Trog's Tavern CLIII

[Rebonack]

"Arright, one bowl of totally not peach and one bowl of definitely not watermelon ice cream," Zee says, placing both bowls on the counter with a smile. "If you need anything else let me know, okay?"

And then she's off to help someone else!

But getting her attention again would be pretty easy.

Kirin, meanwhile, tastes a bite of ice cream. "Oh, wow, this IS pretty good."

A spoon full is offered to Nirik.

Watching someone feed their tail looks weird.

"She said this bar is at the center of all possible worlds," Nirik muses. "Maybe there's an easy way to get back?"

Well.

That's certainly hopeful.

[Deathkeeper]

Moira takes a bite and immediately feels refreshed. It really is just that good. It’s also incredibly thick.
She proceeds to tear into the bowl until she has to put it down rubbing her head.
”Aaaaah I ate too nidorina fast! I-what-nidorina.”
Uh oh. It looks like eating too fast gave her the hiccups.
Like everything else about her, it’s frustratingly cute.
”I can’t go back home looking like- nidorina this! We don’t have any nidorina magic critters home. Maybe we can just get to nidorina your place until I get it sorted- nidorina oh my gosh this is so annoying!!!” she pouts and tries holding her breath.

[Rebonack]

There are probably worse problems than being frustratingly cute.

But Moira isn't dealing with those problems right now.

Kirin is still eating ice cream, so Nirik replies instead.

"Possibly. You wouldn't be very out of place back home. Your race is quite common," Nirik muses. "Though there is still the question of how and why you evolved."

Zee, who has just finished delivering a tray of ale to a group of adventurers back from a dungeon crawl, catches that comment.

"Wait, you weren't supposed to evolve?" she asks. "I though pokemon evolving was a good thing."

"She looked like you before," Kirin says between bites. "Well, not exactly like you. Whatever race you are."

"Sounds like shenanigans," Zee comments as she scoots a bit closer, scrutinizing Moira. "Do you mind if I take a closer look?" she asks, gesturing at the nidorina girl.

[Deathkeeper]

If there’s anything to take solace in, it’s that despite being a Pokémon Moira still thinks Nirik is spooky sounding.
”Sssssuuuure?” she says tentatively in response to Zee’s question, in between hiccups.

[5a Violista]

Wait, really? No raw meat? But what if some wizard brings in his cat and the cat doesn't like cooked meat due to a former taruine deficiency or some psychological quirk or whatever it is that causes certain cats to dislike cooked meat?
Or what if somebody brings in a crocodile?
Or what if somebody really wants ceviche or sushi? Or blue steak?

The mermaid is, of course, confused at the menu. Why don't they keep stocked fresh meat? she wonders. And she heard this place was good.

But she already put in so much effort trying to get up into the seat. If she just left now, she'd look ridiculous.

She sighs then requests a bamhacon and Yuan-ti Gyros - hold everything except for the meat, and cooked blue if possible - and asks if they have any fish. The menu doesn't seem to have it listed from what she can see, but most places have fish.

[Rebonack]

Of course there is fresh meat at Trog's! How else would they cook it?

Raw meat just isn't a thing on the menu. Though, to be fair, Trog's technically serves quite a few things that aren't on the menu.

So they have... a secret menu!

The sort of secret menu that encourages people to share what they've discovered on the internet with each other.

When actually asked for, some raw fish and (almost totally) raw lamb will be brought out by Cosmo. He's grumbling about people bringing pets into the tavern and how unsanitary it is.

Meanwhile!

Zee comes around the counter and examines Moira pretty closely. Specifically her ill fitting clothing. The hat is plucked off her head and scrutinized!

"Ah HA!" Zee declares, shortly before plopping the hat back between the nidorina's ears. "Sure enough. Any hair that came off didn't evolve along with you. See?"

She holds up two hairs. One a pretty normal human color and the other bright teal.

Kirin and Nirik both look puzzled.

