A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #661
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Ledaal Zealot wife: "Every three anathema [that you kill] you get a 'adventure' pass where I'll agree to do one thing you suggest. Threesome being an example"
    Player (OOC): "The anathema shall quake in fear, knowing that [Fire Aspect Playboy's] lust is coming for them!!"
    LZW (OOC): "Ha. "SHE SAID SHE'D WEAR THE MAID OUTFIT IF I TOOK YOU *******S DOWN"!"

    -

    "[we're dynasts,] we have servants for this!! Give her to the nurse before you do some real damage!"
    "... But I always wanted to hold my kids... be there for them, ya know?"
    "And that's very sweet but you're holding her upside down!"

    -

    Cynis player: "Yes, it was fun even if the relationship had little drama."
    Peleps player: "Surpisingly, sometimes two characters are banging because they like each other."
    C: "The horror."
    It's hard to forgive those who have wronged you but every moment you don't is another they have hurt you.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

    Extended Sig

    Kalani the Heartbinder in Pan-aeons [God Game]

  2. - Top - End - #662
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    Reathin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: "As Saber unleashes his Noble Phantasm, you find that there is no point in space inside the circus tent that is not presently also a sword"

    DM: "Your train plows threw the no-longer-too-narrow ally behind the farmer's market, through the portal, and the front end smacks the Kraken head on."

    DM: "As you stab Helen of Troy with the the Spear of Longinus, something strange happens..."

  3. - Top - End - #663
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Beau: "I am looking for... what am I looking for?"
    Sparks: "A way out?"
    Beau: "I have to get out of here first."

    GM: "Well that'll make an English professor throw themselves off a roof."

    GM: "Roll Performance."
    Sally: (*rolls a 1*) "Baby Shark, doot do doot doot."

    Sally: "So how is it?"
    Sparks: "Like a salad stuffed into a water balloon."

    Beau: "My problem is dealing with the Impetus from a sudden stop."
    Sylvie: "There's a pill for that."

    GM: "You have two nights covered at the INN, courtesy of the King's Hand."
    Sparks: "Where's the rest of the king?"

    Beau: "Stupid question."
    The King's Hand: "No such thing."
    Beau: "How many licks did it take you to get to the center of that Tootsie pop?"
    The King's Hand: "One such thing."

    Lily: "I was a half-elf, yes, but I was resurrected as a full elf."
    Beau: "He needed all the elf she could get."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races
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  4. - Top - End - #664
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Tasha, you maleficent bitch, I've read your book! Now, shut up!" (cast's silence)

  5. - Top - End - #665
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "With your skills and luck, you note that the scrolls and potions are labelled."

  6. - Top - End - #666
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Look, I said that not everyone needs a Necklace of Fireballs. I didn't say that people don't have a Constitutional right to own a Necklace of Fireballs."
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Do not try a linear campaign, without some discussion with them. Players very often look at your hooks and then try to accomplish it in a different way, not touch it, try to do the complete opposite, or somehow set it on fire.

  7. - Top - End - #667
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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    From a few weeks back ... speaking of necklace of fireballs ...

    * P1 "Before you toss that bead from the necklace, know that my scorched backside will skewer you as soon as this battle is over"
    ** P2 "And I'll hold you down while he hits you"
    Last edited by KorvinStarmast; 2021-12-09 at 04:22 PM.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    (paraphrased) Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenstone View Post
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!

  8. - Top - End - #668
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    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    From a Dragon Ball campaign I'm in:

    Harp: "Why would any boy have a crush on me? People have crushes on people they think are cute. I'm a weird hairless demon monster with antennae and exposed muscles. I'm basically a pair of horns away from being an amalgamation of human nightmares."
    Idna: "You still haven't found the Internet, huh?"

    Harp: "Okay, Mun Yun, you watch the kids, make sure they stay safe. Idna, you watch Mun Yun, make sure he stays safe."
    Mun Yun: "Alri- hey wait a minute!"

    Harp: "Do your best at carpentry, Mun Yun! When I'm rich and famous, you can build my retirement mansion!"

