What's Left of the MagCave II: We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story

[Halae]

[MagCave Foyer]

"Great!" Kathy says with a broad grin, "I'm looking forward to this! I may be enjoying the cybershop, but I've been feeling the itch to wreak some havoc for a while," Her massive metal frame will proceed to enclose Magtok in a hug before she pulls away, "Thanks, Dad! I'll go see what can be done at VIGIL. Talk to you soon!"

And unless Magtok stops her, she'll head towards the entrance, intent on flying away to the floating island of VIGIL to see about negotiating a place for a bunch of ex-slaves to hole up.

[Murkus]

[Boozatorium]

"Someone had a few more since I left," Fettina teases, a sly look crossing her face. She looks almost ditzy as she lolls her head to one side and chit-chats with Dena. "Don't worry, I'll put you on speaker," and she does so quick enough that Dena hears Mags' reply.

"Did you hear that Dena?!" Fettina positively squeals as they walk. "Tina Tequila! Oh hell yes! And oh, yeah, congratulations!" Her voice drops into a silly whisper. "I wonder if he did that just by looking at you. Maybe that's what the eye really does."

[Shadowcaller]

[Boozatorium]

Dena makes a 'tsk' sound in reaction to Tina's first comment but then directs her full attention to the cyborg and his grand prophecy.
"Magtok! You can't tell me my snake is pregnant without telling how maybe babies! I need to sew tiny snek-hirts for them!" Dena calls through the speaker. "And what's a Tina Tequila made of? Your almighty eye gotta know!"

She then lowers her tone to the same level as Tina's once she replies to her 'whisper'. "Then I'd be pregnant too. He spent more time looking at my boobs than the snakes you know."

[Lord Magtok]

MagCave Foyer

Magtok waves as Kathy leaves, but doesn't really have anything else to say. He's just glad that in the span of a day, he's gotten Kathy from hiding her identity away from him to saying goodbye with a hug. He didn't resort to a single dirty, manipulative trick, either! Maybe he's not the worst dad in the entire Nexus after all.

Boozatorium

Magtok presses his palm into his forehead. He's definitely going to need an extra drink or two of his own now that Dena's being brought into this.

"Dena, you are six foot two, your snakes are not at eye level. That is the only reason why I looked there more," he protests. The cyborg's apparently capable of identifying someone's height just by looking at them, huh. Maybe that's his eye's true power?

"Anyway, I'm safe and alive and nobody even tried to assassinate me on the way home, so I guess Tina's just better at this mercenary thing than you?" That's right, turn them against one another. Divide and conquer while Magtok gets to work on figuring out what a Tina Tequila actually is. Tequila and blue curacao, maybe? She seems like the type who'd want her drink to be a weird shade of blue. Plus I think there's some pictures on someone's Nexagram that depict someone named Tina who had blue skin, and maybe that's an earlier version of her? Probably her. I'd be willing to bet five bucks it's her. We'll throw in the blue curacao, and apologize later if we're wrong.

[Murkus]

Boozatorium

"Ooooohh, do you think he has a thing for you?" Fettina's voice takes on a conspiratorial tone, despite still being loud enough for Mags to hear. "Should I set you guys up? I can totally set you guys up. Magtok!" She calls like he isn't right there. "How's like, seven on Friday work for you? You guys can mix business with pleasure."

[Shadowcaller]

Boozatorium

"I dunnnnno, Tina. He just insulted my boobs. I think. Besides, he haaaates the snakes. I can tell. They're not nearly as sexy as cat ears. Ain't that right, Mags?!" The gorgon calls out, seemingly ignoring Magtok's question. "And you think I'm working tonight? I'm boozing tonight! All work related questions will be refered to Tina Tequila, my associate." The sound of Dena taking a sip of liquid can be heard.

[Lord Magtok]

Boozatorium The Wine Cave

"I don't hate the snakes, I just have a healthy respect for dangerous animals that could sink two-inch fangs into my face," Magtok objects, curiously avoiding every single other question aimed his way. Too busy pressing his face into his palm and trying to figure out a way to escape this dreadful nightmare, I imagine.

[Murkus]

[The Wine Cave]

"Hey, okay! I like the sound of that!" Tina Tequila. "I've had a couple nicknames since I turned from a girl into a woman. That's probably one of the less bawdy ones."

