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  1. - Top - End - #481
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DeTess's Avatar

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    May 2017
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "This is our territory! Except when the giant worm is here, then it's his territory."

    "Wait.... I've got a white dragon bloodline, so I get cold resistance! That means I'm at 15 hp instead of -8!"
    Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays

  2. - Top - End - #482
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Lonji: maybe the river was pissed because it was pissed in?

    Horell: Did we get kaminapped?
    Scar: we went of our own free will, so more like kamibambozeled.
    Sasani: Kamicond

    Horell: THE HAPPY GRASS IS SINGING TO ME!

    Horell: Don’t encourage the grass.
    Lonji: if the grass has musical inclinations it is in our best interest to encourage it.

    Loni: I have my own musical accompaniment. This is all I’ve ever wanted.

    Sasani: I’ve seen weirder things this week. I saw a table backstab a ninja.

    GM: How proficient are you with "Lonji on a string"?

    GM: the GM does not know enough about physics for this.

    Lonji: Mend me like one of your French wagons.

    Alum: I summon a pillar of light, It’s basically a healing shower
    Scar: All I heard was golden shower

    Horell: the only way to get rid of spirits is to help them with what they want. The problem is that the
    Spirit wants to kill us... so not really any good options here.

    Horell: Why did you want to eat the murder mushrooms?!
    Scar: Because I’m stupid that’s why

    GM: They look like edible berries once you smell them and shove them up...
    Group: Shove them up where?!

    Horell: I have no problem letting them think were idiots. so long as they think were harmless idiots.

    Lonji: I’m not judging you; I’m just confirming the madness.

    Horell: How proficient are you with "Lonji on a stick"?

    Loni: Please kill the spider so I don’t have to make the moral choice?
    Horell: you fail at morals?
    Lonji: heal friend, kill spider, heal friend, kill spider, heal spider, kill friend.
    GM: your going to end up sticking Horell with the rapier.
    Scar: It all ends with you hitting the spider with the wand of healing and realizing: "huh. where did my rapier go”?

    GM: strangely the intruders are friend shaped.

    Lonji: I like the strategy of waving the rabid swashbuckler at the enemy.

    Lonji: I know what you are going to say, don’t do, it is bellow your dignity. To which I say: no, its not!

    Lonji: I know we see weird sh--- every other day, but the sight of Sasanis horse walking upstairs is just unnatural.

    Scar: you get exp for walking into traps, right?
    GM: Only if it is EXPlosions.

    Lonji: My head is not my default measuring device.

    Lonji: hello ambush, my name is amtree.

    GM: people are paralyzed and about to be eaten by spiders, this is supposed to be terrifying.
    Group: it is. that’s why we’re trying to deflate the tension with bad jokes.

    Alum: I have the same strength as a table.
    GM: And like a table you’re not moving.

    Lonji: We go downstairs and plant our cleric like a flower.

    Scar: and for once scar the murderhobo just wanted to talk to him.
    Lonji: We´ve done the switchero.

    Sasani: Maybe we could convert him?
    Alum: we´re going to convert him into mulch.

    Lonji: Are the spiders communicating using websters dictionary or are they using the net.
    Scar: If their appearance is any hint, their using the dark web.

    Scar: and then I calm down again. you may hurt me now.

    GM: everyone roll a reflex save, including the furries.

    Horell: this is the third worst pain.
    Alum: yes, but we´ve all heard underlings laugh at their bosses bad jokes before.

  3. - Top - End - #483
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Sep 2020

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Evil Guy: "So, do you wish to serve me?"
    Raven: "You have my sword." [laying the sword at the EG's feet]
    Evil Guy: "Good."
    Raven: "...but I'm a Wizard." [casts Black Tentacles]

  4. - Top - End - #484
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Dec 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Lizardfolk Paladin puts his arms around the shoulders of the drunk, joyfully sobbing kenku and the drunk, joyfully sobbing gnome. "I just love weddings... want to steal the ferry?"

