D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

[RickAsWritten]

Swift End Monk, apologies for this one. I'm not against the general concept but I opted to take my own pass at it for comparison's sake.

Spoiler

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Mark of a Swift End. I love marking techniques, I think if this were more like "On a hit you can spend a Ki point to mark a foe for swift end. An ally of your choosing that hits the target before the beginning of your next turn gains a bonus to damage rolls equal to your Proficiency bonus and attacks are criticals on 19-20." or something. This brings it more in line with Hexblade curse and expands its value as you go up in level as a fellow combatant will have more attacks and your bonus increases. Maybe add a bit where you can spend more Ki at higher tiers for more allies to share the benefit.

Follow, I'm not sure I like how this interacts with initiative. I might swap it to "When you spend a Ki point to dash, allies within 30 feet may also use their reaction to dash."

Danger at the Fore. Add a bit about how the association with death brings a limited prescience concerning your own. I really like this as a concept, traps are unloved IMO, but it's very niche. I might set it up as follows.
When you trigger a trap you are unaware of but have not yet suffered the effect or are surprised, you can spend 3 Ki points to have foreseen the trap or ambush a split second ahead of time. The trap remains untriggered or You are not surprised and can act normally.

The End brought about. I would describe this as Cute. I don't like abilities that gamble with other character's lives. I think an awesome spin might be "move adjacent to fallen ally and tick a failed death save for yourself. Your ally gets HP equal to 3x your Monk Level. The next time you are reduced to 0 hp you have already failed that death save. All of the failed death saves accrued in this way are removed after a long rest.

No need to apologize at all. I really like all of those suggestions.

For the Mark, I really want the ability to promote everyone rushing-in to wail on one monster. I'm not sure your suggestion would help with that.

That might be a better option for the level 6 ability. I'm still not happy with that one.

For Danger at the Fore, I prefer the current iteration. The prescience bit is cool, but I like the visual of holding off a rock slide with a projection of your Ki. It's niche, but I didn't want everything to be a combat ability. Plus I've seen some devastating traps in the WotC published works (insta-kills and the like) so while it's niche it's also impactful.

For The End Brought About, I played around with something like that; teleport them out of harms way and heal 'em. I may mess around with that one. I really like the accrued Death Saves idea.

[BerzerkerUnit]

What if danger at the fore were dodging backward through time? It still protects the entire party by not triggering the trap.

[Man_Over_Game]

@BerzerkerUnit
The Marshal is based on the standard Ranger. The Revised Ranger doesn't have many of the features that the Marshal references and modifies to make it compatible.

[Rawrawrawr]

Woot woot, first entry in a subclass contest!

The Demagogue, a domain for the Cleric, is up.

[BerzerkerUnit]

revamped the Invader Rogue to the Rogue Tacticon (Tactical Recon).

[nickl_2000]

Woot woot, first entry in a subclass contest!

The Demagogue, a domain for the Cleric, is up.

Welcome to the party. I will try and take a look tomorrow

[nickl_2000]

Woot woot, first entry in a subclass contest!

The Demagogue, a domain for the Cleric, is up.

Cleric Domain: Demagogue

Orator - I like the re-write of the College of Glamour ability here, and I like that you modified it enough to make it a different ability. You do need to mention what the creature is making a saving throw against (usually against your spell DC). I would steal the last sentence directly from the Glamour Bard.

"This effect ends on a target after 10 minutes, if it takes any damage, if you attack it, or if it witnesses you attacking or damaging any of its allies."


Powers of Personality - This feels like a little much to me. The Knowledge Cleric gets expertise in 2 skills, but it doesn't get another level 1 ability. Also, the Knowledge Cleric focuses on Arcana, History, Nature, and Religion which tend to be lesser used skills than your social skills you have in this ability. I'm not against it, but I would look to lower the power of this ability. Either 1 Prof/Expertise or 1 proficiency and 1 expertise.

Holy Fervor - What happens if you use this ability on someone who is currently charmed/frightened? Does it suppress it for a round? Does it end it? It does feel like a little much to give everything. I think if you remove the double movement speed or charmed/frightened, it would be more balanced.

