A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #631
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Amidus Drexel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Douglas: "Tell him that Douglas has sent you! ...as long as you've killed him."

    "Your mother was a microwave and your father smelled of cheap burritos."
    "God bless you, taquito-san."

    "Hand over the head and nobody dies!"

    Hag: "Tit for tat, I suppose."
    Paladin: "I'm not looking for either!"

    "Is this gonna hurt?"
    "It'll tingle, yeah."

    "These corpses were desecrated when we got here."

    "Seems like you're having a mid-ladder crisis."

    "it's made of... laddermantium."

    "I am the axe-pert."

    "Let's get the **** up this elevator and go down that ladder."

    "Oh my god, you can't just ask why someone is undead."

    "Crack skulls and take ears, that's our motto."

    "We come bearing gifts - how about a nice game of cornhole?"

    "I'm an elf, all we do is humble-brag"

    "it's a free action to high-five in this campaign"
    Avatar by FinnLassie
    A few odds and ends.

  2. - Top - End - #632
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Lonji: The world works in mysterious ways to make things more convenient for me.


    Lonji: I keep forgetting I cant speak underwater


    Horell: I made a goo-team.
    GM: Yes, they are all as slimy as dragons.


    Lonji: I hit myself, I parry myself, I riposte myself.


    Lonji: I have a scroll of explosive runes. Look at it!


    Tenka: on the other hand, you probably SHOULD boobytrap graveyards. Because you don't want dead people walking out of them.


    Lonji: so, the water is having a moral crisis?


    Alum: Don't do it until I can figure out if it will kill you. Death is annoying.


    Lonji: did you fart? it looked like you were concentrating really really hard and then there was a fart.


    GM: A portal opens behind you... *Rolls* ...and the immediately closes.
    Lonji: Did he summon invisible monsters?
    Alum: Either that or it was a parallel universe farting.


    Sasani: so... you're aiming for a career as an aquarium-decoration?


    Horell: well... ok... I suddenly regret all of my actions.


    Lonji OOC: Thats why yogsototh hasnīt been able to swallow the world. The planet is desperately grappling everything on it. Thats what gravity is.


    Lonji: yes. stab him for safety. safetystab.


    Lonji: it's not much but it might keep you alive, I'm not asking for miracles, except I am using cleric spells. So, I literally am.


    NPC: it's not easy watching your friends die.
    Alum: no, it's not. I HAVE TO FIX THAT.
    NPC: I remember when I died.
    Alum: So do I.


    SWORD: Get me closer. I want to cut them with my me.


    Scar OOC: Scar is an excellent ventrilll... ventro... Scar speak good.


    Scar: Horell is basically an expert at dying. Death is basically just standing and watching with a clip-card.
    Horell: only 2 more times and I get a free coffee.


    Lonji: I think I take more from her side.
    Alum: look. Hats are not an inherited trait.


    Scar: I'm just gona say this once. Clinch. Clinch hard.

  3. - Top - End - #633
    Titan in the Playground
     
    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Paladin, as he swings his sword; "Guys, didn't anyone but me save?"

    Spoiler: What prompted the question
    Show
    Six berserkers form the Horn of Valhalla and the entire rest of the party had all missed their DC 14 Wis save versus the Eidolon
    Avatar by linklele
    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    (paraphrased) Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenstone View Post
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct
    Quote Originally Posted by HappyDaze
    Self-deception tends to have a low target number
    How Teleport Works

  4. - Top - End - #634
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quotes of the night:

    DM: have you ever seen a turtle vomit? Now you have...rolls an attack roll... Right in Zeke's face.

    DM: dragon bureaucracy is a force to be reckoned with.
    Dawn of Hope: a 5e setting. http://wiki.admiralbenbo.org
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    5e Monster Data Sheet--vital statistics for all 693 MM, Volo's, and now MToF monsters: Updated!

  5. - Top - End - #635
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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    A few quotes:

    "You may not know me, that's why I carry Dragon Express"

    Bard: "I am all about shameless self promotion. Shameless Self Promotions is the name of my LLC"

    Bladelock: "Ritual master Jes Sun has it all well in hand. Ten houses? Wait, Ninjas!"

    Bard to DM: "Did you say the Eldest's lair, or the Elvis Layer?"

