Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[Anonymouswizard]

* If my plan involves ritualistically sacrificing an elven archmage in geostationary orbit in order to create a second Vortex, I should double check if the setting's technology supports this.
** Any plan which relies on OoC knowledge in order to advance science by two centuries is vetoed

[Rater202]

*I cannot play a dragon for the sole sake of having an in-character reason to cheat the other PCs out of some of their share of gold.

[danielxcutter]

*I cannot play a dragon for the sole sake of having an in-character reason to cheat the other PCs out of some of their share of gold.

**Same goes for rogues.
***Can't be a dragon rogue OR a rogue dragon.

[Telok]

*I cannot play a dragon for the sole sake of having an in-character reason to cheat the other PCs out of some of their share of gold.

Yeah, um... I'm not allowed to be the party treasurer if I'm playing a dwarf. Even though I did pay back all the zero interest loans I secretly gave myself.

* Not allowed to use dwarven accounting to record the party loot & funds.

[Rater202]

I can't literally be a parasite feeding on the other PCs.

[noob]

Yeah, um... I'm not allowed to be the party treasurer if I'm playing a dwarf. Even though I did pay back all the zero interest loans I secretly gave myself.

* Not allowed to use dwarven accounting to record the party loot & funds.

dwarven accounting is when you sit in a corner of the fortress in front of a table then suddenly become aware of everything there is in the fortress then the longer you sit in front of the table the more accurate your evaluation of the amounts of each thing is?

[Anonymouswizard]

* Ranks in Blacksmithing are not useful when making cheese.
** Even for dwarves.


* Even if the rules explicitly say robot characters have no luck I cannot liberally apply Sod's Law.

[Telok]

dwarven accounting is when you sit in a corner of the fortress in front of a table then suddenly become aware of everything there is in the fortress then the longer you sit in front of the table the more accurate your evaluation of the amounts of each thing is?

In dwarven accounting the base unit is how much gold you have. It's a relative scale as opposed to an absolute one. It gets more fun at the advanced level where concepts like "not enough" and "i can take his" are actual numbers you can work with.

* May not answer "what's in the loot bag?" with "84 ne, about 50 hp, a dragon, and 5+1 trash". (Lots of "not enough", 12 healing potions, "i want a dragon to loot", and some +1 useless armor bits)

[Rater202]

*I cannot have a Klyntar Symbiote in any setting that doesn't have Klyntar Symbiotes.
**Even if I have detailed lists of how and why they'd gain what kind of powers bonded with the unique human variants or other life-forms of various settings.
***I can't go on detailed rants about how Force Sensitive symbiotes, ki using symbiotes, chakra using symbiotes, haki using symbiotes, symbiotes wit absorbed quirks, symbiotes with Saiyan DNA, symbiotes with Kryptonian DNA, Tamaranian-symbiotes, Jinchurki-Symbiotes, various Kekei Genkai possessing symbiotes, Aura using Symbiotes, and symbiotes combined with various types of Pokemon would be like.
****Symbiotes have no place in Middle Earth.
*****I can't use symbiote genetic adaption to become the Sage of Six Paths.
******Can't use Symbiotes to survive in the Capital Wasteland, the Mojave, or the Commonwealth.
*******I can't become a Dragonborn by having a piece of symbiote infect The Last Dragonborn and then come harvest it later when it's absorbed their DNA and knowledge and adapted to it all.
********Regardless of the setting, I can't use Symbiotes to cheat my way into mastery of magic.

[Kareeah_Indaga]

Not allowed to make a herd of Ryhorn combine, Voltron-style, to make a boss fight for April Fools Day.

*******I can't become a Dragonborn by having a piece of symbiote infect The Last Dragonborn and then come harvest it later when it's absorbed their DNA and knowledge and adapted to it all.

Naturally not, both you and the symbiote would already have your own souls, so all you’d get out of it is knowledge of whatever Shouts the Dragonborn knew at the time. A Dovah soul isn’t something you can just morph your own into; Varen tried, it ended poorly.

Now, since the Dovahsos is to all appearances inheritable the symbiote’s spawn might end up Dragonborn, since mommy symbiote would now have the bloodline for it. The whole, ‘granting sound-based powers while being weak to sound’ bit would still be an issue, but you were going to run into that anyway.

[Rater202]

Naturally not, both you and the symbiote would already have your own souls, so all you’d get out of it is knowledge of whatever Shouts the Dragonborn knew at the time. A Dovah soul isn’t something you can just morph your own into; Varen tried, it ended poorly.

Now, since the Dovahsos is to all appearances inheritable the symbiote’s spawn might end up Dragonborn, since mommy symbiote would now have the bloodline for it. The whole, ‘granting sound-based powers while being weak to sound’ bit would still be an issue, but you were going to run into that anyway.

Symbiotes are known to be able to absorb mystical, spiritual, and cosmic essences and energies. They're basically a piece of a Primordial Elder God's Shadow, and they exist for the sake of killing Gods and stealing their power.

