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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Apr 2007

    Default Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    I've been working on this for a few days now, and I thought I might solicit some feedback. I'm interested in making new vestiges that aren't either humans, elves, or demons/fallen angels, so I thought I might try a warforged.

    I'm still working on its Vestige Level and Binding DC, as well as its "Aspect of the Forged" ability.

    Colossus, Hero of the Forged

    5th Level, Binding DC 30

    Legend:


    Colossus began life as a warforged designed to command and repair an entire division of mechanical warriors during the Last War. Built for strength and intelligence, Colossus was one of the few to receive rudimentary magical training – enough to repair his comrades without tools and to create weapons from fallen enemies. He did both with distinction during his time on the battlegrounds of Khorvaire, his skills lending themselves to his extraordinary longevity. By the signing of the Treaty of Thronehold, Colossus was in his thirty-third year.

    As a result of his long life, the once unassuming soldier began to learn how humans thought and how human society functioned. The end of overt hostilities still surprised Colossus, but he adapted quickly to the switch from ceaseless conflict to peacetime reconstruction. Larger than other warforged and gifted with the ability to reconstruct his brethren, the metallic soldier became something of a leader amidst the confusion. His careful study of human culture made it a bit easier for Colossus and his group to find work rebuilding the shattered cities.

    His dedication to his work earned him the grudging admiration of his taskmasters, and through time, Colossus and his crew were rewarded with ever more prestigious jobs. Ultimately, he wound up in the Flamekeep, the capital of Thrane, performing maintenance on the Church of the Silver Flame. There, he became intrigued to find that many humans were capable of repairing machines through their touch alone, and even more puzzling, some were even able to reconstruct injured humans. Colossus became obsessed by this revelation, and while his work remained solid, both his comrades and his overseers could tell that something was wrong. It was entirely by chance that Jaela Daran overheard the warforged’s attempt to put his concerns to words. Unsettled, she commanded Colossus to follow her, and together they traveled to the Voice of the Silver Flame. They remained there for sixteen hours before emerging silently.

    To this day, nobody knows what was discussed behind those closed doors, but a simple silent gesture shocked the entire nation of Thrane. Colossus now wore a holy symbol of the Silver Flame. As word spread of the warforged’s conversion, tempers flared in the nation that considered the former soldiers to be bereft of souls. Several days after his communion with the Voice of the Silver Flame, Colossus was set upon by an angry mob. Though he fought valiantly, he was unable to fend off their onslaught. As he slipped from consciousness, Colossus told his attackers that the question of whether warforged had souls would soon be answered.

    Following the death of Colossus, his work crew dropped their tools, collected the shattered body of their comrade, and solemnly left Flamekeep for the Mournland to the southeast. Rumors circulate that his followers labor ceaselessly to create a body sufficiently magnificent for their fallen hero. The spirit of Colossus thus waits patiently in the void to be called back to glorious service.

    Special Requirements:

    To summon Colossus, you must place a silver holy symbol of The Church of the Silver Flame (or of a lawful good deity if the Church of the Silver Flame does not exist in your setting) within his seal. This item disappears, but is returned when the binding to Colossus ends. Additionally, you must possess at least 5 ranks in any Craft skill involving the use of metal or stone. Finally, Colossus cannot tolerate the presence of Acererack or Tenebrous, and will not answer your call if you are already bound to these vestiges, or have been bound to one of them in the past three days. Likewise, you cannot bind to either Acererack or Tenebrous is you are already bound to Colossus.

    Manifestation:

    As the ritual incantations are completed, the holy symbol begins to rise above Colossus’s seal. An impossibly tall man of about thirty-five years with silver hair appears at the far side of the seal and begins to walk purposefully forward to obtain the holy symbol. As he moves, his form appears to flicker between that of a human and that of a silvery warforged. When he has secured the holy symbol around his neck, Colossus speaks politely and patiently, though his voice occasionally takes on a mechanized, monotone quality.

    Sign:

    Your torso and legs are surrounded by metallic plating. While this plating appears to be ordinary armor, it cannot be removed, and it offers no protection. You may continue to equip items normally, including armor, though such items disappear beneath Colossus’s sign. Your eyes also adopt a silvery color, and you do not blink.

    Influence:

    You become very upset when presented with an opportunity to do evil, or when evil acts are committed in your presence. You must not commit an evil act, and you must attempt to dissuade others of performing them. Additionally, Colossus insists that you do not attack any construct or mechanical object unless you or your allies are threatened by it, and you must attempt to fix or reconstruct any damaged construct or mechanical object you encounter.

    Granted Abilities:

    Colossus grants his summoners the powers of a warforged, prowess on the battlefield, and the ability to reshape metal and stone.

    Aspect of the Forged: You gain the features of the Living Construct type and subtype. If you are a Warforged, you instead gain the benefits of the Improved Fortification feat.