"You hear that, Dena? Healthy respect. You two are off to a wonderful start," Tina surmises with a nod.

"So, Mags, where are we going now?"

[Shadowcaller]

[The Wine Cave]

"My snakes are nice. Haven't hurt anyone. It's my eyes that are dumb." Dena declares confidently. "But yeah, if you play match-maker, Tina Tequila, I'm all for it. But where are you going now? Since I should probably have closed this call a while ago." She giggles to herself.

[Lord Magtok]

The Wine Cave => The Living Room

"Us? We're all going straight to hell, obviously," Magtok points out, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and hardly even worth mentioning aloud. "You wanted to get wasted and watch TV first, though, so the living room's right over this way," he adds, pointing to a portal he just opened in a wall, leading to a large room with a predictably massive flatscreen tv, as well as a suspiciously large number of couches and videogame consoles behind it. Is that a VR headset in the pile? Over there, is that the Nintendo Playstation prototype? That Playstation has no games; why would Mag keep it here?

"I'm guessing we'll get through two and a half episodes of The Magdalorian before you pass out. Where should I drop off your comatose body after? MERC, Dena's place, one of the DFI rooms?" His deadpan tone doesn't falter for even a moment, even as he's casually throwing down the gauntlet and telling Tina she's an overhyped lightweight who will nod off before they even meet Baby Wenomir. You can feel the smirk and smarm, though, even if he's somehow managed to keep his face completely blank.

[Murkus]

[The Living Room]

"Oh. Ohoho. Yeah, I gotta go too Dena, we're in the living room and the tinhead's using them fightin' words," says the little chrome gal. "Kiss kiss. Bye bye. I'll bring you something for the hangover in the morning."

She leans her head to one side and eyes Mags as she ends the call. "Thinks he's so cute. So what do you want for breakfast, cyborg? Cuz' I'll still be here and chuggin' along when you're staining your couch with 100 proof drool from trying to best the very best."

[Shadowcaller]

[The Living Room]

Dena laughs louder. "You so sound like one of those cartoon persons when you laugh, Tina. Magtok too. But yeah, buh-bye. Hope you get to know each other really well!" Then she ends the call.

[Lord Magtok]

The Living Room

"Trying to best the very best, huh? So what, you're inviting one of your friends over? Is she hot?" Magtok fires back, playing with fire and getting in way over his head. He waves a hand and the tv turns itself on, navigating from menu to menu all on its own until The Magdalorian is queued up. After that, he's just got to mix some drinks and they should be set, right? I mean, assuming he doesn't cross the line and say something that makes Tina punch him in the face first.

[5a Violista]

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring: Banana Phone
On a Thursday

It's Harley. She's calling Magtok's number.

The first thing she says is, "Hey, Magtok. Could I ask you for another favor? That one guy in HALO...by the way, do you know his name? It's like, Renault or Reinhardt or something like that..." She's willing to give a description if Magtok needs one, but she hopes he knows him just based on most of the name. She's forgotten what Reinholdt's name is but still remembers slightly more than half of it.


Actually, since I'm already here, might as well do this one too, just because.

Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding: Danana Phone
After the Thanksmas Party

This one is an unknown number, since she was given his phone number but not vice-versa.

"Um. H-hi. This is Marin, and I hope I typed in the number correctly this time, one of the numbers smeared and..." Realizing that she's talking too much, she quickly changes direction and adds, "Is this Magtok's number?"

[Lord Magtok]

I've Got This Feeling

"Did he do a little dramatic flourish when you met him? Called himself a Treasure-Hunter Extraordinaire or something like that? Weird pink eyeballs?" Magtok asks, buying time with a bunch of unnecessary questions as he mentally runs through a list of possible motives Harley might have for calling him about the cat. Did someone else put a bounty on the cat's head? Is she still with AMEN, plotting evil tricks and schemes to take down HALO from within with her evil shapeshifting powers? Did the cat knock up another one of his exes? Well...technically Caelynn isn't an ex right now, is she? So I guess that last question doesn't really count. Still, we're treading in dangerous waters here. She might not seem like much, but she led AMEN once, and Reinholdt is...well, he's Reinholdt. He's been at his most dangerous when involved romantically with deranged maniacs, like Calublufiok, Rabbit, and Astir. Though she might be a villain, Harley isn't quite in apocalypse territory, but what if all she needs is a motivational push from one effed-up little cat to get there? One helpful little sidekick, and then we're right back where we started, begrudgingly saving the world from yet another cat-induced Armageddon.

