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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Handbook of Heroes #385: Unsurprising

    Sometimes, it's less fun experiencing a surprise twist than crafting one. Dramatic irony is good for you!

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #38:7 Heavy Lies the Crown

    In which our poor unfortunate Wizard is obliged to forever retire from the campaign.

  3. - Top - End - #63
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Handbook of Heroes #389: Desecration

    In which Fighter pisses off the undead.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #391: Decorum

    Have some sympathy for Wizard. It's not easy being a serious-face RP type in the company of murderhobos.
    Last edited by DRD1812; 2019-06-06 at 10:32 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #393: Improvised Weapons

    Nunchuck franks! Rump roast great club! Side of beef tower shield! Throwing pork chops! Side of coleslaw!

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    I guess that steak's seasoned with garlic.

    Also, I could almost pity Summoner.
    If he didn't more than deserve it.
    So I'm gonna cheer the ladys on instead.
    I would recommend gagging him though...
    Last edited by Kantaki; 2019-06-15 at 03:36 PM.
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  7. - Top - End - #67
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Quote Originally Posted by Kantaki View Post
    I guess that steak's seasoned with garlic.
    If I was that vamp, I'd be adding salt to the mix. "It's a homophone your jerks! That's not how it works! Hissss!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Kantaki View Post
    Also, I could almost pity Summoner.
    If he didn't more than deserve it.
    So I'm gonna cheer the ladys on instead.
    I would recommend gagging him though...
    Like an under-leveled wizard in a solo-adventure, dude needs to pick his battles.

    Also like an under-leveled wizard in a solo-adventure, it amuses me no end imagining the carnage.

  8. - Top - End - #68
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Handbook of Heroes #395: Dominate Hair

    Alternate title: Necromancer and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hair Day.

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #397: No Quest Too Small

    In which Magus learns a harsh lesson about reading the small print.

  10. - Top - End - #70
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    I'm with Magus on this one.
    Dead or Alive is the default assumption with Wanted posters*.
    If dead isn't a option you have to specify so beforehand.
    Besides, it's the hedgehog's fault for fighting back.
    Had it come with Magus peacefully everything would be fine.

    *And what else is a lost pet flyer if not a Wanted poster?
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  11. - Top - End - #71
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Didn't that hedgehog used to be bigger?
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  12. - Top - End - #72
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Honest Tiefling's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Didn't that hedgehog used to be bigger?
    I feel like this isn't the first time the Witch has needed to get a new familar, even if she didn't kill them herself. She probably doesn't live the safest of lifestyles, and a few do-gooders probably know to attack a witch's familiar, no matter how cute.

    But yes, it does look a wee bit smaller, but that could just be the art style. Unless you are referring THAT comic, and I have completely missed the joke again.
    Last edited by Honest Tiefling; 2019-06-27 at 12:43 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oko and Qailee View Post
    Man, I like this tiefling.
    For all of your completely and utterly honest needs. Zaydos made, Tiefling approved.

  13. - Top - End - #73
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Didn't that hedgehog used to be bigger?
    Well yeah. But Animal Growth is only a 1 mim/lvl spell.

  14. - Top - End - #74
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #400: Unholy Heals

    There's some debate between the writing team and the art team over the correct number on this comic. The website says it #400, the art files say it's #401. In either case, that's a ****load of comics.

    We suggest you celebrate by coming on down to the Temple of the Goodly Gods. Bring your coupon for one free healz! (Expires 4/24/1998.)

  15. - Top - End - #75
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Meh, why bother with healing when you can... encourage* some NPCs to fix your buddies?

    *Pay them, speechify about the importance of your quest, blackmail, threaten them and their loved ones, do the same with innocents, start going through with those threats, sing...
    Even befriending them is a option.
    Whatever it takes to get those idiots you're stuck with nursed back to health.
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  16. - Top - End - #76
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Honest Tiefling's Avatar

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Or you know...Seduce one. Since she's a succubus. Sorta what they do?
    Quote Originally Posted by Oko and Qailee View Post
    Man, I like this tiefling.
    For all of your completely and utterly honest needs. Zaydos made, Tiefling approved.

  17. - Top - End - #77
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kantaki View Post
    *Pay them, speechify about the importance of your quest, blackmail, threaten them and their loved ones, do the same with innocents, start going through with those threats, sing...
    Even befriending them is a option.
    Is that the preferred order of operations? :P

  18. - Top - End - #78
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Or you know...Seduce one. Since she's a succubus. Sorta what they do?
    Circumstance penalties. Priest and Acolyte aren't attracted to fiends.

  19. - Top - End - #79
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #401: Subbing In

    He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
    Last edited by DRD1812; 2019-07-11 at 07:21 AM.

  20. - Top - End - #80
    Titan in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    If the number of dismembered would-be heroes is directly proportional to the amount of treasure in a monster lair, whatever is in that cave should easily pay for his resurrection anyway.
    “Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, it's all the same. Proportions are negotiated, boundaries blurred. I'm not a pious hermit, I haven't done only good in my life. But if I'm to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

  21. - Top - End - #81
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    As coldhearted as she's beautiful...*
    And now I'm imagining Wizard sounding like Boa Hancock...

    Quote Originally Posted by DRD1812 View Post
    Is that the preferred order of operations? :P
    For the „hired help”?
    Probably.
    The list is arranged in ascending order of vileness though.

    *Yet wise enough not to demand the impossible of her underlings.
    A true leader!
    Last edited by Kantaki; 2019-07-11 at 12:25 PM.
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  22. - Top - End - #82
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kantaki View Post
    As coldhearted as she's beautiful...*
    And now I'm imagining Wizard sounding like Boa Hancock...
    Interestingly, Wizard does know the flesh to stone spell.

  23. - Top - End - #83
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    If the number of dismembered would-be heroes is directly proportional to the amount of treasure in a monster lair, whatever is in that cave should easily pay for his resurrection anyway.
    I asked for a "big scary monster" in the script. I suspect that "whatever is in that cave" is a PokéStop. *grumble grumble*

  24. - Top - End - #84
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #403: Advantageous Position


    THIEF: "Look at that thing's field of vision. I specifically moved to stand to its left. That's CLEARLY advantage."
    Last edited by DRD1812; 2019-07-18 at 07:11 AM.

  25. - Top - End - #85
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    Haw Haw
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  26. - Top - End - #86
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #405: "From Hell's Heart"

    I don't know who that mourner lady is, but I do know that her first action in initiative will involve frantically beating Cleric with a black umbrella.

  27. - Top - End - #87
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    I mean at least he noticed before he reached the waiting cloud.
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



  28. - Top - End - #88
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kantaki View Post
    I mean at least he noticed before he reached the waiting cloud.
    I feel like Wizard would be far happier on that cloud. Lots of good exposition up there.

  29. - Top - End - #89
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Handbook of Heroes #407: "Aura of Personal Space"

    In which The Anti-Party get all up ons.

  30. - Top - End - #90
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Handbook of Heroes

    I'm kinda with his buddys there.
    If you got something that keeps the icky things away you stick as close as possible to it.

    And yes, paladins count as something.
    They're basically robots anyway.
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

    Ronkong Coma "the way of the bookhunter" III Catacombium
    (Walter Moers "Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher")



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