Results 361 to 390 of 1022
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2020-04-20, 03:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- Durham
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
From an Exalted game.
Rose; So it is time we do politics.
Onyx; So you mean kidnapping right?
Onyx; I do not think you understand I'm a god.
Rose; You are an exalted not a god.
Onyx; I hear the prayers of people and can grant minor miracles with my will alone if that isn't a god then what am i missing the animal sacrifices?
Rose; Yup you are crazy your body has gone insane and your soul is fighting it.
Crazy Chimera Lunar; Oh well that explains the murder
Onyx; *WHIPS A BOTTLE AT HIS HEAD!*, AND THAT IS FOR RUNNING!
Gm; I don't know who won tonight when it comes to accomplishments.
Quinn; I played an Organ and had my Torment lowered
Cricket; I was a nerd with a mage
Ruby; I got some necromancer spells
-Everyone Stares at Onyx-
Onyx; I only slept with 1 Dragon King.
Gm; In the morning when you go to leave the Dragon King gives you a kiss she is very impressed.
Onyx; I de-materialize like a god and repeat what she said back to me in old realm.
Gm; Ok 1 she is blushing realizing you understood that, and 2 you just mind freaked a Dragon King because she thought you were not a god since her power lets her detect gods.
Ruby; Did you just spend 12 Essence to mind freak a one-night stand?
Onyx; Worth it
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2020-04-20, 03:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Germany
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Played today on Roll20, of course.
"We have to make sure nobody comes to the inn and starts looking where everyone has gone."
"Maybe we can put up a sign that says the inn is closed?"
"Perhaps we can get the mayor to say that so they believe it."
"Or there is a disease and everyone has to stay at home."
Evil priest plans to cast command on initiative count 4 to make the PCs cower on the floor for one round and buy himself more time.
Fighter on initiative count 5 wants to order him to surrender. "Stop fighting and get down on the floor!"
Priest: "No U!"
Fighter fails Wisdom save.Last edited by Yora; 2020-04-20 at 03:28 PM.
We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.
Spriggan's Den Heroic Fantasy Roleplaying
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2020-04-20, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
bernie: wait, those were psykers? i thought they were vegans!
v5.32: what does the diagnostor say?
grigori: salty.
dm: in the grim darkness of the far future, there is no spoon.
wynnifred: i out-kinked a drukhari.
langlois: incoming pineapple! *boom*
dm: oooh, no lube, no less!
bernie: man, are drukhari kinky or what?
melman: you're a pariah, bernie.
bernie: *cries in potterhead*
bernie: limiter off...
wynnif: *flinches*
bernie: limiter on...
wynnif: *sighs contentedly*
bernie: limiter off...
wynnif: *flinches*
bernie: i'm gonna have fun.
grigori: look, i always thought you were an idiot, bernie, but now i realize you're just handicapped! it's better, i think?
langlois: welp, no more dark eldar. drinks on the boss!
inquisitor melman: wait, what?
v5.32: i hook myself up to a lascannon battery and work sleeplessly for a week.
grigori: is that the equivalent of a caffeine i.v. for toasters?
grigori: v! quit hitting on the toaster! i want breakfast!
v5.32: she loves me more, meatbag!
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2020-04-22, 07:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Nesdu: The fact you refer to expelling stream of plasma as vomiting instead of breathing implies some very horrific things about your digestive system.
Gene: Trust me, you don't know the half of it.Avatar by TinyMushroom.
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2020-04-22, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"That is what I would be trying to do if the Clans were not such bastards about hoarding knowledge... No offense intended, but seriously, everyone knows that designer genes are a better fit."
"I also hate shoes. They are uncomfortable and make it so that I can not feel the ground beneath my feet. Did you know that the synthetic caps at the end of the laces of civilian shoes are called aglets? Their true purpose is most sinister."I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-04-23, 09:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- 61.2° N, 149.9° W
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Drunk knitting grandmothers playing mmos. Just what I needed."
