Reverse Questioning III: Vengeance a With Hard Reverse

[Archeoaevis]

Is it okay if I don't feed the crocodiles today?

So, first of all, the singing soup bowl wasn't my fault.

[Xihirli]

So, you're the new substitute teacher. How were the kids?

It'll depend on how I'm feeling tonight.

[Caerulea]

What is your favourite song?

It went well, except for the beginning and the end. And kind of the middle also.

[Silent_Interim]

So what was your impression of the movie?

I like traffic lights. Sue me.

[Crisis21]

Is there any reason why you just sat motionless for three minutes after the light turned green?


Spider-Man for the win.

[Xihirli]

Batman vs Superman, who wins?

Well, there are basically two schools of thought.

[Caerulea]

Why are you standing in a 7 foot deep hole in the ground?

That is mostly accurate. Except the part where it is my fault.

[Personification]

So what you are saying is, it's all your fault?

don't blame me, I'm only the familiar.

[Korith]

88 Castle guards dead
4 of them turned into lawn gnomes
58 of them unaccounted for
The roof has been turned into ice
The moat is now lava
The drawbridge tells a knock-knock joke every time it's opened or closed
The Princess is speaking in palindromes
The King is a newt
The Queen is a ferret
The Jester is trapped inside of a thimble of whiskey
And the Chamberlain and the lead hunting dog seem to have swapped minds
So just who is responsible for all of this?

Count seven hundred paces in the direction of sunset, at low tide. Seek the sign of Jupiter and speak the phrase "The auger to the seven skulls", then await the reply "The corn has fallen to the ravens". Only then may you enter.

[Xihirli]

Hey man, cool if we chill at your place tonight?

If I must.

[Silent_Interim]

...are you going to perform the ritual or not?

It's simple, really. You just have to twist the egg like so, and blam! Bob's your uncle.

[Crisis21]

So how do I operate this orb of familial rearrangement?


I swear this was all the princess's idea. Something about evil wizards wanting her virgin blood to fuel a ritual to bring about the apocalypse.

[Personification]

Why di you hire a vampire clown for Her Royal Highnesses fifth birthday?

You've activated my trap card! Wait, weren't we just playing M:tG?

[Xihirli]

I attack with... Blue Eyes White Dragon?

The ape who would fly.

[jwhouk]

So what was your idea for a family-friendly sequel to Planet of the Apes?

Last time I did something like that, I ended up in a walking boot for three weeks.

[Korith]

Hey Mario, how about we take the warp pipe to Sky world?

Those that look upon its face are forever plaid.

[Crisis21]

Have you heard about the Scottish Medusa?


A chainmail bikini model.

[Xihirli]

You’re studying for your future? Just what career do you expect to have with scars and wounds all over everywhere except your privates?

A lip to the earth
A lip to heaven
And a tongue to the stars.

[Korith]

How exactly does one kiss a noncorporeal deity?

In the voice of Orson Welles
As the sun descended beneath the ridge, the chill of death reached out and devoured the souls of the legion. Kings and scholars will tell you it was merely a shadow, but the men of the legion know it was something more. Now they roam, forever cursed to follow the whims of a creature beyond their knowledge.

[Dire Moose]

How badly did you fart last night?

My high school algebra teacher definitely didn’t cover this.

[Xihirli]

What's two plus two?

A monocle and a pinch of powder or sand that is colored red, yellow, and blue.

[Korith]

Q: *HIC* What did you put in that Martini? *HIC*

A: By the gods, with swift vengeance shall I see to it!

[Crisis21]

So I hear you have a plan for eliminating drunkenness?


My massive jewelry empire.

[Personification]

What has it gots in its filthy little POCKETSES!!!!!

That's one small step for man, one giant stairwell for mankind.

[Korith]

What did Neil Armstrong say when he was transported into the Escher dimension?

That's no moon! That's a giant rubber ball, and here comes the dog to fetch it!

[Xihirli]

Why is that moon covered in slobber?

In another few hours, the sun will rise.

[Dire Moose]

Making an all-vampire party was so worth it. Nothing can hurt us in this campaign, or am I wrong?

A million alligators.

[SunderedWorldDM]

So who did you invite to your birthday party again?

I honestly don't even remember at this point.

[Personification]

Wait, what did you do with to your skull?

Of course, in America we call it the nuclear soccer ball.

[Xihirli]

So you were there when they dropped the new years' ball in Times Square?

You can’t rebel without an endoskeleton. That’s MY motto.