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Results 931 to 960 of 975
  1. - Top - End - #931
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    As no "her" was specified, you wind up telling the Venus de Milo that you think she's pretty damn snazzy. Being a statue, she is unmoved.

    I roll to grow mint in my garden.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  2. - Top - End - #932
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Alexei's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Manila, Philippines.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    As no "her" was specified, you wind up telling the Venus de Milo that you think she's pretty damn snazzy. Being a statue, she is unmoved.

    I roll to grow mint in my garden.
    All you find is a single mint - the candy, mind you - on the soil after a kid dropped it. It doesn't even taste nice.

    I roll to feed a pig.
    Burning down Forests is a Hobby in DnD. I don't usually do it myself because of a lack of Any Foliage where I am. If you'd like to donate a shrub for me to burn then please stay away from me.

  3. - Top - End - #933
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The pig refuses the food you offer and thinks it’s disgusting. It eats your hand instead.

    I roll to build a snowman.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  4. - Top - End - #934
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    The pig refuses the food you offer and thinks it’s disgusting. It eats your hand instead.

    I roll to build a snowman.
    Uh, well... you did build a snowman

    I roll to find love.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  5. - Top - End - #935
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    KAmber's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You find love. That is, love-50 in a tennis match.
    I roll to get a natural 1.

  6. - Top - End - #936
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Alexei's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Manila, Philippines.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by KAmber View Post
    You find love. That is, love-50 in a tennis match.
    I roll to get a natural 1.
    The die... bounces on the table and hits you square in the eye. Rough, buddy.

    I roll to take off my sock.
    Burning down Forests is a Hobby in DnD. I don't usually do it myself because of a lack of Any Foliage where I am. If you'd like to donate a shrub for me to burn then please stay away from me.

  7. - Top - End - #937
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your sock consumes you whole.

    I roll to be the first human to set foot on an exoplanet.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  8. - Top - End - #938
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You fly your ship directly into the sun by mistake.

    I roll to destroy the vicious demonic snowman I created earlier with my flamethrower.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  9. - Top - End - #939
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Flyingbooks42's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The demonic snowman feeds on the fire and grows stronger.

    I roll to turn the demonic snowman into my familiar.
    Avatar by me
    LGBTQA+itp

    I am agender, so please use gender-neutral pronouns when referring to me, and, unless I explicitly say otherwise, my characters.

  10. - Top - End - #940
    Orc in the Playground
     
    TinyMushroom's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Under your bed

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The demonic snowman has more wizard levels than you, and it makes you ITS familiar instead.

    I roll to assemble a party to slay the snowman.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gligarman2 View Post
    14. I will not counterspell when Celestia raises the sun.
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    Adopt one, or ask for a custom avatar!
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  11. - Top - End - #941
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You assemble the party--which promptly betrays you to the snowman. Oh, those pesky traitors...

    I roll to be at the very top of Santa's Naughty list.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  12. - Top - End - #942
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You end up on Giantitp’s “banned for all eternity” list instead.

    I roll to dig up a dinosaur skeleton.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  13. - Top - End - #943
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Silent_Interim's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Somewhere South of Hell

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You break into a local museum, steal some dinosaur bones, and bury them. Then you are arrested.

    I roll to break Dire Moose out of jail.
    I go by them/they/their pronouns, but I'm comfortable with he/him/his or she/her/hers.

    Spoiler: STUFFS
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Yes... continue ignoring me... exactly as planned
    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    'Kay! Ignoring a ninja never hurt anyone.



    Being terrible at being a wolf since always.

  14. - Top - End - #944
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
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    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Dire Moose: "So, what're you in for?"

    Silent_Interim: "Well...you."

    I roll to have been the mastermind behind this would-be jailbreak.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  15. - Top - End - #945
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Far away
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You start plotting to break free but you get distracted easily by the prison life. The food is actually delicious and your roomates/people around you are lovely!

    I try to bribe a guard with a cookie to get out.

  16. - Top - End - #946
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The guard is allergic to cookies and dies. You end up serving even more time as a result.

    I roll to lead the first manned mission to Mars.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  17. - Top - End - #947
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Silent_Interim's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Somewhere South of Hell

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    NASA politely declines your application, on the grounds that you lack some key qualifications, and also it's in crayon, and also it was sent from prison.