Fanatical Devotion - You need to mention what they are saving against. Even for a capstone this needs limited some.
1) You need to limit this to only one person at a time (outside of the psychic rider, that seems rare enough). Considering that as written you could literally take over an entire town in a day without any effort, there is a problem.
2) If someone doesn't have protection from evil and good, they get no save? That is a bit broken. I would do it so that everyone gets a save, but protection gives them advantage on the save.


I like the evil leader here, and this would make an excellent evil character or BBEG. There is a lot of really good abilities, and I like that it isn't all combat focused. You do need to look at the overall balance though.

[Vogie]

Updated Aggrogate

Coordinated Attack now costs half the sneak attack dice, rounded down.

The Augury Effect is now available once per short/long rest, similar to AG Barb's Consult the Spirits feature.

Conspire is now an Aid variant, increases current & max hp by 5+Int, so it doesn't step on the toes of the IL feat.

Focus fire just increases the ally attack by 2d6.

[RickAsWritten]

Updated the Swift Monk's level 6 ability:

Spoiler: Follow, Swiftened

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Follow, Swiftened

Starting at 6th level, you hearten and lend speed to your allies. Whenever you use your Step of the Wind ability you can grant a speed bonus to allies that you can see within 30 feet. The chosen individuals gain additional movement equal to half of your Unarmored Movement bonus (rounded up to the nearest 5 feet). The speed boost lasts for one minute, and any ally that is granted the speed bonus has advantage on saving throws to avoid the frightened condition. You may grant this bonus to a number of allies equal to your Wisdom modifier, and must finish a Short Rest before you can use this ability again.

[Nicrosil]

Reviews Part The Second

Spoiler: School of Grey Tactics

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I really like the Battle Secrets! There's enough there that you could make two or three characters that all feel different. That being said though, it feels a bit... much. By 10th level, you have Extra Attack, effectively a better version of an Eldritch Knight's capstone, the ability to use Int for your weapon attacks, and Int based unarmored defense... Also, does Arcane Inspiration use the same rules as Bardic Inspiration? I might be missing something, but right now, it just looks like fuel for Heart Ward. The 14th level ability feels... weird. I guess my main hangup is that the main feature, the resurrection, is one time only.

Spoiler: Monk – Way of the Swift End

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I really like this! It feels like an adrenaline junkie, monk style. I feel like Marked for a Swift End could use some rewording, and maybe a buff as well? Right now, at 3rd level, it's just +1 to attack/damage for one creature against one other creature... Maybe "When you roll initiative, you mark one creature and spend X Ki points. Melee attacks against the marked creature gain a bonus to attack rolls and damage equal to the Ki spent. The mark lasts for 1 minute, or until the target dies. (scaling info here)." Also, you could maybe increase the amount of Ki you can spend at a time, or have the bonus scale with your Martial Arts die somehow? A +3 capstone feels a bit weak IMO. The 6th and 11th level features feel fine, though you may want to clarify what exactly a trap is for the 11th level ability. Maybe just make it any Dex saves, like the Barbarian's Danger Sense? And while I love the idea of punching your ally back to life, the 2 failed death saves on a miss feels a bit out of place. You're level 17 at this point, there are a lot of other, less risky options when it comes to healing, you know?

Spoiler: Ranger subclass: The Marshal

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Interesting! I like how you turned what's normally a ribbon feature into the main focus of the subclass! The mile radius and the hour long duration and the unlimited number of allies that can be effected by this feels a bit much though. As does the 'if one person's proficient everyone's proficient' third level feature. I have similar qualms about the 7th level feature; the bonus to travel pace is fine, but granting proficiency in all saving throws makes me do a double take. No problem with Flanking Tactics, but I think the 11th level feature might be underpowered. Most Ranger subclasses get a pseudo-extra attack at this level; maybe you could targeting a creature with Flanking Tactics a bonus action here? No problem with the 14th level feature either.

Spoiler: Barbarian: Savage Leader

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Solid flavor and solid mechanics! I'm always a fan of Barbarians, and I'd definitely play this given the chance. My only quibble is that the 14th level feature gives you another pool to keep track of, which I feel is unusual for Barbarians, but there's not really a better way to do it I think.

