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  1. - Top - End - #511
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    E: "Don't worry! We've got experience dealing with these kinds of situations!"
    A: "You could even say we're 'Seasoned Adventurers'!"
    R: "Sure, if blood and guts count as seasoning."

    X: "Some help please?"
    O: "Dammit, if only this fence wasn't in the way."
    R: "You can FLY you birdbrain!"

    E: "Are they panicking?"
    O: "Everyone except skeletons!"
    X: "Not much gets under their skin."

    A: "I'm warning you! I HAVE A SPOON!"
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  2. - Top - End - #512
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheYell's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    GM: ...And carved in the altar is the Latin word for "Love".
    CHRIS: Would that be "caritas", or "eros"?
    RON: "Agape".
    GM: Shut up.

    ****
    GM: And Ian is babbling about something or other.
    CHRIS: "Ian: Did you know the Doctor and the Master were each other's mothers? I read that online"
    GM: +50 XP to you Chris
    Last edited by TheYell; 2020-11-13 at 06:34 AM.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  3. - Top - End - #513
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Cyberiad_Queen's Avatar

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    Feb 2020
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by TheYell View Post
    GM: ...And carved in the altar is the Latin word for "Love".
    CHRIS: Would that be "caritas", or "eros"?
    RON: "Agape".
    Agape and Eros are Greek, actually.
    .

  4. - Top - End - #514
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Horell: I kind of like getting the guided tour through the bandit castle.

    Lonji: This is weird. I know we have to kill him but I kind of donít want to.
    Horell: This is the demon all over again.
    Lonji: Canít we just guard him incompetently so that he runs away?

    Bandit: wow. how did you find all this neat gear and weapons here?
    Lonji: We prayed.
    Bandit: In that case I really need to find god.

    Horell: I know you have worked hard to steal all this stuff, but we are going to give it all back.
    Bandit: That is completely understandable. I am a thief. I understand that thieving goes both ways.

    Alum: Alum looks as happy in the mud as... Alum in mud...

    Lonji: should we bring everyone with us to the geishas?
    Horell: I think the horse might be a little too much.

    Lonji: Iīll put the gloves on the horse and make it say careful.
    Horse: !?
    Lonji: It wonít be easy since I first have to teach it Teran.

    Scar: I havenít crafted anything.
    GM: You have crafted a lot of corpses
    Lonji: We are very proficient at that.
    Scar: Thatís not crafting. Thatís art.

    Horell: (hits with attack)
    Horell: (to crossbow) I donít understand. What do you want from me?!
    Lonji: Why are you upset? you hit him.

    Alum: The enemy of my enemy could just be a "%&#.

    Lonji: I mean I also hit people when I get suppressed.

    Lonji: But he was mean.
    Horell: so were you for cutting his head off.
    Lonji: Last time we talked to our enemies we kind of developed Stockholmís syndrome.
    GM: Confess. you were just angry because he called you ugly.

    Lonji: Itís like reverse acupuncture. I hit them in the foot and their backs explode.

    Scar: Iím on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.

    Alum: Scar is being really reasonable civil about this.
    Lonji: usually Iím the one who flies into a fight.
    Scar: yea. I usually gets dragged into fighting.

    Horell: Iím really happy the murder lizard is on our side.
    Alum: as a person that has been murdered by himÖ yes.

    Alum: technically I can summon a bunch of tigers. would that be racist?

    Lonji: oh, thatís right I have a boat in my pocket.
    Horell: is that a boat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    Horell: IīM A MOTHERFLUFFING ALBATROSS
    GM: I think Horell just got upgraded to seagull. Master of both air and water.
    Lonji: Why are you only awesome when rescuing me?

    GM: the seagulls donít pay you much mind, they have accepted you into their society.

    Lonji: Iím not a professional murderer.
    Alum: no, you are an enthusiastic armature.
    Lonji: your right. Iím not getting paid for this.

    Lonji: Iím gona sneak up all quiet like and open the door. if it explodes... it will make a loud noise.

    Loni: I donít want to talk to them. they are scared of me and that hurts.

    Horell: "is sad"
    GM: donít worry, the seagulls still love you.

    Alum: if this turns out to be a big misunderstanding Iím going to have to repair all the doors you break.
    GM: oh no. that will take all of a few seconds.
    Alum: itís the principle that counts.

