Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[danielxcutter]

I may not depict The Unconquered Sun as All-Might.

Isn’t that level of power standard issue for Exalted or something?

[TeChameleon]

I may not depict The Unconquered Sun as All-Might.

That... works better than it should

[Lord Raziere]

I may not depict The Unconquered Sun as All-Might.

*Depicting Malfeas as green nuclear Karkat has been banned for years
** depicting Isidiros as Kamina is similarly out
*** Ebon Dragon as Snidely Whiplash is exactly what everyone has been fighting to get rid of don't resurrect this
**** Autochthon is not Wheatley from Portal 2
***** Oramus is not the Doctor and Master combined except somehow even more insane
****** Nor does Oramus exist in all Exalted shards simultaneously as a single entity and get his realities mixed up when talking to people
******* His Divine Lunar Presence and the Scarlet Empress cannot try to have a rivalry over who can empire build and rule better only to fall in love with each other instead
******** Depicting a Fire Aspect Dynast as Zuko is fine, depicting Aang as an Immaculate Air Monk is more questionable
********* Luna laughs at your pitiful attempts to define them by your limited mortal references.

[Rockphed]

********* Luna laughs at your pitiful attempts to define them by your limited mortal references.

Is that because all the blood is rushing to their head?

[Rater202]

*In a marvel superheroes game, Jean Grey's, Scott Summers's, Illyana Rasutins, and Franklin Richard's respective Symbiote Codices can not be used as substitutes for the Mind, Power, Soul, and collectively Space, Time, and Reality Stones when trying to make an infinity Gauntlet.
**Dude, seriously. Franklin Richards is more powerful than the Gauntlet. If you get his Codex you don't need anything else.

[Lord Raziere]

Is that because all the blood is rushing to their head?

That was not a reference.

* The Sharingan is a powerful dojutsu capable of granting incredible power. I should not be using it become the best speedrunner in the world by doing everything frame-perfect.

[danielxcutter]

That was not a reference.

* The Sharingan is a powerful dojutsu capable of granting incredible power. I should not be using it become the best speedrunner in the world by doing everything frame-perfect.

Do the letters “TAS” mean anything to you? I imagine these would be less of a strain on you than this Sharingan anyways...

[Lord Raziere]

Do the letters “TAS” mean anything to you? I imagine these would be less of a strain on you than this Sharingan anyways...

Tool Assisted Speedrun? Easy enough to figure out. I'm not a speedrunner myself, I'm just making a joke about them.

* Cannot be so indecisive about my M&M character that I make a Mimic with Metamorph whose power is to parallel-universe-shapeshift into any character I've ever made

[TrashTrash]

* I'm not allowed to drink anything the captain of the cocaine-running pirate ship hands to me, no matter what my character flaws are.
** I can't try to argue with the DM if I accidentally drink something spiked with cocaine.
*** Seriously, what do I think is going to be in the cup?!
**** I'm not allowed to claim that whatever happens after drinking it is entirely the captain's fault.

* I do not spontaneously develop the Rage ability, no matter how badly the party damages my family's inn. If I want to multiclass Barbarian, I can, but not like that.
** I'm not allowed to make the party pay me for the damages to the inn. They pay the NPC owner.

[Rater202]

*weaponizing the shrieking of a little girl against someone with superhuman hearing was an incredibly cruel thing to do.

[Anonymouswizard]

* There should be at least one party member without an animal companion.
** The animal sidekicks should not outnumber the party members.
*** We are expected to coordinate on the environment we operate in.

(From pre-session 0 we have: an owl, a reindeer, a mouse/squirrel, and an otter)

[Laughing Dog]

*I am to stop murdering the party wizard in his sleep. Even if he was practically asking for it.
** I am not to murder the party wizard, even if he was literally asking for it.
***No, the fact that this is the same wizard doesn't help matters.
**** I am not to use the wizard's corpses as building materials, siege weapon ammunition, improvised weaponry, emergency rations, a distraction, blackmail, bait, or anything else the DM has't thought of.
*****The correct way to advance the plot is not 'Kill the wizard again.' Even with all evidence pointing to the contrary.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

*****The correct way to advance the plot is not 'Kill the wizard again.' Even with all evidence pointing to the contrary.

