"I summon.. A PORPOISE!"

[Runa]

Wacky antics have begun to abound as our new group finally found a way to enjoy playing together (you know how it goes, certain people get invited, others tag along, half the group or so is different from last campaign we played and we switched DMs, etc.).

Our way of playing is apparently "fight a few things and then get really, really goofy. Brownie points if you can achieve this at the same time!"

I think the first hint this was going to be right up our group's alley was when we got captured by goblins. The party - the game is Gestalt, coincidentally - consisted of myself (Bard//Pal of Freedom Drow Elistraee worshiper), A Necro//somethingerother, a Monk//Pal, and a Druid//Barbarian - we also had a couple of rogues, but they didn't show up last week (when this happened), so they had "gotten captured" before us, and we were going to rescue them... anyway. Point is, we're in a jail cell guarded by three goblins, right?

I roll a natural 20 to kick the door open. Because it's a natural 20 (and because the DM wanted to let us escape to explore the place anyway), the DM stated that the cell door flew off the hinges... and killed the goblin standing in front of it. WHich Ok, is kinda funny... but does not hold a candle to the following:

Next up was the Druid//Barb who steps out of the cell and then states:

"Ok, I only have one spell left so... I'm going to summon... A PORPOISE!"

DM: "...wait, WHAT?"

D//B: I have one spell left, and I want to Summon a porpoise. Several feet above that goblin's head.

DM: Oh... OK... *rolls damage*
DM: Um, OK... you... killed the goblin. With your... porpoise. Which then flops around, squealing, on top of the dead goblin.

Naturally, the entire table cracked up.

Wednesday night's game was the most fun though.

After we defeat a small goblin army, the town rewards us with 3,000 gold each and some "coupons to local shops". We've rested up and 'tis time to wander around and buy stuff and such. We do so, and are kind of then just sort of sitting there, polishing off the last of our soda and pizza (we eat really healthy on game nights, could you tell?). Then, recalling that my character is a highly religious Elistraee worshiper, I remember that bit from the Faiths and Pantheons book about how her followers are encouraged to find bards and pay them for their time and stuff. My character, who actually is a Bard, decides she's going to go find another bard (other than Catherine, who's playing a Rogue//Bard, which I forgot about because she almost never used her Bardic abilities before then), and "jam with them". The DM points out that Catherine's free, and a bard, and so she and I start jamming with each other in I guess the village square...

...which led, in one of the most amusing but surreal D&D experiences I've ever had, to the following:


*While Cath and I are singing and I'm playing Mandolin...

*The necro (who I think is also classed with another casting class, but I'm not sure as I don't know the Necro spell list) uses whatever other magic he's got to put basically magical fireworks up behind us.

*The Druid summons another porpoise for 18 seconds.

*Cath then uses her "Unseen Servant" ability to help levitate the porpoise in a graceful spin above the stage.

*Somebody casts light on the porpoise, so now it's a glowing, spinning, levitating live porpoise. Oh, and somebody else casts Light on Cath...

*I, who has at that point not really memorized any Bardic spells, then use one of my Paladin spells, casting Create Water - resulting in a four-gallon splash of water that cascades over the floating, spinning, glowing live porpoise, splashing up causing a dazzling display (and soaking Catherine, who, being that she's a "Dionysus worshiper", well... it was somehow appropriate). Did I mention the Monk makes it Holy Water at this point, resulting in it briefly glowing even more?

*The Druid//Barbarian than goes into a Rage, resulting in an impressive display that ends with him grabbing the glowing porpoise's tail, swinging it in an arc of increasing speed, and then throwing it into the air above the crowd, where it vanishes because the Summon spell is up.

The DM was so amused that he gave us over 1,000 XP each for it. Well hey, we were being creative with our abilitiies...

Recall of course that that that whole incident started with me saying "I want to find another bard to jam with...".

I should probably note at this point that when we started this campaign a few weeks back, when trying to come up with a reason why such an odd bunch of characters was traveling together, we jokingly agreed that we'd be "Traveling carnies".

It failed to be only a joke last night, and I think the concept's sticking (that, and the whole "I summon a porpoise" thing). Though I'm pretty sure my character doesn't call herself a "carny"... although she has a goofy sense of humor, so maybe she does, heh. (The Druid and the other Bard both picked odd names that I struggle to remember something like Selianay and... I dunno what else. So I decided my character would just call them "Silly" - because she is anyway - and "Willy")

Also, I think our next performance will be even more impressive... because having actually looked at the Bardic spell list for my level...

