The Tribe! 3.5 goblin only with GGM (General Goblin Management)

[Jopustopin]

Gibs

When it's time to depart if someone doesn't make decisions, then Gibs makes the decisions!

Gibs approaches Soz and rubs his sweaty gross bald head. He smells his armpits in front of Soz before talking, "Soz purty and best berry finder. You help ruins conquest time?" A moment of silence passes. Then Gibs suddenly looks up at the heavens and grimaces, "No laugh at Gibs!" Gibs stares at the heavens for a second longer, getting more and more angry as time passes, before suddenly flipping out. He grabs a rock and throws it really hard against a tree then rushes at the tree and starts attacking it while shouting, "NO LAUGH AT GIBS!!!"

Diplomacy on Soz: (1d20-2)[18]

Spoiler: Gibs decisions! Not necessarily the best!

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They ride wolves! Gibs makes one of the goblins he's bullying come along and carry supplies! The random goblin's name is Karl. They take the most direct route and only travel at night!

[Morovir]

Krog peers into the cave, watching Hekx breed the spiders, and shivers. Nasty beasties, all legs and fangs. Best keep away. He hurries off, hoping to catch up to those who had indicated their desire to go exploring the ruins, puffing heavily as he goes.

[Kaptin Keen]

Spoiler: The Song of the Wolfriders and the (quite possibly) Cursed Castle

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Your small group set off from the cave, wolves yipping and biting at each other, eager to be off across the land. The moon shines down, bathing the forest in a soft light, making travel easy - as you can see, even outside the range of dark vision. It's a pleasant little trip, the rush of speed mixing with Gibs laughing hysterically at things that aren't there. It's a good night to be a goblin.

For the most part, the trip is uneventful: You travel wild and untamed forest, wisely avoid tangling with bears and the occasional hill giant. You pass a number of interesting landmarks - a cluster of barrow mounds, a large lake (not so large as to be visible from the mountains), very quiet, with a small island. Some sort of lights seem to be going on on the island. You also pass a few stone markers the exact nature of which you cannot fathom, but it just might look like the sort of pretty nonsense wicked elves might leave lying about.

You pass two human farms on the way, and sneak close enough to have a quick - cautious - peek. They look quite robust, built for defence. They are also adorned with holy symbols, and have garlic hung over doors and windows. You shrug, and move on: Humans are weird.

As dawn approaches on the third night, you in turn approach the runis. They perch high on a rocky crag, their pride only somewhat marred by the fact that they're the tumble-down, broken remains of what was even in it's prime only a modest fortification. Ancient gates have long since rusted from their hinges, turrets have crumbled, towers fallen. And yet, two sentries stand stoic guard on either side of the entry. Very quiet, they stand - never moving a muscle, never uttering a sound. The sharpest of eyes among you will ascertain that empty sockets scan for enemies, for the guards are long, long dead.

Spoiler: The Ballad of Spider Lord

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The cave was already quite literally crawling with spiders. One of the annoying details of the Annoying Spider is how quickly they breed, and every surface of the small side chamber Hekx had appropriated for his mad experiment had a creepy-crawly carpet of tiny little red spiders.

Peering around a corner, Krog piped in, cautiously: "Is it wise, though, to breed the Annoying Spiders with the Fiendish Spiders? - we cannot begin to fathom the outcome, Hekx!"

Hekx, cackling maniacally, replied: What could possibly be wiser, Krog? If we already knew the answers, there would be no reason to experiment! Mwahahaaa! For science!

Krog wisely hurried off to join the far less suicidal expedition to the (quite possibly) Cursed Castle, while Hekx quickly located several spider nests, and summoned his Fiendish Spiders, hoping for quick results.

Hekx's Journal, Day 1 of Spider Experiments: I summoned the Fiendish Spiders, and I think preliminary results look promising. I have little to no knowledge of spider mating habits, but the summoned spiders mulled around the spiders nest some - then vanished, when the spell ended. We shall see.

Hekx's Journal, Day 2 of Spider Experiments: Success!!! A number of eggs have grown to prodiguous size - much larger than those unvisited by the Fiendish Spiders. Will monitor closely.

Hekx's Journal, Day 3 of Spider Experiments: Eggs continue to grow. Not worried, haha! It's fine. We shall harvest so much poison from this.

Hekx's Journal, Day 4 of Spider Experiments: Going to the Spider Cave in a few moments. Can't wait to see what progress has made, so I'm writing this as I eat a healthy mushroom and raw fish breakfast. I wonder how long the eggs will gestate before hatching.

Hekx's Journal, Day 4 of Spider Experiments: One egg has hatched. The spider is about the size and temper of an angry orc. It's watching me. Gulp. I shouldn't be writing this down. I should run!