    Horell: there are bad touchy ghosts!

  5. - Top - End - #515
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Kestutis: I get out my potion of levitation and drink it.

    GM: In the avalanche...

    Lathan's Player: "You're wearing boots of levitation."

    Catch cry for a decade afterwards... "Wisdom of 21!".
    Last edited by Tarmor; 2020-11-15 at 04:08 AM.

  6. - Top - End - #516
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    E: "WHY IS THERE A CROCODILE IN THE HOUSE?"
    R: "I was wondering where I felt that."

    O: "There was a shadow, and it moved!"

    X: "What's the current market value of thirty-acres-and-a-mule?"

    R: "Do you not know anything about breeding horses?"
    X: "...no."

    E: "Wait until you see it's extendable neck!"

    O: "He just aggressively thrust in my direction!"

    R: "What could be worse than actual rotting flesh?"
    A: "It could have been something mint-flavored."

    A: "I got you! I got you!"
    E: "Get me more! Get me harder!"
    A: "...would you like to rephrase that for five points?"
    E: "No!"

    X: "What? I'm not above a little petty kidnapping."

    E: "IT'S THE CROCODILE AGAIN!"
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  7. - Top - End - #517
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Chat logs after my most recent session (slightly cleaned up):

    Spoiler: Dramatis Personae
    Show

    Tsun Azur : a halfling paladin. Fond of breaking kneecaps. Reacts really badly when people call him any of "cute", "small", or "child". Does not appreciate pats on the head.
    Sargas of Tor Elan : a soulforged (warforged, but different) cleric of Tor Elan, the sun god/war god. Takes "war" very seriously. Super militant. Not so much a diplomat.
    Rune : a fallen aasimar hexblade warlock. Missing most of his memories and new to the group. Not sure who (or what) his patron is.
    Dil : a human bard. Played by one of GitP's own regulars.
    Crow : Doesn't speak much, but he's basically a kenku batman. Simultaneously the odd man out (being from a whole different continent) and the only sane party member.


    Tsun Azur : So I canít adopt her...?
    Sargas of Tor Elan and Rune, basically simultaneously : No
    Tsun Azur : Darn
    Dil : [You can] try, but I don't think it's likely

    ...sometime later...

    Tsun Azur : ...So when we return, Iím gonna adopt Lacivia.....
    Rune: No
    Tsun Azur Why...? She is adorable!
    Dil : Of course. :slight_smile: She's so sweet ...
    Tsun Azur : See someone sides with me
    Dil : ... but kind of powerful ...
    Sargas of Tor Elan : We do not want a powerful fae on us
    Tsun Azur : Itís okay. We can train her to help us
    Rune : https://tenor.com/view/matt-mercer-n...e-gif-16077059
    Tsun Azur : Darn :frowning:

    Spoiler: Context
    Show
    They were talking about the archfey they met, Lascivia, who took the shape of a little child. As a note, her power level would be OVER 9000!!!!! Not quite demigod-class, but not that far off either. Capable of locking bunches of people into stasis without effort and converting all their weapons into hairpins (lots and lots of them to account for the mass). And they're level 2 (now 3).


    ...sometime later...

    Tsun Azur : Btw if we find any other Ďchildí NPCs (or actual child NPCs) with no adults, Tsun might ask to adopt them. Just saying.
    Sargas of Tor Elan : The party is not adopting any children. It's one thing if we rescue some and need to get them back to town to save them but we ain't traveling to dangerous areas with a child lol
    Rune : True that. We're not exactly good role models necessarily.

    Tsun Azur : Well if we rescue a child, can Tsun temporarily take care of them until we return them to town? Keep them away from the scary people and act as a good influence? Yes I know we are not taking children into crazy situations.
    Sargas of Tor Elan : Good influence? Tsun? "No no you hit the kneecap at this angle".
    Tsun Azur : Yes he would be teaching them that.
    Rune : See my point?
    Tsun Azur : No. He is an excellent influence.

