Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

[Kardwill]

Elf : I wonder what this magic ring does. Do I jump higher?
GM : Nope.
Elf : Maybe protection? Bouffu, hit me!
Dwarf (grinning) : Really? Okay, (roll) 19 to hit, 9 points of damage.
Elf : "NOT WITH YOUR MAGESLAYER AXE!"
Dwarf : If an elf asks you to hit them, you have to do it properly.
GM : As a silver lining, you noticed the ring was glowing just before the axe hit your face. Record a ring of protection +1.
Elf : Nifty. Still, owwww.

[KorvinStarmast]

GM: On the tera raptor's turn, he knocked you down and tore a hole in your space suit. Your defensive move was to kick at him; you just kicked a tera raptor in his junk.
Dr Sane: I think you'll just make him mad.
Dr Ronson: I'll crawl away and patch up the space suit.
Dr Sane: Thanks. I now have an angry tera raptor in my face.

---

Rune Knight: I was not ready for dragon mutual butt sniffing tonight.

[DigoDragon]

Lily: "What kind of resistances does it have?"
Jeremiah (stabbing it in the tentacle): "It doesn't have dagger resistance."

Sparks: "Good thing I remembered to put Electrical resistance on the party before I did that."
Lily: "Would have been a shocking turn of events otherwise."

GM: "So the floor feels spongy to you."
Beau (hovering in the air): "What floor?"
Sparks: "Okay. so for us plebeians who can't fly, sponge floor."

Beau: "This suck of hit points brought to you by..."

Sparks: "We're in the middle of a murder dungeon, and our cleric is touching grass."
Beau: "Can you blame her?"
Sparks: "No, I'm actually jealous."

Sparks: "Alright, I whip out my bison."
Jennah: "Oh myyy."

[KorvinStarmast]

Monk: Looks like a drug distribution center.
War Mage: And they are shipping it to your country. (Gestures to Rune Knight)
Rune Knight: Burn it to the ground. All of it.
Monk: Wait. Where will the folks who the mind flayers enslaved go?
Rune Knight: There are barrels of beans and rice in that warehouse over there.
As I said, burn this to the ground.
Druid: Sets fire to the building.
Rune Knight: Now let's go and find that elder brain...

====================

Druid: casts Commune. I get three questions, right?
DM: Yes.
Druid: Can we defeat all of those cities and towns where the mind flayers have the populace under their thumbs?
Response: You can try.
War Mage: There's this old elven library that I need to do some research in, see you guys later ...

[KorvinStarmast]

Monk: This looks like a drug distribution center.
War Mage: (looks at Rune Knight) And they are shipping it to your country.
Rune Knight: Burn it to the ground. All of it.
Monk: Wait, we just freed these people from Mind Flayers; where will they live?
Rune Knight: Wherever they can find shelter and food. The other warehouse is full of rice and beans.
Burn it to the ground.
Druid: OK. (casts the bonfire cantrip).