...

Obviously an apocalypse would be bad for everyone, but it would give us a completely valid excuse to finally kill the cat off for good, right? I mean, he obviously wouldn't succeed at his scheme, and it would be a real shame to sacrifice someone fun and cool like Harley like that, but if we can just look the other way for a little while, make sure Reinholdt has everything he needs to try to end the world again...I mean, how much do we really have to lose? He doesn't have any sort of emotional attachment to any of the Nexus's heroes these days; whichever PC ends up getting killed by the cat is probably not going to be anyone he knows or cares about personally. Blanche heroically sacrificing herself to stop her father would make Caelynn cry, sure, but it's not going to haunt our nightmares the way Melody's death did. The people who defend the cat will finally be out of excuses for him, and once he's gone, that last little bit of unresolved anxiety will finally be disposed of. It's win-win, isn't it? Aside from the massive collateral damage and civilian deaths caught in Rein's whirlwind of destruction, of course, but there's always going to be something like that going on. Yes, this would be the first controlled apocalypse, a doomsday scenario where we already know both of the antagonists and exactly how to destroy them.

So go ahead, Magtok. Tell Harley the cat's phone number.


So Appealing

Oh crap, Marin. I knew there was something we were forgetting! Right away, right after the party, we were supposed to call Caelynn and ask her how she felt about moving towards a more open relationship. We were going to reactivate the cloning vats but block the activation signal from reaching the fleet, and then tell her she could have two, or perhaps even three Magtoks all to herself, if she agreed to let the other clones, meaning us, flirt with other catgirls. I swear to gods, how did we forget? It was like the third thing on our to-do list, right after the Thanksmas party and-

Magtok glances at the betta fish he's been spending most of the day setting up a needlessly large, colorful, and well-furnished fish tank for. Oh, right. That happened. We had all these plans and lists and ideas, and then Zee handed us a fish for Thanksmas and suddenly we had all these extra responsibilities that need to be responded to first. Goddammit Zee, you ruined everything. This is all entirely your fault and you are just the absolute worst. It's a really cute fish though, thank you!

"Hi Marin, it's me. Yeah, I'm sorry, I just get needlessly dramatic sometimes and do that kind of thing without thinking. Baggage from the supervillain days," Magtok admits, even though he hasn't really been any kind of villain for like an entire decade now and that excuse doesn't really make any sense anymore. Really, the truth is he's just a terrible narcissist who can't go five minutes without someone's praise and adulation. Acting like a ridiculous dingus gets people's attention, it's how he convinces them to like him, and people liking you is, without a doubt, the very best thing in the world. Nothing beats the giddy thrill that comes with knowing that as weird and wacky and strange as this world is, one shiny little cyborg can still startle, amaze, and dumbfound the most weary and jaded of hearts with hardly any effort at all. Magtok is the best, and everyone who ever meets him should know this for a fact.

[5a Violista]

[For us to get together]

"Yes! That's the one," she says over the phone. "He did exactly all that." She notices that he didn't actually say his name, since that's a third of the reason she called, but at least they know they're on the same page. In the background of the phone call, there's a muffled 'whump' as she drops herself onto a couch. The flourish seems to have worked, however, since that's how she managed to remember this much of his name. "Sure, it was a little dorky," she says with a laugh, "but it was also kind-of cute, you know?"

That sentence probably confirmed all of Magtok's fears about a potential incoming apocalypse. It's a good thing he's getting his MagCave up and running, right?

"So, funny story," Harley says as she rotates in the couch so her feet are now up and her head's near the ground. "I met him at the train station. He thinks I'm a half-elf -" Wait, has Magtok figured out she was the one Nigel took a picture with? "...well, that's a long story, too, but anyway. I was late for the train, he started talking to me, and asked me out to dinner," she says, neglecting to mention over an hour of things that happened, "but the train left before we could decide on where. I don't want to overdress or underdress - I'm sure you know how that is - so I was wondering if you had his number?" She figures he would know because he used to be in charge of HALO, of course. Not for any other reason.


[And sing - Sing!]

"Oh, good," Marin says, "I can save this number I was starting to get afraid there were more numbers I had smudged and misread." Luckily, the handwriting was pretty clear. In fact, there's still traces of it left on her hand since a single wash didn't completely make it go away. She can still see the numbers she wasn't completely sure about.