Spoiler: Barbarian Path of the War Chief

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Again, no problems here! I may have a soft spot for Barbarians . You can probably trim down the third level feature, since you can only use Reckless Attack on melee, strength based attacks anyway. I think the wording on the 6th level feature is probably fine? If you wanted to, you could probably replace it with something like a dragon's Frightening Presence ability; it's not a perfect replacement, but still. You could even give proficiency/expertise in intimidation and say you can use intimidation instead of persuasion when trying to avoid combat. All in all though, I'm a fan!

More to come soon.

[MoleMage]

Just a heads up, I made an error when I added the extension. It should have been two weeks and I only added one extra week. I've fixed this in the first post of this and in the contest thread, the last day of the contest should be the 21st as now indicated.

[Phhase]

I felt a bit of edge going into this, so I made a really hack-n-slashy druid circle that steps on Barbarian's toes a bit. I have the distinct feeling it is either keenly over or underpowered. Thoughts?

In other news, I really like how Arrogate's Pre-Mortem expressly rewards getting your heads together and plotting out the battle/heist beforehand (a favorite of mine).

Does Fair one adhere to archetype templates for sorcerer? It's good, but don't let That Guy get his or her grubby hands on them...

College of Professors is short and sweet. Makes perfect sense to me, has good flavor.

Demagogue is hilarious because of the kind of character you have to play - I am a cleric of ME, 'cos I'M A GOD!

[Segev]

I felt a bit of edge going into this, so I made a really hack-n-slashy druid circle that steps on Barbarian's toes a bit. I have the distinct feeling it is either keenly over or underpowered. Thoughts?

My biggest concern when reading through it was that it seemed more focused on being a beat-em-up, and the "follow me" theme felt kind-of tacked on. That's rather true of a lot of them, though, in my opinion.

I think one way to work with it (unless I missed it in your build) would be to give them a class feature that lets them be a pack leader by sharing Wild Shape with allies. When they use it on themselves, a number of willing allies either touching or in close range should be able to transform with them, and operate on the Druid's Concentration. I'd probably put this at their second or third perk-level. (I forget where druid subclass levels come in.)

Does Fair one adhere to archetype templates for sorcerer? It's good, but don't let That Guy get his or her grubby hands on them...

It has its powers come in at the same level as other Sorcerer subclasses. Ironically, it's meant to simulate the object of courtly love, but yes, it definitely can go darkly creepy fast.

[Phhase]

My biggest concern when reading through it was that it seemed more focused on being a beat-em-up, and the "follow me" theme felt kind-of tacked on. That's rather true of a lot of them, though, in my opinion.

I think one way to work with it (unless I missed it in your build) would be to give them a class feature that lets them be a pack leader by sharing Wild Shape with allies. When they use it on themselves, a number of willing allies either touching or in close range should be able to transform with them, and operate on the Druid's Concentration. I'd probably put this at their second or third perk-level. (I forget where druid subclass levels come in.)

I was kind of thinking the same thing about follow-me being tacked on at first, but I kind of felt like the way the healing mechanic works and the tracking and the whole bleed-necromorph thing, the subclass kind of falls into a leadership role organically rather than through any "HEY BY THE WAY I'M A LEADER-TYPE" explicit mechanic. Like, you follow the guy who tracks the enemies, you want to attack the the guy who's blood you can drink to stay alive, you want to stack bleed to exsanguinate as quickly as possible etc. Also, since there are big AoE downsides to Bloodfury, your teammates have to work around your battle agenda (get you spellcasting out of the way quick!).

Of course, this absolutely would be clearer if I could test it, but yanno. Obviously this subclass would work better in some party comps as opposed to others.

I thought about the AoE Wild Shape thing, but, like, would anyone WANT that? For other classes, a wild shape at most levels might be weaker than their normal form. That's part of why I made Bloodfury workable in or our of Wild Shape for the druid. Perhaps if I made the snuggle zone for haste a bit smaller, that would get others to follow you more closely.

