Silly Plots 3: With government backing we can make it very silly

[WarKitty]

Desert Jacuzzi

Latrans is in a silky set of swim shorts, showing off a very well-muscled torso. Well, in that case, Kray, care to joing me? he comments as he slips into the pool.

[Deathkeeper]

Desert Jacuzzi

Kray smiles and slips into the pool.
”Well, you’re certainly trying hard. I’ll warn you; I live in a merc dormitory. I don’t really have any room for you to follow me home.” she warns him. The water is so warm. She doesn’t think she’s done this before.

[WarKitty]

Desert Jacuzzi

Latrans smiles. I'm sure on a lovely moonlit night like this we needn't worry about dorms he intones, leaning in slowly for a kiss.

[Deathkeeper]

Desert Jacuzzi

Kray looks up at the moon. Yeah, she supposes you could certainly do worse in venue. Do worse for a night. Do worse for a curse. Really, things haven’t turned out nearly as bad as they ought to have done.
Kissing isn’t really a thing in her old clan. It’s more of a local humanoid thing. Eswil was one of the first-no that doesn’t count that much; it was rather chaste. She won’t count Rassa. There was nothing real with that witch. And now some magic stranger wants to be be next? Sure.
She supposes she could certainly do worse there, too.

[WarKitty]

Desert Jacuzzi

As the kiss connects, Kray(ger) suddenly...finds himself back in his old body again! And frankly looking ridiculous in the swimsuit, which now has bags at the chest and a rather uncomfortable bulge lower down.

[Deathkeeper]

Desert Jacuzzi

Well, if Krayger could blush he would. He settles for wincing and surreptitiously pulling a few strings free.
”Well. That. Works that out.” He looks down. ”I won’t tell anyone if you won’t?” are there even rules about that sort of thing?

[WarKitty]

Desert Jacuzzi

Latrans grins and leans in for another kiss. Hey, works for me either way. I have my doubts that this is going to be completely permanent though, but I'm no expert.

[Deathkeeper]

Desert Jacuzzi

Krayger can do nothing against Latrans’ perfectly executed scheme.
”Well, sounds good. I’ll take ‘mostly permanent’ over nothing. But I thought you magic types had it all figured out.”

[WarKitty]

Desert Jacuzzi

I'm afraid I don't. But perhaps we will find out more later? With that, the man waves a hand and Krayger finds himself in his quarters at MERC, although still in a swimsuit and with the smell of desert and water around him...

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Quest]

Corvus nods and bows formally as well, but doesn't speak. Willa is doing well enough by herself for the moment, so there's no reason for him to muddle things.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Quest]

Willa bows formally.
”Good day, honored one. My companion and I come to your domain on errantry. We seek something called ‘living wood’ by the elf who called for my aid.” she explains, trying to be as simple and formal as possible. Don’t want to get anyone angry.

[An Epic Quest]

Corvus nods and bows formally as well, but doesn't speak. Willa is doing well enough by herself for the moment, so there's no reason for him to muddle things.

[An Epic Quest]

Sheikh Diaw raises his eyebrows as he looks at Willa. "Far be it for me to question dealings between spirits, but even in this desolate land there are living trees to be found." The man seems amused. Has he found himself in the middle of some game? "Perhaps it's a particular tree you seek?"

[Deathkeeper]

An Epic Quest

Willa nods her head.
”Pardon the vague turn of phrase. That is what she asked of me originally. I believe the other phrase they used was an ancestor tree? The ones of the ancient drow.”
Willa hopes that’s correct because she was not actually given a description of the wood. Just what it is, not what it looks like.

[Nova_Eclipse]

An Epic Quest

Corvus stands and watches the sheik for any sign of hostility. Based on what they learned at MERC, these people might not be inclined to tell two outsiders where to find this sacred wood. It is, after all, a treasure for these people. They're not likely to part with it easily.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Quest]

"Oh, really? Those trinkets the natives call magic?" The sheikh leans back in his throne with a perplexed look. "I'm not sure what a being such as yourself would desire such primitive magic for, but I'm not one to question the whims of fey. But why did you come to us?"

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Quest]

Well, at least she can start to piece together what they think she is.
"I consulted with a lesser spirit which told me that a piece of the wood is in this region. I could not get a specific location, so I figured that it would be either in the nearest settlement, or someone here might be able to tell me where there were people around who might be in possession of it." she puts simply. Sounds like they struck out on this one.

[Arkhosia]

[YLEF - Cut off the head, and you can claim the loot for free later!]

Suzie's disgust at Alex's garish outfit is obvious to see. A tentacle strays towards the new outfit she has tucked away for him, as if thinking that surely it'd be worth getting him into that thing just to spare him (and her eyes) from this abomination!

She also snatches one of the lanyards with another tentacle, twirling the loop around it and...keeping it there, instead of wearing it around her neck like a sensible person would do.

"Loot? Loot? HAH!" She poses dramatically, pointing a tentacle in roughly the direction she figures Alex's ex-boss is probably in (almost certainly in completely the wrong direction) "No, my minions! We shall not let ourselves be distracted by trinkets and toys! We go straight for our target! We shall be on him before he even knows what's happening! And once he has fallen and his lair is leaderless, then we shall take what we wish with no one there to oppose us! MINION A! LEAD THE WAY!" The krakengirl has spoken. Straight after the boss it is.

YLEF - Onward Kraken Soldiers!

Suzie may wear her disgust on her sleeve - or, that is to say, lack of sleeves - but as usual, Marina chooses to be more tactful in her response. Namely, she makes an effort to stifle the fit of giggling that comes over her after looking at Alex's ridiculous getup. She takes a lanyard and, somewhat unfamiliar with the item, follows her mistress's lead by looping it around her wrist before looping it around again to tie it in a knot. Never can be too safe, especially with how cavalier Marina can be!