Marin turns and lets her tail curl around the table leg near her and thinks a little. "Dramatic things are pretty fun, so it's never really all that needless," she says, thinking a bit more about how to approach this: Like at the Thanksmas party, she had planned out what she wanted to say but it got derailed after the second or third wrong number.

"So..." She's not entirely sure if he was thinking of the dinner of more of a business, professional sort of ting, or a friends thing, or a 'I want to get to know you better' sort of thing. Just straight-out asking if she should bring her resume and professional dress or if it's more of a casual date-like scenario would be really awkward if she gets it wrong. She really thinks she should have asked for clarification back at the party, but now it's too late and he probably already has it all planned out. Plus, if she just outright asks him, Marin figures he'd just say 'yeah that's what I was planning' even if it wasn't and then he'd have to replan everything out. Not to mention, she can't decide whether or not she was correctly reading the vibes when they talked last, or if that was just the Thanksmas atmosphere.
So she tries to tease out what he has planned, so she can figure out what sort of expectations he has for it.
...She's going to wear something with high collars or a scarf anyway, regardless, so it's not like it's going to change much of what she wears.
"So, you don't have to mention what all the plans are, but I was wondering what I should wear...I mean, how you think I should dress for it?" she asks. There, that's the first question - is it professional or casual or fancy? Business, friendly, or something else?

[Lord Magtok]

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Banana Phone

"I don't want to overdress or underdress - I'm sure you know how that is -"

Our cyborg glances at his walk-in closet, which has maybe a dozen nearly identical purple robes, three black robes, two extremely tacky suits, three sensible-looking ones, and a few Thanksmas robes that can't be worn any other time of the year. Oh yeah, that's right, Magtok knows aaaaaaall about dressing appropriately for the occasion. Yep, totally. He knows all about the important little differences between business, casual, business casual, and black tie formal wear, and definitely doesn't just reduce all of his clothing decisions down to just a simple question of robe or suit. He nods along as Harley continues talking, deciding this is one of those times where it's probably better not to correct someone.

"Harley, be honest with me. Are you working with AMEN again?" Magtok asks, abruptly shifting his tactics and direction for this conversation in an instant. He speaks in a disapproving tone that seems to suggest that he thinks that working with terrorists to be on the same level as awful as vaping, loitering outside convenience stores, and blasting really loud music late at night when the neighbors are trying to sleep. It's his very best fatherly disapproval voice, which he's been practicing for the next time he's forced to interact with Blanche.

"It's probably just a coincidence that I have a picture of you and Nigel from the Spooktober party, that you're not meeting with each of HALO's members individually to get a feel for weaknesses and personalities before AMEN strikes, but if it's not, Harley, please don't. Nigel's an obnoxious clown and I have nothing positive to say about my interactions with Reinholdt, but all the other people there are nice and almost completely harmless. Infiltrate VIGIL if you have to beat up some heroes; Felandria's one of the most innocent people in the Nexus and she'll probably cry if any of her people get hurt," Magtok pleads, not entirely sure where this is all coming from. Since when did he care about HALO or the people in it? What difference should it make to him if Harley does something that makes Fel cry? What happened to our apocalypse plans from two minutes ago? Are we really taking a completely different approach to this conversation now just because we found out she dressed up as you and hung out with Nigel once?


Ping Pong Ping Pong Ping Pong Ping Panana Phone!

"So, you don't have to mention what all the plans are, but I was wondering what I should wear...I mean, how you think I should dress for it?" she asks. There, that's the first question - is it professional or casual or fancy? Business, friendly, or something else?

"Oh, that's uh..." We only just finished setting up the fish tank, what plans could we possibly have? We still don't even know if Caelynn is going to try to murder us yet, and whether you'll live or die before next Tuesday is usually a pretty important thing to establish before making dinner plans! Imagine how hurt Marin will be if she gets stood up for her date because your head is too busy rolling on the floor, Magtok. She's been through so much pain and suffering already; are you really going to put her through all that torment and dejection?

