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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Arcane University Classes

    Literally. What would be some (hopefully slightly comical) names that an Arcane University might have for classes and/or one-off lectures?

    Things like:

    Succubus Summoning 101
    Blasting like a Balor: How To Make the Most of Your Fireball Spell
    Abjuration: The Study of Pretty Colors that Block Stuff
    Demons and Devils: What's the difference?
    Building an Undead Army 102: [scribbled underneath] Note: Not to be mistaken for how to resurrect loved ones.

    Etc.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Librarian in the Playground Moderator
     
    LibraryOgre's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Introduction to Metaphysics
    Advanced Studies in Arcane Lore
    Alchemy 101
    Calligraphy for Scroll-Writers
    The Cranky Gamer
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude; the appearance of truth within the framework of the game.
    *Picard management tip: Debate honestly. The goal is to arrive at the truth, not at your preconception.
    *Mutant Dawn for Savage Worlds!
    *The One Deck Engine: Gaming on a budget
    Written by Me on DriveThru RPG
    There are almost 400,000 threads on this site. If you need me to address a thread as a moderator, include a link.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Clistenes's Avatar

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    Last edited by Clistenes; 2019-04-20 at 04:46 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    That's good, but I'm looking for a more comical bend on the idea.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Quote Originally Posted by StevenC21 View Post
    That's good, but I'm looking for a more comical bend on the idea.
    for that, you can always go with the classic
    "arcane secrets that will drive you mad. MAD!"
    In memory of Evisceratus: he dreamed of a better world, but he lacked the class levels to make the dream come true.

    Ridiculous monsters you won't take seriously even as they disembowel you

    my take on the highly skilled professional: the specialized expert

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Illusionists take a lot of art classes, especially still life and figure painting.
    Time is but a pattern in the currents of causality,
    an ever changing present that determines our reality,
    the past we see as history, the future seed with prophecy,
    and all the time we think on time our time is passing constantly.
    Starlight and Steam RPG

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    gkathellar's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Every single department has found a way to proclaim via their 101 course that their spellcasting is the best and you need look nowhere else. Sorcery 101: Superior Spellcasting, that kind of thing. At least two departments don't even offer 101 courses these days, on account of being "too advanced" - in practice this means that one department's 201 is laughably simplistic for a course of its ostensible level, and that the other simply doesn't prepare you for 201 and most students flunk out.

    In general, the entire school is an excuse for faculty rivalries.
    Last edited by gkathellar; 2019-04-21 at 08:10 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by KKL
    D&D is its own momentum and does its own fantasy. It emulates itself in an incestuous mess.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Evocation 203: the value of friendship - teaches complex mathematical equations for determining whether or not it's worthwhile to friendly fire you allies

    Abjuration 210: Intermediate Theory for Counterspelling - actually an intermediate evocation course, but the Abjuration department forges paperwork to plant you in the class and have you take notes so they can find the flaws in their spells and counterspel them better. The better you do in the evocation class the better grade you get in this one, counts for 6 credits, obviously.

    Divination 201: Seeing the Unseen - the professor has a ring of Greater Invisibility and throws things at you while laughing. You can leave early if you can throw it back.

    Conjuration 312: Advanced Planar theory - Every Conjuration student who has taken this class seems tired. None of them talk about why.

    Necromancy 102: Life and Death basics - they meet in a field in the middle of the night. You run laps while Unseen Servants chase you with torches and pitchforks. Everyone drops this class in week two, but the Necromancy department unanimously agrees that it's the most important class in the curriculum.

    Illusion 404: How not to be Seen - the Professor has a Crystal Ball, a bag of flour, and a list of names. If he recognizes you at the final, you fail.

    Enchantment 302: Unseeing the Seen - You have a wand of modify memory and spend the entire class trying not to remember what the professor is doing.

    Transmutation 113: Basic Morphic structures - Theoretically this class is about experimenting with Alter Self and observing the plethora of different possible body modifications. In practice, this class is about figuring out which of your fellow students is a furry.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Math and Evocation: How Many Fireballs Are Too Many?