[Gullara]

[An Epic Quest]

Diaw folds his hands and thinks for a moment. "There are visitors here that have been excavating some of the natives' ruins. Perhaps they've found what you speak of. My people can guide you to the inn they're staying at and you can ask them yourself."

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Quest]

Willa bows.
”Thank you. That would be most welcome.” Well it might be a lead. Or not. If they’re lucky they can just trade something for a piece of the wood.
But Willa knows she won’t be lucky.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Quest]

"My people will accompany you as long as you remain within our walls. Go about your task peaceably. You are dismissed." The sheikh says no more and they might notice the guard that had originally guided them here is waiting just outside the entrance to the room.

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Quest]

Willa bows and goes over to the man.
"You must be our guide, then? By all means." she tells him with a smile.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Quest]

Corvus bows politely to the sheikh and follows Willa quietly. He nods to the guard, but says nothing for now.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Quest]

"I'll show you the inn. You'll figure your own way around after that. We'll be watching." He explains with a frown. Without any ceremony, he turns and starts to lead the way out. Similar to before, they attract a lot of looks walking down the street. Unless they want to interrupt, he'll bring them to a two story stone building with a flat top roof. There's the sound of some activity inside, but it's fairly quiet. Of course, the evening is just approaching.

Their guide stops a short way from the inn and turns to them. "Ask about an 'Azul'. These people aren't all that personable from what I've heard, but that's one of their names."

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Quest]

Willa nods and thanks the guide for his help. Once they’re alone she turns to Corvus and whispers to him,
”Maybe you should handle the talking on this one. If they really are paranoid they might respond better to the one they don’t think is a mythical creature.” Who are these backwards people, mistaking centaurs as great magical beings anyway? This place is bizarre. They certainly won’t have any rooms built for her. Willa refuses to sleep in a stable.

[billtodamax]

Gothic Cathedral

Blue will find his way, after a time, to a secluded grove between two hills. Here the trees start to thin until visible through the brush comes an overgrown temple - stonework crumbling in places, with vines constricting the buttresses and curling their way up to a long since shattered stained glass window. The heavy oak doors are still standing - although starting to show some signs of age - and are sealed shut with a note. As he approaches he might see, up high, a flash of movement in a window - or is it just a trick of the light? The sun is streaming dappled through the canopy, glinting in strange patterns off of the shards of glass lying around the front of temple.

If by chance you have stumbled upon this ruin turn back. There are no treasures here worth the price.

Kaliber Mah Shakti De

The note appears stuck to the door by some form of magic, but like the rest of the cathedral it is dilapidated and ruined, the top of the note already starting to peel away.

[Hattish Thing]

Gothic Cathedral

Against all odds, Blue arrives at the correct destination, the small, battered spaceship he's currently utilizing as transport barely managing the landing without crumbling into dozens of broken parts. However, the moment the ship lands, great plumes of smoke burst out of an exposed system of pipes under the thing, rising up lazily into the air. The treasure hunter stumbles, mostly empty bottle in hand, out of the spaceship, tripping a little before falling a little, collapsing onto a knee. After a few choice curses, Blue rises up, his legs wobbly, posture limp, before promptly tossing the bottle against a nearby rock.

Completely oblivious to any sort of shadow in the stained glass window, Blue begins to do a few more stretches, checking up on his equipment before retrieving his battered rifle from his back. Moving forward, he notices the seemingly garbled note upon the door. "Hell does... what." Begrudgingly, Blue reaches up gingerly to tap at a few buttons at the side of his goggles, sliding through several complicated modes before settling upon a translator scan. After five minutes of set-up, mostly spent tapping at the poorly-maintained goggles, the weird writings ought to be translated for him in all their specifics.

This was a fairly disconcertingly crumbly structure. Still, if the man were in the business of obeying warning signs, he wouldn't have chosen this profession.

[billtodamax]

Gothic Cathedral

After a moment the translator eventually spits out the result: Kaliber grant me strength.

Seems like some sort of prayer.

The wind starts to pick up, driving a chill through the valley.

[Hattish Thing]

Gothic Cathedral

After snatching the note and stuffing it in a pocket, Blue attempts to use the tip of his rifle to open the door wide, activating the flashlight mode built into his goggles in order to illuminate the inner area.

"Got all the strength I'll ever need riiiight here, note guy."

[billtodamax]

Gothic Cathedral

Inside Blue is greeted first by a statue of a woman with 6 arms, sitting cross-legged with a swathe of fabric over her lap. Each of her arms is extended outwards, holding something different - a bowl, a knife, a skull, a revolver, a semi-automatic pistol, and a submachine-gun. She has a spiked crown and a strip of bullets around her neck that trail down her torso, preserving her modesty. Her eyes - all three of them, one in the middle of her forehead - look like they might have once been set with precious gems, but are now just empty holes. Her hair streams down her back in an untamed mane.

Underneath the statue is an empty pool, the bottom set with cracked and dirty tiles. To each side of the statue is a short hallway that leads into a larger room. The temple smells dusty and still, no sound but his own breathing.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Quest]

Corvus nods to the man as he takes his leave, then eyes Willa for a moment, his expression somewhere between surprised and amused.

"Well, I suppose I can, though if they think you're some sort of mythical being, don't you think they'd be more inclined to listen?", he asks, just as quietly.

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Quest]

"I-ugh-maybe? Look just take point this once, okay Corvus? You're tough, and these are tough guys probably. You speak their language better than me."
Willa is just a farmhand turned student turned rancher turned knightess turned witch turned shaman. None of those involve possibly dangerous treasure hunters or whatever these people end up being.