Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[noob]

* The Emperor is not my character's sugar daddy.
** My character is not the official pimp of the Inquisition.
*** Nor is he the lead software engineer in charge of backdoors for tech priest implants.
**** Has not won the millenial dark eldar "All Galaxy Hickey & Wedgie Olympics" three times running.
***** Khorne is not his Saturday night drinking buddy.
****** The thing about time travel & the ork genome is a no-go.
******* I am no longer allowed to write character backstory in games where the GM approves them without reading them.

The only weird thing in the list is the fact gms that approves for backstories without reading sometimes asks for backstories.

[Bohandas]

*I cannot have the PCs fight a motorhome that's been cursed to come alive and experience an unquenchable thirst for fresh human blood and insatiable hunger for fresh human flesh.

Does this remind anyone else of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever episode about the evil man eating bus

[PhoenixPhyre]

Does this remind anyone else of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever episode about the evil man eating bus

Wait...that can't taste very good--all that metal and stuff.

Spoiler

Show

I read that first as (evil man) (eating [a] bus)

[Anonymouswizard]

Wait...that can't taste very good--all that metal and stuff.

Spoiler

Show

I read that first as (evil man) (eating [a] bus)

Ah, the Audrey II Ambiguity.

[BisectedBrioche]

* The purpose of the Phantom rogue subclass's abilities is not to provide free tuition in downtime.
** Even if it needs to be good for something before level 9.

** While the DM'll allow it, one of the "spirits" turned out to have been a hag you accidentally made a deal with in session -1. Have fun.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am not allowed to fiddle with the ship's FTL drive.
** Or engines.
*** My plan cannot boil down to 'jump on the ship, accelerate to near-c, wait a few years, flip the ship around, come back when the bad guy has died of old age'.
**** Especially if this is just an excuse to steal their new longevity treatment.

[HeraldOfExius]

* I cannot bypass Sending's 25 word limit by merging words into never-before-used compound words.
** New portmanteaus are not allowed either (even if "magisguise" should be a real word in a setting where magical disguises exist).
*** "That's not a word" means that I should find a different way to say something, not that I can say it as much as I want without using up any of my 25 words.
**** No matter how many languages my character speaks, none of them can convey more information in less words.
***** Nor can I combine multiple languages into a more efficient pidgin.
****** Even if the GM and I both know another language, I cannot borrow more efficient words from it.
******* I will never have a good enough reason to say "Schaufensterspiegelbild" in-character.

[danielxcutter]

You know, Sending does get weird in other languages. Like Korean or Chinese.

[Telok]

Been hanging on to this one for a while...

* The character's bond, flaw, and ideal cannot all be the same thing.
** Especially not when it is the phrase "More _____ than Slaanesh".
*** When the game instructions for character creation include something where you roll, pick from a list or range, or make up something, I may no longer "make up something" without first standing up, loudly announcing my intended "made up", and getting buy-in from everyone there.



**** No waiting until everyone else is breaking for the bathroom, a smoke, or the pizza delivery, and getting the buy-in from the other lunatic in the group.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I cannot bypass Sending's 25 word limit by merging words into never-before-used compound words.

Oh that doesn't matter, I'll just give my Sending in-

[/QUOTE]**** No matter how many languages my character speaks, none of them can convey more information in less words.[/QUOTE]

...has your GM ever heard of German?

For anybody who doesn't know, some languages like German tend towards compound words for common constructions. In a setting where wizards learn in schools and magical communication with strict word limits exist such languages will likely be widely spoken simply to convey more information per spell. I think Mandarin does the same thing, I don't actually speak it anywhere fluently enough to be certain but I've definitely seen words that seem to be built of other words (one of the first words you leanr, nihao [please excause the lack of tones, not sure how to type them] is one such word).


* It's Unarmoured Defence, not Unclothed Defence.
** Just pants is not enough, I also need trousers.
*** You know what, I need a full outfit including a hat.

[Eldan]

* I cannot bypass Sending's 25 word limit by merging words into never-before-used compound words.