******The fact that we leveled up every time the fighter died is not a valid in character motivation to kill him.

[Laughing Dog]

******The fact that we leveled up every time the fighter died is not a valid in character motivation to kill him.

Of course not. It was always the fighter's heroic sacrifices that got you those level ups

And on the topic of Fighters:
*My pure-classed Fighter shouldn't be able to outperform the party rogue in stealth.

[BlueHamsterBean]

And on the topic of Fighters:
*My pure-classed Fighter shouldn't be able to outperform the party rogue in stealth.

**Especially if they are wearing full plate armor at the time.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

**Especially if they are wearing full plate armor at the time.

***It was especially bad since my rogue had expertise in stealth and an 18 in dex. Luckily I don't always roll a 3 or a 4, just often.

[BlueHamsterBean]

***It was especially bad since my rogue had expertise in stealth and an 18 in dex. Luckily I don't always roll a 3 or a 4, just often.

****May not smugly mock the fighter's stealth checks as revenge once I hit level 11 and get reliable talent.

[TeChameleon]

* I may no longer point out to the DM that a Cloak of the Manta Ray (Water Breathing, Swim Speed of 60 ft.) was one of the first pieces of treasure he ever handed out to this character when he starts making open plans to drown my full-plate-wearing fighter.
** Nor may one of the other PCs point out that the DM has been fairly unsubtle about their plans to try and drown the party, and thus they had prepared waterbreathing ages ago.
*** Stop spoiling the DMs fun, dangit!

[Rater202]

*When hired to bake the cakes for the wedding of the goblin queen and the Prince of the kingdom of elves, I should bake something other than a cherpumple.

[danielxcutter]

*When hired to bake the cakes for the wedding of the goblin queen and the Prince of the kingdom of elves, I should bake something other than a cherpumple.

...A what?

[Rater202]

...A what?

It's basically a cake made of pie.

the bottom layer is a spice cake with an apple pie baked into it.

The middle layer is yellow cake with a pumpkin pie.

The top is white cake with a cherry pie.

[TeChameleon]

That actually sounds pretty good, and I don't even like pumpkin pie.

* Even if the DM is telegraphing things a bit, by giving us what's essentially the local Drow's Excalibur/Lance of Longinus equivalent while we're trapped in the Underdark with no idea where we are, I am not allowed to phrase it as "If the Drow see us with this, they won't kill us."

[Lord Torath]

* Yes, Master Crafted items cost double the base requisition cost.
** True, Power Armor has no requisition cost for Space Marines.
*** I may not abuse these two facts to take Master Crafted Power Armor on every mission for no requisition cost (once I have sufficient Renown for Master-Crafted gear)

[BlueHamsterBean]

*The party of Vedalken bards is not be be called "The Blue Man Group."

[noob]

*The party of Vedalken bards is not be be called "The Blue Man Group."

** The blues brothers is not fine either even if they are brothers.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

** The blues brothers is not fine either even if they are brothers.

*** Their signature song is not Blue (da be dee)
**** Nor is it Mr. Blue, Mr Blue Sky or Fuzzy and Blue, or any other variation of this theme.

[BlueHamsterBean]

*** Their signature song is not Blue (da be dee)
**** Nor is it Mr. Blue, Mr Blue Sky or Fuzzy and Blue, or any other variation of this theme.

*****My Vedalken barbarian doesn't have to rage every time they eat a plate of cookies.

[danielxcutter]

...What the hecc is a Veldalken?

[Lord Torath]

*****My Vedalken barbarian doesn't have to rage every time they eat a plate of cookies.

****** "C" is for Cookie is also not our theme song.
******* Neither is Healthy Foods.

[Personification]

...What the hecc is a Veldalken?

It is a creature from the M:tG multiverse. They are a sapient race of blue humanoids, generally a bit taller and more elongated than humans, with an analytical bent. Some (but not all) have six fingers, and on at least one plane they have four arms and gills. They were created because Magic needed to replace merfolk with a race that could walk on land, but when Magic eventually reintroduced merfolk as triton-style belegged-fish-reminiscent-humanoids, vedalken had established themselves in the lore and stuck around. They jumped out of the cardboard and onto the character sheet when they became a PC race in the D&D/M:tG crossover setting book Guildmasters Guide to Ravnica.

*I may not go all Vorthos amongst members of the hobby who definitely don't know what a Vorthos is.