    "It's totally Safe ... OSHA would of course approve"

    In the days that come there will be a deliverance by fire and blood - dwarvish prophesy
    Sorcerer: "Cher is our friend"

    Circle with 9 arrows facing out, tattoo on cultist

    Zeke: "Prismatic Spray?" {voice rising?}
    Paladin: "Zeke, please get out of the way!"
    Bladelock: "If she's gonna cast Prismatic Spray, I'll go and get some food. This may take a while"
    Avatar by linklele
    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    (paraphrased) Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenstone View Post
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct
    Quote Originally Posted by HappyDaze
    Self-deception tends to have a low target number
    How Teleport Works

  6. - Top - End - #636
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "The moose has started a concert."
    elephants are made of carbon




    and so are you

  7. - Top - End - #637
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Player: "[describing how he seduces a noblewoman for a minute and a half]"
    DM (interrupts): "Look, you get a +8, just shut up already..."
    It's hard to forgive those who have wronged you but every moment you don't is another they have hurt you.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

    Extended Sig

    Kalani the Heartbinder in Pan-aeons [God Game]

  8. - Top - End - #638
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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: This zombie looks like it is very dead
    Avatar by linklele
    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    (paraphrased) Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenstone View Post
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct
    Quote Originally Posted by HappyDaze
    Self-deception tends to have a low target number
    How Teleport Works

  9. - Top - End - #639
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    WindStruck's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "HkgIufm! ArGhargh! KiNg!"
    Avatar: Astra Glitterwing in A Faerie Affair

  10. - Top - End - #640
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Beau: "Remind me of what plot items we found in that cave?"
    GM: "Two ledgers. One was the sales of stolen goods, and the other-"
    Sylvie: "Was Heath."

    Sylvie: "This is Denise."
    Beau: "And the boy?"
    Sylvia: "Denephew."

    Sparks: "Hey, look at this new spell I learned!"
    Sparks: *dives off the balcony, slams into the table below, flipping the table and launching the mugs of ale through the glass window, showering ale at a passing horse who gets spooked and runs, smashing over a produce cart*
    Farmer: "My cabbages!"
    Sylvie: "You do know that this part of town is under an anti-magic ward, right?"
    Sparks: "I. Am. Now. Aware."

    Sylvie: "It turns out there's a twist in our quest."
    City guard: "A twist? Who staged this, Shyamalan?"
    Sylvie: "It was a good twist."
    Sparks: "So no."

    Duchess: "Does this Displacer Beast cloak make my butt look displaced?"

    Sparks: "He has a B.A. in Battle Administration."

    Donkey: "And in the morning, I'm making waffles."

    Hobgoblin: "That's my Geas and I'm sticking to it."

    GM: "Night falls, take 1d4 damage."
    Beau: (*uses online roller*) "Wait, a 27?!"

    Lily: *Sets up a booth at the edge of town*
    • Cure light wounds: $25
    • Cure light herpes: $250
    • Cure light harpies: $2500


    Sparks: "I've never been in a ship before."
    Slyvie: "The fandom will fix that, don't worry."

    Sparks: "Just looking at the boat bobbing in the water makes me feel ill."
    Sylvie: "Then you're going to LOVE the next 5 weeks."
    Sparks: "I'm going to ask the sailors around in the tavern for advice on surviving this voyage."
    GM: "The sailors tell you various (and sometimes conflicting) tales, tips, and rumors on sea survival. Most of it is so superstitious that it's like taking a -2 penalty to your check."

    Sparks: "Everything is bad luck! Women on ships is bad luck, knowing how to swim is bad luck, 17 out of 18 cloud types are bad luck..."
    Lily: "You may want to find some remedies for seasickness."
    Sparks: "Like don't be on a ship?"
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2021-09-19 at 06:07 PM.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  11. - Top - End - #641
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "It's quiet... Too quiet."
    "Bunny slipper attack! Rawr!"
    "Aieeeeee!"
    "And this, too, shall pass away."

    DtD40k7e rewrite complete.

  12. - Top - End - #642
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    GM (Troll): "Salutations, adventurous persons. If you are of an inclination to traverse this structure, you must disburse payment to my own self."

    Fighter: What now?

    GM: Trolls speak Giant. They only use big words.

  13. - Top - End - #643
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    I return after a few days just to find I'm being used as a Goodyear blimp.