    Rhetorics 201: Getting Along With Your Meat-Shields

    Home Arcanomics: Finding the Freshest Components

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    These are really awesome. I'm definitely going to be using a bunch of them!

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    - Another Name for Running Away
    - Flame versus Acid, and Why Radiant Magic Sucks
    - How to Make Friends, an Introduction to Necromancy
    - Another Fireball, and Why its Never Too Much
    - Invisible Flight, and Why You Don't share with your Meat Shields
    - Slight of Hand, and why your 'Companions' don't need to know about the Gems you 'Found'
    - Charm and Why you Never Need Old Friends
    - Wild Magic and Wild Parties
    - Chaos and Making the Most of Randomness
    - Contingency and How you are Better than your Friends
    - Why Intelligence is the only thing that Matters
    - How to Make Dumb Folks Sacrifice for You
    - Cult Leadership 101, Starting an "Adventuring Party"

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    How to reach altered states of consciousness I: Lucid dreaming: literally consists of just napping and taking notes of your dreams.

    How to reach altered states of consciousness II: Herbal aides: literally doing every psychoactive drug under the sun.

    Bonus points for being something actual practicioners of esoteric arts might do in real life.
    "It's the fate of all things under the sky,
    to grow old and wither and die."

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Librarian in the Playground Moderator
     
    LibraryOgre's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Quote Originally Posted by Frozen_Feet View Post
    How to reach altered states of consciousness I: Lucid dreaming: literally consists of just napping and taking notes of your dreams.

    How to reach altered states of consciousness II: Herbal aides: literally doing every psychoactive drug under the sun.

    Bonus points for being something actual practicioners of esoteric arts might do in real life.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Book of Three
    Dallben, master of Caer Dallben, was three hundred and seventy-nine years old. His beard covered so much of his face he seemed always to be peering over a gray cloud. On the little farm, while Taran and Coll saw to the plowing, sowing, weeding, reaping, and all the other tasks of husbandry, Dallben undertook the meditating, an occupation so exhausting he could accomplish it only by lying down and closing his eyes. He meditated an hour and a half following breakfast and again later in the day. The clatter from the forge had roused him from his morning meditation; his robe hung askew over his bony knees.
    I'm just saying.
    The Cranky Gamer
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude; the appearance of truth within the framework of the game.
    *Picard management tip: Debate honestly. The goal is to arrive at the truth, not at your preconception.
    *Mutant Dawn for Savage Worlds!
    *The One Deck Engine: Gaming on a budget
    Written by Me on DriveThru RPG
    There are almost 400,000 threads on this site. If you need me to address a thread as a moderator, include a link.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Malphegor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Arcane Geometries: An Introduction- because somebody taught these wizards how to perfectly know the range of their spells and how to alter that.
    OI YOU! Join this one Discord where people talk 3.5 stuff! Also chicken infested related things! It’s pretty rad! https://discord.gg/6HmgXhUZ

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    The Heresy of Wisdom-based Arcane Spellcasting

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (for spell components)

    The Problem with Sorcerers: Why you shouldn't become a university dropout

    Elminster's Exercises for Evading Everything (Especially Effort) - Enlightened Experienced Expert

    The Simulacrum Invasion of 1129: How NOT to Take Over the World

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Intro to Postmortem Communications: Necromancy and You
    Comparative Magecraft
    Topics in Contemporary Architecture: How to Build a Better Mage Tower
    Mundane Relations: Moving Beyond Pitchforks and Torches

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    pyromancy 101: or how to fireproof your beard and wizard hat.