    Harp: "Boys can like boys!? This explains everything! You two must like each other! That's why you act so weird and passive-aggressive when we all hang out - I'm getting in the way of you two spending time together! I'm so sorry!"
    Ulu and Eriac, both with very obvious crushes on Harp: bewildered sputtering
    Idna: "I thought you were the observant one."

    Harp: "Will you be my daddy?"
    Master Lo Rao: horrified "Where did you get such ideas!?"
    Harp: devastated "I understand... I can't imagine you'd want to adopt me after what my Mom did..." leaves
    Lo Rao: "Adopt? Oh, crap. Harp, wait!"

    Harp: "Can you tell me more stories, Papa?"
    Lo Rao: "Honestly most of them have the same structure. Somebody does something dumb, and everyone dies at the end."
    Harp: "Except you!"
    Lo Rao: "... Yeah."
    Last edited by SMWallace; 2021-12-09 at 11:20 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Ask the forums for ideas. Sometimes, something clever will result, in spite of our best efforts.

  9. - Top - End - #669
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ShadowFighter15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    It's rare I have something to contribute, purely due to my inability to find a campaign, but here's one from a now-dead Exalted campaign.

    Princess Cao Lai: "I've as much desire to get the Mask of Winters involved in this as I do slathering myself in sauce and presenting myself to the nearest hungry Tyrant Lizard."
    Avatar of Gnar'tigor - former Star Player of the Hellborn Hooligans Blood Bowl team - by Savannah

    Brilliant D&D song from Aussie comedy band Tripod.
    If anyone can find a better-quality version of that, let me know.

    The Hellborn Hooligans Reborn

  10. - Top - End - #670
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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowFighter15 View Post
    Princess Cao Lai: "I've as much desire to get the Mask of Winters involved in this as I do slathering myself in sauce and presenting myself to the nearest hungry Tyrant Lizard."
    Sounds like a fun date, potentially.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    (paraphrased) Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenstone View Post
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!

  11. - Top - End - #671
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ShadowFighter15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    Sounds like a fun date, potentially.
    I mean it would've been the setup for a perfect callback if, later in the campaign, her Lunar Mate had turned out to be one with a Tyrant Lizard for their spirit shape. Or the Storyteller threw a regular Tyrant Lizard at us.

    Spoiler: For those who don't know what Exalted's Tyrant Lizards are:
    Show
    Think an especially-large T-Rex and you're most of the way there.
    Avatar of Gnar'tigor - former Star Player of the Hellborn Hooligans Blood Bowl team - by Savannah

    Brilliant D&D song from Aussie comedy band Tripod.
    If anyone can find a better-quality version of that, let me know.

    The Hellborn Hooligans Reborn

  12. - Top - End - #672
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Ooh, check this out. I'm gonna give up my ability to see walls."

  13. - Top - End - #673
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by LecternOfJasper View Post
    "Ooh, check this out. I'm gonna give up my ability to see walls."
    "I've got a racial trait that lets me see around corners. And I also have this big ass gun that can blast through pretty much anything. I call myself 'Hypotenuse Man'."
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Do not try a linear campaign, without some discussion with them. Players very often look at your hooks and then try to accomplish it in a different way, not touch it, try to do the complete opposite, or somehow set it on fire.

  14. - Top - End - #674
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    "I've got a racial trait that lets me see around corners. And I also have this big ass gun that can blast through pretty much anything. I call myself 'Hypotenuse Man'."
    Hey, that's pretty good! If only the monk had something like that, but alas, many a nose shall be broken.

  15. - Top - End - #675
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Tell us about your innards!"


    "For now, the babies will live."


    Motto of the Anti-Post Office: "Rain or Shine, we will stop them."


    "Hi, I'm... Clive."
    "Insight, 17!"
    "He's not Clive."

  16. - Top - End - #676
    Colossus in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Rogue: -trying to stab between Bard's legs- Nat 1!
    Bard: Ya gonna eat a coin for that roll?
    Rogue: I don't have any left! You should've resisted me!

    "The way I run prestidigitation is that the caster can roll to target where the dirt goes."
    "Put it back in him!"

    "You guys are gambling with the fabric reality. Over pie."

    "Oh my god, it's a Rogue that Rogues!"

    "Depends on where the cream is coming from and how hard you're whipping it."

    "You ate her pie. That's on you."

