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  1. - Top - End - #121
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It's already maxed out.

    Here's a wiffle bat.

  2. - Top - End - #122
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    The wiffle bat summons a wiffle ball whenever swung, which boomerangs back into the user's face dealing 1d3 points of nonlethal damage if it doesn't hit another target (and have you ever tried hitting a target with a wiffle ball?). The wiffle ball vanishes immediately after it hits something.

    This puppy treat of charming will make any canine creature that eats it friendly towards you.
    This is a boring signature.
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  3. - Top - End - #123
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It doubles as an Elixir of Uncontrollable Firebreathing.

    Here’s a potion that completely restores you HP and cures any negative conditions like insanity, fear, disease, etc.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  4. - Top - End - #124
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Land of Dreams
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    And then keeps going, causing what is essentially full body cancer and superintelligence. Your life as a superintelligent blob of flesh has just begun.

    This thin and light laptop is better than a supercomputer!
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meum est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not a humanoid. Come not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

    You may use whatever pronouns you like when referring to me.

  5. - Top - End - #125
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    I hope you have your own nuclear power plant to keep it powered. Thing is a redonkulous power hog.

    Here, have an endless pack of gum.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  6. - Top - End - #126
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Ohhh no, I've seen this one before. It turns you into a giant blueberry, and the only cure is to cast remove curse while simultaneously running you through a juice press.

    Instead, why don't you take these enchanted seeds? They'll grow into an orange tree that bears fruit year-round in any climate.
    Nexusites, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  7. - Top - End - #127
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    Ohhh no, I've seen this one before. It turns you into a giant blueberry, and the only cure is to cast remove curse while simultaneously running you through a juice press.

    Instead, why don't you take these enchanted seeds? They'll grow into an orange tree that bears fruit year-round in any climate.
    Once a year, on the tree's birthday, the tree will summon a Neutral Evil [[Cloud Giant]] with 1d8-1 levels of a random character class (0 is possible), and a hostile demeanor towards the nearest settlement. The giant will attack the settlement for 1d4+1 days, or until the settlement is utterly demolished.

    But take heart! I have here a +4 Flame Burst Giantbane Hand Crossbow that looks suspiciously like a Nerf Gun!
    This is a boring signature.
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  8. - Top - End - #128
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    The crossbow has a Flame Burst effect, not the bolts. Thus, the crossbow bursts into flames whenever you fire it.

    Here, have a pet bunny.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  9. - Top - End - #129
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
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    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    "Those teeth are a bit big, wha..." *Gurgling sounds from severed stump of head.*

    *Scroll of Remove Curse falls out of pocket.*
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  10. - Top - End - #130
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    A cursed scroll of remove curse? That's actually a scroll of irony. Yes, I really do think, Alanis!

    Here is a single sugar cube.

  11. - Top - End - #131
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It keeps trying to ask me out...

    Behold! A belt of weight loss!
    Last edited by Dr.Gunsforhands; 2019-06-27 at 09:20 PM.
    Nexusites, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  12. - Top - End - #132
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Land of Dreams
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    You now weigh nothing. A slight push left and suddenly you've crashed into a house at c.


    This headband grants you all the knowledge of humanity!
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meum est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not a humanoid. Come not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

    You may use whatever pronouns you like when referring to me.

  13. - Top - End - #133
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    All humanity ultimately knows is pain and death. Beauty and joy are transitory but trauma leaves indelible scars and death is eternal. To be born is to be made to suffer and to die is do be no more. This streams from the headband, all the pain and death of man, crowding out any insight or wisdom any one fleeting person might have obtained. Your whole mind echoes with the screams of the tormented and the dead, their pain indelibly and eternally etched upon you.

    Can I get a cup of coffee?
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  14. - Top - End - #134
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Yes, but no matter what you add to it, it doesn't taste the right amount of sweet/creamy/etc (and if you take your coffee black, it just tastes like somebody loaded it up with sugar and cream, even if you can't see any)

    These slippers of comfort are just incredibly comfortable.
    This is a boring signature.
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  15. - Top - End - #135
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    In fact they are entirely too comfortable. Enjoy your 40 year nap, van Winkle.