Bonding to a Dragonborn well could allow an individual symbiote to gain the properties of a Dragonborn. The problem isn't that it can't be done, but that it's not permitted to try.

Also, 1: The symbiote's weaknesses to heat and sound is mostly psychosomatic: Those things can kill them and are among the only things that truly can, but the only reason they seem to hurt them more than anything else is that they have a genetic memory of All-Black being hammered into a sword.

It's explicitly stated, for example, that they don't mind loud noises or fires that they themselves made—Scream even has a "sonic knife" that use high-frequency vibrations and the sound waves they generate to enhance its cutting power.

2: With the exception of a summoning, the Thuum isn't really that loud. It's literally just as loud as a shout. Unrelenting Force isn't you shouting loud enough that the sound pushes someone back, it's you shouting "Force" and kinetic force come into existence. Wouldn't be a problem.

[Kareeah_Indaga]

Symbiotes are known to be able to absorb mystical, spiritual, and cosmic essences and energies. They're basically a piece of a Primordial Elder God's Shadow, and they exist for the sake of killing Gods and stealing their power.

Bonding to a Dragonborn well could allow an individual symbiote to gain the properties of a Dragonborn. The problem isn't that it can't be done, but that it's not permitted to try.

Being unstealable except by their own is kind of the whole shtick of the Dovah soul though, that’s why soul trap doesn’t work on them and being Dragonborn is a big deal in the first place. If it could have been done the snake vampires would have hunted down a clutch of the cute little goo monsters and babysat them for a few centuries, it would have been much simpler!

Also, 1: The symbiote's weaknesses to heat and sound is mostly psychosomatic: Those things can kill them and are among the only things that truly can, but the only reason they seem to hurt them more than anything else is that they have a genetic memory of All-Black being hammered into a sword.

It's explicitly stated, for example, that they don't mind loud noises or fires that they themselves made—Scream even has a "sonic knife" that use high-frequency vibrations and the sound waves they generate to enhance its cutting power.

Explicitly stated where, because the only time I recall Scream using a sonic knife was when her first host killed her siblings’ first hosts, I’ve been trying to track down that sort of thing.

The pain being all in their heads doesn’t help if it still hurts.

2: With the exception of a summoning, the Thuum isn't really that loud. It's literally just as loud as a shout. Unrelenting Force isn't you shouting loud enough that the sound pushes someone back, it's you shouting "Force" and kinetic force come into existence. Wouldn't be a problem.

Recall that you will also be on the receiving end, because the Dovah also Shout.

[Rater202]

Being unstealable except by their own is kind of the whole shtick of the Dovah soul though, that’s why soul trap doesn’t work on them and being Dragonborn is a big deal in the first place. If it could have been done the snake vampires would have hunted down a clutch of the cute little goo monsters and babysat them for a few centuries, it would have been much simpler!

Yeah, but this isn't stealing a soul. It's bonding to it, analyzing it, and replicating its properties within yourself.

Though their "Divine Slaying" power seems to work by bypassing whatever the source of a god or godlike being's immortality is, and on at least two occasions a Symbiote has been known to have absorbed a soul outright... so if it came down to it, in theory, one could argue that a properly adapted Symbiote is already a Dragonborn.

BeingExplicitly stated where, because the only time I recall Scream using a sonic knife was when her first host killed her siblings’ first hosts, I’ve been trying to track down that sort of thing.

The pain being all in their heads doesn’t help if it still hurts.

Off the top of my head, Superior Carnage has a sequences where Karl Malus, while bonded to Carnage, merged a flamethrower with the symbiotes while explicitly stating that the symbiote didn't seem to mind fire if it was the one starting them.


And this was before Carnage gained heat and sonic resistance from the Darkhold.

Recall that you will also be on the receiving end, because the Dovah also Shout.

And again, they're not that loud. Honestly back when I played Skyrim I couldn't even make out most shouts used by Dov over the sound of the fireball or ice storm.

[Laughing Dog]

*I am not allowed to layer multiple Disguise Selfs upon myself.
**Especially not if each layer look exactly like I normally do.
***That it made the guards say screw it and let my allies who were under Disguise Selfs to look like other people through the Magic-Disguise-Detection checkpoint without so much as a dispel upon them is not an excuse.

*Not allowed to play a Hylian with a grudge against dragons.

[P. G. Macer]

*May not phrase a double ententdre while talking to a tree via speak with plants.

*The ethereal staff of a Mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion do not appreciate my fire genasi’s desire to have all meats served beyond well-done.

EDIT: correcting autocorrect

[Anonymouswizard]

* Staffs do not have a full-auto setting

[danielxcutter]

There's an epic feat that lets you fire wands or staffs with your iteratives(though you'll be burning through charges fast if you do) in 3.5e, FWIW.

[Rater202]

*When given a single uncorrupted use of the Wish Spell(I explain the effect I want OOC and get it) at first level, I can't ask to have the spell Magic Missile augmented with the effects of the Chain Spell, Enlarge Spell, Fortify Spell, Heightened Spell(9th level,) Maximize Spell, Quicken Spell, Twin Spell, and Wounding Spell meta magic feats as a spell-like ability usable at will with a caster level equal to my hit-dice.
**I can't use this to qualify for Force Missle Mage.