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2020-04-27, 03:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2017
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Cleric: I miss having minions we can boss around.
Alchemist: Right now, we are the minions being bossed around.
Cleric: But having two different types of rope is important! The hemp one is for people that don't want to be tied up, and the silk one is for the people that do.Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays
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2020-04-28, 01:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Well there goes that theory… It was the sheep all along!
Can I use hordebreaker on the cube since it fills the hallway?
No, it’s alone.
No cube is a horde unto itself!
The greatest challenge of my life, facing the fallen High Abbot of the Brotherhood, and I fall into a pit!
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2020-04-28, 08:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2020
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Bard: “Nevermet... a town I didn’t like.”
Ranger: “My wolf companion needs healing.”
Cleric: “That’s ridiculous! Is he going to convert?!”
Supers Mage: “I crit on my Dispel Illusion spell.”
Super Soldier: “OH MY GOD! Capitalism is a lie! We’re just exploiting our weak! It’s just making more and more money!”
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2020-04-28, 06:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"And I'm not a child. I'm fourteen. I've snuck into a night club and made out with a drunk teenager who snuck in with a fake ID so I could steal her wallet and buy a sandwich. You gonna call me a kid after that?"
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-05-01, 07:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
lucii in a high pitched voice: who cares about genitals when there's profit to be made?
dm: yeah, i'm losing xp for that pun.
malax: what.
dm: the power armor is coded in lolcat.
louka: i can't spell ok?!
lucii: sweet, they didn't forget about my 2a.m. strawberries!
louka: did i accidentally solve a plot hole in the future?
militia: minus one xp for the dm.
lucii: so we climb aboard the s.s. barbie...
louka: that's heavy.
militia: *rolls* yup.
malax: what's this?
npc: dirt.
malax: i eat it. it tastes good.
malax: the hell is this?
npc: a tree. it's not food. it grows food.
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2020-05-01, 08:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2020-05-02, 12:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
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2020-05-02, 02:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Location
- Inner Palace, Holy Terra
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
D&D 5e:
AEthelwyn: Strain gauges haven't been invented yet, right?
AEthelwyn: I would like to buy a fireproof table frame with rails on top of it, high strength scales, ...
GM: Just tell me what you're planning
AEthelwyn: Flame test stand and instrumentation.
AEthelwyn: You said your tests usually end in conflagration. Is this because it can't be steered and crashes, it catches the pilots pants on fire, or fire comes out of somewhere it's not supposed to?
Gnomish Inventor: Yes.Guardsmen, hear me! Cadia may lie in ruin, but her proud people do not! For each brother and sister who gave their lives to Him as martyrs, we will reap a vengeance fiftyfold! Cadia may be no more, but will never be forgotten; our foes shall tremble in fear at the name, for their doom shall come from the barrels of Cadian guns, fired by Cadian hands! Forward, for vengeance and retribution, in His name and the names of our fallen comrades!
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2020-05-03, 09:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"For example, instead of getting angry, imagine a harem of strapping lads and comely lasses praising and worshiping your perfect, godlike body."
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-05-04, 09:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Oh Lord my game had so many I can barely remember all of them, here are some I do:
DM(me): ... Habren you now have permanent cold resistance, and Lucrio you lose another 3 inches of your height.
Lucrio: BRO! Bois, he doesn't know what he's done! I'm 11 inches tall now!
DM(me): I may have miss calculated
Reddel: Your 11 FREAKING inches tall, how is your penis a foot long?
Lucrio: my body is hollow and it retracts.
Habren: where the heck are your organs?
Habren: did you just steal my one on one kill of a Phoenix with a single effing magic missile???
*Group walking up on the MASSIVE body of a dead terrasque*
Lucrio: what the HELL happened here?
Skye: once again it appears I an to perfect to die.
Skye*shifter speaking deep German accent*: once when I was younger I tried to slit my own wrist, but the knife, she broke on my skin. I tried to throw myself off a cliff but I floated safely to the ground. I ate sand once in desperation and trapped out glass. Finally, I tried to drown myself in the waves of the ocean, but my feet would not sink beneath the waves. It was then I realized I was to perfect to die.