"Well at some point later in the evening, I figured I might ask you to demonstrate your mechanical skills on what's left of The Bellerophon. You know, just as a trial run, to see how you do with a completely unfamiliar piece of machinery when put on the spot, add some thin veneer of professionalism and legitimacy to my shamelessly unethical blending of corporate and personal affairs. So maybe something that won't be irrevocably ruined if it gets an oil stain on it?" Magtok improvises, not sure if there's actually anything worth salvaging in The Bellerophon at all after the cyberwolves chewed apart all its cables. Still, it would be a decent way to see how she approaches a completely unsolvable problem and prove she's not a complete disaster with machines. Plus if her messy, self-taught methods get results, just imagine what she could do with tech manuals and tools and proper book learning! She could be pretty and useful!

[5a Violista]

It grows in bunches/ I've got my hunches

Harley taps her feet to some imaginary rhythm. "Hey, that's actually pretty clever, maybe I should do that," she says. There's a beat, then she laughs. "Just kidding: they trust me so of course I wouldn't do something like that." This probably implies that if they stopped trusting her, she might be okay with doing something like that.

After joking about something like that, she figures she still needs to explain: "I guess I probably should tell you the long story, then. The current AMEN leader has been rewriting history with me as a traitor so that I couldn't go back anyway. Regardless, all my friends there have moved on or stopped showing up: Stu's gone into politics, Moff and Mr. E vanished, and the Thing in the Walls has stopped being active." But, hey! He said 'Reinholdt'! That's his name.

She continues. "Since people tend to trust elves, I've been doing some jobs for MERC to help...oof." Her feet tapping on the broken wall causes a couple bricks and cement to fall onto her stomach. Ouch. Even though it doesn't hurt anymore, getting hit still reminds her of it... "...to help pay the bills." She turns back right-side up and dumps the wall materials off her lap onto the floor. "On a job, I ran into Felandria and danced with her but couldn't remember where I knew her from so after some talking she invited me to join HALO when I had the time. Nigel actually was a coincidence: he was alone at a party so I talked with him and after he said he knew you, I started to get curious about what you thought about my costume." Harley stands up so she can brush the cement dust off of her. ""Your reaction was great and I wish I could have seen it. If there's something nefarious going on that's making me run into all the HALO members at parties, I'm not the one orchestrating it, I swear."

She keeps on brushing the dust off, while waiting to hear his response to that.


It's no baloney/ It ain't a phony

"Oh, that's good." He quickly manages to cut straight to the root of her questions - even the ones she hasn't asked yet - so Marin signs in relief.
...and she laughs at his 'shamelessly unethical blending' description.

So, regarding the clothes, it sounds like something with two layers, where the outside layer looks nicer and is warm and the inside layer is something she normally works in. But then she'll also have to remember to bring a scarf or something that'd be fine with getting damaged...actually, does she have anything like that? As he still talks, she walks over to her closet to look through it...basically everything looks the same...she really needs to go out and buy more clothing. Almost nothing she has would work for this.

But, anyway, by the sound of it, it seems more like a friendly atmosphere except for the Bellerophon, whatever that is. So...that's fine. "Good, I actually have lots of options for what to wear, then." She closes her closet, just in case he can somehow hear through the phone that she actually doesn't. Sure, that doesn't even make sense, but...she still does it anyway. On the other hand, she does have plenty of small miscellaneous tools she could fit into her purse.

"So...I guess that was actually my only question," she says.

[Lord Magtok]

I'll Call For Pizza

"...Alright," Magtok concedes. All this new information means she definitely doesn't have the right blend of neuroses to lead the cat down an apocalyptic journey to destruction. In fact, this whole thing probably isn't going anywhere exciting at all, and there won't be a valid reason to murder a single person. What a shame. I suppose the least we could do is tell Harley a bit more about the cat she's dating, then.

"Reinholdt had to put down a son who tried to end the world once; you'll want to avoid talking about that. You also probably shouldn't mention me because we have a long history of trying to kill and steal from each other. That's...sorta related to the whole 'trying to end the world' business. There's a lot of bad blood there, and I honestly wouldn't mind if each and every one of the cat's clones dropped dead." Magtok pauses, trying to figure out where to go from here and how to avoid falling into yet another stupid rant about how awful and terrible and vile the cat is. Those rants have never worked on anyone; it's a waste of time to try that sort of thing here.

"He's broken, like us. A washed-up former villain in a world that no longer has a place for people like Moff, Gordon, and Rot, but who spitefully clung to life anyway. He would've made a great AMENite, back in the day. Don't trust him," Magtok warns, before texting Harley the number.