I get Ventriloquism, Animate Rope, Silent Image, Grease, Ghost Sound... you get the idea. Mwahaha! Oh, the possibilities...

-Runa

[Kyeudo]

Awesome! Who says bards arn't fun to play?

[Solo]

Ok, so who wants to break her bubble via RAW?

OK, guess I'll do it.

You cannot summon a creature out of its natural habitat (ie, a porpoise on dry land), nor can you summon a creature in thin air; it must be summoned with a solid surface below it.

So I hear, anyways.

[DraPrime]

I'll never look at a dolphin the same again. Wait, this just gave me a great idea for a weapon. PORPOISE CHUCKS!

[Fax Celestis]

I'll never look at a dolphin the same again. Wait, this just gave me a great idea for a weapon. PORPOISE CHUCKS!

Please god no. My brain. My brain.

[Generic PC]

That is pretty cool, but i might as well raise the point, since if i dont, someone else will. Summon spells Dont work that way. You cant summon anything that cant fly in midair, and you cant summon a water breathing animal into the air, unless it can also breath air. i think porpoise(s? im looking for plural of it) can breath air, but they cant be summoned in midair any way. someone supply the link....

SUMMON SPELLS DONT WORK THAT WAY!!!

Edit: Solo... you damn ninja. Also, Porpoise chucks are bad. Stabbity Death now. Or maybe a hadoken? In any case, someone should now get the Brain acid.

[Dizlag]

Oh my ... the only thing I can think of right now is ...

"So long and thanks for all the fish!"

LOL!

Thanks Runa ... that was awesome!

Dizlag

[Mike_Lemmer]

By RAW, it isn't possible. I say the gods found it funny enough to allow twice.

[Captain van der Decken]

Please god no. My brain. My brain.

Indeed.

You clearly should be using sharks.

[Dizlag]

Sharks with Magic Missile Wands on their heads (ie. "Lasers") ...

"Throw me a frickin' bone here people!"

LOL!

Dizlag

[Starsinger]

By RAW, it isn't possible. I say the gods found it funny enough to allow twice.

Or rather, her DM might have been aware but decided since the point of the game is to have fun, that that rule could be ignored, since by ignoring it the group had more fun. (Like the rule in Monopoly where it says that you don't actually get paid for landing of free parking... seriously, how many people actually listen to that rule?)

[JackMage666]

I'm amazed you know so many people who joined in that.

I would have quielty got up, and left.

[Dr. Weasel]

I'm amazed you know so many people who joined in that.

I would have quielty got up, and left.

Because they're favoring something they find fun over the RAW?

That's... horribly depressing...

[JackMage666]

Because they're favoring something they find fun over the RAW?

That's... horribly depressing...

No, because they found that to be more fun. I don't see any humour in a floating, dying porpoise during a renaissance style concert.

[Starsinger]

No, because they found that to be more fun. I don't see any humour in a floating, dying porpoise during a renaissance style concert.

I don't know if it's humorous so much as amusing. I mean.. you have to imagine, the common folk don't see porpoises that much.. especially glowing porpoises that are levitating on stage.. And it's not dying they did rehydrate it. And it's a summoned creature for crying out loud! The spell ends if it drops below 0 HP, returning it to happy porpoise land. (Atleast that's how Summon Monster works, I'm not sure about SNA)

And more fun than what exactly? Than looking at the rule books and saying "No, you can't." Cuz yeah.. that's always fun..

... ...Is there a smiley for rolling eyes?

[Dr. Weasel]

I don't think a few seconds of floating around is enough to consider an animal dying. Especially in a ridiculous fantasy word where animals are massively more powerful than can usually be justified.

[Jasdoif]

No, because they found that to be more fun. I don't see any humour in a floating, dying porpoise during a renaissance style concert.

The fun part is that the porpoise doesn't actually die, because it's a summoning effect and not a calling effect.

And it's a summoned creature for crying out loud! The spell ends if it drops below 0 HP, returning it to happy porpoise land. (Atleast that's how Summon Monster works, I'm not sure about SNA)

It's the rule for all conjuration (summoning) effects, which includes SNA.

A summoning spell instantly brings a creature or object to a place you designate. When the spell ends or is dispelled, a summoned creature is instantly sent back to where it came from, but a summoned object is not sent back unless the spell description specifically indicates this. A summoned creature also goes away if it is killed or if its hit points drop to 0 or lower. It is not really dead. It takes 24 hours for the creature to reform, during which time it can’t be summoned again.