DM(me): mind explaining how you have 39 AC?????
Skye: it was an accident
Matrix: imma light my weed bush familiar on fire and have him get the little @$!#$@ high as @$!#!!.
Lucrio: and then we stab them
Lucrio whilst chucking 6 javelin of lightning at a kraken: I'm the god of lightning @$!#$@! ZEUS! ZEUS! ZEUS! ZEUS!
Lucrio: I'm gonna need a pig, a head band of intellect, and as many glyphs of warding as we can cast.
DM: congratulations you short jerk, you just one shotted a god.
Tassel: he is a God
Habren: what if they confiscate our weapons?
Reddel: I've got the best weapon right here! *pulls Lucrio out of coat*
Lucrio: Surprise $!#:×+@!!!
Entire group: hash tag, just cult things
Reddel: evening officer*tips imaginary hat*
Lucrio: if you even think of buying the deck of many things I'll cut your balls off.
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2020-05-04, 10:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
And from my MNM game:
Gaea: I turn into sonic and use my shot gun to double tap them by blowing their heads of. JUSTICE!
Mark ooc: I need to draw this
Gaea ooc: there's lots of blood
Gaea: don't you see? We can't die, we're gods!
Entire group: backs away slowly.
GM(me): Ok Mobile Base Jim just dropped a massive military base in the middle of a new York City street, and the hero's are calling you bad guys.
Specter: the rat is clearly the leader!
GM(me): no he's just psychic I swear
Me: this time don't make an insane one though ok?
Gaea's player making new character: I promise to try.
Specter: oh no we still have the bomb
GM(me): Your going to attack?
Spiderhobo: yes
GM(me) OK, you see the hobos shirt burst open as four more arms come out, revealing not the pot belly you expected but toned bad.
Spiderhobo: and I'm holding 6 glocks.
Mark: wait, your lugers shoot 50 cal rifle shells, aren't those like, 8 inches long?
Spiderhobo: yes, and now you need to draw these lugers.
Mark: darn it! They re putting all 200 of my demons in trash bags!
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2020-05-04, 01:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Germany
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
My party got its first magic item today after defeating the first major antagonist. Immediately assumed it was cursed, would make them enemies if they are seen having it, and could be magically tracked by other enemies looking for revenge.
This group is different.We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.
Spriggan's Den Heroic Fantasy Roleplaying
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2020-05-05, 05:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- Land of Ice and Snow
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Aim for their heads! They're powerless without their heads!"
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you judge them, you're a mile away and you've got their shoes.
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2020-05-05, 11:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Alright. Big ridiculous and is probably making a blacksmith cry somewhere. Perfect anime blade, wouldn't have it any other way."
"hold on 'Flora, I'm about to cast Screw Gravity."
"Here necro necro necro, where are you, you little immortal piece of trash?"
"So are you guys going to do things, or are your puppet strings just cut? Like, where are you now on a scale from "yay we're free from that tyrant!" to "you murdered our glorious leader!" are you? Just quickly making sure before I kick all your pelvises and kill the other two. You want out, now is your chance to say so."
"So....clan drama in general, with added "we were better in the paaaaast!" whining?"
"If you want to reduce complex social issues as a result of generations of cultural conditioning and strange circumstances ramming up against each other in the most stupid and insulting manner possible, yes."
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2020-05-08, 03:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
v5.32: so, basically, bernie's a really bad case of meningitis.
(no, i didn't forget words)
grigori: psykers are grenades to the bait and tackle.
langlois: your sanction is prison, prison, death, death, death again, death then prison, flaying, transformation into a servitor, more prison and death, and a fine.
wynnifred: i totally pulled a brigbal. I OUT-BRIGBAL'D BRIGBAL!!
bernie: you need to go in there proud, sure of yourself, and completely butt-naked.
wynnif: aw great, i'm gonna dominate a horny xenos and you guys are gonna check me out doing it.
v5.32: i'm so gonna check her out.
grigori: great, a pervy cyborg nerd girl.
bernie: don't f*ck with xenos is so taking on a new meaning right now.
v5.32: even drukhari-bernie is disappointing.
wynnif: i need caramel as mouthwash! *swallows a donut whole*
bernie: langlois' the law, and it seems above gravity itself.
