Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[P. G. Macer]

According to an argument between me and my DM:
*A bard has to have musical inclination.
** I cannot under any circumstance be a bard of writing, be it prose or poetry.
*** I am not to circumvent said prejudice by playing another charisma based class and refluff their several support options with oratory.

(Yes, this was a real point, and no I am not investing more time into it than necessary.)

Ouch, that is rough. What really stings if you’re playing 5e (which may be a faulty assumption on my part) is that there is specifically a Bard College that focuses on oratory, the College of Eloquence. Even if you’re not playing 5e, your DM/GM seems to be behaving in an overly restrictive manner, as the “wandering musical minstrel” trope entered the D&D Bard class rather late in the class’s history (from what I’ve heard), reflecting originally the Celtic bards of legend, who were more like what you’re describing.

[danielxcutter]

I'm pretty sure 3.5e lets you do that too. Heck, there's even a Perform(weapon drill) in Complete Warrior.

[Anonymouswizard]

According to an argument between me and my DM:
*A bard has to have musical inclination.
** I cannot under any circumstance be a bard of writing, be it prose or poetry.
*** I am not to circumvent said prejudice by playing another charisma based class and refluff their several support options with oratory.

(Yes, this was a real point, and no I am not investing more time into it than necessary.)

My country's obsession with a certain bard is displeased.

* It is not, and never will be, the winter of our discontent.

[noob]

I'm pretty sure 3.5e lets you do that too. Heck, there's even a Perform(weapon drill) in Complete Warrior.

Perform weapon drill is the only perform that is not allowed to be used for bardic music.
You can however mid battle empower your allies with perform tea ceremony.
*may no longer make my players fight a bard that adds cold damage to its attacks through perform tea ceremony.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Perform (Human Statue), while technically valid for Bardic Music, is just plain silly.

[danielxcutter]

My country's obsession with a certain bard is displeased.

* It is not, and never will be, the winter of our discontent.

The what.

Perform weapon drill is the only perform that is not allowed to be used for bardic music.
You can however mid battle empower your allies with perform tea ceremony.
*may no longer make my players fight a bard that adds cold damage to its attacks through perform tea ceremony.

Yeah, but my point is that the DM was being an unnecessary stickler.

[Rater202]

* Perform (Human Statue), while technically valid for Bardic Music, is just plain silly.

*My human statue bard variant can not make the rest of the party pull him around in a wagon while he holds perfectly still to give an indefinite inspire courage effect.
** Even if I choose a race that doesn't need sleep and could logically hold still indefinitely.

[P. G. Macer]

The what.

“Now is the winter of our discontent” is famously the opening line of William Shakespeare’s Richard III. Shakespeare is also known as the Bard of Avon or simply as the Bard (unless you’re in Scotland, in which case the Bard is Robert Burns).

[Calthropstu]

*Making a character who carries 50 derringers on his person, has a metric crapton of points in fast draw, and enough wealth to just discard each derringer after shooting it, with the intent of rapid-firing them at a comparable rate as someone with a semiautomatic or revolver, isn’t exactly a viable concept due to the multiple action limitations of the system.
**It is also silly.

It is also a thing. Meryl Stryfe from the bernardelli insurance society.

[Bohandas]

*Making a character who carries 50 derringers on his person, has a metric crapton of points in fast draw, and enough wealth to just discard each derringer after shooting it, with the intent of rapid-firing them at a comparable rate as someone with a semiautomatic or revolver, isn’t exactly a viable concept due to the multiple action limitations of the system.
**It is also silly.

It's actually arguably amstep down from some action movies. Most notably The Matrix, which has a scene where Neo does this except with Uzis

[Lord Raziere]

It's actually arguably amstep down from some action movies. Most notably The Matrix, which has a scene where Neo does this except with Uzis

* may not come up with a superhero concept thats all about creating infinite disposable guns in M&M to emulate an action hero
** even if its incredibly easy and just requires Damage, Ranged of various PLs without any drawbacks.
*** May not go full Mami Tomoe from PMMM and do this with nothing but muskets.
**** May not do this a character who creates improvised guns out of random junk that break as soon as they fire.