    Sargas of Tor Elan : I recognize the need to keep children away from any of us... and if we must, I'm giving it to Crow. He's the overall most sane of us. Which is ironic since he's the ROGUE.
    Rune: I can agree with that.
    Tsun Azur : Letís say that in the Halfling tribe, Tsun was responsible for handling the children in the tribe. One of them liked pyromancy and would argue with Tsun over the effectiveness of 3rd degree burns vs busting kneecaps...Okay I do agree, Crow is the sane one.

    Sargas of Tor Elan : Let's see... religious fanatic metal man, the kneecapper tsun, the mental patient rune, and flirty bard, and the quiet rogue. Hmmmmmmm.
    Tsun Azur: Honestly Crow is the normal one until he teaches them to become Batman or kidnap other kids.
    Sargas of Tor Elan : Crow never kidnapped any kids. He kidnapped a halfling paladin and didn't even get a receipt so we can't return it for a less crazy model.
    Rune : Very true.
    Tsun Azur : Hey this Halfling Paladin is amazing. No need for an exchange. And you canít get a receipt for a kidnapping.
    Last edited by PhoenixPhyre; 2020-11-16 at 12:13 AM.
    Dawn of Hope: a 5e setting. http://wiki.admiralbenbo.org
    PhoenixPhyre's Extended Homebrew Signature
    5e Monster Data Sheet--vital statistics for all 693 MM, Volo's, and now MToF monsters: Updated!

  8. - Top - End - #518
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    May 2013
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    Where I am

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Mr. Fox, why do I periodically go insane and trying to kill everyone?"
    "Rawr, blarg, rawr yip-yip-roar!"
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here

    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  9. - Top - End - #519
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    A tempest in a teacup
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Shifter: I put on my opera mask and fake moustache and approach the guard.
    DM: Ok...
    Shifter: Hello! I am the French ambassador from Gobbledegook, and this is my entourage. I have come to inspect the structural integrity of your building!
    elephants are made of carbon




    and so are you

  10. - Top - End - #520
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Feb 2009
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    New Jersey
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Excuse me sir, do you have change for a Rembrandt?"

    "We're the middle chain in a mambo line of spies chasing spies."

    "I'm gonna volleyball spike that gazer."

    "You have to go North to go South."

    "So, a dwarf, a child, and a robot walk into a lingerie store..."

    "Can you pick locks?
    "I can, but... it's a bag."

    "At last! A butter worthy of being spread by my knife!"

  11. - Top - End - #521
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2020

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Hendry: You know, the fact that I wasn't more disturbed by taking that oath is disturbing.

    Jett: You know, the fact that I wasn't more comfortable with taking that oath is comforting... screw you, dad.

  12. - Top - End - #522
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    X: "Don't worry, I'm going to punch you back to health."

    E: "You're a spotted d**k."
    R: "That sounds bad, you should get that looked at."

    A: "Why are you a depressed sheep?"

    R: "Be careful of the explosions."
    A: "What?"
    R: "And the laser beam."
    A: "WHAT?"
    R: "And the sleep gas."
    A: "WHAT?"
    R: "Also the poison."
    A: "IS THERE ANYTHING IT DOESN'T HAVE?"

    E: "It's a 50/50 chance with you: either it's a joke, or you're stupid."
    O: "Why than-...HEY!"

    X: "Don't worry, you're going to love it. Just close your eyes and hold out your hands..."
    E: "THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE IN HORROR STORIES!"
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  13. - Top - End - #523
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Alum: so, we are basically fighting bad AI.
    Horell: Alum. you broke them.
    Sasani: you pressed the god mode button.
    Alum: Yea literally. Iím also nocliping.

    Sasani: Horell falls, everyone dies.
    GM: No. I will not TPK half the party under Horellís butt.

    Scar: *in bad Italian mobster accent* I usually kill for money, but now Iím tiny, I kill you for nothing.

    Sasani: I charge it with my sword hurting ghost... I mean ghost hurting sword.
    GM: itís the dreaded sword hurting ghost. it will make your sword into an ex-calibur.

    Lonji: Lick the gate.

    Lonji: ALUM. LICK THE BEADS.

    GM: This is bull----- why do they build all these cool puzzles and then give you the off button.
    Scar: the swiss army sword of solutions.

    Horell: how much wood would a Lonji know if a Lonji would know wood.
    Scar: all of it if he licked it.

    Alum: stop poking it. itís a trap. A light activated trap.
    Scar: Eh. let Lonji at it. he not so bright.

