but I'm worried about it mechanically. First, the resource tracking is a lot compared to other classes. Second, since you become a specific individual, there's a question of how to handle unique traits that the DM has given a creature. For example, if I take the form of a hobgoblin with a special single-use spell granted to members of the Cult of Cultiness, do I get that spell, even though it isn't part of the normal stat block? Third, if I'm turning into an individual, how much of its memory do I have? None, some, or all? Finally, as an extension of 2, what about monsters the DM created for a campaign? There's a balance concern where they may misassign the challenge rating of a creature.
• Monstrous Form: Do I have to use the creature's skin right away or can I save it for later? What if I drag its corpse around using gentle repose (gruesome, but well within the bounds of a party that's willing to budge a little on the "good").
• Animalistic Smite: Gotta do something with the spell slots. This seems about right (better than Moon Druid's spell slots to heal, but then the ranger doesn't eventually get spellcasting in animal form.
• Thousand Forms: My only concern here is that it invalidates the inclusion of alter self in the expanded magic options.

Overall, it's excellent in theme and presentation, but it comes across as pretty fiddly. A lot of that is baggage inherited from Wild Shape though, so I am personally inclined to roll with it (and just make sure that the DM is balancing their monster CRs properly).

• The spells might not be necessary, no, but I was modeling this (roughly) off the Ranger subclasses in Xanathar's, which get spells.
• Resource tracking can be an issue, I agree. As I imagined it when I wrote the feature, you kill a creature in your party and then harvest it immediately, so the DM can just pass you the stat sheet used (which would presumably include whatever resources that creature has which have been used already.
• If the cult spell is something that the hobgoblin can innately cast, you can use it. If it's a spell that the hobgoblin was taught how to cast, you can't. I've added a bullet point in the ability clarifying this.
• It still works based off Wild Shape, so you keep your mental stats - you mind doesn't change. You don't get the creature's memory, either. Saying that you transform into the specific creature is meant to specifically allow you to disguise yourself by killing someone and wearing their skin - it's not intended to imply that you get access to its mind.
• I can see the argument for being able to hold onto the skin, but it's intended to be you harvested and donning the skin in the same 1 hour period (and, again, I imagined it being done immediately after killing the creature). I personally would probably allow Gentle Repose to let you delay it, but the skin does need to be kept intact.
• True enough, but it also saves one of the Ranger's sparse spell slots.

Also, I have...

• Added a limit on how many skins you can keep sitting around.
• Added a quick guide for how skinning a beast should work. Basically you make a survival check based on the CR of the beast, and it takes more time based on how large the beast is.
• Also added a size limit for creatures in Monstrous shape, so that you're not spending less time skinning a monster than you might if it was a beast.
• Buffed Thousand Forms a little more to make up for you essentially losing one of the spells you get from the expanded spell list. You can use two of its options at once (this is also a clarification - since it no longer costs concentration it could be argued that you could cast it repeatedly and use all the options at once), and once per rest you can use it to fly for a little bit.

[Crisis21]

Spoiler: Green Knight

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What's this? A third caster that isn't based on Wizard? What blasphemy!
In all seriousness, I think that the fact that the only two third casters are both wizard-based in core was a travesty (when clearly Arcane Trickster should have been Bard).

• Spellcasting: Based on Eldritch Knight I assume, so not much to comment on here. I would have gone with Abjuration over Evocation, but I can see Evocation working.
• Shillelagh: It's fine (maybe a little strong in the higher tiers), though when it's gained it doesn't do a whole lot for the fighter when it is first gained. Their strength will most likely be higher than their wisdom, and improving a club to 1d8 doesn't do much when they can use a warhammer already. It also isn't clear how it interacts when they let go of it. Can other characters use it? Do they replace its attack and damage with their own spellcasting ability or the fighter's? The damage bonus at 5, 11, and 17 does make it worthwhile but also makes it so that every other option progressively gets pushed out (even a greatsword with great weapon fighting has average damage of ~8.2 compared to the level 17 super-shillelagh's 8.5, or 10.5 with duelist).
• Natural Expertise: "You gain Expertise in your chosen proficiencies and add double your proficiency bonus to checks made involving them." is redundant. I would also give the skill proficiency at level 3 alongside Herbalism Kit, then the expertise here as it currently is (getting skill proficiencies past the first level you get your subclass is pretty rare).
• Nature's Serenity: Fine as is. Possibly a little strong for level 10.
• Undying Sentinel: Timeless Body for fighters, with a little Relentless Rage tacked on for seasoning. I like it and the long rest refresh keeps it in check.
• Nature's Armory: I'm okay with every part of it except the multiple objects part. Without an upper limit on items, you could be walking around with permanent +2 weapon, shield, and armor (assuming you can get a suit of non-metal armor), and that weapon does 1d12 as a one-hander. You can even share the benefits by casting it on allies' shields, or leather armor, or making a bone shiv and passing the rogue a +2 dagger that does 1d12 instead of 1d4.

Overall, the class is consistent within a theme, but I feel as though the shillelagh scaling doesn't align with the rest of the power growth (it starts off as a rather minor feature and eventually becomes concerningly powerful).