Hekx is in a small side chamber, 12 deep by 8 wide, full of unaggressive tiny spiders, and a single man-sized, hostile spider - a Monstrous/Fiendish crossbreed of unknown providence. You may roll initiative, and come up with any clever plans to solve this small hiccup. One small hiccup for science. One giant burp for one goblin. If you like, feel free to include a couple of Research Assistant 'Volunteers'.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Brave Skimbibble runs away.
Bravely runs away away.

Now danger has reared it's ugly head,
He's bravely turned his tail and fled.

Yes, brave Skimbibble turned about
And gallantly he's chickened out.

Spoiler

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There, now this is officially a DnD session!

[JbeJ275]

Hekx is suddenly regretting every life decision that brought him to this point. With the two “assistants” of his and thier armour, spears and shields he might survived a few seconds without this beautiful creature in front of him ending his life but it was still very much up in the air.

With a gulp, he waves a gesture into the sky, to fight fiends a celestial ally would be appropriate and a creature of underground places is needed. This it’s a celestial badger that appears before him.

He hollers for other goblins to arrive with spears while he runs away.

Initiative:
Goblin 1: (1d20+1)[2]
Goblin 2: (1d20+1)[6]
Hekx: (1d20+1)[21]

[JbeJ275]

The badger lunges towards the massive spider, celestial fire burning in it’s eyes and empowered by arcane and divine magic alike it just rips into the spider.

Claw 1: (1d20+6)[11] for (1d2+1)[3]
Claw 2: (1d20+6)[22] for (1d2+1)[3]
Bite 1: (1d20+1)[14] for (1d3+1)[4]

[Kaptin Keen]

As Hekx mumbles his arcane incantations, summons forces beyond the ken of mortals, and reach into the upper planes to pluck out an ally to ... assist in the pursuit of science and knowledge ... a small radiant rift appears above the Fiendishly Annoying Spider, and out drops a badger, bathed as if form within by golden light. It screeches in incandescent fury, and rips into the spider, hitting with all of it's attacks. It's bite even glows with the brightness of a very tiny sun as it's small, pointy teeth sink deep into the black flesh and ichor of the spider.

It's over before it's even begun, the spider dropping like a sack of potatoes.

Spoiler: In case you were wondering

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The spider is flat footed until it's own initiative, which means all attacks hit. The badger also smites - just because it can - finishing off the kill.

See, no worries =)

Hekx, already halfway out the door, turns back just in time to nonchalantly lean against the wall, adding: And that, good assistants, is how you do that.

[pife]

Plink gazed longingly at the barrow mounds as they passed them, remembering the immortal last words of his great-great-great-great uncle Veerach, who reputedly said, shovel in hand, "Most of the Big Ones are stupid. They likes to leave shinys to keep their deaduns company when they put them under the ground, and we can digs them up!. It's totally safe, there are almost never tra...--yeeurk!!" . Ahh. Nostalgia. Marking their location mentally in his head, he daydreams about coming back for a digging party with several dozen vict.. err, diggers

The island piques his curiosity, but he hates water he can't wade through, so he decides that they would need to build a floaty thing to get there.

Plink looks for writing or markings on the stone markers, trying to determine what they are.

Spoiler: Decipher Script (if any)

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(1d20+3)[11]

He gets both depressed and excited upon seeing the thick walls of the farmhouse. Depressed because they seem to be a tough nut to crack, but excited to see that they hang tasty vegebibbles from their windows, ripe for the taking!

Spoiler: Only if his safety is assured

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Plink will look around for any sign of guards, traps, dogs, or ANY other sign of life or danger. If he sees anything even remotely alarming, he will NOT do the following;
Sneak up to the farmhouse, and take a couple of the garlic cloves (They make things yummier, and smell great!)

Hide (1d20+11)[14]
Move Silently (1d20+11)[26]

Upon seeing the silent sentries at the gates of the ruins, Plink shudders. He truly hates it when things refuse to stay politely dead once killed. They're dangerous, and no good at all to eat, even WITH garlic! Turning to the others, he quietly says This looks worse than bad bad, I've never heard of deaduns that like music, and if we can sneaks by, they might chase us forever. We go around? Or go back? Maybe we gives them a rabbit to chase? Maybe one of yous should ride past fast fast and see if they chases you.

[Kaptin Keen]

Spoiler: Plinks actions

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DC 11 is enough to decipher that the markings on the markers are definitely markings - quite possibly script. You discern no meaning from them, except perhaps that they annoy you with their elegant prettiness.

Sneaking up on the farms, it's clear someone is taking good care to be defensible. There are no guards, though, the houses are ... kinda turtle-y. Kinda like they already know what's out there.

