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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #541
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a large red lightsabre.

    I insert a bowcaster.

  2. - Top - End - #542
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Jan 2021
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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get an oversized medieval crossbow.

    I insert this video.
    Last edited by georger0171; 2021-02-20 at 09:58 AM. Reason: oh god the url
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  3. - Top - End - #543
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    (the URL gave me a black screen with an error message)

    You get [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF-117 “The Janitors” arrives on scene to terminate you before you can tell anyone else.

    EDIT: Ok, so it was fixed. You get every curse word in the language of the Great Old Ones which drives you completely insane. You start randomly screaming them everywhere which drives those around you insane. MTF-117 “The Janitors” arrives on scene wearing advanced hearing protection and shoots you before you can do any more damage.

    I insert a flock of pigeons.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-02-20 at 10:13 AM.
    LGBTitp

  4. - Top - End - #544
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get Operation Tacana.

    I insert Project Acoustic Kitty.
    Last edited by Cicciograna; 2021-02-20 at 11:53 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #545
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

    Join Date
    Feb 2021

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a great deal of data on the locations of mice, birds, and other things cats eat. And nothing else.

    I insert a crude effigy of a vending machine gnome.

  6. - Top - End - #546
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Jan 2021
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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a note saying "The vending machine goblins thank you for your free source of kindling."

    I insert The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the in-book guide of the same name)
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  7. - Top - End - #547
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You gain the answer to death, strings, and nothing.

    I insert the metaphysical concept of strings.

  8. - Top - End - #548
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a black hole.

    I insert the fossilized remains of a Brontosaurus.
    LGBTitp

  9. - Top - End - #549
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

    Join Date
    Feb 2021

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the un-fossilized remains of a (still quite dead) Brontosaurus.

    I insert my library card.

  10. - Top - End - #550
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bill for a massive amount of late fees. You completely forgot you even checked those books out, too.

    I insert 10 tons of barbecued Brontosaurus steak.
    LGBTitp

  11. - Top - End - #551
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

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    Sep 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a 2TB usb flash drive. It contains a continuous mp3 file consisting of gnome burps.

    I insert a variety of gnome-centric self-help books (How to Gnome and Be Happy; Find Your Perfect Inner Gnome; Gnome Yourself; Eat, Gnome, Sleep, The Productive Gnome).
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  12. - Top - End - #552
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get back the same books ripped to shreds, with what remains defaced with crude images of gnomes with X in their eyes and even nastier stuff.

    I insert the same books, but centered around goblins (How to Goblin and Be Happy; Find Your Perfect Inner Goblin; Goblin Yourself; Eat, Goblin, Sleep, The Productive Goblin).
    Last edited by Cicciograna; 2021-02-26 at 11:31 AM.

  13. - Top - End - #553
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get them back, except they’re all on fire. You also get a note written in Goblin which translates to: “Goblins already know how to have a good time!”

    I insert a dire badger.
    LGBTitp

  14. - Top - End - #554
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

    Join Date
    Feb 2021

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an angry dire badger.

    I insert a cup of coffee.

  15. - Top - End - #555
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

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    Sep 2013
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    Slovakia
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an angry cup of coffee. It tries to eat your face while you drink it. It tastes refreshing.

    I insert a local guide, two pints of lager and a hat rack.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  16. - Top - End - #556
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an angry tour guide who threatens to call security. You also get two angry pints of lager filled with caffeine. And you get an angry hat rack that tips over.

    I insert a chill pill.

  17. - Top - End - #557
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a lukewarm pill.

    I insert a lukewarm pillow.

  18. - Top - End - #558
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a nice regular pillow...

    Sometime later, When you decide to rest with it, you discover it likes eating you.

    I Insert a humane Chest.

  19. - Top - End - #559
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a gobline chest. It eats anything you might be foolish enough to put inside it, hands included.

    I insert a party of goblin-slaying adventurers.

  20. - Top - End - #560
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a village of party-slaying goblins.

    I insert the DM.

  21. - Top - End - #561
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a fiendish dire half-dragon Tarrasque with the ability to summon swarms of bears.

    I insert a pair of nasty dirty smelly sweaty gym socks.
    LGBTitp

  22. - Top - End - #562
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get an angry gym teacher.

    I insert SCP-914, one gear at a time.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  23. - Top - End - #563
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get SCP-682, 1 lump of flesh at a time.

    I insert the fiendish dire half-dragon Tarrasque and weld the machine dispense slot shut so that nothing comes out of it.

  24. - Top - End - #564
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a whole vending machine's worth of molten metal.

    I insert another vending machine.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  25. - Top - End - #565
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a rift in the time-space continuum.

    I insert the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) to find some way to seal the rift.
    LGBTitp

  26. - Top - End - #566
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get the Millenium Falcon being chased by an Exogorth.

    I insert the Large Hadron Collider.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  27. - Top - End - #567
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Once the machine reaches the intended 13 TeV in the center of mass, the vending machine is disintegrated to the quark level. Jets of top quarks streak throughout the area, quickly hadronizing into more stable particles¹. The subsequent radiation shower goes completely uncontained with dire consequences, as even the typically harmless muons have so much energy that they manage to smash atoms and even nuclei in their path. Relativistic effects ensure that the shower propagates for kilometers in all directions. Gamma radiation spawns a host of Hulk-like creatures that add to the general disarray. Neutrinos oscillate like there's no tomorrow, gluons fly everywhere coalescing into glue-balls, pentaquark hadrons set shop among us because screw metastability. You discover a new exotic particle, a lepton that doesn't fit the current Standard Model that you decide to name goblino: contrarily to regular leptons, it mysteriously couples to the Strong force and carries a new quantum number that you dub "G" as in "greenness". Quarks and gluons are not amused.
    No supersymmetric particles, though, sorry.

    I insert into nothing the blueprints for a new vending machine and hire a squad of goblins to put it together and man blin it.

    ¹Just remembered that the top quarks don't hadronize, they decay too fast.
    Last edited by Cicciograna; 2021-03-05 at 08:58 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #568
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a vending machine, now with two slots. Upon closer inspection, there's a note taped to the vending machine. when you read it, it says: "Hello, new user of the vending machine! This new and improved vending machine supports putting in two objects at once through the different slots. The goblins will combine them and give you something new. Or you can just put one thing in, and the vending machine will work as normal, before the reality-altering event that happened when someone put the LHC in the vending machine.

    I test the vending machine's new capabilities by inserting:
    Slot 1: The entirety of the Order of the Stick books.
    Slot 2: The entirety of xkcd.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  29. - Top - End - #569
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ziproot's Avatar

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    Mar 2021
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    In my room

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Black hat destroys the last gate and you get a picture of the snarl.

    I insert whiteout to erase the picture.

  30. - Top - End - #570
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get white paint.

    I insert SCP-008.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

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