[Rater202]

* may not come up with a superhero concept thats all about creating infinite disposable guns in M&M to emulate an action hero
** even if its incredibly easy and just requires Damage, Ranged of various PLs without any drawbacks.
*** May not go full Mami Tomoe from PMMM and do this with nothing but muskets.
**** May not do this a character who creates improvised guns out of random junk that break as soon as they fire.

I am the bullet in the chamber.
Steel is my body and blasting powder is my blood.
I have created over a thousand guns
Unaware of loss,
nor aware of gain.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
And yet, these hands will never hold anything
So, as I pray...
My whole life is Unlimited Firearm Works.

*Cannot make the obvious reference.
**Cannot be Shirou but with guns and ammo.
***Nor can I be Gilgamesh with guns.
****I cannot beat people over the head with high-quality guns becuase I have an arbitrarily large number of them but they're all unique and I never bothered to learn how to use any of them.

[Lord Raziere]

I am the bullet in the chamber.
Steel is my body and blasting powder is my blood.
I have created over a thousand guns
Unaware of loss,
nor aware of gain.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
And yet, these hands will never hold anything
So, as I pray...
My whole life is Unlimited Firearm Works.

* Cannot make this concept but with an Ork
** Cannot name it "Moar Dakka Works"
*** Cannot combine this with Sans to get Gaster Blasters in there as well
**** Sans Orkertale Emiya is concept that should never exist and never will.
***** My foes will have not have a "WAAAAAAAAGH Time"

[Telok]

* Any character concept containing the phrase "ICanHasCheeseburger crossed with TvTropes plus 4chan".

** Nor am I allowed to sneak it through as "Krosp/Deadpool".

[BisectedBrioche]

* Your scoundrel's main enemy can't be LeChuck from Monkey Island

Full disclosure: I allowed it.

[Spore]

I am the bullet in the chamber.
Steel is my body and blasting powder is my blood.
I have created over a thousand guns
Unaware of loss,
nor aware of gain.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
And yet, these hands will never hold anything
So, as I pray...
My whole life is Unlimited Firearm Works.

*Explosions are not an instrument.
** Gun is also not an instrument.
*** There is no College of Guns bardic subclass.
**** If you want cowboy romance in your game, just give your bard firearm proficiency and a guitar.
***** *sigh* You can be Arizona Ranger if you refluff Arizona to a locale in our setting.
****** Texas Red has to be refluffed as well.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If I win the Holy Grail War I'm expected to wish for more than a scone.
** Even if I know about the corruption in-character.
*** 'People will no longer put the cream on first' is also not valid.

[Rater202]

* If I win the Holy Grail War I'm expected to wish for more than a scone.
** Even if I know about the corruption in-character.
*** 'People will no longer put the cream on first' is also not valid.

For what it's worth, some AUs and spin-offs imply that wishes that are simple or humble, things like "I want to be an ordinary human with no special powers" or "I want people to take my ideas seriously" and the like tend to go off without a hitch, All The World's Evils or not.

[danielxcutter]

*Explosions are not an instrument.
** Gun is also not an instrument.
*** There is no College of Guns bardic subclass.
**** If you want cowboy romance in your game, just give your bard firearm proficiency and a guitar.
***** *sigh* You can be Arizona Ranger if you refluff Arizona to a locale in our setting.
****** Texas Red has to be refluffed as well.

*Tartar sauce is not an instrument.

* If I win the Holy Grail War I'm expected to wish for more than a scone.
** Even if I know about the corruption in-character.
*** 'People will no longer put the cream on first' is also not valid.

For what it's worth, some AUs and spin-offs imply that wishes that are simple or humble, things like "I want to be an ordinary human with no special powers" or "I want people to take my ideas seriously" and the like tend to go off without a hitch, All The World's Evils or not.

Wasn't Avenger himself not an asshat and it was mostly just the curses tattooed onto him that did it, plus the fact that the Grail hadn't been used for three Wars so far?

Also the scone's probably going to be poisonous. Not sure how it'd twist the wish about putting the cream on first, though.