[Segev]

What group wild shape would allow is utility, mostly. It would be a level 6+ thing, thus, since the druid doesn't get flying and water-breathing forms until about then, IIRC.

If you REALLY want to beef it up, you could give it half Moon Druid progression to allowable CRs on wild shape, too, but that might honestly be too much.

The "gentle encouragement" style of "do what I am making the path of least resistance" is nifty, though.

[Phhase]

Yeah, it's mostly supposed to be a spiritual Wild Shape, at least until 14th level. Anyone else have pointers or opinions on my entry?

[MoleMage]

At this point, I think I need to admit defeat. I never came up with a satisfying creation for this contest. Don't worry though, we still have a stellar 17 entries, and I should be back on the metaphorical horse next contest. Just under a week left to get your edits in, everyone feeling good?

[Segev]

At this point, I think I need to admit defeat. I never came up with a satisfying creation for this contest. Don't worry though, we still have a stellar 17 entries, and I should be back on the metaphorical horse next contest. Just under a week left to get your edits in, everyone feeling good?

I should probably add some lore or something, though that fluff is often stuff I ignore because it rarely actually even accurately portrays what the class is, instead telling you what the designer thinks sounds cool and is related. Or maybe I'm just cynical about mechanics needing to speak for themselves; I acknowledge it is useful to at least have a blurb saying what you're expected to expect to be playing with a particular subclass.

[Phhase]

At this point, I think I need to admit defeat. I never came up with a satisfying creation for this contest. Don't worry though, we still have a stellar 17 entries, and I should be back on the metaphorical horse next contest. Just under a week left to get your edits in, everyone feeling good?

Hey don't count yourself out yet. I made mine in about an hour, and I think it's ok. You've got time. Who's judging by the way?

Also, any pointers on Circle of Blood?

[RickAsWritten]

Updated the the Way of the Swift End.

Buffed Marked for a Swift End a bit.
Included a clause about saving throws in Danger at the Fore.
Got rid of the universally disliked 2 failed death saves and replaced it with the self-accrued death saving throw. There's probably a better way to phrase that sentence, so if anyone has any suggestions I'd welcome them.

Monk - Way of the Swift End - Revised

[SleeplessWriter]

The Circle of Blood looks pretty interesting, and I do like where you're going with it, but at this point it seems like a lot to keep track of all at once, especially at later levels. You really have to keep track of a lot of attacks with both Primal Fury and Lacerator.
I'm also a little wary of the drawback on Bloodfury at 6 Primal Fury, I'd make it so your allies can choose whether they want all your benefits at the cost of the drawback, that way your spellcaster allies don't get cross with being unable to do their job. Wouldn't want to lose all your best stuff just because your ally is buffing everything you don't use.


Also, on a side note, I'd like to add another possibility to the contest pool: It's Mind! Subclasses based on mental abilities. Whether it's Inception style rogues, psionic monks, or warlocks who've made a deal with their own nightmares to inflict them on other people is entirely up to you.

[MoleMage]

Hey don't count yourself out yet. I made mine in about an hour, and I think it's ok. You've got time. Who's judging by the way?

Also, any pointers on Circle of Blood?

I'm not sure if the "Who's judging" question is a rhetorical for "don't feel bad about missing your submission" or a legitimate question about format, so I'll answer the latter just in case. There aren't judges; instead the contest will go to an open vote for two weeks the day after the deadline. I'll post a link to the voting thread here and in the submission thread, and the rules for voting will be included in the voting thread. Participants are encouraged to vote (whether you voted is the first tie-breaker), but anyone is welcome to.

It looks like it's in an okay place balance wise, but like SleeplessWriter mentions, it's got a lot to track. I will also note that DR X/type doesn't really exist as a format in 5e. You'd have to spell it out ("you reduce all damage taken, other than psychic damage, by 3").

The Circle of Blood looks pretty interesting, and I do like where you're going with it, but at this point it seems like a lot to keep track of all at once, especially at later levels. You really have to keep track of a lot of attacks with both Primal Fury and Lacerator.
I'm also a little wary of the drawback on Bloodfury at 6 Primal Fury, I'd make it so your allies can choose whether they want all your benefits at the cost of the drawback, that way your spellcaster allies don't get cross with being unable to do their job. Wouldn't want to lose all your best stuff just because your ally is buffing everything you don't use.