How is that supposed to be helpful?

[Deathkeeper]

Moira looks at the hair.
”Well, yeah. But if it doesn’t have the nidorina thingy on the end then it doesn’t have any DNA in it right?”

Looks like someone has had their Middle School Biology course already.

[Rebonack]

"Shed hair almost always has the nidorina thingy on it, see?" Zee replies, pointing out the teeny tiny little white nub at one end of the hair. "The hair root comes out with the hair, typically. And that's enough for a DNA analysis. Now, give me a sec here, I need a representative sample..."

And that said?

Zee will collect several more normal human hairs!

And a couple nidorina ones just because.

Kirinirik both still look puzzled. How would having a DNA sample be useful for anything?

Zee rubs the hair roots between her fingers, looking thoughtful. She is, at the moment, building a complete mental model of Moira's pre-evolution anatomy and biomechanics in her mind. And also her current biology but that is way easier since Moira is standing right in front of her. Because she's a completely normal human female and that is a thing normal humans do.

All the time.

Right?

"Okay, got it. I'm not totally sure if this will work or not since pokemon evolution is weird, no offense," she says glancing over at Kirinirik.

The farigiraf makes a 'don't worry about it' sort of gesture. They both seem pretty curious about what's going on.

"But I might be able revert you back. No promises, though. Since evolution is... no idea, honestly. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

It's magic, Zee.

Cute animal magic.

[Deathkeeper]

Cute animal magic is pretty hard to quantify.
Like how there’s basically a hole in Moira’s biology. One that can apparently only be filled by radioactive moon rocks.
Go figure.

”Well, if you can, go ahead. Unless it’s going to be awful.” Moira isn’t sure she would want any horrible painful surgeries or anything gross even if it meant being normal again.

[5a Violista]

Trog's does seem like the kind of place that would have a secret menu. Multiple secret menus, actually. And probably some of them, you have to say the pass-phrase first. Or clear certain objectives. Or sit on a certain side of the room. Or you have to arrive shortly after they get it in stock because otherwise they run out due to all the people trying to order it because of the perceived secret.

It probably keeps online forums and message boards up all night discussing the various secret items they've found, and theorizing about the conditions you need to meet to get each item.

Anyway,
Mermaid and crocodile.
The mermaid thanks Cosmo.
She hands off the barely-cooked lamb to large animal, before praying...to stormy weather? and eats her own fish.

It actually is good, she decides, so she was right to come here.


Also, meanwhile

A certain masked investigator comes into the tavern. Harley Holly the Half-Elf^TM returns here after a long day of work. Investigating, doing job stuff, living a double life, wearing a glove on her right hand to avoid spreading some unknown mutagen to everything she touches, asking questions about the meme disease, hunting down leads, practicing putting on make-up, living a triple life, constantly double-checking her appearance just in case she randomly mutates, random encounters, etc...

...
It's been a long day, and for some reason the tavern is pretty calm.

[Earl of Purple]

Lurking in the shadows under the table is a mouse. A very unusual mouse. It's been lurking and hiding, thus far unable to find a soul to sample and surviving on whatever crumbs and fragments it's been able to find. That was a learning experience, the discovery that its host required feeding to survive. But now there's something new, something that moves slowly and might not be able to avoid the mouse if it's quick. It doesn't look properly adapted for this environment, but that's fine; their soul is bound to have some interesting feature this little discarded fragment in its rodent host can use regardless.

The mouse zips out from its hiding place to another, and then another, stealthily and sneakily getting closer and closer. Eventually, hopefully unnoticed, it darts out and tries to take a bite out of the mermaid's tail-fin before darting out. It hopes to draw blood, as that contains the essence of the soul the 'mouse' needs to examine with its own supernatural senses, before taking a hereditary characteristic from the mermaid and incorporating that into its own anatomy.

