Handbook of Heroes

[DRD1812]

Ah, I never get tired of seeing A-P taking care of Patches the Unkicked.

I really need to bring back Patches the Unkicked the Evil Telephone. It's been a while since we've heard from Demon Queen.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #568: "Tropic of Evil, Part 3/5: Type Cast"

True facts: All D&D islands are Skull Island.

[Agi Hammerthief]

Handbook of Heroes #568: "Tropic of Evil, Part 3/5: Type Cast"

True facts: All D&D islands are Skull Island.

16lvl party after finishing an AP: „let‘s go on an ‚island hopping‘ style vacation“

[DRD1812]

16lvl party after finishing an AP: „let‘s go on an ‚island hopping‘ style vacation“

Heh. I did a "spa vacation" module once upon a time. There was a hot springs elemental that grew out of a love spring's steam. Shenanigans ensue.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #570: "Tropic of Evil, Part 5/5: Volcano God"

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a grand escape
That started from this tropic isle
Aboard a giant ape.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #573: "Cute"

As a matter of interest for all you fantasy ecologists out there, the pseudodragons of Handbook-World share a common ancestor with armadillos.

[Kantaki]

I'm pretty sure they want to eat her.
They are dragons.
Magus is crunchy and goes well with ketchup.
1+2=3.
QED.

[DRD1812]

Magus is crunchy and goes well with ketchup.

*Cat-sup. FTFY. :D

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #576: "Quest Support"

Oh no! If only they'd listened to Quest Giver! Or that crazy peddler outside the dungeon. Or interrogated that kobold. Or made an Intelligence check....

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #578: "Medieval Stasis"

In which Wizard issues the first (and last) speeding ticket in the history of Handbook-World.

[Agi Hammerthief]

Handbook of Heroes #578: "Medieval Stasis"

In which Wizard issues the first (and last) speeding ticket in the history of Handbook-World.

speeding ticket?
did Alchemist assemble that contraption too quickly?

[Kantaki]

speeding ticket?
did Alchemist assemble that contraption too quickly?

Yes. He was several millennia too fast, as far as Wizard is concerned.

[DRD1812]

Yes. He was several millennia too fast, as far as Wizard is concerned.

Ba dum. And also tish.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #580: "Activate Judgment of Judging"

Good thing Quiz is neutral. Otherwise she'd have to put a few cp in the swear jar.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #582: "Monster Creation"

It's nice to have a prompt delivery service. But like... How would even tell if the parts were damaged?

[Kantaki]

And that's why you don't buy your monster kits from IKEA.

[Agi Hammerthief]

And that's why you don't buy your monster kits from IKEA.

hey, three livers = bonus on fortitude saves vs. poison , right?
unless the monster was going to be immune already.

[Kantaki]

hey, three livers = bonus on fortitude saves vs. poison , right?
unless the monster was going to be immune already.

I mean, she's a necromancer, no?
So the monster'd probably be some form of undead.
Poisoning the differently living is generally somewhat tricky in my experience.

Also, it doesn't matter how immune super minion #900 is to anything if you can't assemble it because there are missing parts in the box.

[DRD1812]

hey, three livers = bonus on fortitude saves vs. poison , right?
unless the monster was going to be immune already.

I feel like we've stumbled upon a sweet alternate necromancy system, now with extra crunch! (And also extra livers.)

[DRD1812]

And that's why you don't buy your monster kits from IKEA.

I'm pretty sure this one comes from the *DIE-kea.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #584: "Team Spirit"

NOBODY expects a halfling in body paint! His chief weapon is desperation...desperation and loyalty...loyalty and desperation.... His two weapons are loyalty and desperation...and pathetic puppy dog eyes.... His *three* weapons are loyalty, desperation, and pathetic puppy dog eyes...and an almost fanatical desire to game.... His *four*...no... *Amongst* his weapons.... Amongst his weaponry...are such elements as desperation, loyalty.... I'll come in again.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #586: "Frustration"

If you put on your 3D glasses, the Misplacer Beast will spend its reaction to make fun of your silly appearance.

[Agi Hammerthief]

If you put on your 3D glasses, the Misplacer Beast will spend its reaction to make fun of your silly appearance.

where do I even get 3D glasses of the silly kind?

[Rockphed]

where do I even get 3D glasses of the silly kind?

Where do you get non-silly 3D-glasses? The best are the modern left/right helical polarization lenses, and even they look like really, really cheap sunglasses. The older red/blue ones are incredibly silly looking.

[DRD1812]

where do I even get 3D glasses of the silly kind?

I can't be certain, but I'm guessing Hammerthief space.

[DRD1812]

Where do you get non-silly 3D-glasses? The best are the modern left/right helical polarization lenses, and even they look like really, really cheap sunglasses. The older red/blue ones are incredibly silly looking.

I see that your a misplacer beast. Fair enough. :P

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #588: "Specific Weapon"

In the grim darkness of the cyberpunk future, there are only Karens.

[DRD1812]

Handbook of Heroes #592: "Same Page"

I guess Paladin had one of those tragic orphan backstories.

[Kantaki]

Classic misunderstanding that.
And somehow defenses like "unclear wording" or "poor phrasing" never fly.
No, it's always the necromancer's fault...

[DRD1812]

No, it's always the necromancer's fault...

And she's trying so hard, dammit!