Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[LordCdrMilitant]

*If the points value of the encounter is larger than most real 40k games, there are too many Orks.
**Especially if 2000 of those points are in exclusively boyz.
***If the encounter could be represented as a tabletop force, it should at least be battle-forged. You can't just have 1 HQ for 7 Heavy Supports, 2 Dedicated Transports, 2 Fast Attacks, 1 Elites, and 11 Troops

[JAL_1138]

Spoiler: Lager versus ale

Show

The rule I learnt for the UK was that you chill lagers in a five degree fridge and ale in a five to ten degree cellar, and then serve them at similar temperatures. Part of this has to do with UK climate, in the winter outside of a city you can store ale in a shed.

I'll also note that chilling IPA to the same level as a pale lager (you don't get many dark lagers over here) is basically consisted a no-no here.

But my main point was making fun of my own snobbery.

Spoiler: alcohol tangent continuing within

Show

I wouldn’t serve an IPA as cold as a Pilsner, no, but maybe colder than, say, stout or porter. Tames the hops down a smidge—but then again I’m not much of a hop-head and some particularly potent IPAs are a bit too piney for me. For pale beers I tend to gravitate towards slightly tart, almost citrusy beers that take it a little easy on the hops like Kolsch or Gose. Darker beers, give me a good nut-brown ale or a liquid-bread porter.

Although in truth I’m not much of a beer-drinker in the first place; I’m mainly keen on whisk(e)y, which I generally only have a couple of ways: either neat at room temperature, or every once in a blue moon I’ll make an Old-Fashioned or even more rarely a Whiskey Sour. Mostly a bourbon fan, originally being from Kentucky and whatnot, but occasionally I’ll dabble in other styles—picked up an Irish whiskey recently that I’ve been particularly enjoying.

*Must not sidetrack forum threads with alcohol discussion either.

[Rater202]

*Must not give the Yakuza a living, reusable weapon of mass destruction.

*Should probably settle on how my character's powers work before play starts.
**And it's probably not a good idea to rant in-character about power mechanics when we should be on a mission.
***Even if studying said power mechanics is basically my job.

[Robert's Dragon]

* I am not allowed to kill and reincarnate the nimblewright
** even if he "just wanted to be a real boy"

[Rater202]

*I cannot ruin an easy scam by being myself.

[dspeyer]

(Inspired by the recent alcohol derail)

* If terrible miso soup with rice noodles and tofu is a DC 2 wealth check, a decent version of the same dish shouldn't be DC 15 or higher.
** I should focus my world-building on things that will show up during gameplay

[TeChameleon]

* I am no longer allowed to try to surrender to minor puzzle encounters just because they're annoying me.

[danielxcutter]

* I am no longer allowed to try to surrender to minor puzzle encounters just because they're annoying me.

*I am not allowed to beat minor puzzle encounters over the head until they surrender either.

[Rater202]

*Solving writers block by writing a bunch of stuff for a game your in doesn't always work.

[moonfly7]

*I am no longer allowed to play characters that are so strange and weird they make my DM want to kill himself.
**especially not the insane fighter who rides a bear, carrying every weapon in game around in a bag of holding, who is bent on killing Time for ruining his life.
***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.
*****I cannot, under any circumstances, cast control water on the holy water to turn it into a whirlpool around a rakshasa to deal over a million points of damage.

[danielxcutter]

*I am no longer allowed to play characters that are so strange and weird they make my DM want to kill himself.
**especially not the insane fighter who rides a bear, carrying every weapon in game around in a bag of holding, who is bent on killing Time for ruining his life.
***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.
*****I cannot, under any circumstances, cast control water on the holy water to turn it into a whirlpool around a rakshasa to deal over a million points of damage.

I’m pretty sure it really isn’t that powerful to be honest.

[moonfly7]

I’m pretty sure it really isn’t that powerful to be honest.

