Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[LordCdrMilitant]

* Yes, Khorne is the god of Blood. No, that does not also make him the god of Genealogy.

That would be Slaanesh, I think. Maybe Tzeentch, depending on your intended use of genealogy.

* high yield homemade explosives are not a melee weapon

Ha! Just watch me!

I've had multiple parties involve characters using large amounts of demolition charges in close quarters. Sometimes, they even survive.

Once one of my Deathwatch Space Marines counted on failing his demolitions check by 4 degrees, so it would go off in his hands, and was using a carefully selected amount of charges so that he would probably live but all the guys around him probably wouldn't.

More recently, a Dark Heresy character set of 30 kilograms of explosives he was carrying in an attempt to explode a Lord Discordant who was in melee with him.

[jintoya]

I'm just going to as this one preemptively before today's session

* You may not hide behind utilitarianism to explain cannibalism
** You cannot use preform (music) to soften the blow about cannibalism and make it a laughing matter

* You are no longer allowed to be scarier than the DM when buying vague minerals under the explanation "it's just for plan B, no worries"
** "Plan B" may no longer be thermite.

I suspect these would be here tonight anyways, so I'm just adding them now.

[Guizonde]

this one goes for my team.

*no more making the beloved 5-campaign veteran dmpc cry ever again.

Spoiler: dreaded context

Show

seriously, even the new players were heartbroken, and they don't know the moral attachment the rest of the group has to the guy. he's canonically loved for being the nicest guy in the universe, and they turned him into a weeping wreck after he destroyed 2 rat-ogres single-handedly in close quarters. so far, we've been 4 different dm's to use the guy as our stand-in for upholding morality. everybody loves him.

[Personification]

* Jumping off the roof and landing on a foe does require an attack role
** You do not get to use the rules on falling debris, even if you are a warforged
*** you cannot conspire with the spellcasters to abuse enlarge person for special "meteor strike" moves

****This may not be my character concept.

[Imbalance]

*Just because our warlock deftly deceived the mermaid queen as to who slew her daughters and we all successfully beat her charm song doesn't mean I should expect her to be impressed when offering to compensate for their loss and bargain for the captive sailors with the two-headed worm in a box.
**Especially considering that it has never been well-received by anyone else any other time we tried to smooth things over.
***"Do you seriously still have that thing?"
****It is not "well-trained."
*****Her callously dumping it into the water was an act of disgust, not evidence of arousal.
******There is no reason to cheer, "go wormy!" after she fails all of her targeted spell attempts in the ensuing battle.
*******Flooding the chamber Is a lair action, not a result of self-gratification.
********You should not interpret her murderous rage as "needing help with that."

[Personification]

*Just because our warlock deftly deceived the mermaid queen as to who slew her daughters and we all successfully beat her charm song doesn't mean I should expect her to be impressed when offering to compensate for their loss and bargain for the captive sailors with the two-headed worm in a box.

Anything on the trinket table goes into the locked spot in your inventory where you can't use it, remove it, or sell it until the specific point at which it becomes necessary to the plot.

[Imbalance]

Anything on the trinket table goes into the locked spot in your inventory where you can't use it, remove it, or sell it until the specific point at which it becomes necessary to the plot.

Please show me any plot where the two headed worm in a box became necessary. I am genuinely curious how this thing could possibly be used non-comedically. We first acquired it in a random barter to find a gift to hopefully appease our sorceress. Didn't work. I then offered it to a jilted former lover. Rejected again. So it's been clanking around in my backpack for weeks. I keep feeding it and checking on it kinda like a pet, but more like...keeping bait looking lively. I thought for sure the mermaids would go for it, but now it may be gone for good. I just hope you're not telling me that at some session down the road the party will find a dire need for a two headed worm, and I'll end up kicking myself that I didn't immediately dive under her to save it.

On second thought, I actually hope that happens.