Also, on a side note, I'd like to add another possibility to the contest pool: It's Mind! Subclasses based on mental abilities. Whether it's Inception style rogues, psionic monks, or warlocks who've made a deal with their own nightmares to inflict them on other people is entirely up to you.

It's Mind! has been added to the future contest ideas pool.

[Phhase]

I'm not sure if the "Who's judging" question is a rhetorical for "don't feel bad about missing your submission" or a legitimate question about format, so I'll answer the latter just in case. There aren't judges; instead the contest will go to an open vote for two weeks the day after the deadline. I'll post a link to the voting thread here and in the submission thread, and the rules for voting will be included in the voting thread. Participants are encouraged to vote (whether you voted is the first tie-breaker), but anyone is welcome to.

It looks like it's in an okay place balance wise, but like SleeplessWriter mentions, it's got a lot to track. I will also note that DR X/type doesn't really exist as a format in 5e. You'd have to spell it out ("you reduce all damage taken, other than psychic damage, by 3").

It was intended as a legitimate format question, but I'll absolutely expand its scope to also encompass your interpretation! Thanks, by the way.

It's true, it's a bit fiddly. I'll do a bit of formatting and see where it is then.

SleeplessWriter:
"I'm also a little wary of the drawback on Bloodfury at 6 Primal Fury, I'd make it so your allies can choose whether they want all your benefits at the cost of the drawback, that way your spellcaster allies don't get cross with being unable to do their job. Wouldn't want to lose all your best stuff just because your ally is buffing everything you don't use"

Being sort of the centerpiece of the party that you have to build around is sort of the point of this subclass, hence it being the de facto leader, as per theme. The idea is that if you want to cast in a Circle of Blood party, A, you play tactically around the aura, B., you get War Caster and cross your fingers, or C., you build so that you can get your casting out of the way in the first few rounds (there is a guaranteed grace period before it becomes hard to cast, not even considering the Druid missing attacks) and then entering the fray yourself. That said, I did kinda just eyeball the aura size, so it might stand to be a BIT smaller, especially since it's supposed to encourage focus fire tactics.

Come to think of it, mind blank would probably prevent one from being affected by the aura.

Also, I've just realized, Circle of Blood has INSANE synergy with Monk, like, Flurry of Blows, oh god oh man. You could stack up Primal Fury REALLY fast. Enemies would bleed out like water balloons. Whoo boy.

I'll definitely look to clean up some of the area stuff though.

Also, how does one properly get multiple quotes?

[Rawrawrawr]

Welcome to the party. I will try and take a look tomorrow

Thanks for the review!

Spoiler: Review response

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Cleric Domain: Demagogue

Orator - I like the re-write of the College of Glamour ability here, and I like that you modified it enough to make it a different ability. You do need to mention what the creature is making a saving throw against (usually against your spell DC). I would steal the last sentence directly from the Glamour Bard.

"This effect ends on a target after 10 minutes, if it takes any damage, if you attack it, or if it witnesses you attacking or damaging any of its allies."

Funnily enough, I completely forgot about the College of Glamour, and actually based it on the College of Whispers level 3 feature :P But that wording is pretty clean, so I grabbed it.

Powers of Personality - This feels like a little much to me. The Knowledge Cleric gets expertise in 2 skills, but it doesn't get another level 1 ability. Also, the Knowledge Cleric focuses on Arcana, History, Nature, and Religion which tend to be lesser used skills than your social skills you have in this ability. I'm not against it, but I would look to lower the power of this ability. Either 1 Prof/Expertise or 1 proficiency and 1 expertise.

Yeah, looking back, giving the ability to get advantage on Charisma checks easily by charming people with expertise in Charisma skills is a bit much, on top of the fact that this is almost strictly better than Lore Cleric 1. I knocked it down to just proficiencies.