It is when you factor in the fact that every flask of holy water is only 1 pound, and 1 pound translates to 0.45 liters. It takes about 3.7 liters to the gallon, and that's if you ignore that some of the weight is from the flask(which we did in this scenario) since a single less than .45 liters of holy water does 2d6 radiant damage to undead and fiends, 500 thousand gallons of it easily breaks a million without rolling. There's a reason I'm not allowed to do it anymore(and honestly the DM in question was having self depreciation problems and wanted to End that game fast to start a better one he could feel like he did good with. He asked me to help end it, hence the holy water.)

[Rater202]

*I cannot play a female vampire who learned how to shapeshift into a small child in order to escape the compulsion to dress sexy and flirt with everyone by playing chicken the laws of narrative causality.

[dspeyer]

* Especially not if it doesn't work

[Lord Raziere]

* My M&M hero concept may not be a harmless saturday morning cartoon villain who was so incompetent that when they tried to rob a bank they had bad timing and ended up foiling someone elses bank robbery and other heroes mistook them for a hero in the process.
** May not go along with their assumptions out of fear of them defeating me
*** May not have an entire career of being an accidental hero.
**** The ending of the campaign cannot be revealing that I was actually a villain to the other heroes all along and attempting to take over the world at one final attempt at my true goal, only to be foiled and everyone assuming that is just a normal heroic breakdown into turning temporarily evil before being brought back to "normal".

[Telok]

* My M&M hero concept may not be a harmless saturday morning cartoon villain who was so incompetent that when they tried to rob a bank they had timing and ended foiling someone elses bank robbery and other heroes mistook them for a hero in the process.
** May not go along with their assumptions out of fear of them defeating me
*** May not have an entire career of being an accidental hero.
**** The ending of the campaign cannot be revealing that I was actually a villain to the other heroes all along and attempting to take over the world at one final attempt at my true goal, only to be foiled and everyone assuming that is just a normal heroic breakdown into turning temporarily evil before being brought back to "normal".

Nah, you're cool. I did something like that back on the City of Heros mmo.

* I must resist the urge to have the PCs actions come back to bite them in the form of a mega starship battle where the daemon lord's ships are shooting tarasques at the PC's dark eldarin pirate fleet.

** My superhero concept may not be temporaraly turning people into rubber and punching them for 50 meters of knockback.

*** Not allowed to break out a compass and check angles before punching people.

[Rater202]

*If the gimmick of the game is that we're all greatly powered/skilled people time-displaced to Tatooine during the time that Qui-Gon found Annakin with the goal of derailing the Star Wars franchise as much as possible, and the rest of the characters are a Lightside leaning Twi'lik Grey Jedi from after the fall of h Galactic Empire, a full conversion cyborg molded on the improvement of General Grievous's design created to hunt down rogue Jedi and other evil force users in the distant future of the Legends timeline, a random clone trooper from the Clone Wars who broke out of his programming when given the order to turn on the Jedi only after killing his commander, and Mandalorian(Not that one,) all fallen through time via strange portals and the will of the force, I can't be a Sith Pureblood Darth Imperious frozen in Carbonite.
**Cannot make a game of breaking Jedi's brains by being a Lightside Dark Lord of the Sith.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not be an atheist jedi out to disprove the will of the force so that it may be studied from a purely scientific perspective like gravity or magnetism
** also may not be the little beeping droid sidekick who is somehow hypercompetent
*** may turn out to be a tiny weapons platform bristling with guns underneath my charming astromech exterior

* may not play schrodinger's cat with memories of infinite parallel versions of myself
** May not go around proclaiming woman older than is potentially my adopted mother and must be protected
*** May not remember every town as my hometown and must be potentially protected
**** May not ask every new person I meet if they remember me
***** my teammate is not a moogle, they're a mithra, even if in another universe they are.
****** may not misremember the place I'm infiltrating as the place I'm actually working at.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.