Welcome to the fun of playing in German, where our DM also added a letter restriction on top of the word restriction. I think it was 500 letters, or thereabouts. Or maybe it was "3 lines of normally written text", it's been a while. What do you mean I can not make up a new words that say "The bad guy is at the eastern temple" and "his army consists of 25000 orcs and undead", it's perfectly gramatically viable.

Edit: Yeah, as the poster above me said. Words can be arbitrarily long in German and can contain any amount of information. Though mostly just compound nouns, with ever more elaborate descriptions.

That said:
******No, I may not spend 25 minutes trying to plot out new nouns for a sending. It's not that important.

[Rater202]

If the rest of the party are playing traditional superhero types, I can't be a Resident Evil boss.

[Lord Raziere]

If the rest of the party are playing traditional superhero types, I can't be a Resident Evil boss.

* My superhero concepts cannot be "heroic Vampire", "friendly humanoid xenomorph/tyranid knockoff", "Arrancar ripoff", "heroic demon", "Dr. Doom-esque former evil overlord trying to redeem themselves" or "kaiju forced into mostly human form an given sapience who can temporarily turn back into their kaiju form to fight"
** even if I can point to actual comics with heroic vampires and demons
*** and isn't the arrancar and kaiju concepts basically the same thing anyways?
**** If the sentence starts with "Himiko Toga but..." its not allowed
***** A superhero wielding the powers of death and darkness is not any better.
****** Fair Folk superheroes are not allowed either, even if I can point to actual superheroes who are that.
******* "Former assassin" is not allowed either....even if I can point to two Batman sidekicks who are exactly that.
******** My attempt at a traditional superhero cannot be a meta-commentary on the various forms they've had over the years by making a superhero who can shapeshift between their various versions of themselves through the comic book ages to show how what makes a superhero is a thing that is constantly changing with the times
********* cannot make a deadpool expy to just snark at everything if all those fail.

[Eldan]

Why would anyone have a problem with "heroic vampire". Those have been a thing for... 40, 50 years by now? And there's probably as many as evil vampires, especially if we also count media for children and teenagers.

[Anonymouswizard]

Because they more feel overplayed compared to monstrous vampires? That's the midst likely reason as far as I understand it.


* I must stop creating superheroes who's powers are specifically designed to cause as much collateral damage as possible.
** Giving everybody within half s mile cancer counts as collateral damage.
*** Microwaves are banned as well as gamma rays, no setting everything on fire.

[Spore]

Edit: Yeah, as the poster above me said. Words can be arbitrarily long in German and can contain any amount of information. Though mostly just compound nouns, with ever more elaborate descriptions.

It is mostly just words created from the need of avoiding foreign words in German, and as such usually compound words for official use like Grundstücksverkehrsgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübert ragungsverordnung, which translates to "property traffic approval responsibility transfer regulation".

* These are not magic words or truenames that summon up the most boring denizens of Hell, even if they are the paramounts of lawful evil-ness.

[danielxcutter]

...I was going to joke that bureaucrat devils are not a thing, but then again it's Baator. And now that I think of it, I think there literally were devils that specialize in that.

[Lord Raziere]

Why would anyone have a problem with "heroic vampire". Those have been a thing for... 40, 50 years by now? And there's probably as many as evil vampires, especially if we also count media for children and teenagers.

Because they more feel overplayed compared to monstrous vampires? That's the midst likely reason as far as I understand it.

Spoiler: Tangent

Show

Yes, that. To go into more detail, the fact that they feel overplayed, the fact the Twilight books kind of took it to a laughable extreme that people have made many jokes about, and the fact in roleplaying the main game for playing vampires is Vampire the Requiem/Masquerade and those are very of the "vampires are monstrous" school of thought and while its possible to non-monstrous in them you can't really be heroic since its a horror game and the requirements are a bit strict, feels like it weighs views a bit in that direction. that and traditional superheroes (namely DC/Marvel) both have heroic vampires, they're not exactly A-Listers, not something you see on the Justice League or the Avengers, y'know? even though the Hulk is basically a modern mad science version of a werewolf....or Jekyll/Hyde but those are similar enough concepts I feel.