[Personification]

Please show me any plot where the two headed worm in a box became necessary. I am genuinely curious how this thing could possibly be used non-comedically. We first acquired it in a random barter to find a gift to hopefully appease our sorceress. Didn't work. I then offered it to a jilted former lover. Rejected again. So it's been clanking around in my backpack for weeks. I keep feeding it and checking on it kinda like a pet, but more like...keeping bait looking lively. I thought for sure the mermaids would go for it, but now it may be gone for good. I just hope you're not telling me that at some session down the road the party will find a dire need for a two headed worm, and I'll end up kicking myself that I didn't immediately dive under her to save it.

On second thought, I actually hope that happens.

It's more that that is the point of the trinket table. If you get a trinket, it is supposed to add flavor or mystery to your backstory, so either the DM will think of some way to make it story relevant, or have no idea how to react to the weird thing and have NPCs refuse it. Honestly, I was just making a joke. If your DM doesn't have anything specific in mind for the worm, but you have an NPC that would actually accept it, the tactic might work.

[Imbalance]

It's more that that is the point of the trinket table. If you get a trinket, it is supposed to add flavor or mystery to your backstory, so either the DM will think of some way to make it story relevant, or have no idea how to react to the weird thing and have NPCs refuse it. Honestly, I was just making a joke. If your DM doesn't have anything specific in mind for the worm, but you have an NPC that would actually accept it, the tactic might work.

Gotcha. I think it got traction at first just because it was for an interaction within the party, but then it started to become a running RP joke. I was hoping you had some legit examples about how a campaign hinged on what is arguably the oddest item on the list.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am not allowed one roll on the Trinkets table per legal identity.

[jintoya]

Plan C in effect.
I think soon:

*I am not allowed to evict the local Lord
** Making a whole kingdom into a forest with an army of birds and magic is prohibited

We'll see how he handles it... He might be a dragon... Not sure

* May no longer steal the top floors of the Pagoda
(Trying to figure out how to do that)

[Personification]

* May no longer steal the top floors of the Pagoda
(Trying to figure out how to do that)

Don't you mean pseudogazebo?

[TheYell]

When the party is enslaved by goblins, I may not ask to be made chief slave in exchange for cooperation

[JMS]

*While people expect the Beguiler to not be the moral compass of the group, this expectation does not apply to Exalted Beguilers with Nymph's Kiss, Vow of Non-violence, and other [Exalted] feats.
**Half the group should not have the title of "Saint" from their templates
***If the Paladin is derided for not being good enough, we need new characters.
****The group is not allowed the Book of Exalted Good.

*As a DM, 4d fights are not allowed.
** You may not increase the number of dimensions to get around this.
***Non-euclidean battles are banned.

*Not allowed to read about cryptography before playing.

[jintoya]

Don't you mean pseudogazebo?

Took the entire thing, now it's my cloud house.

*I am no longer allowed to use grow plants to turn a capital city into a forest
(I doubt I'll be allowed to have that as a spell like ability again)

*Using alchemy to enhance my cooking skill and make food so good that people would kill a man for it is no longer allowed

*Diplomacy (to do anything but negotiate a cease-fire) is no longer allowed during combat

*Applying sovereign glue is considered hostile actions for the purposes of invisibility.... But only for me (I was filling people's nostrils with it and putting it on lips of sleeping bandits)

Edit of convenience so I'm not continually posting:

* Stealing a whole town (my next project) and replacing the people there with greater fetches is not okay.

[Rater202]

*In a superheroes game, my powers can't be a magical, weightless, inscrutable futon that I can summon from a pocket dimension and use as a personal barricade.

[Lord Raziere]

* Despite what some syncretisms may have you believe, Daana'd is not Luna worship in disguise
** Daana'd was not a guise of Luna leading the Dragon-Blooded to force the Lunars to adapt and become stronger
*** Daana'd never was Luna in disguise, and not all pictures of Daana'd are worshiping Luna
**** I am not to paint and post up picture of Daana'd in the middle of transforming back into Luna winking at the viewer of said picture for all immaculate worshipers to see, that is heresy.
***** Nor am I to depict Daana'd and Luna kissing one another and posting that up in public either, thats also immaculate heresy
****** Daana'd is not the Gaia soul that loves and sleeps with Luna the most
******* There is no wide-reaching secret cult of Daana'd backed by Lunars to slowly induct people into Luna worship and turn them into rebels against the Dragon-Blooded. that would be just one too many layers of the irony they're already drowning in.

