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  1. - Top - End - #1471
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyberiad_Queen View Post
    Welcome to the dice avalanche. You're gonna be down there a while.

    I roll to initiate a rescue mission after the dice avalanche.
    You only make things worse and get trapped in the dice avalanche.

    I roll to do NOTHING about the dice avalanche and stay indoors and enjoy a nice snack. Nope! I'm not gonna roll to do something about the dice. I'm rolling to do the exact opposite.

  2. - Top - End - #1472
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
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    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You dive straight in.

    AAAAGH! It's not a liquid! It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface! AAAAGGHH!



    I roll to pull myself out using the mangled, broken bodies of my rescuers.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  3. - Top - End - #1473
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You try to do that, but only manage to get stabbed by the sharp d4's in the pile.

    I roll to dig people out of the dice with a shovel.

  4. - Top - End - #1474
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

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    Feb 2020
    Location
    Hyrule Castle
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Thanks to the blowtorch you bring in lieu of a shovel, the entire dice pile is now molten plastic slag. Thanks a lot.🙄

    I roll to make a mountain out of a molehill.
    .

  5. - Top - End - #1475
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    A d4 expands to the size of a mountain. Than it crushes you. Than it laughs. Somehow.

    I roll to climb the newly made mountain.

  6. - Top - End - #1476
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Hyrule Castle
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The mountain engulfs you. Then it laughs.

    I roll to claim this mountain in the name of the nearest government body.
    .

  7. - Top - End - #1477
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The nearest government body assumes that you're trying to usurp their authority for your own gain and has you imprisoned.

    I roll to find the nearest bathroom.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  8. - Top - End - #1478
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You find an outhouse! You do your thing, and than the door shuts, and the 'toilet' reveals its teeth...

    Yeah. Outhouse Mimics. They'll get you, man.

    I roll to lure in a cow to feed the mimic.

  9. - Top - End - #1479
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

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    Feb 2020
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    Hyrule Castle
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    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The cow ignores you entirely. And then the mimic eats you.

    I roll to summon the Cuccoo Death Squad.
    .

  10. - Top - End - #1480
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    I don't know about Cuccoos, but you do summon the Cuckoo Death Squad, which proceeds to replace all your belongings with their own, than they laugh.

    I roll to flip off the Grammar Nazis.


    OOC: I played my part too. I got my growing up to do too. Let's do our best to learn from our mistakes and move forward.
    Last edited by +5 Vorpal Bunny; 2020-12-30 at 01:09 AM.

  11. - Top - End - #1481
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You remind a Grammar Nazi of a typo in his upcoming book. You receive a commendation in the credits for this.

    I roll to decipher the hidden meaning behind the bolded letters in the previous posts.

  12. - Top - End - #1482
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

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    Feb 2020
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    Hyrule Castle
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    Female

    mad Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    {scrubbed}
    Last edited by Peelee; 2020-12-29 at 09:02 PM.
    .

  13. - Top - End - #1483
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Mar 2017
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    US
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Spoiler: Damn. Gotta get my money back for that ninja repellant.
    Show
    Let's see... E, E, K, A... that's clearly an acronym. EEKA... Everyone Eaten by Killer Ants.

    By a startling coincidence, there's some killer an🐜s nibbli🐜ng around the o🐜🐜side thread...

    ...ooooooh *scrubbed*.


    You hold their eyes open and force them to read the dictionary. Oxford. Cover to cover.

    I roll not to be eaten by ants.
    Last edited by flat_footed; 2020-12-29 at 11:32 PM.

  14. - Top - End - #1484
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You decide the best way to avoid being eaten by ants is to liberally douse yourself with honey and lay down directly on top of their nest. A foolproof plan, I'm sure.

    I roll to get along with people.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  15. - Top - End - #1485
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You decide to take 'De-escalation and You 101' from me. It works as well as you might imagine! :P

    I roll to move on and sincerely wish everyone a happy New Year.

  16. - Top - End - #1486
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Mar 2017
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    US
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You should be glad everyone in the room is drunk off their butt, because they otherwise might take offense to "happy new year's, you 🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜".

    Oh good, those are back.


    I roll to get ants to stop eating my posts.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  17. - Top - End - #1487
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your aunts start eating your posts instead! And than they post them on Facebook.

    I roll to make another lame relative-related pun.

  18. - Top - End - #1488
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Book Wombat's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Germany

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You manage to make the pun so amazing that you and your family can't handle its awesomeness and fall into a coma.

    I roll to be blinded by the sun.
    . .-. .-. --- .-. / ....- ----- ....- ---... / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / -. --- - / ..-. .. -. -.. / --.- ..- . ... - .. --- -. / ---... -.--.-

    Discord: Bookwhyrm#4020, feel free to DM.
    Avatar by linkele

    Book Wombat's Extended Signature

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    -. --- - / -- ..- -.-. .... / .... . .-. .

  19. - Top - End - #1489
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Fun fact: it's really hard to be blinded by the sun in the middle of the night.

    I roll to roll a roll to a null gnoll across the grassy knoll, knowledgeably.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  20. - Top - End - #1490
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You do a full roll into a bull who puts a whole hole in you. The gnoll is rather amused.

    I roll to be a director.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  21. - Top - End - #1491
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You get an internship with a film crew and spend 3 days lugging gear and making coffee in the hot sun before you get fired for accidentally tripping over the star act. That's showbusiness!

    I roll to dance the wild fandango.

  22. - Top - End - #1492
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You constantly step on your partner’s feet, eventually tripping and crashing to the ground. Right where a bear trap salesman had just set up shop, no less. Ouch!

    I roll to build a robot.
    LGBTitp

  23. - Top - End - #1493
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You end up building a snowman instead!

    I roll to unleash my hidden ice powers.

  24. - Top - End - #1494
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Mar 2017
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    US
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    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You set yourself on fire.

    I roll to extinguish the blaze.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  25. - Top - End - #1495
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Come to think of it, how many times have people rolled to put out fires here? Do you think it's enough to qualify as a running gag? Enough to incorporate into the next thread title?

    I roll to make a thread title that can double as Ironsmith's epitaph.
    Nexusites, Dorothy, Yondalla.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  26. - Top - End - #1496
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Just as you're about to make the first post, the power goes out. It seems that a tree fell on the power lines and it would take special tools such as a power saw and crane to repair them. Still, I can roll to repair the power lines and that's what I do.
    Last edited by bug_sniper; 2021-01-01 at 08:41 PM.

  27. - Top - End - #1497
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The power lines come alive and go out of control, starting a bunch of electrical fires. When they stop, the flames end up spelling 'This Thread is Fire - We Hardly Smelt Ya!'

    I roll to make a new thread where EVERYTHING is on fire.
    Last edited by +5 Vorpal Bunny; 2021-01-02 at 11:24 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #1498
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You make your thread in the vacuum of deep space, where both the cold and the lack of oxygen make sure that no fires are ever ignited.

    I roll to devise a chemical reaction that looks and feels like fire, but requires absolutely no oxygen.
    Please don't bully me if that's already a thing, I nearly failed chemistry.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  29. - Top - End - #1499
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Technically, nuclear fusion only requires hydrogen, so it's already a thing... but no worries, we all learn something new every day. :)
    You instead find a way to create actual absolute zero. The whole universe freezes over. Oops.

    I roll to create a new alternate universe where everything isn't frozen.

    OOC: New thread is up!
    Last edited by +5 Vorpal Bunny; 2021-01-03 at 06:31 AM.

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