I'll Call My Cat

The way she says 'I actually have lots of options for what to wear' is very telling, and very worrying. Magtok sprinkles some fish food into the betta's tank, shaking his head in disappointment. You see what you've done, Magtok? She probably only has like three sets of clothes, and you just told her you're going to ruin one of them. You've got to make this right, cyborg. All of that money and power and influence you pretend you still have, you've got to use it to protect Marin from the consequences of your ignorant, self-absorbed decisions.

"I'll pay for dry cleaning after?" Magtok offers. Dry cleaning is how you clean clothes when you don't have fancy technology or a prestidigitation spell, right? It costs what, five, eleven dollars, something like that? We have that much money lying around here somewhere. If not, we can just ask Kathy or the MagFleet to loan us a couple dollars, or maybe sell the MultiBlade blueprints to an arms dealer. People still buy fancy tech swords these days, right? I'm sure it'll be a huge commercial success and we'll be able to afford to keep the MagCave partially functional for another three whole months with that kind of money.

[5a Violista]

[I'll call the White House]

As Magtok talks, Harley nods even though nodding over a phone is pointless. "Okay. Okay. I'll try. Alright." Topics to avoid: that's generally good to know. To be honest, she probably wouldn't have asked about most of them, anyway, but it's still good to know in case she found out some things. With all the brick-dust removed, she walks around while still on the phone.

To finish off the conversation, she adds, "I kind-of picked up on some of that while talking with him," she says. "It's fine." Then, Harley pauses. "But, I'll keep it in mind."

"Thanks!" she says. "You're the best!"

And then, after taking a deep breath, Harley hangs up.


[[I'll] have a chat]

Marin considers saying 'no, you don't have to' or 'I won't wear anything that needs dry cleaning, anyway' - actually, while she's on the topic, does she even have anything that's supposed to be dry-cleaned? There might be one or two, she supposes, but she's gotten by fine just tossing most everything in the washing machine - it's just a couple of coins that way - and just hand-washing everything else. She'll be more able to convince him he doesn't have to do it in the moment, she supposes. If she says it now, he'll probably feel like he has to convince her it's fine.

"Thanks for the offer," she says. "If I need it, I'll depend on you, then." There! That should work, right? Neutral, and leaves open the possibility of turning it down in the future.

"So! Anyway. This is my phone number, so feel free to save it," she says. She really doesn't want to be the one to hang up first and she's partly hoping he'll talk a bit more but she doesn't know what about.

[Lord Magtok]

I'll Place A Call Around The World

Well, I guess that's it. Magtok's one act of basic human decency towards the cat for the decade, which he only bothered with out of courtesy towards Harley. I guess that means we're in the clear until 2029, huh? Best get back to work inventing new ways to kill him and ruin his life, I guess. Maybe we'll keep it simple this time, settle for hypnotizing Harley into shoving him out of HALO's airlock in a few weeks, I dunno. It's not really a very big priority right now, what with all this anti-slavery business and saving the world and trying to rebuild his own lair and corporation. Speaking of which...


Operator Get Me Bejing-Jing-Jing-Jing

"Right, let me repeat it to you to make sure I have the number right," Magtok says, before doing exactly that. Seeing as his phone is built into his own head, and he can see the numbers dancing across the screen in his red eye, there's really no chance at all of him getting the number wrong, but maybe it'll help humanize him a little, bring him down to earth, as it were.

"Oh, and one more thing. As a potential prospective employer, I'm not making you uncomfortable or pressured to reciprocate with all my nonsense, am I? Because if I am, I'll stop. You won't hear another word of that out of me; I'll be good and knock it off right now. I've been on the other side of that kind of power dynamic and...well, it kinda ruined my life for a while, so-" Magtok glares at his new fish, blaming it for his inexplicable moment of vulnerability and forthrightness. Marin did not need to know all of that about us. Nobody needs to know about that period of our life. It's something we're supposed to keep from people, not blab to every passing stranger over the phone for free pity points! Goddammit Nomlas, you're ruining everything!

[Murkus]

[The Living Room]

"Man's got jokes! We'll see how long that lasts," Fettina plops down on Magtoks sofa and fiddles with the TV remote. Probably flicks around looking at the episodes. "So what's this show anyway?"