    To all the posters before me, those are some brilliant quotes. Thanks for the humor :)
    Last edited by NRSASD; 2020-09-26 at 11:09 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #485
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheYell's Avatar

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    Feb 2013
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    Phoenix, AZ
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    GM: Ok what do you do?
    DARK PALADIN: So I'm staring at two dozen Horune Pirates who are dazed and blinded in a corridor?
    GM: Yep
    DARK PALADIN: (giggling breathlessly) I raise my flamethrower and shout, "I don't want to do this...BUT I MUST"
    GM: Yeah. Just roll to hit already

    VAMPIRE: Ugh. If I tell you, will you let me go?
    APHELION: You have my word.
    DARK PALADIN: Mine too.
    GM: The vampire tries to tell you where to find his master, but he chokes. His neck writhes and his head turns around. Clearly he can't tell you.
    APHELION: Well that means the deal is off, doesn't it?
    DARK PALADIN: Ahahaha
    APHELION: Ahahaha
    DARK PALADIN AND APHELION: Ahahaha
    APHELION: I cast Life Blast on him

    GM: You see a burst of light. Its coming from the nuclear warhead.
    DARK PALADIN: I jump into a refrigerator.

    GM: What do you do?
    DARK PALADIN: I turn blue and lose my clothes.
    GM: What?
    DARK PALADIN: And I go back in time when this didn't happen, and I change the future.
    GM: Sounds like a power you don't have.
    DARK PALADIN: Are you sure surviving that nuke didn't make me Dr. Manhattan?

    APHELION : I speed burst straight up to orbit, and I toss away the nuclear warhead, saying "This weapon is too dangerous for anyone to own"
    DARK PALADIN: OK, Kal-El.

    DARK PALADIN: Imma holster my weapon and call on them to stop the fighting.
    GM: Do you have any ability that would help you do that?
    DARK PALADIN: No...
    GM: What's your MA score?
    DARK PALADIN: 3.
    GM: Uhah. Nope.
    APHELION: "Stop fighting, jerks! Gawd!"

    GM: She fades away and shouts, "Never come near the Federation of Magic! You will be destroyed!"
    APHELION: Same to you, bitch!
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  6. - Top - End - #486
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    E: "My only regret is that I didn't see more of this lovely world."
    R: "My only regret is that I couldn't take more of them down first."
    X: "My only regret is that I'm tied to a stake with you two."

    A: *raises sword* "With this knife, I shall care my way through villainy!" *raises trident* "And with this fork, I shall pierce the heart of evil! Prepare yourselves, IT'S DINNER TIME!"

    X: "There goes the village. Up in flames, as impermanent as life itself."
    O: "Why do you always have to be so gloomy?"
    X: "My emotions are in a jar that I can't open.

    R (OOC): DEAR GOD! SCUPPERS WHAT DID YOU EAT?
    DM: What happened?
    R (OOC): My dog farted, and its bad enough to melt steel!
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  7. - Top - End - #487
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Rynjin's Avatar

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    Sep 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Gadrick: "So we're all agreed that burning this village and everyone in it to the ground is the right thing to do?"

  8. - Top - End - #488
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Sasani: Lonji, I dropped my lance over there.
    Lonji: I can be your lance!

    Lonji: They´re spiders.
    Boss: Wow, racist much.
    Sasani: a racehorse to be more exact.

    Horell: Oh, my gods! I hit!
    GM: I know, this has never happened before.

    Sasani: if you were a sorcerer you would have bloodline: frog.

    Alum: Lonji is a reach weapon.

    Lonji: I think most of that damage is simply momentum.

    Monster: What did the lizard say to the rat?
    Scar excitedly from afar: LUNCH!
    Sasani: yea, what he said.
    Monster: very well, lunch.

    Horell: I miss.
    GM: as usual then.
    Horell: Yes. everything is back to normal again.

    GM: you should not throw a star knife at someone’s chocolate starfish!

    Boss: please. your embarrassing us both.
    Horse: MUNCH!

    Scar: I attack the hand. I don’t understand tactics, but I do understand that the bad guys gets a lot more talkative when all their henchmen are gone.
    GM: ok, you attack the hand that feeds you.

    GM: you attack the hand with two devastating high fives.

    Scar: Oh my god that’s a table.
    Scar: Oh my god you really went overboard with that.
    GM: You look at the table of content and its full of people.

    Alum: it’s not mimics you need to be afraid of, it’s the unalive furniture. Table away!

    Table: hulloo, im a table.

    Horell: Scar is surrounded.
    GM: the same way a blender is surrounded by fruit.

    Horell: Why do you assume I did something stupid? maybe I just got ambushed.
    Alum: have you even met this group?

    Alum: harumpf. what a waste of item destroying powers.

    Alum go down the hole.
    Lonji: oh, how the tables have turned.

    Horell: Now who is rushing into trouble?
    Alum: Sasani. I’m just the passenger.

    GM: as you lie there in the hole, staring upwards, you see the falling sense of irony.

    GM: if you say so, I’m gona trust you, I’m not here to do math.

    Lonji: You came out here for a good time, but honestly your feeling attacked right now.