    1001 ways to troll clerics: a crash course in metaphysics.

    physical education: how to avoid effort by casting.

    history: when divination simply doesn't cut it.

    advanced silent casting: duelling in the library. (the librarian is a balor in withdrawal: don't get caught)

    advanced telekinesis: cancelled on account of sexual harrassment suits by unknown people.

    transformation 101: satisfy your inner *shudder* druid.

    strategy 101: how to put the "shield" in "meat shield".
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Alabenson's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Conjuration 102: Safe Summoning (Never without Protection (from Evil))
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

    My Homebrew

    Spoiler: PbP Characters
    Show

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Get hold of "The Principalities of Glantri", which details The Great School of Magic. A school with teachers, maps, details on courses and tuition and gaining experience and graduation, etc.
    Courses include (these are skills/non-weapon proficiencies, which in 3.5 terms these are somewhere between skills and feats and class abilities):

    - Agility Training
    - Conjure Companion
    - learning languages
    - Mandragora (identifying, handling, use)
    - Meditation
    - Quick casting
    - spell combination

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Theoretical Theology
    Applied Theology

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Librarian in the Playground Moderator
     
    LibraryOgre's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Quote Originally Posted by Kami2awa View Post
    Theoretical Theology
    Applied Theology
    Quantum Theology
    Theology for Engineers Wizards
    Last edited by LibraryOgre; 2019-04-27 at 11:22 AM.
    The Cranky Gamer
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude; the appearance of truth within the framework of the game.
    *Picard management tip: Debate honestly. The goal is to arrive at the truth, not at your preconception.
    *Mutant Dawn for Savage Worlds!
    *The One Deck Engine: Gaming on a budget
    Written by Me on DriveThru RPG
    There are almost 400,000 threads on this site. If you need me to address a thread as a moderator, include a link.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Hall View Post
    Quantum Theology
    Theology for Engineers Wizards
    political theology
    economics theology
    biological theology
    neurotheology
    wizardology (or the study of wizards by theologians)
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    political theology
    economics theology
    biological theology
    neurotheology
    wizardology (or the study of wizards by theologians)
    Theology 101: Origin of Magic

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Philosophy 101: remedial course to all those apprentices who don't get why they need to study theology. (Dimwitted student: "I thought this was a school for arcane magic? I wanna be a wizard, not a cleric!")

    Applied Philosophy: Importance of Platonic forms to Conjuration and Transmutation.

    Applied Philosophy: mind-affecting spells and correct understanding of the non-self.

    Applied Philosophy: magical realism and existence of abstract entities.

    Applied Philosophy: logic (or lack thereof) in axiomatic understanding of magic.

    Advanced Mathematics: introduction to Far Realms or how Euclid was very, very wrong.
    "It's the fate of all things under the sky,
    to grow old and wither and die."

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    General Eduction 101: What To Do When You're Low On Spells
    Kinesiology 101: Preparing to Do Might and Magic
    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    And I do agree that the right answer to the magic/mundane problem is to make everyone badass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    If you're of a philosophical bent, the powergamer is a great example of Heidegger's modern technological man, who treats a game's mechanics as a standing reserve of undifferentiated resources that are to be used for his goals.
    My Complete Tome of Battle Maneuver/Stance/Class Overhaul

    Arseplomancy = Fanatic Tarrasque!

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    High Energy Metaphysics

    Magic In Science

    Nonphysical Mechanics

    Practical Hamartiology

    Introduction to Sacred Geometry

    Physical Biology of the Soul

    Elementary Quanta of Matter and Spirit

    Natural and Supernatural History

    Statistical Divination

    Principles of Parapsychology

    Karmic Emission and Absorption According to Moral Theory

    Particle Metaphysics

    EDIT:

    The Science of Magic

    Necronomics

    Edible, Inedible, and Bellicose Fungi

    Archaeology for Looters

    Banks and Politics Along the River Styx

    The Color Theory Out of Space
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2019-05-04 at 04:25 AM.
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

    Omegaupdate Forum

    WoTC Forums Archive + Indexing Projext

    PostImage, a free and sensible alternative to Photobucket

    Temple+ Modding Project for Atari's Temple of Elemental Evil

    Morrus' RPG Forum (EN World v2)

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Bladesinging 202

    And a sign underneath: please ensure Mage Armor, Misty Step, or Shield are prepared before entering. We don't want another eye poked out.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Necromancy 102: Life and Death basics - they meet in a field in the middle of the night. You run laps while Unseen Servants chase you with torches and pitchforks. Everyone drops this class in week two, but the Necromancy department unanimously agrees that it's the most important class in the curriculum.
    I can confirm it is very useful: the day a mob comes at you then you will be prepared.