Holy Fervor - What happens if you use this ability on someone who is currently charmed/frightened? Does it suppress it for a round? Does it end it? It does feel like a little much to give everything. I think if you remove the double movement speed or charmed/frightened, it would be more balanced.

I see your point on the wording - I changed it to match the Berserker Barbarian 6 feature. I see your point on it giving a lot, but given the fact that it's an action (meaning you're sacrificing an attack or spell, at least), that it's only 1 round, and that it's pretty much the only combat-oriented feature this subclass gets, I think I'll leave it as is for now.

Fanatical Devotion - You need to mention what they are saving against. Even for a capstone this needs limited some.
1) You need to limit this to only one person at a time (outside of the psychic rider, that seems rare enough). Considering that as written you could literally take over an entire town in a day without any effort, there is a problem.
2) If someone doesn't have protection from evil and good, they get no save? That is a bit broken. I would do it so that everyone gets a save, but protection gives them advantage on the save.

1) Again, I see your point, but this is 1: supposed to be not just a major feature, but a *shiny new tier* feature - it's also not the only norm-breaking cleric 17 feature - for example, the Forge Cleric 17 is pretty much the only way to gain perma-immunity to a damage type, Light Cleric 17 gives easily accessed disadvantage on saving throws, etc., and more importantly, 2: starting a cult is supposed to be what this entire subclass is about :P So to me, being able to control multiple people is a pretty important cornerstone of the class (which I did try to limit by basically limiting it to cannon fodder).
2) For an ability that can affect many people who are, by virtue of CR, almost guaranteed to be unimportant background NPCs, I feel like giving too many saving throws grinds the game to halt too much. I did modify it so that they need to be charmed, so it's a little more difficult to set up.

And now, for my own reviews, which should be finished tomorrow (sorry if they came a bit late in the competition):

Spoiler: Oath of Royalty

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Channel Divinity: A choice of two simple and effective options: a more offensive one, and a more... retreat-y? one. I like it.
Aura of Leadership: Interesting. Paladins don't gain any extra skills, so this feels like it might be a bit limited (especially compared to the powerful auras of other oaths at this level). Still, cool to see a non-combat oriented aura.
King's Touch: Very powerful. Still, compared to say, OotA 7, this doesn't seem overpowered for a Paladin's Oath.
Divine Right: Some of these bonuses feel a little small and fiddly, which 5e tries to get away from. I'd try to condense this into 2 or 3 more powerful bullet points.
Overall: It's got slightly weird power curve compared to other Paladin Oaths, who normally get their most powerful feature at 7, so it worries me a little bit that someone taking this subclass has to wait until 15 to get their most powerful ability. That said, while the power curve's a little weird, it doesn't seem overpowered, so it's probably fine.

Spoiler: Domain of Middle Management

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Reaching Out and Employee Empowerment: These seem like a revamped Light domain 1 (free cantrip, free advantage instead of disadvantage). Fits the theme, and seems okay.
Increasing your bandwidth: Action Surge+. I'm... not a fan of that. As a Fighter 2nd feature, that implies it's a powerful, tentpole feature for the Fighter (getting a second use is literally considered powerful enough to be the ability for the Fighter's entrance into the last tier), so it seems too powerful to include in a subclass as-is. Plus, whereas a Fighter has a hard time doing the most abusive things with a free action, it's easy for you to give it to, say, the Wizard and let them cast an 8th and 9th level spell in the same turn. And as a final twist of the knife, the Cleric gets three uses of this ability by 18, while the Fighter literally just got their second use a level ago.
Overall, I'd say this is overpowered - there should be limitations on what the extra action can do, a la Haste or something.
You are mission critical: This is also feels overtuned. Short rest healing is powerful, off-action healing is powerful (just look at how valuable people consider Healing Word and Mass Healing Word, and those prevent you from casting a spell as an action, and also only heal 1d4 + Wis), and it's a lot of hit points. You're arguably as good as healing as Life Cleric until level 17, and their entire schtick is healing. To keep the "save a person from 0" ability, I'd cut down on it's uses somehow (like limited times per day instead of a Channel Divinity, or once per person, or something), and cut back the healing significantly.
Promotion: In the opposite vein, this seems like it could be buffed :P This is nifty, but Cleric 17 features are usually pretty big.
Overall: I really like the theme, and I think it's a nice addition to the contest, but I just think it needs to be toned down a bit.

