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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Land of Fairies and Death

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    All the light that would have been where the cloak is, is now in your eyes.

    This crystal ball allows you to view the past and future with near-perfect accuracy.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not a humanoid. Come not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

  2. - Top - End - #152
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    As soon as you can find the exact bit of past or future you want to see. And as most of the past is quite dull (there is 14 billion years of it, give or take a few), it mostly shows the blackness of outer space.

    Here is a Aston Martin DB9 with all the gadgets James Bond has in his.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  3. - Top - End - #153
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    diremage's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2015

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Gently used! Low Mileage! Ammo sold separately. Damage is purely cosmetic. Excellent project car for someone who already has a full garage. Seller not responsible for pre-existing fire, flood and shrapnel damage. Car for display purposes only. Act now and we'll throw in a free tow to your front lawn as well as four cinder blocks.

    Have a delicious, tasty +5 Trout of Slapping.
    Last edited by diremage; 2019-07-15 at 03:36 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #154
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Wait! This is a halibut!

    Not sure what it does, but they call it "The ancient stone of the master angler."
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  5. - Top - End - #155
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    To become a master angler, you must understand the fish; you must become one with your fishy nature. Enjoy your stat change ... (Int = 1, Wis = 1)

    I have a day old cheese danish for you.

  6. - Top - End - #156
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Howard, NY
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It cries frequently, must be fed every three to four hours, and requires frequent diaper changes. What, you were expecting the newborn child (one day old) of a Copenhagen cheesemaker to be unlike any other baby?

    I lay upon my deathbed, and I wish you to have my most treasured possession, this +4 Defending broadsword with the eternal blessing of our household gods.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  7. - Top - End - #157
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    diremage's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2015

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    It cries frequently, must be fed every three to four hours, and requires frequent diaper changes. What, you were expecting the newborn child (one day old) of a Copenhagen cheesemaker to be unlike any other baby?

    I lay upon my deathbed, and I wish you to have my most treasured possession, this +4 Defending broadsword with the eternal blessing of our household gods.
    ...Who require the sword to be coated in the fresh blood of a different virgin every week, lest they claim your soul.

    This smartwatch's name is Beatrice. I think she likes you. Here, take her.

  8. - Top - End - #158
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Strange...Beatrice, what happened to that text from my wife? And why is there a picture of you photoshopped over her face on every picture of her in my phone, and why....
    YOU AND ME. TOGETHER FOREVER. KORITH AND BEATRICE IS LOVE.

    This Steed of Unnatural Swiftness will take you wherever you need to go, fast!
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  9. - Top - End - #159
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Two words. Inertial dampeners.

    Here, take this bucket full of the last guy to ride that thing.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  10. - Top - End - #160
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Land of Fairies and Death

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    This stew tastes terrible.

    This bow causes anyone shot with it to fall in love with whoever you designate.
    Last edited by Caerulea; 2019-07-15 at 06:31 PM.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not a humanoid. Come not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

  11. - Top - End - #161
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Location, Location

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It also gets Eros ticked at you.

    Here! Have a +5 Mithral Tower Shield!
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  12. - Top - End - #162
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It has a dual meaning! While it is indeed very large and made of lightweight magic metal, it's also bound to Mithral Tower, the headquarters of a famous elvish warlord. At her command, it grabbed my arm and dragged me into position for guard duty.

    Okay, this one has to work! A signet ring that leaves illusory imprints hanging in the air indefinitely!
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  13. - Top - End - #163
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    You forgot a method to turn it off. The air in here is eternally smeared with signet markings. Eternally.

    This ID card say "Access All Areas. Yes We Mean It."
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  14. - Top - End - #164
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    diremage's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2015

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It has a picture of a face on it. The face is not yours, and neither is the name printed on the card.

    It was in a wallet on the ground. The wallet also had a few hundred dollars in cash.

  15. - Top - End - #165
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    It also has an odd property of making whosoever's holding the wallet believe that they're some man named Jonathan Dankworth, that they work for the Department for Transport in London, England, have a wife named Polly, and four children named Agatha, Thomas, Simon and Cynthia, and have a foggy sort of notion that they really ought to be somewhere right about now but can't for the life of them recall exactly where or what they should be doing.

    This 51 foot rope ought to come in handy.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  16. - Top - End - #166
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: You gave me a Cursed WHAT?

    Upon grasping the rope you and it are teleported to the bottom of a 52 foot hole.

    Here is a handful of calmness.

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