[PhoenixPhyre]

I may no longer presciently make 4th-wall breaking references that actually fit the party better than I realized. <singing> We're off to see the wizard(ess)...</singing>

[Rater202]

*I can't make a monk/warlock gestalt and treat my warlock invocations and eldritch blasts as ki manipulation.
**I can't name myself "Goku."

[danielxcutter]

*I can't make a monk/warlock gestalt and treat my warlock invocations and eldritch blasts as ki manipulation.
**I can't name myself "Goku."

Isn't there a 5e Monk subclass that's literally that?

[Anonymouswizard]

Isn't there a 5e Monk subclass that's literally that?

Sun Soul Monk. It's not the best, but I believe it's better than The Way of the Four Elements.


* My One Unique Thing cannot be that I'm the half-sibling of every major political figure.
** My goal cannot be to may every Icon.
* Renaissance Man is not a valid background.

[Rater202]

*When the entire party consists of half-dragons, don't form romantic relationships with other members of the party.
**Especially when the GM insists that we all be the same color, and all have a dragon father than we didn't know.
***In hindsight it's obvious that he intends us to be half-siblings.
****Can't double down on the relationship after the reveal.
*****Pointing out that elves and dwarves aren't interfertile and that we're both biologically female somehow makes it worse.

Not real, but it's something I can easily imagine happening if the GM isn't clear with their intentions right off the bat.

[John Campbell]

*I am not permitted to set fire to the moat during the siege.
**Especially since we're the ones laying siege and it just means we can't get our guys across.
***I have to explain how I intend to set the water on fire.

**** I may not actually have an answer to that question.
***** Major creation cannot create chlorine trifluoride.

(Chlorine trifluoride, ClF₃, is possibly the most aggressive fluoridator known to man. The fluorine will kick oxygen (which is itself no slouch about forcing its way into molecules that were perfectly happy without it) right out of compounds, which means that it will ignite on contact things that we would normally consider already burnt to hell and gone. Like water. Or ashes. Or sand.

The boiling clouds of hydrofluoric acid are merely a courtesy detail.)

[Lord Torath]

****** The DM may have a harder time forbidding naphtha/greek fire, which has been known to float on water.

[Rater202]

**** I may not actually have an answer to that question.
***** Major creation cannot create chlorine trifluoride.

(Chlorine trifluoride, ClF₃, is possibly the most aggressive fluoridator known to man. The fluorine will kick oxygen (which is itself no slouch about forcing its way into molecules that were perfectly happy without it) right out of compounds, which means that it will ignite on contact things that we would normally consider already burnt to hell and gone. Like water. Or ashes. Or sand.

The boiling clouds of hydrofluoric acid are merely a courtesy detail.)

My understanding is that it is one of the deadliest substances known to man.

[danielxcutter]

My understanding is that it is one of the deadliest substances known to man.

Is that any worse than dioxygen difluoride? Heard about that thanks to xkcd. That stuff's seriously nasty.

[Rater202]

Is that any worse than dioxygen difluoride? Heard about that thanks to xkcd. That stuff's seriously nasty.

Imagine fire that burns glass, sand, and water.

Now imagine that its smoke is a deadly poison.

It can be contained in certain metals with a certain kind of coating, but the only solution for if there's a breach is to run like Hell.

FOOF burns hotter, but Chlorine trifluoride is scarier.

[Lord Raziere]

Is that any worse than dioxygen difluoride? Heard about that thanks to xkcd. That stuff's seriously nasty.

I think Chlorine Trifluoride wins out by the fact a spill of it like, 900kg once burned through 30cm of concrete and 90cm of gravel underneath. 02F2 ignites with almost any organic substance. Chlorine Trifluoride does that AND reacts with inorganic ones we normally think of as fireproof as well.

* May not make a Chlorine Trifluoride jutsu, kekkei genkai or kekkei touta
** May not make a Chlorine Trifluoride Quirk, X-Men mutant or Spiderman villain
*** Discovering Chlorine Trifluoride in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist is right out

[Rater202]

I think Chlorine Trifluoride wins out by the fact a spill of it like, 900kg once burned through 30cm of concrete and 90cm of gravel underneath. 02F2 ignites with almost any organic substance. Chlorine Trifluoride does that AND reacts with inorganic ones we normally think of as fireproof as well.

* May not make a Chlorine Trifluoride jutsu, kekkei genkai or kekkei touta
** May not make a Chlorine Trifluoride Quirk, X-Men mutant or Spiderman villain
*** Discovering Chlorine Trifluoride in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist is right out

...I mean, technically there's a Spider-Man associated character who can do that.

He's not a villain per say, but Sleeper, the seventh offspring of the Venom Symbiote, has high-level chemokinesis and can create any liquid or gaseous substance as well as custom chemicals to do whatever effect it needs.

You could argue that a creature that's weak to fire shouldn't be able to make flaming chemicals... But it can canonically generate napalm.