    Power Overwhelming: As a standard action, you increase your size one category. This functions as the Expansion power, for a number of rounds equal to your effective binder level, except that you gain a size bonus to Strength equal to half your effective binder level (instead of +2). Once this effect ends, you may not use this ability for 5 rounds.

    Mighty Guard: You gain a dodge bonus to your armor class equal to half your Strength modifier.

    Purity of Strength: You are immune to any Strength penalties, as well as Strength ability damage and drain.

    Power Forged: When making a Craft check involving metal or stone, you may use your Strength modifier in place of your Intelligence modifier.

    Great Creator: As a full round action, you may duplicate the effects of a Make Whole, Repair Critical Damage, or Fabricate spell with a caster level equal to your effective binder level. You may use this ability only once every 5 rounds.
    Last edited by Xaros; 2007-09-11 at 10:04 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Gralamin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    What, No gaining metal skin?

    It looks very very good.

  3. - Top - End - #3
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    Kai-Palin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    I like it. Its very good to finally see some vestiges that aren't either overtly evil or extremely strange/creepy.

    I think the sign should be toned down a little bit. In campaigns where binders, regardless of alignment, are persecuted, the fact that the signs of their bound vestiges are still mostly innocuous is a boon. So maybe instead of looking like the character has bound armor plates to its body, its eyes glow as a warforged's do, its skin feels metallic and makes a ringing sound when hit, and the character doesn't blink or bleed, but he/she doesn't necessarily look like metal.

    As for what to do with "Aspect of the Forged," if it is still up for review, I think you could just combine it with "Purity of Strength." Forgive me for not being expert in the mechanics of vestiges, but that type of benefit, the ones that don't seem to need activation, are constant, correct?

    Finally, it seems to me that the end aspect of the fluff should be evident somewhere in your crunch. Maybe the "Great Creator" could be renamed "Great Restorer" or "Great Repairer" and allow the user to cast Make Whole, Repair Critical Damage, or Cure Moderate Wounds. Adding this and/ or changing an ability to reflect the combination of repair and religious devotion (Str bonus instead of Wis on Will saves or some such) might give more flavor to the vestige.

    Thanks, Shades of Gray, for the avatar!

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gralamin View Post
    What, No gaining metal skin?

    It looks very very good.
    Thanks. I didn't want to make the sign too obvious, though - I can imagine how well that would go over in a society that persecuted both warforged and binders! Yow!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kai-Palin View Post
    I like it. Its very good to finally see some vestiges that aren't either overtly evil or extremely strange/creepy.
    That was really the inspiration for the whole thing. I'm exhausted trying to find vestiges that a good (not to mention a lawful good) binder might feel comfortable summoning.

    I think the sign should be toned down a little bit. In campaigns where binders, regardless of alignment, are persecuted, the fact that the signs of their bound vestiges are still mostly innocuous is a boon. So maybe instead of looking like the character has bound armor plates to its body, its eyes glow as a warforged's do, its skin feels metallic and makes a ringing sound when hit, and the character doesn't blink or bleed, but he/she doesn't necessarily look like metal.
    Believe it or not, I originally had the entire body turn to metal. I realized that not only would that be incredibly obvious, but that pseudo-armor would be shrugged off, especially for an adventurer. The eyes don't have to glow like a Daylight spell (though I could make a case for flashing for a second when using one of Colossus's abilities - but this is entirely fluffy on my part).

    In reading the Tome of Magic, I have noticed that higher level vestiges tend to have more blatant signs. Of the fifth level ones, Acererak converts one of your teeth into a gem, Balam alters your voice, Dantalion puts a face on your torso (!), Geryon gives you devilish eyes (and two extra ones), and Otiax makes you appear to be emitting fog.

    That said, I like your suggestions too.

    As for what to do with "Aspect of the Forged," if it is still up for review, I think you could just combine it with "Purity of Strength." Forgive me for not being expert in the mechanics of vestiges, but that type of benefit, the ones that don't seem to need activation, are constant, correct?
    You are correct. Aspect of the Forged, Mighty Guard, Purity of Strength, and Power Forged are continuously active.

    Did you mean that I should eliminate one of the abilities you mentioned, or that I should just combine their entries? I admit to being partial to their separation only because one is changing (adding?) to the binder's type and subtype while the other is dealing with ability score modifiers. I worry that putting them together would be distracting.

    Finally, it seems to me that the end aspect of the fluff should be evident somewhere in your crunch. Maybe the "Great Creator" could be renamed "Great Restorer" or "Great Repairer" and allow the user to cast Make Whole, Repair Critical Damage, or Cure Moderate Wounds. Adding this and/ or changing an ability to reflect the combination of repair and religious devotion (Str bonus instead of Wis on Will saves or some such) might give more flavor to the vestige.
    I wrestled with this one for some time. Ultimately, I decided against any of the Cure [X] Wounds series because Buer, a level 4 vestige, deals with healing, and a Cure Moderate would actually eclipse one of her abilities entirely while being only part of one of Colossus's abilities. That's the crunch reason for that decision.