[5a Violista]

As the mouse runs under the table, it is watched by two very cold, reptilian eyes. The crocodile, with nothing to watch but feet and a single fish tail, suddenly finds the mouse very interesting. Even though it's not in the water, the large reptile acts like it is, moving only its eyes to watch it, hoping it's stupid enough to get too close. Its mouth opens very very slowly, and...waits.

Meanwhile, on the chair, the mermaid, of course, does not notice a mouse running along the floor.

It can very easily run up to her and take a nibble, especially if it avoids biting into the scales.
...
At that point, however, she'll definitely notice. She flicks her tail in an effort to launch whatever bit or pinched her off.

[Rebonack]

Well of course a venomous shrew reptile monster would need to get exposed to a mystical moon rock in order to transform into a miniature kaiju.

How ELSE would it happen?

"I'm pretty good at avoiding awful," Zee replies with a laugh as she reaches out to place two fingers on Moira's forehead.

Flickering ribbons of crystalline light begin swirling around her out-stretched hand.

And Moira will likely feel... pulled.

She starts to change.

Then little pops of silver light flash, pulling her back.

This tug of war continues for a few seconds before Zee withdraws her hand, looking irritated.

"It's actively undoing anything I try to change. Whatever triggered the evolution really wants you to stay small, blue, fuzzy, and absurdly venomous."

Kirinirik looks VERY curious about all this.

"So... you can use Transform. But on other people?" Kirin asks.

"I... guess that's more or less accurate?" Zee replies uncertainly.

"Fascinating..."

[Deathkeeper]

Moira sighs. In the end, all that's changed is that she seems slightly taller.
Like, maybe a centimeter.
"That's okay. Thanks for trying. At least it made me a cute thing and not a scary monster thing."

[Earl of Purple]

The crocodile is avoided; the mouse is aware of what those teeth mean, and equally that its own teeth can't penetrate its thick hide. It does manage a bite of the mermaid's tail before being flicked away, examining the blood and living tissue in its mouth for interesting abilities or senses that may help it survive and grow. Alas, it can adapt its body once from the small sample it has collected.

((The 'mouse' can only copy hereditary features, though it doesn't necessity matter how those features are passed on to the next generation- genetics, magic, or some other thing. Is there anything interesting about the mermaid? If nothing else, her ability to breathe underwater or see in the dark are things the mouse could get some use of.))

[5a Violista]

Unfortunately, no. The mermaid is one of my most boring characters, hereditarily speaking. Nearly every other one of my characters have things like biological-based shapeshifting, hereditary magic and special powers, super powers, or divinity that can be passed down. Not the mermaid, though. Out of all my characters, the mouse chose the only one where it wouldn't get something unusual, unique, or amazing. Besides being a mermaid, nothing about her is heritable. She's not even one of those siren-mermaids that can lure sailors to their doom with her song.

If he wants something really unique and possibly dangerous, he should try that shapeshifter half-elf over there. Or Zee, that sounds equally dangerous and unique.

The crocodile continues waiting, still hoping the mouse - or something else - is stupid enough to come by.

...
And the mermaid, having finished eating her fish, finally gets a look around the building. Seeing so many land-walkers is so strange, even though she supposes she's the one out of place.

[Purple Eagle]

A certain masked investigator comes into the tavern. Harley Holly the Half-Elf^TM returns here after a long day of work. Investigating, doing job stuff, living a double life, wearing a glove on her right hand to avoid spreading some unknown mutagen to everything she touches, asking questions about the meme disease, hunting down leads, practicing putting on make-up, living a triple life, constantly double-checking her appearance just in case she randomly mutates, random encounters, etc...

...
It's been a long day, and for some reason the tavern is pretty calm.

[Holly and the Cyber Kitsune]

Not long after, a woman walks into the tavern after Holly, wearing a leather longcoat. She's an elven kitsune, with a mix of Japanese and Polish features on her pale-skinned face and short black hair up to her chin. There are cyber lines on her cheeks and chin. Brown eyes look straight at the bar stool that's her destination, and two fox-ears where ears should be. Her hands are covered in black gloves, and her legs and feet are covered in stockings and simple shoes.

