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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Nolzur's Wondrous Pig Mints

    Taking one of these tasty pig-shaped mints gives you a range of porcine traits. Gain 1d6 temporary hitpoints, a +2 to saves vs poison and the Scent ability. Unfortunately, it also gives you a piglike snout and ears, for which the DM may apply an appropriate penalty to any Charisma check where he feels this appearance would adversely affect your chances of success. All effects apply for one hour. Normally these come in packets of 12.

    EDIT: Anvil of the Angry Aardvark
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2020-09-06 at 09:57 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Invoking the spirit of a fierce predator of ants, a weapon forged using this anvil has the Vermin Bane property. The weapon need not be enchanted with an enhancement bonus nor even be masterwork. This effect last until the end of the first encounter where this weapon successfully strikes a vermin-type creature.

    Next! Magic Beams!
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  3. - Top - End - #63
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Magic Beams

    These sturdy wooden beams were created by a malicious little trickster deity. Their obvious function is a 1 / day levitation charm that allows easy transportation around construction sites. However, they also have a 1/ week recall ability, allowing easy sabotage of any structure or ship they are used to construct.

    Bronze Bird of Buried Berd, the Bored Bard.

    EDIT: Or, if that's too silly a piece of alliteration, how about "The Black Blade of Bo the Bardman of Drytown"
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2020-09-11 at 01:54 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Howard, NY
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    This item is usable only by bards. The item is a small statue of a nitengale. When you are performing before an audience, if the audience becomes bored the bird will become animated and grow to have a wingspan of six feet. It will proceed to give you a good solid dope slap, and continue to do so once every 60 seconds until the audience is once again engaged.

    Next up: The Middle Finger of Vecna.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Quote Originally Posted by jqavins View Post
    The Middle Finger of Vecna.
    If you cut off your middle finger and replace it with this shrivelled undead digit of a god, you gain a permanent +1 Int and may cast Finger of Death once per day as if you were a 20th level wizard. However, your alignment also takes one step towards Evil and once per week the DM may force you to make a Will save (DC 25) or the finger will cast Mindless Rage (SC) against a target of the DM's choice as if you were a 20th level Wizard.

    Crazy Cutlass of Cruelty
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2020-09-12 at 05:46 AM.

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Feb 2016

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    Crazy Cutlass of Cruelty
    An intelligent item that fancies itself to be a bloodthirsty weapon suitable for an equally bloodthirsty pirate, but which is actually a stage prop and only deals non-lethal damage


    Next:

    Fig of Wondrous Power
    Omegaupdate Forum

    WoTC Forums Archive + Indexing Projext

    PostImage, a free and sensible alternative to Photobucket

    Temple+ Modding Project for Atari's Temple of Elemental Evil

    Morrus' RPG Forum (EN World v2)

    If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. -Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 5, Scene 1

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    jqavins's Avatar

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    Jun 2013
    Location
    Howard, NY
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Fig of Wondrous Power
    The Fig of Wondrous Power was created to encourage, caring and sharing. It is crafted of gold and silver, the two metals fading from one to the other in a pattern reminiscent of a fresh fig, despite being of the wrong colors; small spots on the fig are made from tiny diamonds.

    The fig allows the user to cast any one spell (in addition to any the user may be entitled to due to class levels or any other source) with a maximum lever equal to one half of her character level rounded up, with a minimum of third level. Any level dependent effects of the spell are based on his character level. However, this ability is granted only when when the user generously hands over the fig to another. Thus, to benefit from the item, one must "give a fig".

    Any attempt gain monetary or other value (e.g. giving it in trade, to curry favor, etc.) made by one who knows the Fig's power will destroy the item, leaving only worthless dust.

    NEXT:
    Panel of Seeing at a Distance
    Last edited by jqavins; 2020-10-02 at 06:44 AM.
    -- Joe
    “Shared pain is diminished. Shared joy is increased.”
    -- Spider Roninson

    Always remember that anything posted on the internet is, in a practical if not a legal sense, in the public domain.
    You are completely welcome to use anything I post here, or I wouldn't post it.

  8. - Top - End - #68
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Panel of Seeing at a Distance

    This panel allows you to cast Scrying once per day as if you were a level 10 Wizard. However, if you use it, you are cursed to have pop up adds for distant holiday locations appear in front of your vision at inopportune moments, giving you a -2 to hit, -2 to Spot, -2 to Concentrate and -2 to Reflex saves until you get a Remove Curse spell cast upon you.

    Dwayne Dibbley Dentures

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Funny Magical Items

    Designed by a spiteful Aboleth after centuries sitting in her lair watching reruns of Red Dwarf, this is part of a series of cursed items designed to prey on the insecurities of thieving adventurers, showing them visions of their worst lives with the intent of driving them to suicide. That Aboleth deserves some credit for this design, having considered that humanoid adventurers might lose a lot of teeth in the course of their violent professions, but it remains that PCs are rarely in the market for dentures.

    Next! Goggles of Wrong Future Seeing!
    Last edited by Dr.Gunsforhands; 2020-10-03 at 03:17 PM.
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

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