Spoiler: College of the Pied Piper

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Bonus Proficiencies and Charming Song: So, most Bards get two features at level 3, and this subclass only really gets one - the Bonus Proficiencies are more of a ribbon. Most bards also get another use for Bardic Inspiration at 3, so another 3 feature using Inspiration would be work nicely. Also, Colleges usually give something that can be used more often that 1/long rest, so my suggestion would be to fiddle with Charming Song until it could be 1/short rest.
Musical Expertise and Song of Rage: Musical expertise is a neat ribbon. I'm iffy about Song of Rage using the same source as Charming Song. Glamour and Whisper Bards get abilities that require a rest recharge at this level too, but they gain their own uses separate to that of their 3 features. I'd just let Song of Rage have it's own 1 or 2/long rest recharge.
Pie the Piper: It's a powerful and cool ability that ties into your previous ribbons. I like it.
Overall: The pied piper theme is a really cool idea that fits the Bard and the contest really well. That said, I think this subclass needs more uses of its abilities. Until level 14, it feels like you use its abilities once or twice, and then you basically don't have a subclass until the next day.

Spoiler: School of Grey Tactics

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Rallying Spell: Simple, to the point. A nice ability.
Battle Secrets: That is a lot of options - probably a few too many for a subclass, and a few of them overlap (e.g., add proficiency to Initiative, and use Intelligence for Initiative, or use any weapon as a focus, and use the quarterstaff as a focus with a slight increase to damage). They're also all pretty major abilities, so it seems like overkill to get so many, in addition to other features. Compare that to, say, the Battle Master, which gets a lot of major options, but the entire subclass is basically geared around those options, without gaining too many other abilities. Or most other gish subclasses, which get Extra Attack at 6th, and not much else, while you can get that and a bunch of the Bard.
Arcane Inspiration: I'd reiterate what an inspiration die is, exactly, or at least refer people to the Bard. Also, you can do this more times per day than a Bard, and this is supposed to be a class-defining feature for the Bard. On top of that, you can essentially give them an Inspiration Die and an Aid Another at the same time, which is more than the Bard can do. And you get another Battle Secret on top of that. I'd definitely recommend trimming this back a bit.
Greater Inspiration: Two more Battle Secrets is a lot, especially with an improvement on the Inspiration Die.
Chromatic Metamorphosis: The first part kinda sends you into a death spiral - if you're already hitting 0 hit points, the fight's probably not going so well - which would be the exact worst time to lose all your spells. I think you can remove that part, and it'd still be fine. Other than that, this is nifty - it's dripping with flavor, but it's not too powerful, so getting an extra Battle Secret on top of that doesn't feel like overkill.
Overall: This subclass feels like it's being pulled in too many directions - it has many Battle Secrets, and two separate buffs that you can use when you cast a spell on an ally, and a capstone that doesn't really fit into either. You also gain a lot of features. I'd trim the subclass to focus on one or two things, and cut back on what you get.

Spoiler: Way of the Swift End

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First to the Fray and Marked for a Swift End: I like it. First to the Fray mixes well with your Marked for a Swift End. The bonuses to attack rolls get pretty big, but then again, you're spending a lot of ki to do that to one creature, so it seems okay.
Follow, Swiftened: A good mobility boost to follow up your mark. It's a neat ability that mixes well with your other abilities.
Danger at the Fore: This is niche, and is 1/long rests, and costs 3 ki. I feel like at least one of those limitations can go. This is also a bit underwhelming for a Monk's major "enter a new tier" ability, compared to say, at-will invisibility or constant sanctuary. On the other hand, the bonus to attack rolls from your mark can get pretty significant at this level, so it might be okay.
The End Brought About: This is really complicated, and it feels like it doesn't have to be, but other than that it seems fine. It does feel a little out of tone with the rest of the class (this is a defensive feature that involves retreating, while the rest of the subclass is very offensive and focuses on advancing), but that's not a dealbreaker.
Overall: The first couple of features are really simple and combo well, which I like. The later features get very niche and complicated, which I like less. Overall though, I like how different parts synergize, which makes this subclass feel like more than the sum of its parts.