Swetlana Inoue takes a seat and orders an expensive drink, paying immediately. 'Holly' being a half-elf draws her attention, however, so it's not long till Lana fixes her eyes on her.

However, she says nothing, nor does she look away when caught observing. It's almost like she's waiting for Holly to speak first, she does seem the type...

[5a Violista]

Holly feels that she's being looked at, so of course she glances over at the kitsune.

...
She's still being stared at.
She turns again, and it's the same person. She looks for longer, noticing that the woman still stares. What...does she have something on her face? Holly checks...oh, wait, it's still a mask. Maybe she's looking at her scars...? Or maybe her disguise is being seen through?

So, she decides to speak up: "Hello? Can I help you?" she asks.

[Rebonack]

"If you want some more ice cream let me know, okay?" Zee says to Moira apologetically.

Because it isn't time that heals all wounds.

It's ice cream.

Then the barmaid begins making her rounds! Over to the mermaid first.

"Hey, is everything okay? Anything else I can get you?"

The tavern is, of course, busy. It's always busy. Aside from all the obvious PC folks about, there are many of the usual suspects. A moon elf priestess, a human fighters, a human wizard with a little white rabbit familiar, and a halfling rogue are currently having an animated round of cards. Right when it looked like the rogue was about to win (by cheating of course) the wizard's bunny ate the whole pot of coins. Whoops! Looks like no one wins that round.

A group of orks (not to be confused with orcs) are currently playing a game of darts over there. They seem to have run out of darts and are now throwing whatever non-secured objects they can find nearby at the dart board. Cosmo has decided that telling them not to throw chairs falls squarely in the 'not my job' category.

Several dorfs appear to be vising from their fortress and are enjoying a variety of beverages.

There's a spooking looking fellow wearing a cowl over there in the tavern's designated Dark Mysterious Corner(tm).

Meanwhile!

"Don't worry about it too much, Moira," Kirin says, his tone comforting. "Being a nidorina isn't so bad. And if you manage to find a moon stone you can evolve again. Then you won't be so small."

"And more adept at crushing your enemies," Nirik adds.

Because that's all a girl really wants, isn't it? To crush her enemies.

[Deathkeeper]

Moira pouts and goes back to her wacky Pokémon ice cream, but it’s really hard to pour while eating really good ice cream so her expression does soften.
”I am pretty cute.
And ok, I don’t have any enemies, but where am I supposed to find moon rocks? Do you just get magic stairs to those, too?” At this point she can’t assume that Kirin’s world doesn’t just have that.

[5a Violista]

Mermaid

Of course, the mermaid finds it all interesting and amusing.
Darts? That's not exactly a game that's easy to play underwater. She saw some sailors playing it once, and it looks interesting. Dorfs...they're so short and hairy. Good at maintaining body heat, she figures, but not very aerodynamic and probably pretty slow. A spooky person in a corner? Sometimes those would show up! They're usually thieves, she figures. There's a lot of fuzzy people around the tavern, too, but she figures that's probably normal. Having so much hair all over your body has got to be annoying, though. Like, what if it gets caught in something? What if something hides in it? What if it gets into your eyes? What if...?
She has so many questions.

The barmaid knocks her out of her people-watching and reminds that she's actually here and not just observing. She communicates how the fish was good, but would have been better with more salt.

Then, only slightly embarrassed and out-of-place, some might say like a fish out of water, she mentions how this is her first time so far away from the sea, "and so I was hoping to experience what it's like to be here on land and also go sight-seeing but I don't know any of the must-see places around here or what's normal. Do you have any recommendations?"


Half-elf

see my earlier post

[Rebonack]

[Barmaids and Mermaids]

"Sight seeing? Hmm..." Zee replies, pondering that question. "Well... I guess that depends on the sorts of sights you want to see? Cultural stuff, natural stuff, adventurous stuff?"

