Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[Taevyr]

*I may not use the inside of a spare Bag of Holding as a workshop for constructing a magitek railgun 10 minutes at a time.

**Once completed, I cannot aim the railgun towards the opening flap of said bag, and link the firing mechanism with the opening of said bag flap.

***Obliterating the dragon BBEG without a fight by firing the portable railgun at it mid-flight, no matter how awesome, will make the DM sad for having his preparation time come to waste.

****No matter how awesome it is to succesfully one-shot a dragon with a portable railgun and a ****ton of falling damage, remember not to be standing directly underneath it when you do so, even if it is the best firing position.

[danielxcutter]

Probably a bit obvious, but:

*If I'm going to be using AoE effects, I should really check how wide the range actually is.

Spoiler: Context

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Used a tanglepatch item, forgot that it had a radius of 40 feet so I was in range as well. I had the Travel Domain though so I was fine and somehow everyone in range made their Reflex saves.

[Rockphed]

Probably a bit obvious, but:

*If I'm going to be using AoE effects, I should really check how wide the range actually is.

Spoiler: Context

Show

Used a tanglepatch item, forgot that it had a radius of 40 feet so I was in range as well. I had the Travel Domain though so I was fine and somehow everyone in range made their Reflex saves.

I seem to remember that in 2e the functional difference between a fireball at the end of a hallway and a lightning bolt at same was the type of damage. They both had the unfortunate tendency to fill space and start coming back at the sender.

[danielxcutter]

I seem to remember that in 2e the functional difference between a fireball at the end of a hallway and a lightning bolt at same was the type of damage. They both had the unfortunate tendency to fill space and start coming back at the sender.

In 3.5e? Mostly just fixed areas, though of course if you Fireball someone too close you’ll probably end up torching yourself, yes.

[Anonymouswizard]

I seem to remember that in 2e the functional difference between a fireball at the end of a hallway and a lightning bolt at same was the type of damage. They both had the unfortunate tendency to fill space and start coming back at the sender.

I kind of wish that was still a thing, if playing with a battle mat it shouldn't be too hard to adjudicate. Just get a bunch of dice and fill up the squares closest to the origin until you've run out of area.


I remember my first time using a third level spell in the Baldur's Gate games. My Lightning Bolt killed the monster, and then bounced off the wall, killed the Bhaalspawn who'd cast it, and caused an immediate game over. Good times, learnt to be more careful with Evocation magic that day.

[danielxcutter]

It sounds interesting that’s for sure, but I think I still prefer the fixed areas. But YMMV.

[Lord Torath]

It sounds interesting that’s for sure, but I think I still prefer the fixed areas. But YMMV.

A fireball with a 20' radius has a volume of 33,510 cubic feet, or 33 to 34 10x10x10-foot cubes.

[noob]

A fireball with a 20' radius has a volume of 33,510 cubic feet, or 33 to 34 10x10x10-foot cubes.

fireball have nearly twice the aoe of lightning after including the fact that lightning boosts its aoe with line sheanighans so lightning have way less "bounce back" problems than fireball if using the "spread within room" rules.

[Telok]

fireball have nearly twice the aoe of lightning after including the fact that lightning boosts its aoe with line sheanighans so lightning have way less "bounce back" problems than fireball if using the "spread within room" rules.

That reminds me...

* Not allowed to pester a DM to let me use AD&D spells in later editions, even if a 3 segment casting tome turns into a 3 round cast. Apparently my ability to correctly eyeball 3D lightning bolt bounces and hit multiple rooms with fireballs is "op".

** AD&D haste is apparently "super mega op" even with the friendly fire save or die.

*** May not blame other players for the fact that their characters fortitude saves and strength checks are so much worse than their system shock and bend bars/open gates would have been 25 years ago.

[danielxcutter]

What does AD&D Haste do?

[Rater202]

Cannot form a superhero team that consists of lesbian space pirates who never actually engage in piracy and mostly just fly around beating up people who need to be beaten up.

[danielxcutter]

Cannot form a superhero team that consists of lesbian space pirates who never actually engage in piracy and mostly just fly around beating up people who need to be beaten up.

Isn't there something with that exact premise?

[Telok]

What does AD&D Haste do?

AD&D haste is "the hasted people get an extra round all to themselves after the regular round". AD&D slow is "the slowed people only get to act every other round". There were a couple minor ribbon +1 or -2 in there too. At the end haste aged everyone a year, magical aging called for a system shock roll or you died. Sysyem shock was pretty generous, I think even a 10 con was 70% and a 14 was 88%, about on par with a 5e character trying to make a dc 8 save.

AD&D gave wizards very few spells, because they were "save or else my party wins this encounter" spells. You know, basic resource management type stuff. Haste was an emergency win button that you only wanted to hit the high con warriors with.

[Hellpyre]

What does AD&D Haste do?