I'll look into adjusting the proficiency thing again.

As for Shillelagh: It's a Druid cantrip that does not scale with level like some other cantrips (i.e. the damage-dealing ones). It typically has a duration of one minute, but ends early if you release the item.

So I gave it some scaling with level to make it just a bit more viable as a Fighter's go-to cantrip.

Yes, you can deal d12 with a one-handed weapon, but that's at level 17 when most PCs are decked out with some swanky high-tier gear anyway. And, yes, the 18th level feature allows you to cast on multiple things, but if they leave your possession the enchantment wears off after one minute (ten rounds) and you can only enchant one item per round. Yes, +2 on-demand is powerful but at level 18 should not be outshining the rest of the party's magical gear.

[RickAsWritten]

My Ranger - Soulsworn Archetype is up. It's a Ranger that made a pact with a powerful arcane entity in order to survive.

Thanks for hosting the contest, and good luck to everyone that entered; a lot of cool ideas on here.

[Fnissalot]

Spoiler: Relic Grifter

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Someone's got to steal that divine power, right?

• Spellcasting: Okay this is new. It looks like you made some sort of unholy combination of 3.5 and earlier's prepared magic and 5e pact casting. I kinda like it. I don't have a point of comparison for balance but my gut says it's fine.
• Terminology Note: Many of your features still refer to resonating with a relic. This seems to have been replaced in the spellcasting feature with having the relic prepared at some point during editing.
• Swindling Divinity: The final restriction (cannot recreate the relic until you have used a different Swindle Divinity) seems harsh, as it means there's always one relic you're locked out of after you use the feature once. I would put a time restriction (maybe a week) instead that is bypassed by using the feature again. That way the rogue can come out of downtime at full power while their short term play is similar to what you have here.
• Dissonant Prayers and Empty Promises: Besides having entirely too long of a feature name (I kid, I kid), I think that the drawback is perhaps unneeded. It should also clarify whether it means the die result or the total result (die result seems intended, as it would be impossible to trigger on a proficient save otherwise).
• Divine Hustle: Besides the use of resonate instead of prepared, at this level the rogue should have 4 total relics prepared, not 2 (so it should read "none" instead of "neither"), and the trigger requirement therefore becomes a little harsh.
• Relics: They seem fine. They follow a consistent pattern in number and level of spells granted. I will note that a level 19 Relic Grifter has functionally 32 spells to choose from at the start of the day, which is more than double what other 1/3rd casters get, but since they also give up 25% of their list every time they use one spell I think you're okay.

This is definitely the most mechanically original subclass in the thread so far, and for what it's worth that's a pro in by book. I would recommend a wording pass to make the rest of your features match the changes you made to Spellcasting, and softening the drawbacks on already use-limited features.

Thanks for the comments! I read over it and replaced resonating with prepared.

Making swindling Divinity reset over time as well is super smart! Thanks for the idea.

The point of divine hustle is that it gives you a spell slot if you don't have any at the start of a fight. In practice, it can be an extra spell slot a day but only if you spent your others. Battle master and some other classes have similar abilities that lets them regain 1 resources if they are out when you roll initiative. In my opinion, letting you do this more easily or often would give you to many spell slots or too much options.

[nickl_2000]

It's a day later than advertised because yesterday ended up a little more hectic than anticipated, but feedback for everyone!

Spoiler: Enlightened Warrior

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Another one with a great theme. I've always been a sucker for the spiritual-minded weapon user, but for the most part games offer only barehanded (sometimes staff) users in that field.

• Warrior's Wisdom: Full ki progression seems high. As I read the other features, it seems like you've made a lot of this subclass's ki costs higher than what a straight monk would pay for similar features (other than the level 3 abilities). As a way to discourage multiclassing to get extra ki, I suppose this is a solution, but given how deep into this class you have to go to get the really good ones I think a smaller ki pool and cheaper abilities would also work.
• Warrior's Wisdom also doesn't specify that you regain ki on a short rest, which I assume is the case.
• Exploit Weakness: Wording is a little odd. I would put the trigger first, something like: "When you damage an opponent with a weapon attack, you may[...]", and the second clause would read better as "If the triggering attack was a critical hit[...]". Balance-wise I'm on the fence with this feature. It has the potential to really exacerbate Sharpshooter/GWM, but it's on theme and has a resource cost.
• Something out of Nothing: Critical miss isn't a standard rule. "if the attack roll was a natural 1" would be more in-line with PHB phrasing. I like this as a defensive feature that isn't fully Patient Defense.
• Lesser Ki Manipulation: These are all 1st level spells, so I'm not sure why they have different costs here. I get that the utility of something like bless is higher than command, but they are technically valued equally by the game's structure. The cost is also higher than similar monk features (for 2 ki, Way of Shadows gets 2nd level spells, for example).
• Mental Shield's cost is a little high for what it does. Charm and fear effects are pretty uncommon and it has no lasting duration.
• Greater Ki Manipulation: As with Lesser Ki Manipulation, these are all the same spell level, so it's odd to me that they have different costs. They are also quite expensive, even compared to Way of Four Elements (though Four Elements is probably not a good comparison point for ki costs, as it's all over the place).
• Ki Battlefocus: It probably doesn't need to specify remaining ki. It's also arguably the absolute best return on ki investment the subclass gets (invisibility is chump change compared to +wis to damage and AC on the class with the most total ASIs), to the point where after I got this, I would probably never use any other ki-spender besides Exploit Weakness and maybe Something Out of Nothing. With Action Surge 2/SR the action cost is manageable.