    Alum: Mm. this is good wood.

    Scar: so, he tricked her into playing cards against your humanity.

    Lonji: we are all really... whatís the phrase... horny for malice.
    Everyone else: WTF!

    GM: itís a "tiger"
    Scar: chunky boy!

    Scar: is there a spell "summon yarn ball"?

    GM: you are deafened for 4 rounds
    Alum: As if that makes any difference. Lonji never listens to us anyway.

    Horell: That looks suspicious. is it black with orange stripes or orange with black stripes?

    Horell: Thatís not a tiger
    GM: I said he was a wizard with a tiger. not that he was one.
    Lonji: you told us that he was a tiger, I choose to believe.
    Scar: what! no tiger?
    Lonji: I was promised a tiger. letís just turn around and leave.
    GM: is this really your primary concern?

    Scar: Oh no you canít harm the door... After alum is done the door will be the only thing standing out of the whole dungeon.

    Horell: that things attack bonus is higher than my AC...
    Scar: so, what your saying is that it has a 5% miss chance against you.
    Alum: so, what your saying is that youíre on the right side of the door.

    Horell: itís still a hit.
    GM: I havenít rolled yet.
    Horell: ...itís still a hit.

    Horell: I thought clouds were immune to lightning.
    Lonji: No, they are filled with lightning.
    Horell: I am now.

    Lonji: we have no willpower. if they talk to us, we become friends.

    Horell: well... there is a small possibility of about 90%.

    Lonji: Donít worry. Iíll go and kill that shadow demon and... *stabs Horell through the chest*

    Horell: *GHASP*--- Alum... what would it take to convert to Thorag-ism.

    Horell: Well it was nice knowing you... again.
    Alum: I JUST FIXED THAT!

    Scar: ugh. youíre such a stickler for protocol
    Alum: Yes. thank you.

    Oracle: I see that the winged man did not make it.
    Alum: Iīll fix him. I fix things. like stuff, and people, and peoplestuff.

    Sasani: so, you just flew all the way from the caravan and boy are your arms tired?
    Horell: basically yes.

    NPC: *takes out her instrument and starts playing it*
    Horell: Wait! she came down with us!
    GM: did anyone tell her to wait at the surface?

    Dragon turtle: you got the girl and killed our master. why are you here?
    Scar: shinnies mostly.
    Scar: Think about us mentally like red dragons.
    Scar: you could technically leave for... say 1-hour tops and then return and we would be long gone.

  14. - Top - End - #524
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Aug 2013
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    Location, Location

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "This isn't Faerun, high-level characters don't grow on trees here!"
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  15. - Top - End - #525
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Monk (about the fighter): dashing through the halls, on a one bear open shield, oíer the floor we go, NEVER-ing all the way

    DM: As a bear, you're inherently mooning the guards

    Druid: How can you be the king's messenger if you DROP things??!
    elephants are made of carbon




    and so are you

  16. - Top - End - #526
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: Magical script appears on the door. It says "Two failed password attempts. One more failed password attempt will lock this door for 10 minutes."

    Druid: It's actually lies covered in carrots!

    Rogue: Lies covered in carrots.

    DM: The door locks itself.
    elephants are made of carbon




    and so are you

  17. - Top - End - #527
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Dec 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Tarqhua: It's like beer goggles for Jesus!

    Seth: Hi we're your friends.
    Hobgoblin: I don't have any friends left.
    Seth: We're your new friends!

    All of the female players in unison, upon seeing more pirate wizards: Ah! More fabulous men!

    Pirate Wizard: Fashion is our only crime!

    Tomph: Who's that cowboy in the corner?
    Seth: Oh my, I like him! I'm going to take his clothes.
    Last edited by NRSASD; 2020-12-13 at 10:46 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #528
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Of course! I..." Saint's stance suddenly shifts, pushing out his chest in a swaggering posture. "...am the infamous wandering warrior, Saint of Heroes. And I'm going to get some answers from this Warden, if he's letting his city fall into such vile darkness!"

    As Saint announces himself, there's a moment of silence in the building.

    Then, "Who?"
    "Wait, you don't know either?"
    "Oh thank the gods, I thought I was the only one..."
    "You shouldn't say you're infamous if you're not, kid, you'll give people heart attacks."