[5a Violista]

[(Soprano Sax Solo)]

Marin listens to the number being repeated back. "Mhm...yeah, yeah that's right" she says.

"Don't worry, if I get uncomfortable, I'll tell you," she says. Well, actually, she doesn't say that. That's what she wants to say. But Marin knows herself. She knows that if she gets too uncomfortable, she'll just freeze up and get mad at herself for getting uncomfortable too easily and then try to hide it rather than bring it up, and then she'll rationalize it to herself by saying if he intended to cross a line, there's nothing she could do about it anyway so there's no point in making him uncomfortable as well...and she knows she'll act this way because this is how she's acted in the past and she doesn't think she can just get over it.

So, instead, she says, "It's fine, I trust you and you haven't crossed any lines and I'm not uncomfortable or feeling pressured."

"So...I'm available most mornings and weekends and with enough advance notice I could get the day off, so you can just schedule it whenever's most convenient for you."

[Lord Magtok]

The Living Room

"Not a clue. Leased the TV rights to my name and likeness for a few years, just to get some money flowing while I worked on putting this place back together again. The internet's been saying a lot of good things about it, but I'm pretty sure it's probably a complete nightmare and I'm going to need most of the booze we have here just to sit through it," Magtok foretells, demonstrating both his incredible optimism and talent for prophecy all at once as he flings himself at a couch.


It's A Real Live Mama And Papa Phone

"How's next Saturday, then? " Magtok asks, suddenly drowning in doubts about this whole thing. Is he making too much of a thing out of this imagined power imbalance? I mean, for all his supposed wealth and influence, he's currently just a hermit living in a cave, forced to sell off the occasional bit of weird junk or lost tech blueprints just to keep the debtors off his back. He's a weird hermit with potential, sure, but not much more than that. Can he even afford to hire Marin at all? How's he going to even get MagMart reopened without all the funds the MagFleet has locked away?

"I can pick you up outside Trog's, since it does that weird thing where you can get there from anywhere?" Magtok tried asking Needs how the magic behind that works, but five seconds into the explanation his eyes glazed over and he was completely lost in a mess of arcane terminology and nonsensical gibberish.

[5a Violista]

[A Brother and Sister and a Dogaphone]

"Sure," Marin says. "Saturday's great!" And that gives him time to talk it out with his girlfriend and figure out what's with his finances, and it gives Marin time to put together an outfit, and whatever else she needs to do to get ready.

Little does Magtok realize, being unable to pay her gives him some leverage, because then he can make sure she gets paid only on commission or based on the value she creates, and he won't even have to make anything up to convince her that would be the best option available. "Yeah, meeting at Trog's is fine, since it's easy to find, too." Especially since she's been around Riverside mostly, only going to Inside for shopping and sight-seeing, and so going to Inside and Trog's is a bit of excitement.

[Lord Magtok]

A Grandpa Phone And A Gramophone Too! Oh Yeah!

"Alright, great. Trog's, Saturday, the ugly pickup truck parked outside with a ridiculous-looking cyborg in the driver's seat. See you then," Mag says, giving her a moment to add any last-second concerns, if she has any, before hanging up. Okay then, Saturday! Plenty of time to figure out what he's actually going to do and work his way through all the little panic attacks and personal crises that accompany each and every major change or decision Magtok has ever made in his entire life. Just gotta make a plan, call a Caelynn, risk his life fending off whatever deadly scientific aberration is guarding the cloning vats and fusion reactor on floor thirteen, and remember to stop for gas so the pickup truck doesn't break down in the middle of the road like it did last year. No problem; we can do that! It'll be easy as pie, just you wait and see!

[5a Violista]

[My Cellular, Bananular Phone!]

"Okay! See you!" Marin responds. She doesn't have any other concerns that he needs to bother with - just deciding on clothes and so on. Maybe go buy something. Might as well, right? She's bought a lot of things recently. Saturday. Okay, good.

She hangs up.

[Murkus]

The Living Room

"Not a clue. Leased the TV rights to my name and likeness for a few years, just to get some money flowing while I worked on putting this place back together again. The internet's been saying a lot of good things about it, but I'm pretty sure it's probably a complete nightmare and I'm going to need most of the booze we have here just to sit through it," Magtok foretells, demonstrating both his incredible optimism and talent for prophecy all at once as he flings himself at a couch.