    I roll to assert dominance over the other prisoners in the cell block that Dire Moose, CyberiadQueen, c.r.i.s.e.l and myself seem to be sharing within this shared constructed fiction.
    I go by them/they/their pronouns, but I'm comfortable with he/him/his or she/her/hers.

    Spoiler: STUFFS
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Yes... continue ignoring me... exactly as planned
    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    'Kay! Ignoring a ninja never hurt anyone.



    Being terrible at being a wolf since always.

  18. - Top - End - #948
    Orc in the Playground
     
    TinyMushroom's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Under your bed

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You attempt your strongest T-pose, but your fellow prisoners aren't acquainted enough with gamer culture and the reference falls flat.

    I roll to dig a tunnel into this jail to set the poor souls free.
    Last edited by TinyMushroom; 2019-12-19 at 06:54 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gligarman2 View Post
    14. I will not counterspell when Celestia raises the sun.
    Do you want an avatar?
    Adopt one, or ask for a custom avatar!
    Portfolio

  19. - Top - End - #949
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You get buried alive.

    I roll to convince the governor that I'm the warden, and that this was all just an unfortunate misunderstanding.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  20. - Top - End - #950
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    As some other prisoners have escaped during all the confusion, all wardens are considered accomplices and end up in jail as well.

    As escaping is impossible, I roll to become the head cook so to have a cushy job inside.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  21. - Top - End - #951
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You screw up cooking so badly that the pie you’re cooking mutates into a sentient life form and eats you.

    I roll to slay the giants that have been raiding my village.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  22. - Top - End - #952
    Orc in the Playground
     
    TinyMushroom's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Under your bed

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You viciously charge straight at the windmills standing next to your village, thinking them to be the giants in disguise. However, you run straight into one of the blades and get knocked out.

    I roll to convince rapunzel to let down her hair so I can climb into her tower.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gligarman2 View Post
    14. I will not counterspell when Celestia raises the sun.
    Do you want an avatar?
    Adopt one, or ask for a custom avatar!
    Portfolio

  23. - Top - End - #953
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    After hearing your case, Rapunzel lets down her hear...completely cut off from her head. Your metaphors disgusted her so much she's decided to go bald for the rest of her life.

    I roll to start the French Revolution in 1789.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  24. - Top - End - #954
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You restore the House of Bourbon to their rightful place on the French throne, thus altering the course of history.

    I roll not to remind people that Marie Antoinette never actually said, "Let them eat cake".
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  25. - Top - End - #955
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Samba Mentality's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    The Deep Blue

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Marie Antoinette suddenly appears through some freak accident in the space-time continuum and shouts to the masses, “let them eat cake!”

    I roll to push Javert.


    GENERATION 18: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. This is a social experiment.

    DEGENERATION 94: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

    Check out my artwork here!

  26. - Top - End - #956
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You lay hands on Javert but lose your balance, and are subsequently charged with assaulting an officer and thrown into Toulon prison, where you are assigned prisoner number 10642.


    I roll to roll a croissant.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  27. - Top - End - #957
    Ghost in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Hyrule
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Why does my breakfast look more like pita bread than croissants?

    I roll to fall over.
    Come, Fairies, take me out of this dull world,
    for I would ride with you upon the wind
    and dance upon the mountains like a flame!

    ~*~ William Butler Yeats


    The little sweeties in my userpic are Sage and Nutmeg.

  28. - Top - End - #958
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You dramatically black out, and begin to fall backwards. When you recover, you find yourself duct taped to the ceiling with no memory of how you ended up there. Evidently you have failed to hit the ground.

    I roll to transform and roll out.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  29. - Top - End - #959
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You curl up on the floor and immediately throw out your back.

    I roll to grill salmon.
    Mina, Lynera, Ajax, Vena.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  30. - Top - End - #960
    Ghost in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Hyrule
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Toadstool flambé! My favorite...not so much..

    I roll to open up a knitting-needle factory, financed by somebody else's dollar.
    Come, Fairies, take me out of this dull world,
    for I would ride with you upon the wind
    and dance upon the mountains like a flame!

    ~*~ William Butler Yeats


    The little sweeties in my userpic are Sage and Nutmeg.

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