Doubles movement and attacks per round, improves initiative score, and permanently ages recipients (much like with wish, that used to be the preferred means of both limiting spells and enforcing elves being generally better at magic).

EDIT: Whoops, I put down what 2nd edition AD&D did.

[danielxcutter]

AD&D haste is "the hasted people get an extra round all to themselves after the regular round". AD&D slow is "the slowed people only get to act every other round". There were a couple minor ribbon +1 or -2 in there too. At the end haste aged everyone a year, magical aging called for a system shock roll or you died. Sysyem shock was pretty generous, I think even a 10 con was 70% and a 14 was 88%, about on par with a 5e character trying to make a dc 8 save.

AD&D gave wizards very few spells, because they were "save or else my party wins this encounter" spells. You know, basic resource management type stuff. Haste was an emergency win button that you only wanted to hit the high con warriors with.

Wow, and I thought 3.0e Haste was broken. I mean, still too high-risk-high-reward for me, but that's still a huge payoff.

[Taevyr]

Cannot form a superhero team that consists of lesbian space pirates who never actually engage in piracy and mostly just fly around beating up people who need to be beaten up.

Lesbian space One Piece?

Sounds pretty fun.

[Lord Raziere]

Lesbian space One Piece?

Sounds pretty fun.

And now you ruined the concept by associating it with Worst Anime.

* May not proclaim hatred of One Piece till my dying breath while proclaiming all other anime better

[danielxcutter]

...Context?

[Lord Raziere]

...Context?

I unlike seemingly every single other anime nerd in the world hate One Piece, which is a lighthearted pirate show. that is the context.

[danielxcutter]

I unlike seemingly every single other anime nerd in the world hate One Piece, which is a lighthearted pirate show. that is the context.

...No, I mean why do you hate One Piece? Don't watch it, so don't know why.

[noob]

...No, I mean why do you hate One Piece? Don't watch it, so don't know why.

I heard about it and how infinitely cliche it was.
Imagine an action movie entirely made out of the most standard action movie cliches and with no character development at all for the main characters now transpose that to a manga.

[Bohandas]

I heard about it and how infinitely cliche it was.
Imagine an action movie entirely made out of the most standard action movie cliches and with no character development at all for the main characters now transpose that to a manga.

That dorsn't sound too bad. The fact that it's an anime is the only reason a lack of character development would be unusual.

In fact, you know what I'd really like to see? I'd like to see someone make an action movie that's just one big fight scene from beginning to end.

[TeChameleon]

That dorsn't sound too bad. The fact that it's an anime is the only reason a lack of character development would be unusual.

In fact, you know what I'd really like to see? I'd like to see someone make an action movie that's just one big fight scene from beginning to end.

You're not the only one.

... and I'm pretty sure that there was something out there that had 'Lesbian Space Pirates' as part of the title.

[Lord Raziere]

...No, I mean why do you hate One Piece? Don't watch it, so don't know why.

Let me put it in a thread appropriate way:

Spoiler: Things One Piece May Not Do

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The World:
* The GM may not build the world like a silly giant ocean circus while arbitrarily dividing it into four quadrants and an equatorial island chain that is basically a tournament
** The GM may not draw stupid weird art that only looks off putting or disturbing
*** Characters being incredibly dumb and silly is not giving them "personality".
**** The GM may not make an incredibly long campaign that drags out forever for no reason.
***** The GM supposedly has planned for everything. I have yet to see how amid all the stupid chaos.
****** The GM needs to have more character development than what is written in the characters backstories.
******* I don't care about the goat ship, let it burn

Luffy:
* May not submit a character concept that is basically "Dumb Mr. Fantastic if he wanted to rule all pirates"
** May not go on a random adventure on every island they go to unrelated to everything else that basically devolves into being eaten by some big animal
*** May not smile. Its creepy.
**** May not take Wis and Int as dump stats
***** May not play a Chaotic Neutral character
****** May not waste time on stupid shenanigans to show up at the 11th hour to actually be useful
******* May not get two entire arcs all to himself while all the other players are stuck doing unrelated things.

Zorro:
* May not take the "No Sense of Direction" Flaw. That gag is only funny for Ryoga Hibiki
** May not get lost just to find some place to sleep until the 11th hour
*** May not have a backstory that is basically "this girl was better at swordfighting than me, but who cares because she is now disabled and was defeatist about becoming best swordmaster and I wanted to defeat her to get it anyways, why bother finding a way to heal her so she can pursue her dream when a man can do it for her?".
**** Pirates are not honorable.

Nami:
* Yet Another Greedy Rogue. How Original!
** Yet Another Tsundere. How Original!

Sanji:
* Yet Another Nosebleeding Pervert. How Original!
** May not take the "Chauvinist" Flaw on top of that. Its not helping your case.