[Anonymouswizard]

For what it's worth, some AUs and spin-offs imply that wishes that are simple or humble, things like "I want to be an ordinary human with no special powers" or "I want people to take my ideas seriously" and the like tend to go off without a hitch, All The World's Evils or not.

You also have timeline issues, the grail has only been cursed since the third way in the Stay Night timeline, is inherently cursed in the Prototype timeline (which yes, I want a full anime in), and in other timelines might not even be corrupted at all. You also have the issue that whoile quite a few Servants might have simple wishes, many Masters won't because being a participant is pretty exoensive.

Wasn't Avenger himself not an asshat and it was mostly just the curses tattooed onto him that did it, plus the fact that the Grail hadn't been used for three Wars so far?

Also the scone's probably going to be poisonous. Not sure how it'd twist the wish about putting the cream on first, though.

It's pretty much the curses on Avenger as I remember, he was just a scapegoat. Unless we're talking Prototype timeline, in which case it just seems to be inherently cursed. It's also, I believe, not actually meant to grant wishes, being made by the Eizberns to regain their lost magic, but can certainly use it's energy to do other things.

But yes, if you wished for a cup of tea the grail would probably put the milk in first.

[danielxcutter]

You also have timeline issues, the grail has only been cursed since the third way in the Stay Night timeline, is inherently cursed in the Prototype timeline (which yes, I want a full anime in), and in other timelines might not even be corrupted at all. You also have the issue that whoile quite a few Servants might have simple wishes, many Masters won't because being a participant is pretty exoensive.

Also they're mages. 99.9% of them are total asshats.

Oh, and it actually went off without a hitch in the Grand Order timeline. Unfortunately, that kinda indirectly caused more than a few problems down the road.

It's pretty much the curses on Avenger as I remember, he was just a scapegoat. Unless we're talking Prototype timeline, in which case it just seems to be inherently cursed. It's also, I believe, not actually meant to grant wishes, being made by the Eizberns to regain their lost magic, but can certainly use it's energy to do other things.

But yes, if you wished for a cup of tea the grail would probably put the milk in first.

Prototype's Grail was based on gathering the thoughts and stuff of the people of Tokyo. Except instead of an angel, they got Beast VI. 666, the Beast of the Apocalypse, the eighth Servant that must never been summoned. So it's a bit different from Avenger, though I believe Avenger also was a Beast candidate.

Edit: Also I assume that order's the one that makes it taste awful? Now I want an omake about that.

[Rater202]

Getting black-out drunk, climbing a mountain, and hitting on whatever's at the top is not the most efficient way to befriend powerful supernatural creatures.

[danielxcutter]

Getting black-out drunk, climbing a mountain, and hitting on whatever's at the top is not the most efficient way to befriend powerful supernatural creatures.

It probably is for a Cult of Ecstasy mage though. I'm not even kidding about that.

[Bohandas]

It probably is for a Cult of Ecstasy mage though. I'm not even kidding about that.

Or for a Slaaneshi sorceror

[Rater202]

I cannot take the Batmobile on a beer run.

[Anonymouswizard]

Or for a Slaaneshi sorceror

Nah, for Slaaneshi sorcerers you'd need to do it whole pumping power metal into one ear and gangster rap into the other, while wearing a hot pink dinner jacket, line green t-shirt, and canary yellow trousers. Also two beanies of clashing colours and a raspberry beret.

No, the latter does not get you out of wearing much more.

[Rater202]

I am not permitted under any circumstances to eat the other pcs.

[Calthropstu]

I am not permitted under any circumstances to eat the other pcs.

Our party had no food and no access to spells. One party member had regeneration. So I can see this happening non-maliciously.

[Rater202]

Our party had no food and no access to spells. One party member had regeneration. So I can see this happening non-maliciously.

In this case we are referring to a monstrous pc* in a party of more traditional characters.

*And I don't mean an orc, goblin, or kobold. We're talking actual monsters.

[Anonymouswizard]

*And I don't mean an orc, goblin, or kobold. We're talking actual monsters.

Ah, a kender.

* I cannot play a kender paladin.
** No, not even if I explain exactly who I've 'borrowed' the powers from.
*** This does not make me immune to falling.