I googled it because I was curious, that's not how the real world rule works. Holy water has to be at least 50% originally blessed water. So if you have 1 liter you can double that to 2 liters, but if you then try to double it again instead of 4 liters you end up with 0, because none of it is holy water anymore. Only homeopathic medicine grows stronger the more you dilute it.

***** I cannot use dilution to create oceans full of super strong homeopathic holy water.

[TeChameleon]

* I am no longer allowed to read the listings of treasure drops carefully, as it appears to lead to me dialing my fighter's AC up high enough that the latest mini-boss was reduced to swearing impotently at me. Apparently the DM finds this a bit demoralizing

[JAL_1138]

*My Paladin may not be an expy of Solaire of Astora.
**May not name the character “Heliakos of Walddorf”
***Walddorf is not a neighboring country of Astora.
****There is absolutely not a famous inn on the Walddorf-Astora border.

[danielxcutter]

*My Paladin may not be an expy of Solaire of Astora.
**May not name the character “Heliakos of Walddorf”
***Walddorf is not a neighboring country of Astora.
****There is absolutely not a famous inn on the Walddorf-Astora border.

...Pelorite?

[JAL_1138]

...Pelorite?

Worships a sun deity, but from a homebrew setting with its own pantheon.

[Rater202]

*There is a difference between a cult and a harem.

[Beowulf DW]

*There is a difference between a cult and a harem.

...Depends on the cult and one's own preferences, really.

*May no longer use monks as anti-dragon ballista ammunition.
**Even if it succeeded.
***Especially if it succeed.
****Even if the aforementioned success made the blonde elf ranger want to get in the monk's pants.
*****I am no longer allowed to play monks with access to ballistae.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

...Depends on the cult and one's own preferences, really.

I'd argue that realistically it might depend more on the harem.

The famous Ottoman harem, the main real world example of such a thing, was less of a collection of wives, and more of a collection of daughters. Impressionable but intelligent girls from poor backgrounds were brought to the palace to receive the upbringing and education of a noblewoman. The point of the construction was that these girls could be married off for political gains. (So I'm not arguing this was a great deal overall, I'm arguing the harem wasn't one giant sex thing.) More daughters, more political marriages, more power. Many if not most or all of these sultans did have multiple wives, but that's not what most women in the harem were. The educational part of the program was such a success that there is now a period known as "the sultanate of women", during which the women in the harem (usually led not just by the sultan's wifes but his mother and the other wifes of the previous sultan as well) had a profound say in the way the country was run. Because ones you have raised a private army of top politicians and diplomats you'd be a fool not to listen to them.

There have probably been quite a few cults that are closer to the fantasy version of a harem than to that.

[Man on Fire]

* "Aragorn with a side of Drizzt and Legolas" is a valid character concept but only as long as it is not followed by "Played by Kermit the Frog".

* My character is not the arch-nemesis of Harambe the gorilla.

* Assume from now on potential combat enemies do not understand sarcasm.

* Next time I use pirate slang I am to assume no one else at the table knows that "blow a man off handsomely" means "kill a man swiftly".

* Not allowed to try to set the entire storage of dark magic artifacts on fire.

* If I slip on marbles and fall off the stairs I do not automatically land on the evil sorcerer who has slipped the same way right before me.

* I am to assume people scared of a talking skeleton aren't just rude about his mohawk.

* My Halfling is to stop putting feet on every table she sees.

* Country Roads Take Me Home is not an old dwarven song.

* Not allowed to have my new character write romantic ballads about my dead character and a guy he hated with passion.

* No longer allowed to hide dwarf by rolling him in a carpet

* Not allowed to pin every crime committed by the party on my dead character.

[Tohron]

* Not allowed to pin every crime committed by the party on my dead character.

**Especially not the ones committed after he died.

[Rater202]

*I am not the god of small children who freak out over things that kids shouldn't have to worry about.

[Kelb_Panthera]

*I am not the god of small children who freak out over things that kids shouldn't have to worry about.

*yet

10 character minimum.