    Here's an owner's manual for a 1954 Chevy Delray.

  16. - Top - End - #136
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Arizona USA
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    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    ...written in Sanskrit.

    Cheer up. Have yourself a Tablet of Unlimited Knowledge! Press this button here and it automatically loads up, showing all these neat icons that allow you to look up things, call people, write things, and even play games!
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  17. - Top - End - #137
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It's from the dimension 6.387271276 degrees to the weird-right, and you wouldn't believe the roaming charges you're incurring.

    This charging cable automatically transforms to fit whichever device you're trying to charge, and the corresponding charging port.
    This is a boring signature.
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  18. - Top - End - #138
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Sure the cable fits, but not many devices can support charging at 50 trillion volts.

    I have no more use for this fully armed and operational battle station.

  19. - Top - End - #139
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Good grief this battlestation seems designed to explode with even a small explosion in this exhaust port.

    A simple USB drive.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  20. - Top - End - #140
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It's been formatted to look like it can hold 2TB, but after 640KB it just sends your data into the eternal void.

    This paintbrush can make your dreams a reality
    This is a boring signature.
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  21. - Top - End - #141
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Howard, NY
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    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    But not all your dreams. Only the nightmares. Even if you're thinking of a nice dream. Even if you don't pick the brush up.

    This is just an ordinary Ring of Featherfalling. Really. I promise. Trust me.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  22. - Top - End - #142
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Arizona USA
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    The ring falls like a feather. You, however, sink like a stone.

    Here, have this Vest of Floating. Put it on and you will remain upright, above water, without having to maintain buoyancy by moving your arms. In fact, it allows you to move by simply walking normally (although the part below the vest remains below the waterline).
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  23. - Top - End - #143
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Land of Dreams
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It weighs around 100 lbs. Not a problem in the water, but it makes walking on land… challenging.

    This pillow allows you to fall asleep easily, and be well rested when you awaken.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meum est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not a humanoid. Come not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

    You may use whatever pronouns you like when referring to me.

  24. - Top - End - #144
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    5a Violista's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Next to the Mandolinist

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    ...but you're still hungry.

    This pendant is capable of holding an ancient energy and opening strange doors.
    Favorite sports:
    Fencing
    Football (Soccer)
    Figure Skating
    (and basically everything else that starts with 'f')
    ALSO! Come roleplay FFRPG in the Nexus!
    Nexus Characters.

  25. - Top - End - #145
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Howard, NY
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    But, I'm afraid, every time it opens such a door it releases a very, very large amount of said energy, very, very quickly, causing a few thousand degree spike in temperature in its immediate vicinity.

    To you, granddaughter, I give this ancient sword that will imbue you with great skill at arms and heal all your wounds each night.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  26. - Top - End - #146
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Skill indeed at arms, for you can know their size and exact colour at a glance. And by night all wounds are healed, by day all woulds re-open fresh and new.

    This sword belt and scabbard prevents the skin of the wearer from ever being pierced or broken.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  27. - Top - End - #147
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It follows that your eyes, mouth, and ahem, other orifices are now sealed shut.

    I bequeath unto you 14 pounds of cabbage.

  28. - Top - End - #148
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    The cabbage is sentient and, if not given a proper bedtime ritual every night, will turn into a pack of toddlers that will vandalize your living space and deny you sleep. And the ritual must be EXACTLY RIGHT, or else it has to be started again from the beginning.

    I grant you this wand of Arcane Mark.
    This is a boring signature.
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  29. - Top - End - #149
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Have you met Arcane Mark? He's a big old jerk.

    Here, have this lemon tree.
    Last edited by Gravitron5000; 2019-07-10 at 02:33 PM.

  30. - Top - End - #150
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Isn't this a mulberry? Except it seems to be defective... oh, wait, now I get it.

    Behold! A cloak of shadows!
    Nexusites, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

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