Chopper:
* May not submit "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Doctor" as a character concept in a pirate campaign
** May not learn their life philosophy from a freaking quack doctor
*** Just because the character looks like a child doesn't mean you can roleplay him like a whiny annoying one

Usopp:
* "Slingshot Pinocchio" will not be accepted as a character
** May not somehow be just as irritating as Luffy
*** His pathetic cowardly antics are not amusing. Stop.
**** May not take off the mask, his face sickens me
*****May not be overly attached to some stupid goat ship

Cyborg Soda Guy:
* "a cyborg mad inventor powered by soda" is not a valid character concept
** he should wear more than bloomers and an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt
*** losing his bloomers was not funny the first time. repeating the joke will not endear me to it any better
**** may not have a life philosophy that boils down to "an inventor just makes things whatever people use it for after, they are not responsible for at all".

Afro Skeleton Guy:
* Yet another Old Man Pervert. How Original!
** Yet Another Spoony Bard. How Original!
*** May not have the afro somehow stick around even after all the flesh and organs have decayed away
**** Singing nostalgically about how your lives are short and full of danger and thus you live it to the fullest only makes me want you all to die faster.
***** No one cares about the stupid whale. stop bringing it up.

Robin:
* The player needs to do more than passively listening to other people play the game
** the character needs to do more than just relax on beaches.
*** "Archeologist that knows/is searching for a terrible secret the world government wants to keep covered up about a certain period of history" is a fantastic character concept. Pity that nothing is done with it past like one arc.

Other Characters:
* May not name a character "Eustass Kidd"
** A hot amazon woman having a crush and making advances on the oblivious PC who is probably or even canonically asexual is funny maybe once. The next few million times? Not at all.

[Anonymouswizard]

I heard about it and how infinitely cliche it was.
Imagine an action movie entirely made out of the most standard action movie cliches and with no character development at all for the main characters now transpose that to a manga.

To be fair the series has character development. I skipped ahead about a hundred volumes and Luffy went from 'annoying dumbass' to 'very annoying dumbass'.

It has one kind of cool idea, Haki which is essentially aura magic, but it takes far too long to actually be a thing in the series. The artstyle is going to be a matter of preference, but everybody needs to put on weight, I also suppose it might be more tolerable if you got into it as a kid, read/watched an arc or two. and then dropped it, or watched/read it from the beginning when it started like thirty years ago.

Although I also have a hate of long running series in general.


Partially inspired by posts in another thread
* If the campaign has been running for six months I should decide on at least one of my character's sex or gender.

[Rater202]

Nitpick: The girl that was Zoro's rival getting sick and being unable to continue training as a swordsman was a dubsism from 4Kids--the localization company that ruined everything but Shaman King.

In the original Japanese she died in a pointless freak accident. I can't remember off the top of my head I think she fell down a flight of stairs?

[Taevyr]

I'll give you most of your complaints, since they're largely a matter of differing taste and just not being able to enjoy shonen tropes for what they are, but I feel like I have to raise this one:

***** The GM supposedly has planned for everything. I have yet to see how amid all the stupid chaos.

The way I see it, despite all the nonsense and shonen ridiculousness, Oda either actually did plan everything out from the start, or somehow manages to take the most minor loose plot threads that may not even have been plot threads to start with, and turn'em into key story beats. Seriously. One Piece continuity is amazing, both in its consistency and the utter lunacy that happens in it.

And I'd say the same for the worldbuilding: does it hold up to much logical consistency, as in "technology is consistent in its use and advancement"? Like any other shonen, no, not really. Does the afore-mentioned utter lunacy have far more sense to it than it has any right to once he gets to explaining things? Absolutely.

Those two factors are practically the only reasons I still read it (and the fact that its utterly ridiculous in its over-the-top ways and use of tropes, which brings me great enjoyment). It's a brilliant way to see how someone can build an utterly bat**** insane world and plot, and do so in a way that still feels consistent and makes actual sense if you're willing to follow the base premise. It'll never not be a shonen, but it's probably the best of those that don't break the mold like FMA did.



Additionally, to prevent derailing too much

*Making a Scion vigilante with the Darkness and Justice purviews gives the DM and fellow players full rights to make humorous batman comparisons and references.

**Even if I'm an edgy 18 year-old, failed to see the connection myself, and am somewhat annoyed by them doing so.

[Bohandas]

Doubles movement and attacks per round, improves initiative score, and permanently ages recipients (much like with wish, that used to be the preferred means of both limiting spells and enforcing elves being generally better at magic).

Now I can't stop thinking about that Sealab episode where they kept talking about progeria

[Rater202]

*I cannot be immune to bullets in a setting that has neither superpowers nor guns.

[PhoenixPhyre]

I'm no longer allowed to orchestrate campaign arcs just so that I can use the word "vampirate" in context and as a pun simultaneously.