  14. - Top - End - #644
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    >First round
    DM: "Okay, Bloodrager, your turn."
    Bloodrager: "I crit... and do 102 damage!"
    DM: "I'm going to take a screenshot of this... just so you understand why I'm so friggen pissed right now"
    >Boss had 102HP
    It's hard to forgive those who have wronged you but every moment you don't is another they have hurt you.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

    Extended Sig

    Kalani the Heartbinder in Pan-aeons [God Game]

  15. - Top - End - #645
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)



    I will leave this here.
    elephants are made of carbon




    and so are you

  16. - Top - End - #646
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by DwarfFighter View Post
    GM: Trolls speak Giant. They only use big words.
    I laughed a bit too loudly here.


    Sylvie (*draws her sword*): "I didn't get a harrumph out of you."
    The Party: *surrounds the sus senator, draws weapons*

    Lily: "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the church of law. If you do not have a deity to defend you, one will be assigned to you by the state-sanctioned pantheon."

    GM: "You find a finger, encased in crystal. And no, not the Dark Crystal."
    The Party (Skeksis voices) "MMmmmMMmmm!!"

    GM: "I'm trying to think of the word... it's when you compare two people-"
    Sparks: "A comparison?"

    Sylvie: *throws Sparks into a large trunk*
    Sparks: "Ack! Airholes!"
    Sylvie: *draws sword and stabs the trunk*

    Lily: "You're within earsight."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  17. - Top - End - #647
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    P1: "Don't you have to say it in rhyme?"
    DM: "I'm not a gnome right now, go **** yourself."
    It's hard to forgive those who have wronged you but every moment you don't is another they have hurt you.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

    Extended Sig

    Kalani the Heartbinder in Pan-aeons [God Game]

  18. - Top - End - #648
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    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "We need a crew name. Every good pirate crew has a fearsome name."

    "How about Amber Alert?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Forum Explorer View Post
    "Just because the DM lets you break the game, doesn't mean the game is broken."
    Quote Originally Posted by Steampunkette View Post
    "My Patron is Steven Spielberg"
    Quote Originally Posted by CNagy View Post
    For some reason this feels really fitting; I got a mental image of a bunch of psions setting up a LAN party.

  19. - Top - End - #649
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ralanr View Post
    "How about Amber Alert?"
    Oh, that's not the direction you want to go. XD


    Lily: "It was an island in the Caribbean, but I forgot the name."
    Sylvie: "Well let's throw out some names; Haiti? Cuba?"
    Sparks: "Key Largo, Montego, oh I want to take you, to Bermuda, Bahamas, come on pretty mama..."

    Sparks: *mimes using a spyglass*
    GM: "Do you have a spyglass?"
    Sparks: "No, I'm just standing on the bow doing this." *mimes using a spyglass*

    First Officer: "Dive! dive! All dive!"
    Beau: "This is not that kind of ship!"

    Sparks: "Ground! solid ground!" (*kiss*) "Blech! Ptooie! Sand! Awful beach sand!"

    Beau: "Move my miniature up 20 feet."
    Sparks: "5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 Stop!"
    GM: "??"
    Sparks: "Apples peaches pumpkin pie, if you're not ready, holler aye!"

    Sally: "Sing sing sing to give a Sneak bonus!"

    Sparks: "I step to the side because I'm cowardly brave."

    GM: "You find inside that barrel are jars of honey."
    Sparks: "Honey! Do do doot do doot do-"
    The Party: "Aw sugar, sugar! Do do doot do doot do!"

    Beau: "What's in this box?"
    GM: "You find salted and dried meat, but it looks and smells unusual. Make a Knowledge Nature check."
    Beau: *rolls a 17*
    GM: "This jerky is dried Merfolk."
    Beau: "Ewww..."
    Sparks: "Ah, the other white meat."

    Sparks: "I cast Resistance."
    Beau: "OHMmmm..."

    Beau: "I cast Eldritch Blast at the chest lock."
    GM: "Your blast gets within inches on the lock and... stops. It stays held here."
    Sylvie: "Kylo Ren is in there."
    GM: "The spell is absorbed, and you think the chest got just a tiny bit bigger."
    Sylvie: "Kylo Ren's ego is in there."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2021-10-17 at 11:55 AM.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  20. - Top - End - #650
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Don't woo-wey, Senko-tan. Menko onee-sama will pwotec you until you're big again."

    "...You know that this is only skin deep, right? This goes away the second I reabsorb that blob of flesh."

    "Please let me have this."
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here

    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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