    In terms of the fluff, I actually see the religious conversion to be a minor point in his evolution. That and it's tough to get into the mind of a warforged. I imagine that Colossus would have spent his life building and tearing apart other warforged (hence Fabricate) and beating the crap out of things on the battlefield (hence his combat abilities). I had considered extending Mighty Guard to saving throws (as a sacred bonus), but I couldn't reconcile physical power improving one's willpower.

    It's likely that I handled the religion aspect of the story in an entirely ham-fisted way, though reading the legend again, it looks to me like I was trying to tell a story more about warforged life than about one specific warforged. I laugh inwardly when I imagine Colossus just waiting patiently to return to existence, not really aware of the passage of time, and that he comes to binders simply because he wants something to do while he waits - just like nearly every other warforged would do in his situation.

    Keep the feedback coming, especially if I disagree. That's how I get better, after all.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    Reminds me of futurama...
    My Deviantart, Please enjoy it.
    Invincible Maiden Avatar by GryffonDurime.

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    Homebrew by Krimm Blackleaf


  6. - Top - End - #6
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Gralamin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    Quote Originally Posted by Xaros View Post
    Thanks. I didn't want to make the sign too obvious, though - I can imagine how well that would go over in a society that persecuted both warforged and binders! Yow!



    That was really the inspiration for the whole thing. I'm exhausted trying to find vestiges that a good (not to mention a lawful good) binder might feel comfortable summoning.



    Believe it or not, I originally had the entire body turn to metal. I realized that not only would that be incredibly obvious, but that pseudo-armor would be shrugged off, especially for an adventurer. The eyes don't have to glow like a Daylight spell (though I could make a case for flashing for a second when using one of Colossus's abilities - but this is entirely fluffy on my part).
    Oh come on, Theres obviously no Similarities between these two :
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    In reading the Tome of Magic, I have noticed that higher level vestiges tend to have more blatant signs. Of the fifth level ones, Acererak converts one of your teeth into a gem, Balam alters your voice, Dantalion puts a face on your torso (!), Geryon gives you devilish eyes (and two extra ones), and Otiax makes you appear to be emitting fog.

    That said, I like your suggestions too.
    Very Very True.

    You are correct. Aspect of the Forged, Mighty Guard, Purity of Strength, and Power Forged are continuously active.

    Did you mean that I should eliminate one of the abilities you mentioned, or that I should just combine their entries? I admit to being partial to their separation only because one is changing (adding?) to the binder's type and subtype while the other is dealing with ability score modifiers. I worry that putting them together would be distracting.
    Not Necessarily.

    I wrestled with this one for some time. Ultimately, I decided against any of the Cure [X] Wounds series because Buer, a level 4 vestige, deals with healing, and a Cure Moderate would actually eclipse one of her abilities entirely while being only part of one of Colossus's abilities. That's the crunch reason for that decision.
    Good choice.

    In terms of the fluff, I actually see the religious conversion to be a minor point in his evolution. That and it's tough to get into the mind of a warforged. I imagine that Colossus would have spent his life building and tearing apart other warforged (hence Fabricate) and beating the crap out of things on the battlefield (hence his combat abilities). I had considered extending Mighty Guard to saving throws (as a sacred bonus), but I couldn't reconcile physical power improving one's willpower.
    And Neither can Barbarain's, so I agree with you.

    It's likely that I handled the religion aspect of the story in an entirely ham-fisted way, though reading the legend again, it looks to me like I was trying to tell a story more about warforged life than about one specific warforged. I laugh inwardly when I imagine Colossus just waiting patiently to return to existence, not really aware of the passage of time, and that he comes to binders simply because he wants something to do while he waits - just like nearly every other warforged would do in his situation.
    True.

    Keep the feedback coming, especially if I disagree. That's how I get better, after all.
    I've yet to see anything to disagree with.
    Last edited by Gralamin; 2007-09-08 at 10:36 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Colossus, Hero of the Forged [Vestige]

    Updated version:

    Aspect of the Forged was modified to include the benefits of Improved Fortification if the binder was already a warforged.

    Power Overwhelming was modified to relate its ability to that of the Expansion power, whose duration is also in rounds per level (rather than Enlarge Person, whose duration is in minutes per level). I reworked the last sentence to indicate that Power Overwhelming cannot be used for five rounds after its effects end, rather than when the binder returns to normal size. For all I know, there could be many size-altering effects active on the binder when Power Overwhelming ends.

    I am working on a Tooth of Dahlver-Nar for Colossus, though I'm still unclear on what its powers should be. I was thinking of an ability that allows sneak attacks and critical hits against constructs.

    As always, comments are encouraged.

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