    Living in lava 101 (you can do that at ECL 1)
    Course in following 50 courses at once 101 (it explains why the end result of goblin wizard studies is the same as the one of elf wizard studies while the latter study for far longer)
    Course in procrastination 101(what elves follows)
    Last edited by noob; 2019-05-04 at 04:44 AM.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Aotrs Commander's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    Alchemy is Not Necromancy: Using the Right Tool for the Right Job

    Lecturer E. Elric.
    Last edited by Aotrs Commander; 2019-05-05 at 12:05 PM.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    LordCdrMilitant's Avatar

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    Default Re: Arcane University Classes

    An arcane university department, let's say Evocation, probably has a curriculum like:
    1st Semester
    MGK100: Introduction to the Arcane [2Cr]
    EVC100: Introduction to Evocation [3Cr]
    EVC101: Introductory Evocation Lab [1Cr]
    THEO125: The Divine and the Arcane [3Cr]
    RHET105: Technical Writing [3Cr]
    MATH231: Calculus II [4Cr]

    2nd Semester
    PHYS211: Physics Mechanics [3Cr]
    MATH241: Calculus III [4Cr]
    CHEM105: Introduction to Chemistry [4Cr]
    HIST101: Histories of the Materiel Planes [3Cr]
    DIV105: Reading Magic Nonmagically [2Cr]

    3rd Semester
    MTPS211: Metaphysics Mechanics [3Cr]
    PHYS212: Electricity and Magnetism [3Cr]
    MATH251: Differential Equations [3Cr]
    CHEM205: Advanced Chemistry [4Cr]
    PHYS213: Thermal Physics [3Cr]

    4th Semester
    EVC300: Thermodynamics [3Cr]
    EVC301: Metaphysical Thermodynamics [3Cr]
    EVC250: Spell Dynamics [3Cr]
    PHYS250: Planar Physics [4Cr]
    HIST250: Histories of the Planes [3Cr]

    5th Semester
    MATH385: Higher-Dimensional Geometric Structures [3Cr]
    EVC350: The Elemental Planes [3Cr]
    EVC320: Cantrip Dynamics [3Cr]
    THEO325: Magic Flow Mechanisms [3Cr]
    ABJ205: Abjuration for Nonmajors [3Cr]

    6th Semester
    EVC325: Basic Evocation Cantrips [4Cr]
    EVC326: Cantrip Lab [1Cr]
    EVC311: Somatic Component Mechanics [3Cr]
    EVC312: Material Component Mechanics [3Cr]
    EVC310: Verbal Component Mechanics [3Cr]

    7th Semester
    EVC442: Senior Thesis [3Cr]
    EVC460: Evocation Lab 1 [2Cr]
    EVC433: 1st Level Evocation [3Cr]
    DIV401: Read Magic [3Cr]
    --TECHNICAL ELECTIVE-- [3Cr] [IE: ENCH402: Sleep, ABJ402: Shield, EVC402: Burning Hands]

    8th Semester
    EVC443: Senior Thesis Continued [3Cr]
    EVC461: Evocation Lab 2 [2Cr]
    --TECHNICAL ELECTIVE-- [3Cr]
    --TECHNICAL ELECTIVE-- [3Cr]
    --TECHNICAL ELECTIVE-- [3Cr]

    Also offered:
    EVC199: Evocation Seminar [2Cr]
    EVC185: Undergraduate Research [2Cr]
    Last edited by LordCdrMilitant; 2019-05-06 at 12:14 AM.
    Guardsmen, hear me! Cadia may lie in ruin, but her proud people do not! For each brother and sister who gave their lives to Him as martyrs, we will reap a vengeance fiftyfold! Cadia may be no more, but will never be forgotten; our foes shall tremble in fear at the name, for their doom shall come from the barrels of Cadian guns, fired by Cadian hands! Forward, for vengeance and retribution, in His name and the names of our fallen comrades!

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