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  1. - Top - End - #301
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    I roll to fix my car.
    You turn it into a hover car.

    I roll to steal jqavins's hover car.

  2. - Top - End - #302
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
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    Female

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    You turn it into a hover car.

    I roll to steal jqavins's hover car.
    Jqavin's hover car has abruptly and inexplicably disappeared. The police have no suspects.

    I roll to figure out where the wildfire in my area is that's got the sky all smoky.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  3. - Top - End - #303
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Hang on a minute! You determine the exact locations, outlines, and most likely progress of every wildfire on Earth, but I'm rolling to figure out what happened to my dang car!
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  4. - Top - End - #304
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    Hang on a minute! You determine the exact locations, outlines, and most likely progress of every wildfire on Earth, but I'm rolling to figure out what happened to my dang car!
    It's at the bottom of the grand canyon as scrap metal. It ran out of gas as I was soaring over it, and I had to leap out. Luckily I had a parachute. I still have the key if you want it - not that it'll do you much good.

    Now if you excuse me, I need to roll to commit insurance fraud to make it appear as though this wasn't my fault.

  5. - Top - End - #305
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

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    Jun 2013
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    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    Now if you excuse me, I need to roll to commit insurance fraud to make it appear as though this wasn't my fault.
    You somehow manage to convince your insurance company that the crash was the result of bad gasoline; the insurance company pays you then turns around and sues the oil company. And you somehow manage to evade prosecution for stealing the car in the first place, even though your own words in the insurance claim make it completely clear that you did (you damn dirty rat!).

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go file my insurance claim for the theft of the car and it's subsequent destruction.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  6. - Top - End - #306
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go file my insurance claim for the theft of the car and it's subsequent destruction.
    You successfully file a claim and it turns out you were insured for over 10 times the value of your car giving you a huge net profit.

    I roll to steal the car of jqavins's neighbor to lure jqavins into a false state of security for when I steal their car again. I'm playing 3 dimensional chess when it comes to stealing.

  7. - Top - End - #307
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    (I vow never again to own an expensive car; it's too stressful.)

    You steal the neighbor's car. Despite the obvious conclusion that there is a car theft ring in my neighborhood, I am somehow more relaxed about the security of my own car, since the ring has already hit me and moved on.

    I roll to stick to my vow anyway.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  8. - Top - End - #308
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    (I vow never again to own an expensive car; it's too stressful.)

    I roll to stick to my vow anyway.
    You stick to your vow and cycle everywhere. You cycle so much carbon emissions around the world go down and you prevent more climate disasters and even win a Nobel Prize.

    I roll to enlist the help of another master criminal to decide what to steal next since jqavins doesn't have a cool car any more.

  9. - Top - End - #309
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Over there!
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    You stick to your vow and cycle everywhere. You cycle so much carbon emissions around the world go down and you prevent more climate disasters and even win a Nobel Prize.

    I roll to enlist the help of another master criminal to decide what to steal next since jqavins doesn't have a cool car any more.
    The die bounces into a corner of the room and, as you pick it up, you accidently open a sealed secret room. Inside you find a number of books penned by one Proff J Moriarty which contain, in excruciating detail, a number of foolproof ways to gain illicit entry to a number of high security locations and prisons, all based on structural details that can't have been altered and, in many cases, include notes concerning hypothetical technological defences which more than cover modern day devices. Best of all, you don't have to cut him in!

    I roll to find secret doors.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  10. - Top - End - #310
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    There aren't any to find, so you install some. You bypass the whole dungeon and grow as a speedrunner.

    I roll to beat EDMMK3's sweet speed run.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  11. - Top - End - #311
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I roll to beat EDMMK3's sweet speed run.
    You beat the game with such speed you travel faster than the speed of light and reduce the entire universe to a singularity. But everyone in else in the multiverse is talking about your impressive speed run.

    I roll to get Goku and Vegeta to stop training and be better fathers even if that means they won't be able to stop a bad guy from destroying the Earth and other parts of the universe.

  12. - Top - End - #312
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
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    Female

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    I roll to get Goku and Vegeta to stop training and be better fathers even if that means they won't be able to stop a bad guy from destroying the Earth and other parts of the universe.
    They become the most wonderful, caring fathers ever. Their devotion is so great that any villain they might otherwise encounter is moved to tears, and spares the Earth and other parts of the universe. (And I have no idea what I'm talking about...)