Overall, I would cut back the number of ki and the ki costs (especially on the spell-duplicating features). I think you have consistent theme throughout and I think that theme is a good one.

For getting the Ki back on a short rest, it is in there (you gain ki points equal to your fighter level and regain them on a short rest).

Thanks for the wording changes, that does clean it up and read much better. The critical miss wording comes from learning to play D&D in a 3E world, in my mind a roll of 1 will always be a critical miss even if all it does is make you miss now.

My initial thought was half of the fighter level rounded up and cheap Ki costs, so I am going back to that (well actually fighter level/2 + wis mod). It still is a little rife for abuse with taking monk levels, but that should be okay in the end.

As for battle focus. I specified the remaining Ki because you can us "up to" it. So, as a PC if you have 10 Ki available to you, you can choose to only use 5 of them in the battle. I wanted to leave it more flexible for the player than burn them all to get this huge bonus. I do see this as being the primary use of Ki at high levels, but there is still out of combat use for Invisibility, Command, and Suggestion.

[Bloodcloud]

The reason the claw scale, is they become useless if they don’t, a problem the other drift don’t have. I notice totem barbs don’t have perfect symetry on their totem abilities so i figure it’s alright.

English is not my first language so corrections are sure appreciated.

Apotheosis i’m having a bit of trouble on the balancing. Theme wise, i was having a bit of trouble finding cool enough abilities still beast teamed, and moon druid gets the elemental form evetually, so i figured it mirrored that progression.

[WarrentheHero]

I think for the current contest, Something Borrowed, we should really be sure to follow the directive in rule 3 of the contest to clearly state which class these subclasses are for. Reading some of the submissions, it is difficult in some to determine what the actual class is at a first or even second read-through. I think people should consider posting the Main class and Donor class in their submissions, for clarity.

[Fnissalot]

I think for the current contest, Something Borrowed, we should really be sure to follow the directive in rule 3 of the contest to clearly state which class these subclasses are for. Reading some of the submissions, it is difficult in some to determine what the actual class is at a first or even second read-through. I think people should consider posting the Main class and Donor class in their submissions, for clarity.

That is a good point!

[Man_Over_Game]

It's a day later than advertised because yesterday ended up a little more hectic than anticipated, but feedback for everyone!

Spoiler: Path of the Pack Master

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First off I like the theme. The game could use a couple more (functional) pet classes. Now for feature review.

• I think the core pet is fine; which makes sense since it's basically copied from Revised Ranger. Proficiency also good.
• Does Savage Bond still require the material component (a pair of platinum rings worth 50gp each)? Does it still have a range of touch (I assume yes)? Finally, you might want to put a special exception to the rule that barbarians can't cast spells while raging, just to appease the rules-lawyers.
• Predatory Tactics's second benefit is odd on the class that gets Reckless Attack, but honestly I'm okay with it. Barbarian 10 is supposed to be a niche benefit anyway.
• Guardian of the Pack is a good protective feature and optional way to enter rage off turn. How does it work if you are out of rages for the day?

Overall I think the subclass is good, but I'm a little sad there aren't any improvements to the companion itself. It seems like you did it that way to distance it from the Beastmaster itself (which gets nothing but improvements to the animal), but I think a barbarian-oriented animal improvement (such as sharing rage's bonus damage) would be good.

Thanks for taking a look at it!

I wanted to separate the Pack Master as "Beastmaster Ranger with Barbarian levels". It's not "Man and Beast are best friends", but "Man conquers beast through brute strength, beast accepts the Man as leader". It's not about the Beast. It's about the Hunt. It's about the beast following the Alpha, because it is the proper thing to do. The Barbarian rules the pair, and that's how it should be between savage predators. Even something like Savage Bond is entirely decided by the Barbarian, and only provided when the Barbarian Rages. As a result, the Barbarian is the one who takes responsibility for the Pack (through Savage Bond and Guardian of the Pack).

I considered making Guardian of the Pack ignore Rage uses, but SOMEBODY said its writing was too ugly to include (not pointing fingers, YOU KNOW YOU ARE). I'll probably add in a way to make it happen in a bit.

I will probably change Warding Bond to not use Components and to have a Range of 60 feet. I still don't know how to write it in a good way that makes it clear that you can cast it while Raging, without it being overly wordy.

[RickAsWritten]

Any thoughts on the Ranger Soulsworn Archetype? It's got the focus and the feel down, but it's a little bit passive. I'm thinking that it actually might be a little underpowered, especially the 3rd level ability.
I didn't want to give them straight-up Arcane Recovery, but I'm thinking my nerfed version isn't splashy enough compared to the Hordebreakers and Dread Ambushers of the world.