You procure a nice .. whatever they're called, a string of cloves of garlic.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Spoiler: Plinks actions

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DC 11 is enough to decipher that the markings on the markers are definitely markings - quite possibly script. You discern no meaning from them, except perhaps that they annoy you with their elegant prettiness.

Sneaking up on the farms, it's clear someone is taking good care to be defensible. There are no guards, though, the houses are ... kinda turtle-y. Kinda like they already know what's out there.

You procure a nice .. whatever they're called, a string of cloves of garlic.

Sorry, I speak/read elven, are they in elven?

[Stevesciguy]

"AAAAAAAAAAGHAGHHGDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!"

Skog charges toward the sentries, screaming incoherently the whole way. As he approaches, his axe begins to flail wildly in the general direction of the undead guards.

"DIIIIIIIIE!!!!!"

Spoiler: OoC

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Alright, Skog activates his Rage, for +4 Str, +4 Con, and -2 AC.

He's also going to power attack. And it's a charge, so that's another +2 to attack and a -2 to AC.

Attack: (1d20+7)[18]
Confirmation if Crit: (1d20+7)[23]
Damage: (1d10+8)[17]

Let's see how this goes!

[Kaptin Keen]

Sorry, I speak/read elven, are they in elven?

Spoiler: :p

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This should be either spoilored or in the OOC - but ... dammit, I was about to post to this exact effect (in the OOC). It was my destinct hope no one was spoil sport enough to have taken elven.

They are in elven, and describe the Sun Path - which seems to go east/west, though you see zero signs of any such path apart from the markers. They also mention the House of Leaves and Laughter, though the directions are too vague to interpret. Propably. If you can manage a DC 25 check of something relevant, like ... local history or some such, or Lore: Elven Culture ... then they are not too vague.

[pife]

Not expecting that at all, Plink stares, mouth open, at Skog's dash toward the nasties..

Spoiler: Plink's action

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Not sure if we need to roll initiative after Skog's surprising (at least to Plink) attack. But if so, here is mine..

(1d20+2)[9]

Unless something occurs prior to Plink's initiative that would cause him to change his action, he hopes to stay mounted, ready his trusty mandolin, and.. EXTEMPORIZE!

(+1 to hit, +1 to damage for allies who can hear him),

"While riding the wolfies, late into the night,
we found us some spookies who Skog did then fight,

If he makes them deader, it sure would be great,
But Plink has dis feeling that won't be his fate,

Plink trying to help, and so do our team,
Ooh looky at dat, Skogs axe sure do gleam,

We're makin much noise, way more than we should,
If Plink keeps his skin, dat sure would be good,

So he keeps his eyes open and not on skog mostly,
If we comes out of dis, mighty Skog will get boastly"

[Evil DM Mark3]

"Stupid Skog is stupid goblin." Skimbibble stops but keeps his distance, drawing his bow.

[JNAProductions]

Soz, back at the cave camp, walks around the goblin crowd, seeing if anyone needs healing.

[Jopustopin]

Gibs

Gibs, honestly, well he had fallen asleep in his saddle. Dawn was fast approaching and Gibs was in slumber land. When Skog screamed, Gibs was startled awake!

Gibs doesn't know what's going on but he pulls out one of his good throwing clubs and throws it at whatever the thing is! I'm guessing he's 50 feet away! Then Gibs tries to quickly get off his wolf but he trips and falls flat on his back on the ground!

Spoiler: Combat

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Initiative: (1d20+2)[11]
Move: Pull out club
Standard: (1d20-6)[-2] (-10 for range increment) for (1d4+2)[4] points of damage
Free Action: Fall out of his saddle

[Evil DM Mark3]

"Stupid Skog is stupid goblin." Skimbibble stops but keeps his distance, drawing his bow.

I should probably do the rolls for this. Assuming 2 range incraments due to a turn of moving away.

Innit was rolled as 16

Move action:get bow out
Free action:Load
Standard action:Fire [roll]d20+6-4[/roll] Damage (d4-1)[0]

[Evil DM Mark3]

Standard action:Fire [roll]d20+6-4[/roll]

Ahem. (d20+2)[14]

[Kaptin Keen]

With a cry to pierce the heavens themselves, Skog rushes the undead guards with his greataxe, exhibiting incredible fury condensed into a tiny green package. But all the screaming and brandishing over oversized weapons does nothing to impress those bereft of life, glands and blood to freeze. The skeletons calmly level their spears, and calmly thrust af Skog the moment he gets into range.

Spoiler: OOC

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Guard1:
Attack: (1d20+1)[11] vs 13
Damage: (1d6+1)[7]

Guard2:
Attack: (1d20+1)[7] vs 13
Damage: (1d6+1)[7]

In his utter fearlessness and rage, Skog easily pushes the spears levelled against him aside - with his chest - and swings his weapon in a great arch, the terminus of which is death. One of the skeletons explodes in a shower of bone and assorted rubble, bits of torn armor and shattered shield.

