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Thread: DnD Head Canons

  1. - Top - End - #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archpaladin Zousha View Post
    I like this idea immensely, especially since gives some depth to Angharradh, as well as weaving Vandria into FR very nicely. May I steal it, please?
    Thank you. And yes, of course, you may.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dexam View Post
    Naturally, all their attacks deal radian damage...
    Quote Originally Posted by Dexam View Post
    a sine from the gods...
    Nice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dexam View Post
    Their function in the heavenly courts is to act as messengers for the good-aligned deities to the mortal realms, evidenced by the fact that many people pray for and have received a sine from the gods...
    I would like to cosine these jokes, and log my objection to have not having thought of them first.
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    Summoning and the manifestation of divine aspects are closely related phenomena
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Hall View Post
    I would like to cosine these jokes, and log my objection to have not having thought of them first.
    Please don't send this thread off on a tangent with these math puns. I know it's the usual formula around these parts, but I really hope this time is differential.

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    can I post some WH40K head canons as well?

    if not just give a sign and I'll delete it

    - the minotaur chapter are made out of a mixture of geneseed of all chapters in an effort for the imperium to get a grip on the astartes


    - the dark angels would have gotten away with their original transgression with merely a slap on the wrist (the fallen didn't even join chaos), it's all the stuff they did to cover it up that pushes them into traitor territory


    - gork and mork were originally khorne and tzeentch, the old ones noticed that their creations gave power to these warp spirits and thus gave them 2 new gods, one who's brutal but cunning and one who's cunning but brutal, since they didn't reveal which one was which and by giving both atributes to both gods this ended up making 2 new gods rather then them continueing giving power to khorne (who's only brutal) and tzeentch (who's only cunning)

    - perturabo and the majority of the iron warior legion have been besieging the same fortress in the warp for the last 10K years, khorne liked the iron cage so much that he's tasked the worldbearers to bring rogal dorn in alive and have a revanche with dorn on the defence and perturabo on the offence
    so far perturabo has failed to get into the fortress and khorne has failed to bring dorn to chaos since there's nothing that man wants for himself
    Last edited by a_flemish_guy; 2019-06-01 at 08:18 PM.

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    Spells that heal diseases work by supercharging the immune system, not by attacking the disease dirextly
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    Along those lines, I generally rule that viruses are very very very very very very tiny undead creatures that sap infinitesimal fractions of hit points and ability points with their attacks in a much reduced version of normal undead creatures' Ability Drain and Energy Drain attacks. That explains why disease-related effects like contagion and similar are Necromancy rather than, say, Transmutations that blind you or cover you with boils, and why a Necrotic Cyst is necromantic in nature as opposed to a generic "magical cancer" effect.

    These nano-undead are normally impossible to affect directly due to targeting and line of effect rules, but much like how there are specialized spells that can affect possessing creatures who normally can't be targeted separately from their hosts, cure disease and similar spells can indeed target viruses directly...and on that scale, a cure disease is the positive energy equivalent of a twinned repeated widened intensified energy-admixed meteor swarm.

    Bacteria are similar, but they're either living creatures or deathless rather than undead, so a cure disease basically hits them with Death By Awesome much like shoving a human right into the heart of the Positive Energy Plane would.
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    instead of abruptly stopping at some point the positive and negative energy plains kind of overlap, the resulting energy storms are so violent that no being can survive in these zones


    the gods are tapping into the negative and positive energy planes to give power to their clerics depending on which is closer


    this is why divine spells can be converted directly into positive or negative energy and why good gods get only positive, evil gods get only negative and neutrals can choose between both

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    most wizards are disguised goblins and most sorcerers are kobolds and their ancient rivalry comes from that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by noob View Post
    most wizards are disguised goblins and most sorcerers are kobolds and their ancient rivalry comes from that.
    And Sorcerer Kings are poorly-disguised trolls?
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    And Sorcerer Kings are poorly-disguised trolls?
    Made me laugh harder than it should have.
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    Cocaine wizards ae totally a thing in my games.

