Having a bad session

[username1]

I just came off of one of my least favorite games of D&D of all time. It feels so crushing because our group usually can only meet once every couple months for a few hours, and to have a session where no one can focus and people check their phones every minute sucks. It’s a small group too, so just one person checking their phone holds the game up. In the four hours we played, I think we got through about half an hour of content. This wasn’t because there was good role play, in fact there was nearly none. Every couple minutes someone would go on a side tangent, and then ten minutes later we get back into the game. This would completely mess with all parts of the game, to the point where I didn’t know what was happening sometimes. What bugs me the most is this group is the best out of any other group I have played with, this is usually the really engaged story focused group. We CAN have good sessions, but sometimes no one can focus. Sessions like this are what gives me DM burnout. It’s happened to me twice before with other groups, where I stop playing or doing anything related to RPGs. And this sucks even more, because this is my main hobby. I spend a ton of time reading the books, painting minis, and prepping sessions. I’ve thought of ways to keep sessions more focused, but in reality none of them work that well. If I’m the only one in the group who wants everyone to put their phones away, it’s really not going to happen. Hopefully next time we play it will be better. Otherwise, I might need to talk to the players, or take another break. 😔😔😔

[Phhase]

Ughhhhh maaaan, that's frustrating just to hear. I'm sorry. For the future, if you aren't doing this already, keep in mind that it's not a crime to say "Hey guys, let's not get distracted, aight?" Long as there's good understanding between you and your players, it's ok to be a little assertive in getting things back on track.

If it's some rules technicality or convoluted what-if askance, just periodically bring the conversation to the matter at hand, i.e. "So, what do you do? You can do that thing, or the other thing, which works the way I told you."

[Faily]

It could also have something to do with the fact that it can go a long time before the group goes back together, since in my experience that tends to increase side-tangents and OOC banter. People tend to want to get caught up in what's going on with eachother, and share about stuff that's happening.

I've found that one of the things that help with keeping things on track is to not bog them down with too many options of "what do you want to do?", since then they can easily spend hours discussing plans and ideas, before even getting to doing the actual thing.

[GrayDeath]

Simplest solution is either of the following:

1.: if possible, massively increase frequency. I know, this is often very hard, but it helps.

if thats impossible however

2.: play LONGER: If you have games of at least 8 hours, ideally with a longer food break, all the "havent seen you in a long time,m lets catch up" stuff will be done and you can play afterwards.


Now 2 of my groups suffered from the same problem for a while, and with effort and a mix of the above, we got all bakc on track enjoying our games. But it DOES take work and will from all participants.

[MarkVIIIMarc]

Here are some things I try to work on.

-Have organized breaks where ppl know its time to smoke, pee, drink, chat and then organized play time.

-Try to let the players catch up before the game.

-Tell folks in a very nice way how much time you spent creating things.
Do it in a positive way with words like: "Oh, I spent 3 hours planning this dungeon for Saturday!" or "yeah, I dorked up last weekend and spent Saturday night painting new mini's for your Conjure Woodland Beings Spell Bob".
Don't say, "ey you dirty turds, I planned this and cleaned my bathroom before inviting you over so you better get on my railroad and enjoy it."

Let me know what works. This is something I struggle with also.

[username1]

Thank you for the feedback!

Simplest solution is either of the following:

1.: if possible, massively increase frequency. I know, this is often very hard, but it helps.

if thats impossible however

2.: play LONGER: If you have games of at least 8 hours, ideally with a longer food break, all the "havent seen you in a long time,m lets catch up" stuff will be done and you can play afterwards.


Now 2 of my groups suffered from the same problem for a while, and with effort and a mix of the above, we got all bakc on track enjoying our games. But it DOES take work and will from all participants.

I have been thinking about trying to do more schedule games, and that could work.

Here are some things I try to work on.

-Have organized breaks where ppl know its time to smoke, pee, drink, chat and then organized play time.

-Try to let the players catch up before the game.

-Tell folks in a very nice way how much time you spent creating things.
Do it in a positive way with words like: "Oh, I spent 3 hours planning this dungeon for Saturday!" or "yeah, I dorked up last weekend and spent Saturday night painting new mini's for your Conjure Woodland Beings Spell Bob".
Don't say, "ey you dirty turds, I planned this and cleaned my bathroom before inviting you over so you better get on my railroad and enjoy it."

Let me know what works. This is something I struggle with also.

Here’s the thing I didn’t mention, most people in the group are around each other a ton. It’s not like we haven’t seen each other for a month, we all saw each other the day before.

On the bright side though, I was talking with one of the players today, and he agreed it sucked and wasn’t that fun. We were talking about having a chat with some of the other players, and come to an agreement on how we could keep the the game more fun for everyone. I will offer these suggestions!

[Drache64]

Just a quick question, did everyone else have fun?

Because it might just be that you need to find a more serious group.

[Knaight]

Generally hanging out for a while pre-game is a good idea; you're going to both hang out and game, you should both hang out and game, and it really works better for both if there's just socialization first.

That said, sessions are going to vary in quality, and if you have enough of them eventually you're going to hit a low after a string of good ones. It sucks when it happens, but the big thing is to get over it quickly; cycles of "the next one has to be really good to make up for the previous one" are all but inevitable if you start on them, so don't do that. It's unfortunate when they happen, and you have my sympathies there, but it's best to try not to let them spread.

[dehro]

3 options on the table, I think
1) play more frequently or longer sessions
2) have an occasional non-game related activity with them and keep the game hours focussed on that.
3) find a better group that has more passion and focus on the game.