    Lonji: this is the first time I’ve ever charged
    Horell: technically you have charged, just never on the ground
    Lonji: I’ve fallen on people before, this time its intentional.

    Horell: I’m apparently part duck
    Scar: you were merely adopted by the duck.
    GM: Horell swoops down like a majestic albatross and snatches Lonji from the water like a fish.

    Scar: I don’t think we had a plan.
    Lonji: my plan was getting into the house. I had a plan. I’m a leadership figure.
    Horell: you lead us into trouble

    Scar: Under completely different circumstances this wouldn’t have been completely stupid

    Horell: this plan looked so much better in my head.
    Lonji: This plan is looking amazing.

    Lonji: I use my personality, I’m to pretty to be diseased.

    GM: They are unarmored, not naked.
    Scar: this is fantasy, unarmored women are basically considered naked.
    Lonji: technically even armored women are considered naked.
    Horell: only if their wearing high level armor.

    GM: do you know why all monks are female? they are all able to control their shi.
    Sasani: Avatar the last genderbender.

    Lonji: hehehe...wait... oh no. THIS WAS ALMOST VOLUNTARY!
    GM: Lonji go down the hole
    Alum: Is lonji cheating on me?

  9. - Top - End - #489
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    Vacation in Nyalotha

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Then Nico (a living PC) could be her next dead husband!"
    Last edited by Xervous; 2020-10-02 at 10:37 PM.
    By the metric of being wholly dependent on the GM for noncombat interaction Fighter is an NPC class.

  10. - Top - End - #490
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Feb 2009
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    New Jersey
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: "You are disguised as a giant bird person in the capitol city of the Drow. You kinda stick out."
    Player: "I didn't pick this disguise! You did!"
    DM: "Maybe tip your illusionist better."

  11. - Top - End - #491
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Aug 2013
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    Location, Location

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Are you going to run away now? Or do I have to bleed on you some more?"
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  12. - Top - End - #492
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    R: “Honey does not grant divine powers!”
    A: “Anything grants divine powers in enough quantity!”
    R: “That’s not how that works!”

    O: “Everything feels wrong! Even my liver feels incorrect!”

    E: “Un-mouth that fruit!”

    X: “My entire life is based on the ideals of Destiny.”
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  13. - Top - End - #493
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Dec 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    First time player, having just created a fire-focused sorcerer: "Do humans count as fuel?"

  14. - Top - End - #494
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    May 2013
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    The Underworld
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "What does isiproply mean?"

    "...Did... did you think I was serious about the Harem? Wait, is that an option?"
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  15. - Top - End - #495
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Personification's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by NRSASD View Post
    First time player, having just created a fire-focused sorcerer: "Do humans count as fuel?"
    I mean, objectively, yes.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.

    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  16. - Top - End - #496
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlueHamsterBean's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    GM:"The metal face in the sky lets out a scream that rends reality itself."
    Player:"Oh great, this guy's into Swedish Metal. I'm never sharing my playlist with him."
    Many thanks to Meto30 for sketching this amazing piece of art, and for allowing me to use it as my avatar!

  17. - Top - End - #497
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Foeofthelance's Avatar

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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "You know, its one thing to loot a dead party member's body, its another to thing to try and loot their body."

    "Undead don't liiiiike it, bop the zombie, bop the zombie!" (As sung to the tune of Rock the Casbah)

    "Four hundred years of undead and great, we found a theater critic."
    Basilisk 6
    Pilot of the Thing

    I'm not evil. My morals just aren't the same as society's.

    On a one man quest to beat the Star Wars Universe, using nothing but simple, plain, ordinary logic. Score so far: Me 593 SWU 450


  18. - Top - End - #498
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    R: “Yes, I like to dress up as a woman and hit things with a big sword, don’t kink-shame me!”

    E: “I don’t have to listen to me, but you do!”

    O: “My bones lied to me!”

    A: “Stop standing there like a lemon about to be juiced!”

    X: “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve pressed your face into?”

    E: “As long as I’m a mushroom, my heart is hidden, and I’m safe.”

    R: “He can regrow from a single yeast!”

    A: “You ain’t a lord! You’re a s’more! I’m gonna set you on fire, melt you down, and eat you like a snack!”
    Last edited by ZeroGear; 2020-10-18 at 10:32 PM.

  19. - Top - End - #499
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    “I think you’re misunderstanding my relationships by looking at it through your own lens. It’s less that I own many, and more than I am owned by many. This [censored] is communal property, essentially.”
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

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