that and there is the whole bloodsucking thing. daywalking vampires, thats practically required for a heroic one so so the dies in sunlight thing can be easily thrown out, the problem is how to handle the bloodsucking, and if you lean too far into the "vegetarian vampire" thing, its like what is the cost there man, how is that a curse, but with traditional superheroes there are expectations that run counter to it too much of a curse, as the expectations with that is that you don't kill criminals, you beat them up and take them to jail even if they are a dangerous supervillain and sucking out a criminals blood might taint the tone a bit, like the bloodsucking kind of makes you wander towards anti-heroism or a X-men/marvel universe at the very least when they might want something more like DC's Justice League or something, ever since the 90's there has been a bit of stigma against making superheroes too dark and vampire superhero sounds exactly like the 90's edge many superhero fans want to avoid.....

so I being the person who wants to do things well is just constantly thinking about how to execute such a heroic vampire well, so that it doesn't just not clash....but makes something good from it, a character that makes the story work, something memorable, something that people can enjoy to some degree. something that allows the vampire to be heroic in a way thats plausible and workable and not something that comes from a parody. my current thoughts are that the heroic vampire either just treats the whole bloodsucking thing as just another aspect of "with great power comes great responsibility" or they were found by organization before they sucked blood from anyone (a big emphasis would be put on how much the character would be willing to starve themselves so as to not harm others) that altered them to be less monstrous than normal with some experiment or procedure that only works if they haven't sucked any blood that is then destroyed by monstrous vampires in classic superhero fashion so they're the only one with this new less monstrous state, haven't worked out the details.

* May not make a pollution drinking vampire
** Or depression drinking vampire that makes people happy when you suck away their sadness
*** Any vampire that drains bad things from people is not allowed
**** Not even if there is an anime with that exact concept/premise

* May not try to parody/take apart the 90's anti-hero by taking one and make them an old veteran who has been doing this for 20-30 years now since then and has mellowed out, bought or invented various nonlethal bullets and is now just a gun version of Green Arrow, but will bust out the lethal guns when a big enough threat arrives.

* Trying to make a superhero out of Nergigante from MHW is not going to work

[Calthropstu]

Why would anyone have a problem with "heroic vampire". Those have been a thing for... 40, 50 years by now? And there's probably as many as evil vampires, especially if we also count media for children and teenagers.

I am now making a super villian vampire who markets heroic vampires to children so it will be easier for vampires to lure children away.

His name will be Count Media.

[danielxcutter]

I am now making a super villian vampire who markets heroic vampires to children so it will be easier for vampires to lure children away.

His name will be Count Media.

That... actually sounds legit.

Also am I missing a reference?

[Calthropstu]

That... actually sounds legit.

Also am I missing a reference?

Reread eldan's post. It was a pun off his post.

[danielxcutter]

Reread eldan's post. It was a pun off his post.

I - oh, damnit.

[Calthropstu]

I - oh, damnit.

*satisfied nod*

[TeChameleon]

* Telling the ancient vampire what a ludicrous drama queen they are is probably not an optimal survival strategy, evil party or not. Especially when they're orders of magnitude more powerful than the entire party put together.
** Pointing out that the two ancient vampires that control most of the empire between them are acting like spoiled toddlers who both think the other got more candy than they did... also somewhat suboptimal when it comes to survival.
*** Complaining that the various 'rewards' offered one's character are pretty much unintentional death sentences... okay, starting to wonder whether me or the DM is worse at being evil

(if the death sentence rewards were deliberate, then sure, the DM is doing evil pretty well, but I'm 90% certain that they're supposed to be actual rewards...)

[danielxcutter]

* Telling the ancient vampire what a ludicrous drama queen they are is probably not an optimal survival strategy, evil party or not. Especially when they're orders of magnitude more powerful than the entire party put together.
** Pointing out that the two ancient vampires that control most of the empire between them are acting like spoiled toddlers who both think the other got more candy than they did... also somewhat suboptimal when it comes to survival.
*** Complaining that the various 'rewards' offered one's character are pretty much unintentional death sentences... okay, starting to wonder whether me or the DM is worse at being evil

(if the death sentence rewards were deliberate, then sure, the DM is doing evil pretty well, but I'm 90% certain that they're supposed to be actual rewards...)