There are probably cultural things in the Nexus.

Like museums and art galleries!

The sorts of places that usually don't get a great deal of screen time.

[I'll teach you and you teach me, the power that's insiiiiiiide!]

"Usually find them on Mount Moon back home," Nirik hisses back.

"Nah, no magical stairs. I have no idea what was going on with that. I guess we could ask someone who knows what's going on? There might even be a stone-keeper around somewhere," Kirin reasons.

[Deathkeeper]

Pokemon (You're my best friend)

Moira thinks about it.
"Well, I guess we could look! I mean, would I look cool if I evolved? I probably wouldn't look like such a little kid, at least. So maybe we could ask." She is very cognizant of the possibility that evolving would make her as weird as Kirinirik so probably best that she ask what she's getting into first.

[5a Violista]

[Barmaids and Mermaids]

The mermaid considers those options. She's not sure...she didn't really think it out. All she thought was basically 'oh I'm going to go experience what it's like on land to see if I can understand the land-walkers better'. So she saddled up her crocodile and rode it out.

So, she understandably doesn't know what she wants to see.

Even after giving a moment to think it through, she still doesn't know. "What do you two-leggers normally do?" she asks. Even stairs or trees are okay, if that's what they do: crocodiles can climb both. "I'm hoping to see what kinds of things people normally look at and do what you do."
She wants to be where the people are...

[Earl of Purple]

Well, even if there's nothing immediately valuable in her biological makeup, the not-a-mouse still finds something that may very well prove useful. Slits open up in its neck as it develops gills. There's another, subtler change as well, but that's not apparent even to the mouse itself. All it knows is that suddenly, it feels much hungrier than it did before and it scampers off both to get used to its new organ and to find something on which it can eat.

Currently, it's headed towards the Moon Elf priestess, via as far from the crocodile's mouth as possible.

[Purple Eagle]

Holly feels that she's being looked at, so of course she glances over at the kitsune.

...
She's still being stared at.
She turns again, and it's the same person. She looks for longer, noticing that the woman still stares. What...does she have something on her face? Holly checks...oh, wait, it's still a mask. Maybe she's looking at her scars...? Or maybe her disguise is being seen through?

So, she decides to speak up: "Hello? Can I help you?" she asks.

"I was just pondering the existence of half-elves in this world. I would be a half-elf, but I'm a different type of elf." Swetlana replies, finally speaking for the first time. Her voice is higher-pitched than one would expect. "It's a point of interest for me." She turns her gaze back to her drink, and sniffs at it. "Also, on closer inspection, you seem interesting enough. What's your story?"

[Rebonack]

[Pokemon]

"A nidoqueen is way cooler and less cute," Kirin replies with a nod.

"Also bigger. And stronger," Nirik agrees.

"But moon stones are hard to find. And when one gets used to evolve it's kind of consumed in the process. Most nidorans never evolve."

Rare and hard to come by. Which means~!

"It would be an adventure," Nirik says. "The search for a moon stone. It might be a good way to learn about this place, too."

Does Moira crave adventure?


[Barmaids and Mermaids]

"There are people with more than two legs up here, you know," comes a somewhat irritated voice from a table nearby. Seated there is a sapient giant peacock jumping spider and a lime green equestrian unicorn pony. The latter is busy knitting intricate silk shapes between his forelegs. The latter has a bagel stuck on his horn. Considering the slight sway, it would appear as though the pony is drunk.

Zee doesn't appear to notice them. Or at least she doesn't react.

"Well, I mostly tend to the tavern," Zee replies with an apologetic smile. "So I might not be the best person to ask. The City does have quite a few really nice gardens and art instillations if you want to look at something pretty. There are clubs for music and dancing. Which, umm... might be hard for you?"

Maybe if everyone was doing The Flop?

