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  1. - Top - End - #391
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I'm glad she woke up! I hope she continues to recover :)

  2. - Top - End - #392
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Sermil View Post
    That is great news! Best wishes for continued recovery!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lissou View Post
    I'm glad she woke up! I hope she continues to recover :)
    Thank you. I like to thank everybody for the support.

  3. - Top - End - #393
    Orc in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    It seems a small thing, I know, but I'm a little less cripplingly depressed. My friend group is at least talking to me again, so that's good. I'm still stuck thinking really mean things about myself.

    I accept that professionally, I am easy to replace, though I feel like I'm pretty easy to replace in my interpersonal relationships too. Going down the list of people I know, most of them fill a particular niche as well or better than me. I guess it's good to know that people I care about will be fine without me, but I'm still stuck wondering what my place is and whether or not anyone would notice if I disappeared.
    I may be a complete stranger but donít think like that. You have self-worth. I know from experience beating yourself up becomes this vicious cycle that makes you miss that life is worth living. What are some things you like? Books? Movies? Things in nature? I find thinking of the most beautiful and inspiring of those things can help you center yourself. Or doing something simple sitting down someplace comfy and drinking a non alcoholic beverage like tea, hot chocolate or a soda. Also you seem to have friends and care for them so thatís a big deal!

  4. - Top - End - #394
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    Thank you. I like to thank everybody for the support.
    Not much to add, but good luck, buddy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Solamnicknight View Post
    I may be a complete stranger but donít think like that. You have self-worth. I know from experience beating yourself up becomes this vicious cycle that makes you miss that life is worth living. What are some things you like? Books? Movies? Things in nature? I find thinking of the most beautiful and inspiring of those things can help you center yourself. Or doing something simple sitting down someplace comfy and drinking a non alcoholic beverage like tea, hot chocolate or a soda. Also you seem to have friends and care for them so thatís a big deal!
    Seeing my own value has always been hard for me. Seeing myself as a friend that can be replaced fairly easily doesn't really help that, but in a way it's sort of comforting. Like I said, if something happens to me, at least the people I care about will be fine.

    Also, I mentioned in this thread that I have trouble accepting love and care when it's shown to me. I don't really understand why anyone would act that way to me. I understand people needing me to do something for them, like help them with chores or someone to vent to. When people don't necessarily need me for anything but want me around because they like me... I just find that confusing. In a weird way, it's sort of a relief that I just misunderstood the situation.
    Iop brain.

  5. - Top - End - #395
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    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    Not much to add, but good luck, buddy.



    Seeing my own value has always been hard for me. Seeing myself as a friend that can be replaced fairly easily doesn't really help that, but in a way it's sort of comforting. Like I said, if something happens to me, at least the people I care about will be fine.

    Also, I mentioned in this thread that I have trouble accepting love and care when it's shown to me. I don't really understand why anyone would act that way to me. I understand people needing me to do something for them, like help them with chores or someone to vent to. When people don't necessarily need me for anything but want me around because they like me... I just find that confusing. In a weird way, it's sort of a relief that I just misunderstood the situation.
    I hope I didnít make you feel worse or anything like that! Glad you are doing better though. I have self-esteem issues that came from bullying and issues when I was in school and I donít think Iíve ever really gotten past them. I have autism and I feel like people use that as an excuse to manipulate or bully me at times. Iíve also had workplace drama along those lines. Itís this disconnect where people think Iím too awkward, stupid, or naive to realize that theyíre playing games with me but the problem is I do realize it and Iíve had multiple instances of people being outright shocked or condescending when I stand up to them, I think they assume that being autistic means that Iím dumb or donít have feelings and itís draining at times.

  6. - Top - End - #396
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Solamnicknight View Post
    I hope I didnít make you feel worse or anything like that! Glad you are doing better though. I have self-esteem issues that came from bullying and issues when I was in school and I donít think Iíve ever really gotten past them. I have autism and I feel like people use that as an excuse to manipulate or bully me at times. Iíve also had workplace drama along those lines. Itís this disconnect where people think Iím too awkward, stupid, or naive to realize that theyíre playing games with me but the problem is I do realize it and Iíve had multiple instances of people being outright shocked or condescending when I stand up to them, I think they assume that being autistic means that Iím dumb or donít have feelings and itís draining at times.
    Many of my friends that I've had over the years, people I've dated even, are autistic or otherwise somewhere on the neurodivergent spectrum. For all I know, I might be too. So I have some understanding of the frustration. I've had people assume that autistic folks don't have feelings, or that they're dumb. Obviously that isn't true. Some people just think and feel differently.

    edit: No, you didn't make me feel worse. Don't worry about it. Truthfully, the issues that I've been talking about are ones that I've been struggling with for years. I'm in a spot where I feel hopeless, but I might learn to be OK with not recovering. I'm actually pretty good at being functionally depressed.
    Last edited by The Fury; 2020-03-29 at 03:10 PM.
    Iop brain.