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    Tharizdun is the unnamed deity that created Humanity, and he is simply trying to fix things.
    Since the Obyrith infestation of reality cannot be cured or reversed, and will eventually turn it into another Voidharrow, reality will have to be destroyed and returned to the Far Realm, from where a new reality will arise. This must be done before the Obyriths can gather enough power to infest the next reality as well, as they have done cycle after cycle. Tharizdun is not actually crazy, just extremely driven in pursuit of his goal, like many Humans tend to be.
    Last edited by Misereor; 2019-06-19 at 05:18 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misereor View Post
    Tharizdun is the unnamed deity that created Humanity, and he is simply trying to fix things.
    Since the Obyrith infestation of reality cannot be cured or reversed, and will eventually turn it into another Voidharrow, reality will have to be destroyed and returned to the Far Realm, from where a new reality will arise. This must be done before the Obyriths can gather enough power to infest the next reality as well, as they have done cycle after cycle. Tharizdun is not actually crazy, just extremely driven in pursuit of his goal, like many Humans tend to be.
    What's a Voidharrow?
    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Archpaladin Zousha View Post
    What's a Voidharrow?
    Google tells me it is from a novel series called Abyssal Plague, which was released during 4e. Voidharrow is an entity from a dead universe that is unleashed across multiple worlds, including Nerath, Toril and Athas.

    Which means there was a crossover between Nentir Vale, Forgotten Realms and Dark Sun. No need for eldritch horrors, this is absolute madness already.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    And Sorcerer Kings are poorly-disguised trolls?
    Quote Originally Posted by Kane0 View Post
    Made me laugh harder than it should have.
    I now have this mental image of an teenage troll, desperately trying to prove how cool and edgy they are...and it amounts to shouting a bunch of 4th wall breaking meta-gaming details about how they can totally destroy your party, because by "clever" (munchkining) reading (twisting) of the rules, they can do, like, 300d100 damage per action. While wearing a very cheesy costume and what amounts to a cheap rubber mask.

    The party defeats said "Sorcerer King" by flinging hardbound books, metal tablets, dice, etc, at said munchkin troll...
    Last edited by Razgriez; 2019-06-19 at 12:09 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millstone85 View Post
    Google tells me it is from a novel series called Abyssal Plague, which was released during 4e. Voidharrow is an entity from a dead universe that is unleashed across multiple worlds, including Nerath, Toril and Athas.

    Which means there was a crossover between Nentir Vale, Forgotten Realms and Dark Sun. No need for eldritch horrors, this is absolute madness already.
    Bolding mine, for amusing effect.

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    Ad res, the Voidharrow sounds like the Snarl.
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    Basee on item creation feats in 3.5, I feel that gems and precious stones were the first spell storage device in prehistory when dragons ruled, then druids and clerics established methods of storing spells in wooden wands and sticks, which culminated in the biggest ancient cities building sceptres, culminating in the iconic wizard’s staff as the ‘masterwork’ of a wizard’s training, balancing multiple spells elegantly with a single pool of charges.

    Sceptres fell out of fashion beyond some niche collectors because wands take less effort and are portable, and staffs are like the Porsche of magic sticks, and are more desireable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Archpaladin Zousha View Post
    What's a Voidharrow?
    I'm pretty certain it was a tiny Obyrith Shard (modified by Tharizdun to get him out of prison), but I could be wrong.

    Anyway, the original Obyrith Shard was created by the Obyriths so they could migrate to and attune to a new reality, hence permitting them to continue to live on after their old reality was destroyed. The attunement is a procedure that slowly and inevitably changes reality into something resembling the Obyrith's original one. That is what created the Abyss and it's various demonic species, why entire planes will occasionally fall into it, and how the Blood war got started.

    That of course raises the question of what will happen once everything is infected/attuned/assimilated/Abyssalized. I'm thinking that the death of reality will be used to create a new Shard to attune to the next reality that comes along, granting the Obyriths a kind of immortality that gods can only dream of. And if that's the case, then who knows how many times it might already have happened.

    The only way to stop such a cycle would be to destroy reality before the prerequisites for creating a new shard could be met. Who knows what that kind of realization might do to an otherwise kind and benevolent god?
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    With the deity Nobarion in Faerun being Aslan but with the numbers filed off for legal purposes, there may be other immigrants from Narnia before that plane ended. Talking animals, certain magics, Father Christmas, might have made their way to the various Realms and planes at some point. Absolutely stories of the humans from the world of Earth and their adventures on the animal-infested world of Narnia are well known.