[jintoya]

*I may no longer create colossal "battle bunnies" and send them to the god of the hunt as an offering in the hopes to irritate him
**I may not act surprised when he retaliates

*Asking people to "check this out" when "this" is a gru, is considered hostility.

*No matter your diplomacy check, throwing pies at royalty will get you ejected from a kingdom

*The DM should never have to say "an alignment shift so big that it measures on the Richter scale" to convince me I'm wrong

*A massacre can not be justified by "it's Tuesday"
**Especially on Thursday

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am allowed to play Clerics. I may not name them Reverend Senob Yoccm.
** There is never a legitimate reason to shout 'I'm a miracle worker, not a doctor!'

[Telok]

Coming soon to a game near here:
* The seriously ****** up cocaine wizard will no longer be allowed to be the most sane and rational NPC at the auction of very very very illegal things.

** Full auto grenade launchers in enclosed spaces.

[DeTess]

** Full auto grenade launchers in enclosed spaces.

***The same goes for burst-fire grenade launchers
****And semi-auto grenade-launchers that the rules say you can manually burst-fire
*****Bringing any sort of high-explosive-based combat strategy to a moon-base is asking for trouble.
******Even if you remembered to bring an armored space-suit.
*******Because the rest of the party didn't think to bring those, that's why!

[LordCdrMilitant]

***The same goes for burst-fire grenade launchers
****And semi-auto grenade-launchers that the rules say you can manually burst-fire
*****Bringing any sort of high-explosive-based combat strategy to a moon-base is asking for trouble.
******Even if you remembered to bring an armored space-suit.
*******Because the rest of the party didn't think to bring those, that's why!

I see no problem with any of these :)

[TheYell]

* May not use a withdraw action to run screaming the whole length of a dungeon
**Three Stooges' "nyangnyangnyangwooobwooopwoopwoopwoop" is not an acceptable alternative

[noob]

* May not use a withdraw action to run screaming the whole length of a dungeon
**Three Stooges' "nyangnyangnyangwooobwooopwoopwoopwoop" is not an acceptable alternative

which system?
*team fire is not the correct name for an adventurer team.
**if everyone wears 100 candles, a dozen of alchemist fires and also matches ,flint and iron and are dragging around mules carrying firewood then something is "wrong".

[DeTess]

which system?
*team fire is not the correct name for an adventurer team.

**Neither is 'Scorched Earth'.
***Even if that's an accurate representation of our MO
****Especially if that's an accurate representation of our MO

[TheYell]

which system?

Pathfinder

[noob]

Pathfinder

you must have staked a lot of speed boosts to withdraw through a whole dungeon in one action.

[OccamsSword]

* When in a mountain lined with veins of explosive ore, I may not fire my pistol, even if the target is an ooze and I think the bullet will "just stick there".

[Lord Raziere]

* My wizard cannot proclaim "magic is just a nonsense word used by the superstitious. Nothing is magic."
** My wizards goal cannot be to redefine all of spellcasting in clearer terms so that ignorant people stop using the phrase "its magic, I don't have to explain it."
*** my incantation for fireball cannot be "cause combustion and from the resulting thermal reaction to form a spherical shape then launch itself into people designated my enemies through a currently unidentified force manipulated by vocal and visual hand signals that can't possibly be magic because it exists and therefore has to fit in and make sense with the rest of the universe so that reality does not fall apart."
**** when people say "magic" I cannot constantly correct them with "its not magic its Unidentified Verbally-Visually Manipulated Force or UVVM Force for short."
***** nor can I says "its not a spell, its a specific reaction that occurs in response to specific combination of sound and visual medium based stimuli for yet unidentified reasons."
****** May not play a wizard that doesn't believe anything is magic.

[Comaward]

*I am no longer allowed to use an alchemy jug to create a gallon of chlorine trifluoride.