When the spell that summoned a creature ends and the creature disappears, all the spells it has cast expire. A summoned creature cannot use any innate summoning abilities it may have, and it refuses to cast any spells that would cost it XP, or to use any spell-like abilities that would cost XP if they were spells.

[Dullyanna]

Hey, it's just a game... that sorta focuses on killing lots of things and looting their corpses to make a few bucks.

[SurlySeraph]

I'll never look at a dolphin the same again. Wait, this just gave me a great idea for a weapon. PORPOISE CHUCKS!

YES! *grabs a length of chain, runs off to local aquarium*

So should we attach them together by their tails, so they can bite people? Or do you think they'd want to face each other so they could comiserate about how freaking weird adventurers are?

Please god no. My brain. My brain.

You know you love it. Porpoise-chucks. Think about it. Porpoise. Chucks. For hitting with. *hypnotically waves porpoise-chucks in front of Fax's nose*

[Runa]

Awesome! Who says bards arn't fun to play?

Not our group, that's for sure!

Ok, so who wants to break her bubble via RAW?

OK, guess I'll do it.

You cannot summon a creature out of its natural habitat (ie, a porpoise on dry land), nor can you summon a creature in thin air; it must be summoned with a solid surface below it.

So I hear, anyways.

That is pretty cool, but i might as well raise the point, since if i dont, someone else will. Summon spells Dont work that way. You cant summon anything that cant fly in midair, and you cant summon a water breathing animal into the air, unless it can also breath air. i think porpoise(s? im looking for plural of it) can breath air, but they cant be summoned in midair any way. someone supply the link....

SUMMON SPELLS DONT WORK THAT WAY!!!

Edit: Solo... you damn ninja. Also, Porpoise chucks are bad. Stabbity Death now. Or maybe a hadoken? In any case, someone should now get the Brain acid.

I think (partly because it was way more amusing this way) the House Rule on this is basically, you can summon it outside its natural habitat... but whatever way the non-native habitat would affect it still happens. Hence the porpoise squealing (in panic)... and the falling, due to gravity. (It shouldn't have trouble breathing, though, as they do breathe air, being an aquatic mammal). Being in a dry environment would probably be pretty bad for it, but it's only for 18 seconds, which I don't think would kill it. :P

Our group tends to be pretty House Rule-y, though, at any rate.

Basically Mike_Lemmer and Starsinger summed it up nicely:

By RAW, it isn't possible. I say the gods found it funny enough to allow twice.

her DM might have been aware but decided since the point of the game is to have fun, that that rule could be ignored, since by ignoring it the group had more fun.

Oh my ... the only thing I can think of right now is ...

"So long and thanks for all the fish!"
LOL!

Thanks Runa ... that was awesome!

No prob. I could not resist sharing something like this, heh.

I'm amazed you know so many people who joined in that.

I would have quielty got up, and left.

Just goes to show how diverse the range of people that enjoys D&D is, I suppose - because while many, many people on here for instance tend to focus on battle optimization and dungeon crawls, and still others go for serious plotlines with serious conflicts and lots of dramatic character interaction with heroic exploits (hell, I've done that last one too, and enjoyed it immensely, heh), we've tried both and then getting goofy...

...and the moment we started getting truly goofy Wednesday night, was the FIRST moment in the entire several weeks' time this exact group lineup started getting together that every single player was paying attention, engaged in the story (such as it was), and enjoying themselves even when it wasn't their turn. Seriously. Catherine in particular is known for doing homework at the table, or drawing, or complaining that she's bored, etc., when it's not her turn, and when it is her turn, generally doesn't know what to do with her character.

Instead, she was actually enjoying herself and getting to do something and trying to find fun stuff to do (she even said afterwards that we should do more "social interaction stuff" and performances and stuff, because it's more fun than battle, a sentiment most of us I think actually share). The entire group got in on it and had a blast, seeing what bizarre and silly thing we came up with next and trying to one-up each other on the weirdness/sillyness for a several minutes.

But then, our group is made up of friends who have really strange, goofy senses of humor and gets together 'cause they want to just have fun, and our DM is an easygoing guy that doesn't mind much if the story goes off on a tangent, so long as the PCs are still having fun. (Though, to be fair, this was the end of the adventure anyway)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with various other, more serious ways of playing, of course - but suffice it to say that with our group the "quietly getting up and leaving" is not exactly the kind of reaction you'd get from things getting ridiculously silly.