Meanwhile, Gibs falls inelegantly from the saddle, and tosses his club into a nearby tree. Skimbibble aims his bow, launches an accurate - but much too weak - shot, which drops from the armor of the other skeleton, leaving no mark.

Plink let's his sqeaky, rusty voice ring out, encouraging his goblin brethren, and by his inspiration the first skeleton guard evaporates slightly more violently under Skog's axe.

As Skog regains his balance after obliterating one skeleton, the other jabs it's spear at him again, failing miserably to connect.

[Kaptin Keen]

Spoiler: OOC - wrong thread ... bah!

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Since the skeletons won initiative, I need to roll another attack roll here.

Attack: (1d20)[2] vs 13
Damage: (1d6+1)[6]

Aaand I thought this was the OOC. I suck =)

[Jopustopin]

Gibs

Gibs scrambles forward into a sprint, his melee instincts taking hold of him. He sprints towards the last standing sentry while pulling out his glaive!

While Skog is shouting, and Plink is singing, Gibs shouts too (but words), "Die Biggens Scum!!!" (Assume Gibs speaks in Goblin unless indicated otherwise)

Spoiler: Round 2

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Move: Stand from Prone
Move: Move 40 ft towards sentries and pull out his throwin' club as part of this action

Does Gibs notice they are undead when he's 10 ft. away?
Spot: (1d20-1)[3]

[Evil DM Mark3]

No like, no like, no like, no like
Skimbibble moves to be nearer the middle of the group and keeps firing.

Move : Move closer
Free action: Reload
Standard action : Fire (d20+2)[22] (increase by 2 if I am only 1 range increment away now. 4 if I am in normal range) Damage (d4-1)[2]

[Kaptin Keen]

Spoiler: Gibs

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Yes. At 3 meters there's basically no mistaking these guys for living people. Empty eyesockets, fleshless arms and legs. They are nothing but bony frames hung with a battered, rusty, broken old suit of chainmail. Even with a 3 result, the positive modifiers are enough.

[pife]

Plink will continue playing, but is keeping alert and trying to peer in all directions to ensure that no reinforcements are coming, ready to shout a warning if he sees something.

Spoiler: Plink isn't particularly observant, but..

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Spot (1d20-1)[3]

[Stevesciguy]

"AHAHAHA!!! DEEEEAD!!!"

Skog stands over the remains of the first guard, before his head snaps to look at the second.

"DIIIIIIIE!!!"

More axe flailing follows.

Spoiler: OoC

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+1 to hit from Plink, -1 to hit from Power Attack
Attack Roll: (1d20+6)[20]
Roll in case of crit: (1d20+6)[25]
Damage: (1d10+9)[10]

[JNAProductions]

Seeing no sign of Hekx, Soz will try to find him, see what he's doing.

[Morovir]

Baulking slightly at the sight of the skeletal guardians, Krog shook his head, let out an ululating scream and struck out with his spear.

Spoiler: OOC:

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Not quite sure what I should be doing, but here goes!

Initiative: (1d20+1)[21]
Standard Move
Attack Roll: (1d20+4)[9]

[JbeJ275]

Seeing no sign of Hekx, Soz will try to find him, see what he's doing.

Ah, good you’re here Soz. Says Hekx, clambering over gigantic spidery eggs.
You know somethings about animals correct? By this point you have probably noticed the giant spider corpse with it’s head ripped apart Because, I was wondering if you could help me calm down some animals that should be getting here soon?

[JNAProductions]

...

You... You're not good at this, are you? she says in what can at best be technically described as a question. Junior, on guard! I'll try to calm them down, but if we have to, we're running. I don't think they'll take kindly to you RIPPING THE HEAD OFF THEIR FRIEND! she adds angrily. Letting out a sigh, she takes a moment to think.

Spoiler: Check

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Knowledge (Nature) for any tips or tricks on dealing with spiders. (1d20+7)[24]

Probably just gonna use Wild Empathy on 'em, but you never know.

[Kaptin Keen]

Spoiler: Spiders

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Spiders aren't really sentimental: Newly hatched spiderlings merrily feast on each other if they're feeling peckish, and ... they are. So any hatchling needs two things: Food, and a safe place to begin spinning it's web and start being all spidery about life, and things.

An ideal solution would be to have some sort of .. food source. And quite possibly a few nooks and crannies where spiders can build their .. nets? Nests?

Oh, and really old spiders grow in various ways, developing a certain level of intelligence, and a language too, Spindler. This is mostly true of the very large versions, that live long lives - sometimes hundreds of years.