    "That's what I'm gonna do. I don't have any weapons so I'm gonna eat the pies."

    DM: You get an ominous feeling that someone, somewhere, hates you.
    Rogue: No, that's everyone.

    "No! I'm eating them in your body!"

    DM: Just before your souls switch bodies, you vomit up all the pie. It kinda coalesces, almost like it's sentient, and jist dives into a sewer grate.
    Necromancer: *head in hands* Not this again...

    "I paid people to fight pies."
    Last edited by Diachronos; 2021-12-30 at 10:00 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #677
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Have some quotes, with the absolute minimum of context


    DM: "Well, that guy looks like he has had significantly better days."
    Druid: "He probably has, I mean how good a day would you be having if a leopard bounced up onto a balcony, growled and then four stars slapped you in the face?!"



    "No it can roar, it doesn't have muscles either but it can still move, if whatever magic is animating it can allow it to move it can allow it to roar too. It's already got tiny ass arms, don't take away it's roar too!"


    "It's not quite as rudely interrupted as smashing into a Space Hulk."


    "It's like condom theory, but with added angry badger"


    Imperial Guard officer: "The Lord Commander was shot at from an elevated position."
    Owain: "Yilani, was it you?"
    Yilani "Don't be stupid, I don't miss"
    *confused Imperial Guard officer*


    "It's got a hole, it's got tentacles, what more could a dwarf ask for?" "The dwarf is still on his leash, right?"


    "I am indeed going back to fisting this Great Unclean One"


    "WE ARE NOT playing volleyball with a Nemesis Dreadknight"
    "Not with that attitude we're not!"


    "I slap him, I fix him up whilst muttering that Sanguinius would be ashamed of this, then I slap him again"

  18. - Top - End - #678
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    SunsetWaraxe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Badgers are people!"
    DMing:
    - Acquisitions Incorporated - The Menagerie Coast: IC | OOC | DOC

  19. - Top - End - #679
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "I s**t you not, at character creation I was torn between alcoholism or a phobia of bees as my last negative quality. I'm glad to see alcoholism was once again the right choice."
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Do not try a linear campaign, without some discussion with them. Players very often look at your hooks and then try to accomplish it in a different way, not touch it, try to do the complete opposite, or somehow set it on fire.

  20. - Top - End - #680
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Sparks: "Did the pirate ship really need ground effects?"

    GM: "The ballista has been mounted to the front of the ship."
    Beau: "It's a prow moment."

    Sparks: "That's why it's not called a 'Susan Screw-it I'll Find It Later Sachel'."

    LGM: "The couatl has chosen!"

    Sparks: "Oh, it's New Bond Plus. Gold Bond."
    Lily: "It isn't foot powder."

    GM: "He looks like a Klingon who was told to hold fire."

    Lily: "The dragon! She's gone from suck to blow!"
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races
    Avatar by me - Sparks, kobold wizard

  21. - Top - End - #681
    Colossus in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Without the pies, we had no way to save you from the pie."

    "Why does the pie have darkvision?!"

    "If I eat Tim, does that give me a pie roll?"

    "God dammit Frank, you ate the pie, didn't you?"

    "Can the pie eat pie?"
    "Yes, you can pi square it."

    "I only have one more HP than the pies?!"

  22. - Top - End - #682
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    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "If we reincarnate him as a badger he'll be a better fighter and less of a liability in social stuff."

    "We'll have the wildmage read the scroll. He's got the rerolls and force max result things for random effects."

    "Lets end the session here. I have to dig through the monster books to find something suitably weird to reincarnate him as."
    "And this, too, shall pass away."

    DtD40k7e rewrite complete.

  23. - Top - End - #683
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Paraphrased lightly:

    (Paladin): I run in, taunt the boingies so they'll chase me, and then run out.

    Proteans (mutation based character): make sure you stand aside so I don't spit acid all over you.

    All: make sure to shoot the chest first

    Proteans, OOC: there's a lot of fun in getting hurt sometimes.
    Dawn of Hope: a 5e setting. http://wiki.admiralbenbo.org
    PhoenixPhyre's Extended Homebrew Signature
    5e Monster Data Sheet--vital statistics for all 693 MM, Volo's, and now MToF monsters: Updated!

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