[Living Room]

"Dude! I wanna lease the rights to my name and likeness!" Fettina declares as the TV's light glances off her skin. "Come on. I bet it'll be cute. But I just wanna say, when they make a show about me, we're watching that next." Tina has spoken.

[Lord Magtok]

Living Room

Magtok looks at Tina with...well, to paraphrase the words of a better writer than myself, he looks at her with a troubled, uncomfortable stare, like that of a man who must explain to his paraplegic daughter that her dreams of becoming a ballerina will never come true. He struggles to find the softest words, some gentle way to let her know that she's not exactly what they want in a Nexflix star. When your entire physical form is that shiny and reflective, half the special effects budget is going to go towards just editing the cameraman out of every single shot. On top of that, does she even have any legendary exploits, famous adventures, or explosive scandals documented online? If so, Magtok's never heard of any of them, and if Magtok doesn't know about something it obviously doesn't exist.

"I'll talk to an agent, see if anyone's interested," the cyborg promises, even though he has absolutely zero intention of doing anything remotely like that. Could probably set her up with an inane, degenerate reality tv show, however. An Inside Look At Inside's Most Desperate Angels or something like that.

"You seem to be under the impression I'm inviting you back at some point, though," Magtok points out. "That I'm not going to be forced to disavow this entire meeting and drink all day tomorrow until I forget every last crazy thing that happened. You believe, perhaps mistakenly, that this night doesn't end with using my power as the one and only undisputed sovereign of this realm to have you joined in holy and also completely legal matrimony with a bottle of dish soap, before kicking you to the curb as petty revenge for...whatever it is you do later on that drives me to such extremes." Sneaking off during the third episode to steal some high tech laser weapon, perhaps? Posting pictures of his stupid inebriated face all over her Insidegram? Trying to set him up with a female clone of Reinholdt, maybe? Finding out she was actually serious about setting him up with Dena?

Five Six Seven Oh Nine

Okay, that's one phone call out of the way. Time for the harder one. Magtok taps a finger to the side of his head, ringing up Caelynn's number. Possessed by a overwhelming sense of overconfidence and invincibility, he reaches into the pockets of one of the robes in his closet, producing an energy revolver and a bandolier of bubblegum grenades. Yeah, that should be good enough to carry us to the finish line, right? We'll teleport right to the cloning vats, dust off a few keyboards, shoot anything that puts up any kind of resistance, and then run away like a coward the second things get out of hand before trying again ten seconds later. We can fight our way through our own decrepit creations and talk to our catgirlfriend about serious drama business at the same time! Of course we can do it! We are the best, after all.

"Hello, Caelynn? You take care of your last patient for the day? Hey listen, so I'm a terrible person, an awful boyfriend, and a worthless hypocrite. This is uh...this is going to be a hell of a story, so you should probably find somewhere to sit down first," he warns her, as he telewarps from his well-lit bedroom to a massive, musty cavern consumed by darkness. Now, when I say 'consumed by darkness,' I don't just mean it's a little shadowy down there, oh no, for ages, this cavern has had no light whatsoever. Magtok's ruby red eye is like a lighthouse in an endless sea of gloom, barely enough to let him see the outline of his hand when held directly in front of his face.

"I didn't cheat on you, first of all. I mean, I'm not proud of myself, and I'm sure you'll find plenty of other completely valid reasons to be mad at me, but let me just get that out of the way before anything else," he tries to assure her, his voice echoing across the endless void. It's quiet down here, too. Nothing more than the idle humming of computers in the distance to keep one from mistaking this whole room for some kind of miserable sensory deprivation tank. Spooky, if you're the sort of person who'd get unnerved by a thing like that. Our cyborg certainly isn't, though. Oh no, he's been through this before, he's used to this kind of emptiness. Mag's eye goes from its usual shade of red to a neon green, switching to a much more useful nightvision. We'll be done in like ten minutes, promise.

[Murkus]

[Living Room]

"Pfft, dude, you're losing it. Didn't you almost get murdered earlier or something? Maybe the shock is messing with your brain. Love the way you talk, but for real," Fettina folds her arms over her belly. She's too busy looking at the TV to catch any looks, but she seems amused. "Besides, your revenge sounds pretty weak, if that's all you've got to hold me back. I've been joined in less than legal matrimony with less savory inanimate objects than that, if you catch my drift," she gives him a sidelong wink, still too busy vegging out to glance at him.