Spoiler: The Marshal

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Tactical Awareness: A cool way to use primeval awareness. I like it.
Flanking Tactics: This feels pretty unique, yet effective.
Strategic Regrouping: Proficiency in all saving throws for 10 minutes is really strong, but it's 1/long rest, so it's probably fine? Maybe cut it down to 1 minute?
Stalker Veteran: I like sharing Hide in Plain Sight, but figuring out how to adjudicate knowing the location of many creatures in 1 mile seems... complicated.
Marshal's Command: So does this mean you can give your allies Hunter's Mark? I feel like the exact interaction could be elaborated on.
Overall: It's a cool use of an underused Ranger ability, with some unique-feeling features.

[Phhase]

Added a little formatting to Circle of Blood. Voting soon?

[Nicrosil]

Oh shoot, last minute feedback!

Spoiler: Fighter Martial Archetype: The Warlord

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It's like a Bannerette, done right! I like that you get more features of Second Wind and Indomitable, so you're free to use them to help your allies, which is the main problem with the Bannerette, IMO.

Spoiler: Sorcerer Archetype: The Fair One

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Very interesting! Like the Pied Piper College, I feel like in the hands of a creative player and a permissive DM, this can easily break the game. That being said, without being cheesy, this looks like a lot of fun. I especially like that you get a do-over for botched roleplay by spending a sorcery point.

Spoiler: Roguish Archetype: Arrogate

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I like this a lot! Especially the 9th level feature; I love giving martial characters divination style abilities. I would definitely play one of these!

Spoiler: Ranger Archetype: Wild Guide

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Very nice! It's like a Beastmaster, but revamped! I would maybe cut Timid and make the Bravery Advanced Training give them advantage on charm/fear saves while in sight of you, though. Other than that, no complaints!

Spoiler: Rogue Archetype: Tacticon (Tactical Recon)

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I really like this! Vantage points are a really unique and flavorful, and again, I always love giving martial characters divination spells.

Spoiler: Cleric Domain: Demagogue

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You've weaponized monologuing! This is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. I love it!

Spoiler: Druid Circle: Circle of Blood

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Interesting flavor! The 2nd level ability could use some work though; a lot of those spells are already on the druid list, and a lot of them are third level. Magic Fang and Greater Magic Fang don't even exist in 5th edition, nor does the Carcass Eater. The Primal Fury points are very interesting, as is the bleed effect, though you could probably introduce them earlier on, and spread out the abilities more.

Spoiler: Fighter Martial Archetype: The Knight

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Very nice! The wording on Commanding Strike is a bit weird, but no real complaints! I would definitely play one given the chance!

[Phhase]

Oh shoot, last minute feedback!

Interesting flavor! The 2nd level ability could use some work though; a lot of those spells are already on the druid list, and a lot of them are third level. Magic Fang and Greater Magic Fang don't even exist in 5th edition, nor does the Carcass Eater. The Primal Fury points are very interesting, as is the bleed effect, though you could probably introduce them earlier on, and spread out the abilities more.[/SPOILER]

Thanks for your kind help!

I know they aren't 5e spells or monsters, but I guess I'm just suggesting adapting them for this class. They fit IMO. For the 2nd level ability, I'm just trying to facilitate the hunting party feel without having to spend spellslots or extra time. Though you're surely right, it's a little backloaded. I think I will flatten the power curve a little.

[MoleMage]

Added a little formatting to Circle of Blood. Voting soon?

Voting thread goes up tomorrow morning. Today is the last day for edits.

[MoleMage]

Voting thread is up!

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...7#post24045977

Remember, voting is the first tiebreaker in the event of a tie. Make sure to vote so you don't lose out on a close race in the end!

[nickl_2000]

Voting thread is up!

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...7#post24045977

Remember, voting is the first tiebreaker in the event of a tie. Make sure to vote so you don't lose out on a close race in the end!

Cool, I will get my vote in next week when I am back in town.