    Which means Reepicheep is probably the textbook Paladin that all Paladins aspire to be.
    Last edited by Malphegor; 2019-06-20 at 10:23 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misereor View Post
    Anyway, the original Obyrith Shard was created by the Obyriths so they could migrate to and attune to a new reality, hence permitting them to continue to live on after their old reality was destroyed.
    To be clear, I believe this is strictly Nentir Vale lore.

    In that setting, there never was a Great Wheel, only the World Axis. When Tharizdun found the obyrith shard, he planted it into the Elemental Chaos, creating the Abyss. Later on, Asmodeus journeyed to the heart of the Abyss and took a sliver of the shard, which he used to create the Nine Hells in the Astral Sea.

    Compare and contrast with Forgotten Realms lore. In that setting, the 3e-4e transition included a reorganization of the planes. Notably, Asmodeus decided and found a way to relocate the Abyss into the Elemental Chaos.

    That's why I said a crossover between these settings was crazy. It would essentially involve alternate-reality versions of Asmodeus and other characters.
    Last edited by Millstone85; 2019-06-20 at 02:04 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Millstone85 View Post
    To be clear, I believe this is strictly Nentir Vale lore.

    In that setting, there never was a Great Wheel, only the World Axis. When Tharizdun found the obyrith shard, he planted it into the Elemental Chaos, creating the Abyss. Later on, Asmodeus journeyed to the heart of the Abyss and took a sliver of the shard, which he used to create the Nine Hells in the Astral Sea.

    Compare and contrast with Forgotten Realms lore. In that setting, the 3e-4e transition included a reorganization of the planes. Notably, Asmodeus decided and found a way to relocate the Abyss into the Elemental Chaos.

    That's why I said a crossover between these settings was crazy. It would essentially involve alternate-reality versions of Asmodeus and other characters.
    Like the various Tiamat versions, the color of Drow eyes, or the location of Helms Hold? :)
    D&D has a lot of crapload of inconsistencies, and especially FR. I actually believe that Candlekeep had a rather lengthy thread that was still active a few months back, about the cosmology changes and how little sense they made. Anyway, it's not a biggie for me, as it has minimal impact on the players.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malphegor View Post
    With the deity Nobarion in Faerun being Aslan but with the numbers filed off for legal purposes, there may be other immigrants from Narnia before that plane ended. Talking animals, certain magics, Father Christmas, might have made their way to the various Realms and planes at some point. Absolutely stories of the humans from the world of Earth and their adventures on the animal-infested world of Narnia are well known.

    Which means Reepicheep is probably the textbook Paladin that all Paladins aspire to be.
    Given what Aslan says about himself in the final books, that's making quite a claim. Suffice to say Narnia is representative of a particular belief system, and Aslan, like the central figure in a very popular European belief system, is at the centre of Narnia for a reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Malphegor View Post
    Basee on item creation feats in 3.5, I feel that gems and precious stones were the first spell storage device in prehistory when dragons ruled, then druids and clerics established methods of storing spells in wooden wands and sticks, which culminated in the biggest ancient cities building sceptres, culminating in the iconic wizard’s staff as the ‘masterwork’ of a wizard’s training, balancing multiple spells elegantly with a single pool of charges.

    Sceptres fell out of fashion beyond some niche collectors because wands take less effort and are portable, and staffs are like the Porsche of magic sticks, and are more desireable.
    Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to you newsletter.

    Seriously, I think I may adopt this headcanon as my own.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velaryon View Post
    Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to you newsletter.

    Seriously, I think I may adopt this headcanon as my own.
    Seconded.

    But what about wizards who go BEYOND the staff and tote around magical polearms, like Pathfinder's Runelords?
    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

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    Bahamut is in fact a giant self-conscious fish that is good at illusions.
    An explanation of why MitD being any larger than Huge is implausible.

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    Drow and duergar have the skin tones they do due to cyanosis from the low oxygen levels deep underground
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    Elves behave like over the top stereotypes of west coast americans who flit between different melodramatic causes, questionable fad diets, and bizarre art trends on a bi-weekly basis
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Elves behave like over the top stereotypes of west coast americans who flit between different melodramatic causes, questionable fad diets, and bizarre art trends on a bi-weekly basis
    Spoiler: So, something like this?
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    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Archpaladin Zousha View Post
    Spoiler: So, something like this?
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    Except less bro and more hipster
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