    I roll to protect Tanaka Naoki from Thai-kicks for the rest of his life, the poor guy.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  13. - Top - End - #313
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Now, every time someone attempts a Thai Kick on Tanaka Naoki, you mysteriously appear and block the kick.

    I roll to paint a picture with some happy little trees in it.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  14. - Top - End - #314
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Korith View Post
    I roll to paint a picture with some happy little trees in it.
    Are you familiar with Jojo? Bob Ross is now your stand: "ORA ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! And some happy little trees!"

    I roll to make the next poster reference a video game meme.

  15. - Top - End - #315
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Long Live Pong!!!!!

    I roll to rock and roll.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  16. - Top - End - #316
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Whelp, the world is now out of its regular orbit. Hope you had fun.

    I roll to fix that.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  17. - Top - End - #317
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You manage to altar the speed of light, and correspondingly, the gravitational constant. Everything is fine...

    I roll to convince the masses that everything is fine with this sudden shift of the physical constants of the universe.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  18. - Top - End - #318
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Korith View Post
    I roll to convince the masses that everything is fine with this sudden shift of the physical constants of the universe.
    You succeed in convincing everyone that everything is fine and win the Nobel Prize for Normalcy - new category just invented because of how well you convinced everyone everything is fine.

    I roll to steal Korith's Nobel Prize.

  19. - Top - End - #319
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

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    Jun 2013
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    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You take possession of both the medal and the money with nobody the wiser.

    Unfortunately, within an hour they, and everything else, suddenly fails their existence rolls as, much like the coyote noticing gravity, the universe suddenly notices that the universal gravitation constant and speed of light are no longer compatible each other, the electron charge, etc.

    I roll to put the universe back the way ot was.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  20. - Top - End - #320
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Whelp, that's the Big Bang theory confirmed.

    I roll to accelerate the evolution of human-like life.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  21. - Top - End - #321
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You create angels.

    I roll to re-exist.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  22. - Top - End - #322
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    ... I roll to figure out what "re-exist" means.
    Last edited by HalfTangible; 2019-07-12 at 03:55 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  23. - Top - End - #323
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
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    Female

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    ... I roll to figure out what "re-exist" means.
    You now know what it means, along with every word and non-word in the English language.

    I roll to learn Japanese.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  24. - Top - End - #324
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You accidentally enroll yourself in a masters-level literature program. You suffer through the first few weeks until you find yourself adapting to the full-immersion environment and babbling like a five-year-old who just found a thesaurus. By the end of the first semester, you're already doing better than most of the native speakers in the class.

    I roll to track down a rogue web server.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  25. - Top - End - #325
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Hornell, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You fin it hidden away in a cave, directing the management and growth of a culture which worships it as a god. You find it and intervene on it's behalf just before Captain Kirk phasers it.

    I roll to take control of the Enterprise.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  26. - Top - End - #326
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    I roll to take control of the Enterprise.
    You manage to take control of the ship. At first Spock find this "illogical," but eventually comes around. Also McCoy was going to stop you until he realized he's a doctor, not mutineer.

    I roll to "[I] say Hey! What's going on?"

  27. - Top - End - #327
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You ask, "Hey, what's going on," in your loudest voice. All members of the crew stop and stare at you, wondering where this newbie came from, and why he's here.

    I roll to hijack the Enterprise and go on a galaxy-wide search for the TARDIS, thus creating a strange crossover.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  28. - Top - End - #328
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You find it in the ruins of Isengard being guarded by all the character Shean Bean has ever portrayed who died, plus Sharpe, from an invading army of Gems lead by a borgified Jake the Dog and Perry the Platypus.

    I roll to get the rights for this as a screenplay.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  29. - Top - End - #329
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You not only get the rights to the screenplay but go on to produce a truly excellent film. Also, to cast it properly you end up having to clone Sean Bean so there's now a couple dozen of him.

    I roll to gain complete control over this new cloning technology.

  30. - Top - End - #330
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Rolled a 20 Game

    You create a conquering army of Seans Bean.

    I roll to hole up in the depths of the ocean.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

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