  7. - Top - End - #397
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Apparently I'm the biggest ******* for being able to play a game well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    One day, we must all have our characters butchered by romhacks face our ends.
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    Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.

  8. - Top - End - #398
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Illven View Post
    Apparently I'm the biggest ******* for being able to play a game well.
    What happened? Are folks upset with you?
    Iop brain.

  9. - Top - End - #399
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I got some terrible news about my friend's mother health. Today I spoke to my friend on the phone today and he told me that her lungs have dropped pretty closer to death. She relapse. I thought things are getting better but it's really not.

  10. - Top - End - #400
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    I got some terrible news about my friend's mother health. Today I spoke to my friend on the phone today and he told me that her lungs have dropped pretty closer to death. She relapse. I thought things are getting better but it's really not.
    There's not much that I can say. Keep being there for each other, take care of each other.
    Iop brain.

  11. - Top - End - #401
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    My cousin's an EMT, so he's on the front lines of this pandemic. He was exposed to the virus at least 3 times in ambulance transit and is now under quarantine for 2 weeks. It's not definitive that he has it, I don't think, but... well, 3 chances to be exposed while inside an ambulance (those things are freaking tiny) with people who had the virus? He probably does.

    He's a hearty guy tho, even if he does have it he'll pull through. Probably.
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    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
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  12. - Top - End - #402
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    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    My cousin's an EMT, so he's on the front lines of this pandemic. He was exposed to the virus at least 3 times in ambulance transit and is now under quarantine for 2 weeks. It's not definitive that he has it, I don't think, but... well, 3 chances to be exposed while inside an ambulance (those things are freaking tiny) with people who had the virus? He probably does.

    He's a hearty guy tho, even if he does have it he'll pull through. Probably.
    If he's under 40 then the deathrate is about 0.2% and if he has no pre-existing medical conditions then it's far less.


    Source: https://www.who.int/docs/default-sou...nal-report.pdf
    http://weekly.chinacdc.cn/en/article...b-fea8db1a8f51
    Last edited by RazorChain; 2020-03-31 at 09:59 PM.
    Optimizing vs Roleplay
    If the worlds greatest optimizer makes a character and hands it to the worlds greatest roleplayer who roleplays the character. What will happen? Will the Universe implode?

    Roleplaying vs Fun
    If roleplaying is no fun then stop doing it. Unless of course you are roleplaying at gunpoint then you should roleplay like your life depended on it.

  13. - Top - End - #403
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Aw man Bart, I'm so sorry to hear that :( I hope things work out.

  14. - Top - End - #404
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    My cousin's an EMT, so he's on the front lines of this pandemic. He was exposed to the virus at least 3 times in ambulance transit and is now under quarantine for 2 weeks. It's not definitive that he has it, I don't think, but... well, 3 chances to be exposed while inside an ambulance (those things are freaking tiny) with people who had the virus? He probably does.

    He's a hearty guy tho, even if he does have it he'll pull through. Probably.
    I mean if he had PPE and the patients didnt directly cough on his face or something this doesnt necessarily mean heíd catch it. Doctors are managing to treat patients and not get it. The fact heís in quarantine may imply there was more contact or a particular incident I suppose though.

  15. - Top - End - #405
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    So, I screwed up again.

    Spoiler: TW: discussion of suicide
    Show
    As I've mentioned earlier, I've been feeling suicidal. I'm much better now, and I have called the National Suicide Prevention line. That said, I feel like the people I'm closest with deserve to know what's been happening with me. So there's a short list of people that I felt I should tell, and most of them handled it fairly good. Then there was my friend that I speak to over video chat regularly... when I told her she started crying. Now to put this into context, normally this friend doesn't cry and is pretty reserved so I didn't think she'd react that way. This was shortly after her cat died, so I can't help but think that the timing was bad and I should have waited. Hindsight is 20/20 and all, but sometimes I'm the literal worst.
    Iop brain.

