Wish Granting on a Budget

[ChaoticHarmony]

Here's a travel route guide which instead uses boat, and train, and cars to get to indonesia instead. It's a lot more expensive though, and i can't afford it but hey where there's a will there's a way!

I wish for a game of go fish.

I can't afford cards, would you be up for a game of tag instead?

I wish that the misconceptions about chaos would be proven wrong

[redjinx]

Yeah, talk to Ian Malcolm about that. What, wrong kind of chaos? Well, we can't afford a second wish.

I wish for a unicorn.

[Crisis21]

Hold on a moment, I need to let the glue holding this paper mache horn to the stick horse dry.

...what? The toy store was out of the unicorn ones.



I wish to be the star of my own harem comedy.

[Luftwaffle]

Hold on a moment, I need to let the glue holding this paper mache horn to the stick horse dry.

...what? The toy store was out of the unicorn ones.



I wish to be the star of my own harem comedy.

Sorry, we couldn't afford good voices. They all sound like Fran Drescher!
While we're at it, I'd like to be a pokemon master.

[Some Android]

While we're at it, I'd like to be a pokemon master.

Here's a Magic Karp that will never evolve. Have fun with that.

I wish it could rain candy all day every day!

[ChaoticHarmony]

Here is a bag of Skittles, so now you can taste the rainbow.

I wish the next thing I wish for is super cheap

[Crisis21]

I can get you a Wish for a speck of dust so long as you make it in a different thread.


I wish I had a never-ending supply of pizza.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Now, you might think that this pizza-less cardboard box is the supply, joking hilariously that it has neither an end nor a beginning. However, I've made the extra effort to scrawl a simple recipe on the lid, so the real joke is that the pizza was inside you all along.

I wish for a round-trip vacation to India.

[redjinx]

Here's a round-trip vacation to Indianapolis.

I wish for a new computer.

[Some Android]

I wish for a new computer.

I can give you the "Q" key from an old keyboard.

I wish I could travel the world.

[farothel]

What's holding you back? Just start walking in one direction. Don't forget to stop and take a boat or something when you arrive at water.

I wish I had a brand new car.

[Crisis21]

Well, that's simple enough. Here you go:




I wish for a giant robot.

[braveheart]

One VHS of the iron giant coming right up... You do have a VCR right?



I wish I had a genie with a bigger budget.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Oh, are you saying you have money you wish to donate? That's nice of you! We're not exactly a registered charity, but Deborah can always use it to refill the office candy jar.

I wish for a new shower head.

[Xanyo]

Here you go! Well, if by "shower head" you meant "something that water can shower out of," and you're using a very liberal definition of new. But hey! Shower head!

I wish for antigravity boots.

[braveheart]

Here are some moon shoes



I wish for a gourmet lunch

[Crisis21]

I have a coupon for a free combo meal at McDonalds if you want it.



I wish to pilot a giant robot.

[farothel]

R2D2 is considered a giant amongst the droids due to what he did. Here is a radio-controlled R2 unit.

I wish to get a Ph.D.

[jwhouk]

I wish to get a Ph.D.

Hands you a bag full of "poop" emoji pillows, piled higher and deeper.



I wish for new Tesla.

[redjinx]

I'll give you gas money for when you get one. What? No, you can't have a battery. What would you even need that... oh.

I wish for a gold statue of myself.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted!

Spoiler: Image

Show

I wish for a nice house to live in!

[Crisis21]

Here you go, one house with a nice two bedroom setup.




I wish I could walk through walls.

[Bucky]

I happen to have a wonderful device for doing exactly that; it's called a "door". Here, you can use it too.

I wish for a theater sized flat-screen TV.

[Some Android]

I wish for a theater sized flat-screen TV.

I can only give you part of the cardboard box one can in.

I wish I could be alive in the year 2525 because I like that song.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! Kinda! Here's a digital copy of the 2525 calendar. It should be valid on any year that begins on a Monday, unless it's a leap year. As such, you can repeat this trick to live in 2525 for about one year in every ten. Hooray!

I wish for a soda fountain.

[Crisis21]

I have a can of diet coke if you want it.


I wish I was a wizard.

[super345]

Sorry man, all I have is a halloween wizard costume and a plastic wand that makes magic sounds.

I wish for immortality.

[redjinx]

I can only afford nine letters, so how does mortality sound to you?

I wish for a private jet.

[Warchon]

I can only afford nine letters too, so how does a private et sound to you?
(Confused? 'Et' is a legitimate past tense of 'eat.' Let's both hope you just witnessed the death of a military recruit, the alternative sounds quite painful)

I wish the moon would just get fed up with us and leave.

[ChaoticHarmony]

I got this grumpy old man to moon you before storming off, I hope you appreciate it.

I wish to be my opposite