Depends on the rewards. What were they?

[noob]

Depends on the rewards. What were they?

I like to imagine it is stuff like "I will let you see the light of the sun once I rule over my empire of shadows" proposed to a vampire(because the gm forgot the pc was a vampire).

[Bohandas]

that and traditional superheroes (namely DC/Marvel) both have heroic vampires, they're not exactly A-Listers, not something you see on the Justice League or the Avengers, y'know?

Not in Justice Leafue or Avengers true, but Blade still got three movies

[danielxcutter]

I like to imagine it is stuff like "I will let you see the light of the sun once I rule over my empire of shadows" proposed to a vampire(because the gm forgot the pc was a vampire).

I mean if the means are provided to prevent spontaneous combustion as well...

[Rater202]

Actually, Blade's been an Avenger Twice: Once in the Mighty Avengers and currently, he's part of the main roster.

The Main Roster currently consists of Black Panther(current chairmen) Captain America, Iron Man, All-Father Thor, Captain Marvel, She-Hulk(who has been empowered to the point of surpassing The Green Scar in strength) Roberto Reyes(The most powerful Ghost Rider in recorded history, albeit far less experienced than the likes of Jonny or Danny,) Blade, and most recently Echo, who is the current host of the Phoenix Force.

Doctor Strange is also a reserve member, and the Black Panther has created the "Agents of Wakanda," consisting of Gorillaman, Fat Cobra, The Wasp, Mocking Bird, Manwolff, Ka-Zar, Broo, Doctor Nemesis, American Eagle, and Roz Solomon(Former Agent of SHIELD.) Ursa Major is also a member, but he's undercover: Officially he's part of Russia's Winter Guard(The Red Room is doing something shady again.)

There also used to be a Strikeforce, consisting of Wiccan, Winter Soldier, Spider-Woman, Spectrum, Angela, and Daimon Hellstrom: Son of Satan serving directly under Blade, but they elected to disband after resolving the issue that forced their formation rather than stay on as the Avengers Covert ops.

Odin was also serving as an advisor up until The War of the Realms, where he abdicated the Throne of Asgard to Thor and then went on a bender across the galaxy.

[Lord Raziere]

Not in Justice League or Avengers true, but Blade still got three movies

Sure I guess....

Edit: @ Rater, not all of us have a near encyclopedic knowledge of marvel comics, Rater. when I speak of things like this, I speak of general trends and expectations.

* Commander Shepard cannot be so bad at driving the Mako that she somehow makes it spin and flip everywhere, bounce between buildings, somehow fly upside down, then proceed to go off planet, achieve FTL speeds no mass effect drive can replicate only to fly through the entire universe during which the hyperspace around the mako becomes a multi-colored drug trip like landscape shifts to plaid, shifts to lovecraftian horrors shifts to various other surreal things, only then to loop back around to land on the planet she took off from right at their destination and get off as if nothing happened
** nor can Haru Okumura be so bad at driving that the car around her becomes a fireball expanding to fill the entire road and angels and demons suddenly burst from the flames to fight each other while she speeds as fast possible, an epic battle playing out around them as the entire road become a flaming tornado tunnel then when she hits maximum speed they somehow crash into their destination...but then they wake up and the car is just fine, Haru says nothing out of the ordinary happened even though you swear that wasn't a dream
*** bad driving does not lead to absurd trippy surreal sequences that make no sense and affect nothing to mess with the PCs and players or to be funny.

* I cannot be so indecisive and uncertain about a characters powers and themes that I give them cosplay powers so they theoretically can have any power needed for what I want
** The cosplays can't be nothing but references to other characters and works I like
*** Can't hide what those references are with flowery Exalted like names such as "Prismatic Caprine Angel", "Stubborn Inferno Detective", "Onyx Scissor Heroine", "Fallen Infinite Blade Hero" or "Azure Skeleton of Judgement"
**** "Emerald Drills of Hope" is too obvious and fooling no one.