  16. - Top - End - #406
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    Lizardfolk

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    So, I screwed up again.

    Spoiler: TW: discussion of suicide
    Show
    As I've mentioned earlier, I've been feeling suicidal. I'm much better now, and I have called the National Suicide Prevention line. That said, I feel like the people I'm closest with deserve to know what's been happening with me. So there's a short list of people that I felt I should tell, and most of them handled it fairly good. Then there was my friend that I speak to over video chat regularly... when I told her she started crying. Now to put this into context, normally this friend doesn't cry and is pretty reserved so I didn't think she'd react that way. This was shortly after her cat died, so I can't help but think that the timing was bad and I should have waited. Hindsight is 20/20 and all, but sometimes I'm the literal worst.
    Ennui and depression make it hard to interpret other people's reactions. Your friend had a sympathetic response, telling you how important you are to them. Your depression is causing you to see interpret signs of emotional closeness and as selfishness on your part, what you need to do now is reach out more and reassure them not withdraw to spare them.

    No one is quite sure why depression is so self-protective, but it has a well known mechanism of interpreting things and steering actions towards self-harm and away from getting better.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
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  17. - Top - End - #407
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    Ennui and depression make it hard to interpret other people's reactions. Your friend had a sympathetic response, telling you how important you are to them. Your depression is causing you to see interpret signs of emotional closeness and as selfishness on your part, what you need to do now is reach out more and reassure them not withdraw to spare them.

    No one is quite sure why depression is so self-protective, but it has a well known mechanism of interpreting things and steering actions towards self-harm and away from getting better.
    The other two people I've told had a pretty sympathetic response too. They were both understandably worried and upset. I don't think they cried though, it was over voice chat so I wasn't sure. I guess I was just... shocked? I honestly didn't think my friend would react that way.
    Iop brain.

  18. - Top - End - #408
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Hey everybody. I got terrible and sad news about my friend mother health. Today he called me a few minutes ago that his mother has passed away. I was very devastated to hear the news. I thought that she was getting better but she wasn't. I'm very upset right now.

  19. - Top - End - #409
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    That is so sad, I'm so sorry :( Hugs to you and your friend.

  20. - Top - End - #410
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    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    Hey everybody. I got terrible and sad news about my friend mother health. Today he called me a few minutes ago that his mother has passed away. I was very devastated to hear the news. I thought that she was getting better but she wasn't. I'm very upset right now.
    So sorry to hear that. You have my sympathy.

  21. - Top - End - #411
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Lissou View Post
    That is so sad, I'm so sorry :( Hugs to you and your friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sermil View Post
    So sorry to hear that. You have my sympathy.
    Thank you both. I've been supported by my friend since this troubling times and we've going to go through together.

  22. - Top - End - #412
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    Thank you both. I've been supported by my friend since this troubling times and we've going to go through together.
    The only way you get through this is together, right? Keep being there for one another, it's how we survive.
    Iop brain.

  23. - Top - End - #413
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Times like this I sure wish I felt comfortable confiding in friends. I never was the kinda guy to open up to folks in my life about things that are weighing on me, just never really learned to do it. Being down in the dumps all by my lonesome is kind of a bummer (and the quarantine ain't helping).
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    : THOG NOW SCHR÷DINGER's ORC!
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    If you ever see Hitler riding a T-Rex in your direction - you, my friend, are a very unlucky person.
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    "Ooh. Did you bring a biology textbook with you? No? Sorry, nothing personal." And then I dissect them.

  24. - Top - End - #414
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    Griffon

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade View Post
    Times like this I sure wish I felt comfortable confiding in friends. I never was the kinda guy to open up to folks in my life about things that are weighing on me, just never really learned to do it. Being down in the dumps all by my lonesome is kind of a bummer (and the quarantine ain't helping).
    For me the quaratine is life as usual. Play games, read comics and webserials. There's plenty to do. Chat on message boards like this one if you need people. That song about "people who need people being the luckiest people" really annoyed me, because I was brought up 1/4 mile from almost everyone, and I like people, but I DON'T need the beggars.
    The end of what Son? The story? There is no end. There's just the point where the storytellers stop talking.