    Usho scowls. "Well you WILL know him when he saves all of you faster than you can say 'the Empress bathes in goat's blood'!"
    "Oh gods, does she?"
    "Is that how she stayed young for centuries?"
    "I heard it was the blood of her own children... that's why she had so many of them!"
    "She had goat kids?!"

    Usho buries his faces in his hands. "[Saint] do we have to save these people?"
    Last edited by HalfTangible; 2020-12-13 at 07:34 PM.
    It's hard to forgive those who have wronged you but every moment you don't is another they have hurt you.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Discord: HalfTangible#7505

    Extended Sig

    Kalani the Heartbinder in Pan-aeons [God Game]
    STing Winter is Coming [Exalted 3e]
    Chanson in Empire: Call of the World

  19. - Top - End - #529
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Lackey! More flamers!"

    "Lackey! Another fire extinguisher!"

    "Well I'm not the one who burnwd down the city this time.

    "Did we just give the mind flayers a world destroying super weapon?"

    "None of us own any planets right? Just the spaceship?"
    Niven's Laws, #5
    If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.

  20. - Top - End - #530
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Different campaign due to hiatus in meetings:
    (Iīve never seen so many nat 1:s)

    Tenka: Iím dead!? wait does that mean we can double die? can we triple die? can we even kill anything? double kill?

    Tenka: you know when people say to stay calm? Those are the moments when you definitely should not stay calm.

    Tenka: Iím not sure you can starve once you are dead. but Iím not about to find out.
    Asher: how do you think skeletons happen?

    Tenka: wow. remind me never to piss off Ray of sunlight born by the... something or other... forgot it.
    Asher: you could start with remembering his name.
    Tenka: come on. itís a long and complicated name.
    Ray Of Sunlight, Born By The Grace Of The GODDESS, Rememeber,That One Day, You Too, Shall Die: itís a medium length name and to the point.

    Ray: have you made peace with your gods?
    Tenka: I donít know. Iīve gone to church every Sunday. so... yes?

    NPC: you are not technically in the right post mortem frame of reference?

    Asher: Deathception.
    GM: yes. the entire boneyard is a little confused.

    NPC: We canít leave the graveyard in this state in the boneyard. That would be the gravest of insults.

    Tenka: we could try to run away... from a large god like entity... so... not many good options.

    Tenka: Lets double kill this bird.
    Asher: I grab the crow with burning hands.
    Ray: I am morally conflicted right now.

    Bird: YOU STUPID &%#@!
    Ray: I wonít deny that.

    Bird: Get of me!
    Asher: Donít get off!
    Ray: I wonít help the bird get off.

    Mayor: why have you bound a bird?
    Tenka: It kept screaming at us.

    Asher: So many teeth. so unnerving.
    GM: He has teeth on his head.
    Tenka: He has teeth in his head.
    Asher: Not a lot according to his picture.

    Crow: heís lying trough his teeth.
    Asher: I take a step forward and BURNING HANDS.
    Tenka: Ah, a heated argument I see.

    Tenka: The real owner of this castle will be SO happy with us.
    Asher: Whenever I have a problem I throw a Molotov cocktail at it. Oh look, a new problem.
    GM: The diplomat everyone.

    Tenka: oh... this has never happened for me before...
    Asher: YES, IT HAS!
    Asher: MORE FIRE!

    GM: the perfect strike with the strength of a butterfly.
    GM: What we have learned today is that itís time to do pushups.

    Ray: I walk up and with the inevitability of winter I... miss.
    Tenka: In this group that really is inevitable.
    Ray: Statistically this should not happen.

    Asher: if we are going to be ineffective we can at least do it inexpensively

  21. - Top - End - #531
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    May 2008
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    Orlando, FL
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Oze: "I guess I'm not a figment of my own imagination."

    Icebreaker: "CPAs. Who really certifies them?"

    News Pony: "A truck filled with red paint has overturned after colliding with a delivery drone carrying brown shoe polish. Drives at the intersection are marooned until emergency servies arrive."

    Nebula: "I have ponykinesis. I will fight you for these cookies!"
    Nivix: "I have ponykinesis too. I will fight back!"
    Father Irons: "Now now, we are all children of Celestia. There is cookies for everyone."
    Icebreaker: "Some of us are more children than others..."