"There are a few amusement parks if you like rides and games. Sorry I'm not a huge help. It's been way too long since I've just wandered around for fun."

Stupid doom interrupting her all the time.


[The Morbit]

The moon elf doesn't appear to be paying any attention at all. She's more focused on the next round of cards.

"Bad Pookie! Go find something else to bother, we're gambling here," the wizard says, shooing his familiar away.

The completely normal* white rabbit, looking a bit dejected, hops off the table.

And then spots the mouse.

A wide, toothy grin spreads across the definitely not a rabbit's face.

Morbit may be in mortal peril!

*not actually a completely normal white rabbit

[Deathkeeper]

[Pokemon]

Moira looks down at her little claws.
"Something called Big and Queen sounds pretty cool. Um, if it's not too much trouble...it sounds like something fun...?" Kirinirik sounds like they're offering, but she doesn't want to impose on them. After all, they're not obligated to stay with her at all.
But it does sound like something she wants to do. Honestly just the thought burns a hole in her stomach. If there's anything she wants to do after this crazy day, it's do something DARING to get her mind off all these things she doesn't know what to think about.

[5a Violista]

Elfquest

Holly nods, trying to remember her cover story. She's based this off of the fables about elves from her homeland, so it shouldn't be that hard to keep things straight.

She shrugs. "Well, I'm pretty normal. Mother was an elf but because I'm only half of one I'm not as good at flesh-shaping as everyone else so I left the fairy-mirror-land and became a detective-slash-investigator."

That's about it. Nothing elaborate or out of place. Perfectly normal half-elf backstory; probably everyone has heard this one a million times.

"How about you? What are you doing here?"


[Barmaids and Mermaids]

The mermaid feels like she has no choice but to turn and yell at the many-legged occupants of that table. "Guess what? There's also people with more than two legs down there, too," she says. She points at Zee, still facing them. "They're the weird ones. If I wanted to learn about someone with more legs, I could have just stayed at home!"

...
It's usually not good etiquette to call the person who's helping you 'weird'.

"Anyway. Sorry about that." She turns back to the barmaid and goes back to listening.

"Yes, I probably can't dance here." Being stuck in two dimensions, though, can you really call it 'dancing'? Poor land-dwellers, stuck doing imitation dancing with very little verticality involved.

She does find it a little odd that she asked for what people on land normally do, and then immediately being told about parks, places for games, and art. A little funny even. Are their lives seriously that empty and boring that they have to seek out amusement every day? Granted, this probably is the mermaid's fault, for mentioning also wanting to go sight-seeing earlier -- because, she came all this way so might as well do it while she's here, right? -- so it's got to be a misunderstanding. She tries to voice her question in a half-joking way, just in case being on land actually is that boring and everyone has too much free time. "Is life up here really so easy that everyone has that much free time and nothing to do?" she asks. Then, clarifying, she says, "Sure, I'll visit some parks and games later but first I want to do normal people do. Like, markets and shopping? How do you buy stuff when you're stuck on the ground? Busy streets, too, what are they like? I heard that drinking's an activity people do, so that's why I came here. How do people get to work? You know, like...average normal-day things that people do. Unless, going to parks and seeing art is a normal thing. I just want to know what it's like to live a day in the life of a two-legger so that I can understand you people better. How does having two legs influence your psychology and decision-making process? That kind of stuff."

[Earl of Purple]

The Morbit

As this particular entity is a reboot of the original and incapable of speaking, I've been consciously trying *not* to include its prior incarnation's name to encourage somebody to give a new one, maybe. But regardless!

The gilled mouse is hungry, and there's a rabbit ahead. Alas, the rabbit is larger and has... Shockingly large teeth and is triggering instincts the discarded soul-shard did not realise it had- possibly it's being shaped by the host as much as it tries to shape its host. The mouse turns around and starts to run, headed for the party of dorfs as they're closer than the wall and might offer some kind of shelter. And possibly food.