  25. - Top - End - #415
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    You got me all wrong. It's not that I don't have people-- I've still been able to see friends, either through Zoom hangouts or one-on-one in person-- or that I have nothing to do with the quarantine (I'm working two jobs remotely and am a full-time student online, my schedule ain't exactly bare). Just that I wish I was more capable of being vulnerable even with trusted friends. Be nice to be able to get stuff off my chest that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    : THOG NOW SCHR÷DINGER's ORC!
    Quote Originally Posted by skim172 View Post
    If you ever see Hitler riding a T-Rex in your direction - you, my friend, are a very unlucky person.
    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    "Ooh. Did you bring a biology textbook with you? No? Sorry, nothing personal." And then I dissect them.

  26. - Top - End - #416
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade View Post
    You got me all wrong. It's not that I don't have people-- I've still been able to see friends, either through Zoom hangouts or one-on-one in person-- or that I have nothing to do with the quarantine (I'm working two jobs remotely and am a full-time student online, my schedule ain't exactly bare). Just that I wish I was more capable of being vulnerable even with trusted friends. Be nice to be able to get stuff off my chest that way.
    Speaking for myself, vulnerability is hard. In truth, I'm actually really bad at it and I feel like I'm a very guarded person. It's only recently that I felt safe opening up to people at all. I'm really only kind of able to be candid and vulnerable partly because of friends being so open and trusting to me about their struggles. Another part of it was the fact that I've wanted that kind of relationship for so long.

    I know what I'm dealing with isn't quite the same as what you are, but I bring it up to show that having that friendship where you can talk things through can take a lot of time. Even when you have a friend who you feel safe around, (and learning to trust someone with your feelings can be big thing too,) it can take time to sort through what you're comfortable sharing and with whom.
    Iop brain.

  27. - Top - End - #417
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    So anyway I would like to thank everybody for all the support. I know this wasn't the easiest time to express my feeling since I always updated on my friend's mother health every day. By at the end, she's no longer in pain. So thanks, everybody. FYI, my friend and his family are hanging in there and I'm supporting them. So again thanks.

  28. - Top - End - #418
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    No worries, it's important to stick together. This could have been anyone's mom. I'm glad you guys are hanging in there and you're right, she's not in pain anymore, that much is good at least :S

  29. - Top - End - #419
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    dehro's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    So... After 5 years together, me causing some pretty harmful things to or relationship, finding out to I can't have children, some more pretty tough times and circumstances, the better part of a year spent in different countries coming down to not seeing one another since before the pandemic exploded in Italy, my girlfriend has called it quits and, after some soul-searching,I find myself agreeing with her. We love one another very much, but the deck is just too stacked against us being happy together.
    I find myself having to come to terms with the idea of being single, of loving someone but having to move on and get over her.
    It's not easy.

    Not looking for anything in particular, just had to get it off my chest
    Last edited by dehro; 2020-04-08 at 06:07 PM.
    All hail Smutmulch for crafting my avatar!
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  30. - Top - End - #420
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    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    So anyway I would like to thank everybody for all the support. I know this wasn't the easiest time to express my feeling since I always updated on my friend's mother health every day. By at the end, she's no longer in pain. So thanks, everybody. FYI, my friend and his family are hanging in there and I'm supporting them. So again thanks.
    I'm very sorry for your loss. I guess in the coming days/weeks/unspecified intervals of time, it's important to take the time to process your grief however you deal with it. I don't know how you deal with it, maybe you're feeling inconsolably sad, and that's OK. Maybe you're feeling relatively fine, and that's OK too. All of you be safe.

    Quote Originally Posted by dehro View Post
    So... After 5 years together, me causing some pretty harmful things to or relationship, finding out to I can't have children, some more pretty tough times and circumstances, the better part of a year spent in different countries coming down to not seeing one another since before the pandemic exploded in Italy, my girlfriend has called it quits and, after some soul-searching,I find myself agreeing with her. We love one another very much, but the deck is just too stacked against us being happy together.
    I find myself having to come to terms with the idea of being single, of loving someone but having to move on and get over her.
    It's not easy.

    Not looking for anything in particular, just had to get it off my chest
    Hey, if you need to get it off your chest that's fine. As long as your feelings aren't eating you up anymore. I might not know entirely how your relationship ended, in fact I know I don't, but I know that breakups hurt. As bad as they might feel, keep in mind that you're still a person capable of love and you still deserve to be loved. It might be too soon to start a relationship with someone new, but that doesn't mean it won't happen in the future.
    Iop brain.

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