If you enjoy playing differently, I understand though. A lot of people like games with more structure, or with with pathos and stuff (or which follow RAW, heh). I've even played that way before and enjoyed it - but right now, with our current group, we do it mostly 'cause it's something to do while we hang out, not because we want to create epic, dramatic storylines. And our sense of humor is, again, really goofy.

Whatever works for you works for you, though. :)

Sidenote: It's true that the porpoise would not have been at death's door. Other than us rehydrating its skin (and according to the DM, its skin was apparently slick with water when summoned, so the skin's not actually dried out yet to begin with), it would still have been able to breathe, since it's a mammal and doesn't breathe water. I imagine it would be a confused porpoise, but it wouldn't have been "dying".

-Runa

[Chronos]

Ok, so who wants to break her bubble via RAW?

What happened there was perfectly consistent with RAW, since the Rules As Written include the all-important Rule Zero. In other words, the DM is allowed to do anything or allow anything, if it improves the game, which it clearly did in this case.

And the spell the necromancer cast was presumably either Pyrotechnics (which technically requires a burning fire, but again, Rule Zero) or some sort of illusion, either of which could be on a necromancer's spell list, depending on what schools he barred.

Oh, and I agree wholeheartedly that "creative useage of class abilities" is worth xp, and that this qualifies. I particularly like the barbarian timing his throw so the porpoise would disappear in midair.

[Runa]

What happened there was perfectly consistent with RAW, since the Rules As Written include the all-important Rule Zero. In other words, the DM is allowed to do anything or allow anything, if it improves the game, which it clearly did in this case.

And the spell the necromancer cast was presumably either Pyrotechnics (which technically requires a burning fire, but again, Rule Zero) or some sort of illusion, either of which could be on a necromancer's spell list, depending on what schools he barred.

Pyrotechnics would be it, and I think there was probably fire somewhere. I'm pretty sure it was evening by that point, so. :)

Oh, and I agree wholeheartedly that "creative useage of class abilities" is worth xp, and that this qualifies. I particularly like the barbarian timing his throw so the porpoise would disappear in midair.

I know! That was probably the best part. It was a flashy enough finish that the people there even tossed a few coins up on stage afterwards, and we got extra gold (very small amounts, because the goblin army had ravaged the town recently, repeatedly raiding it, but still).

[Alex12]

Now that's just sweet. That's the sort of story that the commoners of the village would be telling their grandchildren.
"And then the big guy jumped up, grabbed the porpise, and threw it over our heads, where it vanished! That was one group of adventurers that knew how to put on a show."

[Starsinger]

Pyrotechnics would be it, and I think there was probably fire somewhere. I'm pretty sure it was evening by that point, so. :)



I know! That was probably the best part. It was a flashy enough finish that the people there even tossed a few coins up on stage afterwards, and we got extra gold (very small amounts, because the goblin army had ravaged the town recently, repeatedly raiding it, but still).

Your group sounds lovely, Runa :) Also I love your sig.. your boyfriend is right, more dread necros should be altruistic. If there are more zany hijinks after your next session, do share them... I love reading about whacky D&D games.

[Citizen Joe]

Please god no. My brain. My brain.

TDC chucks... that's like 4 attacks per round with crazy grapple checks...

[0oo0]

Can TDC do bonus sonic damage from the dolphin's high pitched cries?

[Fhaolan]

No, because they found that to be more fun. I don't see any humour in a floating, dying porpoise during a renaissance style concert.

How's it dying? A porpoise can stay out of water much longer than 18 seconds without any ill effects. They have been known to beach themselves for a few minutes or so (a little less than ten times the duration of the summoning spell in question), completely voluntarily. They just need moist skin, not water to breathe.

[TheAlmightyOne]

That is the most awesome display of magic I have ever heard of

[daggaz]

Heh... thats hillarious. Seriously, I nominate this thread for quite possibly the most amusingly creative thread I've ever read on this board. I hope you win an internet. Cookies come with the nomination, goes without saying..

Sadly tho, I just knew it would attract a slew of depressing detractors (Thats not RAW!!!, Thats the wrong way to have fun with this game, How dare you abuse an imaginary dolphin that doesnt even get hurt in imaginary land!!, etc, etc, etc...). Seriously people... You lose the internet. Sorry.

[Kyeudo]

Before this amount of awesome, the RAW cannot hope to win.

I agree with Daggaz. People need to calm down about the porpoise and enjoy the laughs.