    Icebreaker: "So what we do is toss all the cookies into a blender-"
    Nebula: "NOOO!!"
    Icebreaker: "What? That's basically how you make a Starbucks drink."
    GM: "...fair point."

    Voice in the hall: "One two, buckle my shoe..."
    Icebreaker: "Nebula, stop being creepy."
    Nebula: *snoring like a truck*
    Lethe: "I'm waking the other team members."
    Voice in the hall: "Three four, shut the door..."
    Nebula: "I'm going to have nightmares about this."
    Oze: "Same."

    Peanu Gallery: "The Shadow Realm needs better wifi."

    PCs: *critting their dodgeball attacks*
    Smirkfluff: "Someone needs to call these shadow creatures a Wahbulance."
    GM: "The announcer isn't even coherent now. Just growling at this point."
    Nivix: "Angry shadow muppet noises."

    Tantabus: "Why isn't she burning?! It's been 15 minutes, I preheated this oven!"

    Nivix: "I am perfectly willing to subject myself to the nightmares. For science."

    Nebula: "I'm going to eat a horsetess snack cake. Angrily."

    Oze: "Is Nebula being hunted by some organization?"
    Nebula: (*spittakes*) "What."
    Icebreaker: "Wanted, dead or alive: this child!"

    Nebula: "Is the wifi box sitting on one of those awkward shelves that doesn't quite fit anything?"
    GM: "Where it hangs, looking out of place? Yes."
    Icebreaker: "When you're as old as Madam Mimi, you have to be careful of the weefee demons!"

    Madam Mimi: "You all seem to be very interested, and Lethe rolled a 27 Sense Motive against me..."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2020-12-28 at 12:01 PM.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races
    Avatar by me - Doc Wagon

  22. - Top - End - #532
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    toulouse
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    finally a player again! meet yeet the gnoll.

    ogrin: we should pack food.
    yeet: i haz food.
    drow rogue (unrevealed name): i've seen what you eat. i'm not eating goblin.
    yeet: i haz human-food, too. i can cook good food for you. i keep the goblin for me. taste good.
    fen'wei: well, at least we're not on the menu!
    ogrin: yet.

    yeet: hay tribe mine! if yeet give cheese to people, they become friends!
    dm: that was way too adorable for a 7 foot tall anthropophage.
    ogrin: out-faced by a walking garbage disposal.

    fen'wei the elf: ok, time to go see the burger-master.
    yeet: i haz no more cheese, how will ogrin make him like tribe?
    rogue: maybe he likes goblin?
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: ďIf it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.Ē
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  23. - Top - End - #533
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    New Jersey
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: The book presents five options for how the players could potentially solve the crisis. You all chose option six.
    Players: But all the people involved in options 1-5 hate us!

  24. - Top - End - #534
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2021

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "You know what they call a quarterstaff in France?"

    "You must declare you are wearing pants."

  25. - Top - End - #535
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Sharangar's Revenge
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Wait, I thought we were fighting the banshee!"
    "The banshee now works for Therium."
    "So now the undead scorpions are on our side?"
    "Yup."
    "So now the ceiling's attacking us."
    "Yup."
    Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
    My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  26. - Top - End - #536
    Colossus in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "And you're doing that as a f*cking carrot?!"

    "And the only person behind it is a sack of carrots at 7 inches tall."
    Last edited by Diachronos; 2021-01-26 at 10:08 PM.

  27. - Top - End - #537
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Sep 2010
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Player: Sounds like we found a new base. With a minor monster infestation.

    DM: Shouldn't you wait until you're out of earshot before you start openly planning to betray the questgiver?

  28. - Top - End - #538
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Oh no, I am cursed as all heck, just like the rest. It's simply that I was designed to be cursed later, making me the sole good guy of my master's creations."
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  29. - Top - End - #539
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    New Jersey
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "We paid off our loan to the mob, and now our loan shark is crashing on our couch for a week."
    "Wait, what? This is why I can't leave you in charge of the tavern!"
    "They're paying us 400 gold."
    "Never mind! Carry on!"

  30. - Top - End - #540
    Colossus in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "Boss Fight Part 2: Political Boogaloo"

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