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2020-05-08, 04:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Location
- Inner Palace, Holy Terra
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
AEthelwyn: Ah Emma, there you are. We were just talking about you!
Emma: About what...
AEthelwyn: So, you consider yourself perceptive, right?
Emma: Yes...
AEthelwyn: You're basically the most perceptive member of the crew, right? Well, after Sakhur, but he needs to steer the ship, so most perceptive non-critical member.
Emma: I don't like where this is going. What are you planning?
AEthelwyn: So, I was able to get a look at the island through the cloud bank with my binoculars, but only briefly. I was thinking we could strap you into a hardness and lower your down to beneath the storm to...
Emma: NOPE!
AEthelwyn: Does anyone think this is a good idea?
GM: AEthelwyn seems to ask that a lot, right before she makes everything worse: "Does anyone think this is a good idea? 'Cause I do."Guardsmen, hear me! Cadia may lie in ruin, but her proud people do not! For each brother and sister who gave their lives to Him as martyrs, we will reap a vengeance fiftyfold! Cadia may be no more, but will never be forgotten; our foes shall tremble in fear at the name, for their doom shall come from the barrels of Cadian guns, fired by Cadian hands! Forward, for vengeance and retribution, in His name and the names of our fallen comrades!
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2020-05-10, 06:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
GM: "Your jaw is a hunger that only face can feed."
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2020-05-11, 07:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Ahh! Giant food with a stabby-thingy!"
Two of them are making out with each other for some reason. It's kind of offputting.I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-05-11, 07:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- The Primus Imperium
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
A giant squid monster in armor forged from the souls of the dead just popped out a pair of plasma cannons and blasted us like it was a blastoise using Hydro Pump.
Our ST: Exalted! A grim and gritty, bronze age Conan-like game!Hate me if you want. But that's your issue to fix, not mine.
Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo.
When Gods Go To War comes out March 8th
Discord: HalfTangible
Extended Sig
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2020-05-11, 10:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
This post is possibly the most accurate summary of Exalted I've ever read.
"and your asking a saiyan to stand still while a fight would be in front of them! Thats like dangling a piece of juicy meat in front of a tiger while there is a chain wrapped around their neck! It'd be torture! But yeah also the protection thing."
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2020-05-17, 12:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Doc: "Yeah well, hopefully when Dr. Fusion figures out this fake test result, he doesn't punch me in the face. It's my favorite face that I own. Also, the only face I own."
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2020-05-17, 09:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Narrative matters as much as physics, so don't bother measuring distance or think running faster helps. Just fake a few character arcs. And if we pick up any tag-alongs, make sure to detour by the Caves Of Tragic Heroic Sacrifice instead of the Cliffs Of Lethal Betrayal. And, whatever you do, don't eat anything at The Cottage That Feels More Like Home Than Yours Ever Did. I'm pretty sure we'll meet who we're looking for at The Hut Of The Ancient Mystic Dispensing Conveniently Relevant Wisdom"
Avatar by TinyMushroom.
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2020-05-17, 02:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Location
- Inner Palace, Holy Terra
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Guardsmen, hear me! Cadia may lie in ruin, but her proud people do not! For each brother and sister who gave their lives to Him as martyrs, we will reap a vengeance fiftyfold! Cadia may be no more, but will never be forgotten; our foes shall tremble in fear at the name, for their doom shall come from the barrels of Cadian guns, fired by Cadian hands! Forward, for vengeance and retribution, in His name and the names of our fallen comrades!
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2020-05-17, 11:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Location
- ...
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Sounds like navigating the Wyld.