Vending Machine

[Cicciograna]

You get a note. It reads: "Dear georger0171: we thank you for all the drug stuff you have inserted as of recently. Just so you know, we are not that much into drugs, but thanks anyway. Signed: the vending machine goblins."

I insert a double density floppy disk.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

The machine makes a grinding sound and then spits it back out. The case is cracked, the sliding cover dealie is bent and the whole thing smells like swamp water. Apparently it was the Pathfinder goblins' shift today.

I insert a rabies vaccine.

[Cicciograna]

You get a COVID vaccine. It's effective at 95.1%.

I insert a virgin cassette tape.

[georger0171]

You get a tape that consists of nothing but the name "Chad" repeated in varying tones and inflections. As far as you can tell, the tape seems to never end.

I insert a binder full of sensory cognitohazards.

[Cicciograna]

You get a [REDACTED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

MTF Eta-10 "See No Evil" was dispatched to retrieve the specimen. Approval from O5 Command necessary for further details.

I insert a sudo apt get update.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a rescheduled appointment for a judo class.

i insret a poifdst about a vebsiong mavbjone.

[georger0171]

oyu get a dicctonary flied with mispled wodrs.

I insert a copy of Deltarune.

[Cicciograna]

You get a copy of Cyberpunk 2077.

I insert a copy of No Man's Sky.

[lacco36]

You get a copy of Yes, Lady Earth!, an extremely obscure anime dating sim, in which you represent Pluto, a single (not-really-)planet, while trying to seduce Earth and try to get it out of its harem, lead by her abusive boyfriend Moon. You have to beat, trick or even seduce some of the other planets and moons.

I insert random set of spare parts I got with my Ikea furniture and a manual to construct Objects in Space physical controller.

[totadileplayz]

You receive spare parts to a time machine.

I insert a broken time machine.

[georger0171]

You get a broken space machine.

I insert a USB stick with this video on it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6BqNhDit4

[Cicciograna]

The machine sends you an email with a link to this page.

I insert a USB stick with this video on it.

[georger0171]

You get a bag with an uncountable number of ball bearings in it. All anyone can discern is that there seems to be "Over 9000!" bearings in it.

I insert the Library of Congress.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get the library of Kongress. It's full of bananas.

I insert a photo album of 19th-century chimney sweeps.

[Pex]

You get a photo of Richard Van Dyke and Julie Andrews.

I insert a spoonful of sugar.

[georger0171]

You get a USB drive with a home movie of some 11-year-olds performing Mary Poppins.

I insert SCP-096.

[Dire Moose]

You get a picture of it’s face.

I insert the finely-shredded remains of georger0171.

[georger0171]

You get a USB drive with this playlist on it.

I insert an Amulet of Attracting Angry Swarms of Bees.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a pot of rage honey!

I insert a tray of pecans.

[georger0171]

You get a box of dried pecans and a bottle of pecan oil.

I insert The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

[lacco36]

You get a small package with a title "10K Dehydrated Monkeys, Just Add Water", an invoice for 10 000 typewriters and suspiciously elaborate stopwatch.

I insert a semi-literate gorilla with a superiority complex and nasty rash on its buttocks.

[Cicciograna]

You get an orange toupee.

I insert the 1986th to 4322th digits of pi.

[Korith]

You get the 69420th to 80085th last digits of Graham's Number.

I insert a calculator with a big red self destruct button added to it into the vending machine.

[georger0171]

You get a 3 megaton yield nuke.

I insert a Gundam.

[Cicciograna]

You get an EVA.

I insert an Adam's apple.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a flesh kazoo.

I insert a subpoena.

[lacco36]

You get served a salisbury steak.

I insert the Harry Potter books 1-5.

[georger0171]

You get a pile of used and broken wands.

I insert a Vending Goblin.

[Cicciograna]

You get a miniature model of the Vending Machine. It appears to be functional.

I insert a division by zero.

[georger0171]

You get a miniature, self-contained black hole.

I insert a box of rolling papers.