Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[BisectedBrioche]

*** Their signature song is not Blue (da be dee)
**** Nor is it Mr. Blue, Mr Blue Sky or Fuzzy and Blue, or any other variation of this theme.

Is their battle cry still "Da ba de da ba DIE!"?

[Hellpyre]

*My character must be able to communicate with at least one other member of the party.
**One-way telepathy is not enough, if my character still can't understand a response.
***There is no 'universal language of dance'.

[Personification]

***There is no 'universal language of dance'.

Of course there is. What did you think Common meant?

[BlueHamsterBean]

Of course there is. What did you think Common meant?

You just earned yourself a laugh out loud sir.

*May not insist that "common" is actually more akin to Khoisan than English.
**Even if it would make conversations much more interesting.

[Rater202]

I can't create a magic item that gives a permanent glibness effect for the sole sake of taking every opportunity to try and force a "steamed hams" reference.

[Personification]

*The party may not have more pets than party members.
**Even if three are robots and one is just a leg
***ESPECIALLY if two are robots and one is just a leg.
****Doubly so if only two of the six party members can cast Find Familiar and nobody uses any other summoning spells.

[Rater202]

*There is no conceivable way that giving Darth Vader a Klyntar Symbiote would go well for anyone.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

You just earned yourself a laugh out loud sir.

*May not insist that "common" is actually more akin to Khoisan than English.
**Even if it would make conversations much more interesting.

***Orc is still definitely German though.

[Telok]

***There is no 'universal language of dance'.

****Interpretive mime dance is a universal language. However it contains only three concepts that translate roughly as: a) "Look at me being silly!" b) "I am a pretentious snot." c) "I have made terrible lifestyle choices. Please kill me now."

*The DM must pre-approve all character names, backstories, alignments, and musical instrument proficencies.
**The name Tolp Ethdna Selur Ehtpulf, backstories involving the consumption of demon hearts, alignments containing the words 'sadistic' 'psychotic' 'drug-addled' or 'dentist', and tuned blackpowder cannons... They're all on the "No" list now.
***My character's theme song cannot come from 'Little Shop of Horrors' or any production involving Vincent Price.

[Hellpyre]

*If my character introduces himself as 'Lawkins P. Daud, Esquire' in a medieval European fantasy, the party should not immediately assume him to be a lawyer.
**Even if he does have a nice briefcase.
***For goodness sake, the briefcase had a heartbeat. Why would you all assume the chair was a mimic, but not the breathing attaché case
****I may no longer start the game as a feeding lure for a mimic.

[Rater202]

*If my character introduces himself as 'Lawkins P. Daud, Esquire' in a medieval European fantasy, the party should not immediately assume him to be a lawyer.
**Even if he does have a nice briefcase.
***For goodness sake, the briefcase had a heartbeat. Why would you all assume the chair was a mimic, but not the breathing attaché case
****I may no longer start the game as a feeding lure for a mimic.

Is there a significance to the name?

[Hellpyre]

Is there a significance to the name?

It's mostly just the Esquire at the end. Pretty much everywhere but the US it denotes a certain level of social standing (and thus would be expected to in a psuedo-medieval European setting), but in the US it specifically is appended to people who have passed the bar. The rest was just suitably garish to work for the 'mimic feeding lure' gag that the rest of the party ignored to their peril.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If the rules don't specify otherwise I should assume that I begin with clothes.
** If the rules state that I must buy clothes if I want them then I am expected to buy them.
*** The following species wear clothes: elves, orcs, dwarves, pre-medieval humans, trolls, and ratfolk.
**** While technically fulfilling the plurality requirements, socks do not count as clothes for the purposes of this discussion.

[Rockphed]

**** While technically fulfilling the plurality requirements, socks do not count as clothes for the purposes of this discussion.

***** Nor does an ensemble of nothing but a Hawaiian shirt and a fedora.
****** Suspenders and a garter belt is out of the question.
******* Pants are required on both my character and my person.
******** I may wear pants as headwear, but I must also have them on my legs.

[Wookieetank]

***** Nor does an ensemble of nothing but a Hawaiian shirt and a fedora.
****** Suspenders and a garter belt is out of the question.
******* Pants are required on both my character and my person.
******** I may wear pants as headwear, but I must also have them on my legs.

********* "Pants" as a warcry, or warbanner, does not count as wearing them.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

********* "Pants" as a warcry, or warbanner, does not count as wearing them.

********** Pants do not work like a divine focus, you do not merely have to present them for their function to take effect.

[BlueHamsterBean]

********** Pants do not work like a divine focus, you do not merely have to present them for their function to take effect.

***********My cleric may not turn the horde of zombies by presenting a pair of old, stinky jeans. No, seriously, where did your character even get those in a fantasy world?

[Anonymouswizard]

************ Trousers are not Numenera.

[Rater202]

*There is no possible way that stripping completly naked, covering each other in neon paint, and doing Jojo poses to Go Go Power Rangers can possibly give us a bonus to the stealth check we need sneak past a security checkpoint.
**Especially if we do it right in front of the security checkpoint.

[Bohandas]

***********My cleric may not turn the horde of zombies by presenting a pair of old, stinky jeans. No, seriously, where did your character even get those in a fantasy world?

Maybe from Ash Williams?

[BlueHamsterBean]

Maybe from Ash Williams?

*May not claim to be a cleric of The Ashen One, conqueror of the undead, and owner of The Boomstick just so that I can use a pair of old jeans as my holy symbol.

[Anonymouswizard]

*There is no possible way that stripping completly naked, covering each other in neon paint, and doing Jojo poses to Go Go Power Rangers can possibly give us a bonus to the stealth check we need sneak past a security checkpoint.

** Or to anything else for that matter.
*** The Zyuranger theme will not solve this problem.
**** There is only one acceptable sneaking song. But nudity or neon paint will ruin the effect.

[danielxcutter]

...What system is that and what song is it?

[Personification]

*No matter how forced the plot seems to be, my character may not use it as ammunition for a railgun.
**The "siege weapon" ability ("This does double damage to structures") does not work on the fourth wall.
***While I am allowed to have a headcanon, I may not use it offensively.

[danielxcutter]

*No matter how forced the plot seems to be, my character may not use it as ammunition for a railgun.
**The "siege weapon" ability ("This does double damage to structures") does not work on the fourth wall.
***While I am allowed to have a headcanon, I may not use it offensively.

Heh, reminds me of this:

I'll tell you right now, if anyone asked me whether I thought they should wear a ballista on their head, I'm pretty sure I'd say "no."

[Anonymouswizard]

...What system is that and what song is it?

I don't know the system being used, but I was referencing a certain parodic opera song. Shush shush, the major general comes...


* If the other players have never seen it I am not allowed to reference it.
** 'May not attack an orphan' is no longer an allowed disadvantage for pirates.

[danielxcutter]

I don't know the system being used, but I was referencing a certain parodic opera song. Shush shush, the major general comes...


* If the other players have never seen it I am not allowed to reference it.
** 'May not attack an orphan' is no longer an allowed disadvantage for pirates.

I presume there's more than one song about the major general?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I presume there's more than one song about the major general?

** But there's only one song about a roguish elven gunslinger.

[danielxcutter]

** But there's only one song about a roguish elven gunslinger.

You just won five internets with that, Expert.

[Rockphed]

** But there's only one song about a roguish elven gunslinger.

If we ever get to thread 13, I vote we name it "Roguish Elven Gunslinger".