Support the GITP forums on Patreon
Help support GITP's forums (and ongoing server maintenance) via Patreon
Page 14 of 34 FirstFirst ... 456789101112131415161718192021222324 ... LastLast
Results 391 to 420 of 998
  1. - Top - End - #391
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You brick the console. HOW DID YOU BRICK THE CONSOLE?!

    I roll to find a new console.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  2. - Top - End - #392
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You trip over a pile of actual bricks.


    I roll to try and break a Nintendo console.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  3. - Top - End - #393
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You break your foot on the console, which is now laughing at you.

    I roll to speak Klingon.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  4. - Top - End - #394
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    I'm no Trekkie, but that sounds strangely like Dutch to me.

    I roll to fall down.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  5. - Top - End - #395
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Arizona USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You miss the ground, and end up flying.

    I roll to miss the ground as well.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  6. - Top - End - #396
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Halfway down to the ground you're hit by a truck and get stuck in the grill.

    I roll to stop the truck I'm driving so I can get him in and bring him to a hospital.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  7. - Top - End - #397
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You stop the truck and get him into the hospital. Not in that order.

    I roll to write a decent obituary for our friend here.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  8. - Top - End - #398
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    It's sort of less obituary, and more posthumous roast. Well, at least you gave it your all.

    I roll to have nothing to do with these new shenanigans.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  9. - Top - End - #399
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    "-and last on the docket today we have CyberiadQueen, the cause of every last thing to happen in this entire thread."

    I roll up a new DND character.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  10. - Top - End - #400
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your highest stat is 3.


    I roll to drive.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  11. - Top - End - #401
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You putt. And putt. And putt. Tiger Woods is unimpressed.

    I roll to be found guilty of instigating all this chaos.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  12. - Top - End - #402
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    "We find the defendant guilty of metagaming in the first degree."

    I roll to finish my school project.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  13. - Top - End - #403
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Eighteen hours later, you've successfully reversed all progress on it and totally forget what the project even was.

    I roll to greet CyberiadQueen at the prison (again).
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  14. - Top - End - #404
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You ignore me utterly.

    I roll to fill in the blanks.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  15. - Top - End - #405
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You fill the blanks in with racial slurs and vulgar jokes.

    I roll to go on vacation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  16. - Top - End - #406
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You wind up having to spend all your vacation money on car repairs.


    I roll to repair HalfTangible's car.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  17. - Top - End - #407
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Arizona USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    In retrospect, you shouldn't have used that sledgehammer to fix it.

    I roll a spot check to identify the damage.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  18. - Top - End - #408
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    There is nothing wrong with this car. In fact, you're so certain of this that you set your own car on fire, so as to have it match the standards set by HalfTangible's car.

    I roll to facepalm.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  19. - Top - End - #409
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You punch yourself in the kidney.

    I roll to clean an elephant's teeth!
    Mina, Lynera, Ajax, Vena.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  20. - Top - End - #410
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You give the elephant cavities.

    I roll to be inexplicable.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  21. - Top - End - #411
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Oh I understand perfectly. And so does everyone else on the planet.

    I roll to buy a new car because my old one got smashed with a hammer and is also on fire, FOR SOME REASON!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  22. - Top - End - #412
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You're gonna love this one! It's a steal at 39 dollars! Only on fire once and smashed a dozen times!

    And yes, I mean "a steal" literally. Because it was stolen. From you.


    I roll to drink myself silly.
    Last edited by Ironsmith; 2019-03-17 at 01:03 AM.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  23. - Top - End - #413
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You've never been so sober.

    I roll to burn toast.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  24. - Top - End - #414
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The toaster explodes before you can put bread into it.

    I roll to get out of the nightmare that is this thread and into the nat 20 thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

    Current Roleplaying
    Karal Nord in Welcome to Thorns
    Veritus-Timens Protectorate in Empire 5

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

  25. - Top - End - #415
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Now, even natural 20s are horrific blunders. Nice one.

    I roll to drive the Flaming Smashymobile.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  26. - Top - End - #416
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You somehow manage to impale yourself on the door and are rushed to the hospital.


    I roll to extract the door from Ironsmith's body.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  27. - Top - End - #417
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    The Island of Misfit Toys
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The door appears to be a permanent fixture. Well, I'm sure it'll be a nifty aid if he ever has surgery.

    I roll to thaw an ice cube.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  28. - Top - End - #418
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You, ah, picked a bad cube of ice to try that with.

    I roll to look at my own insides through the window in the door.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  29. - Top - End - #419
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You diagnose yourself with appendicitis and open the door to pull out the offending giblet. In fact, the door window was opaque in the first place, and now you have given yourself sepsis.

    But don't worry! I'll fix you!
    Mina, Lynera, Ajax, Vena.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  30. - Top - End - #420
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your gun-hands both jam at the same time, and you shoot yourself in the face while trying to fix them.

    I roll to teach a kindergarten class.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •