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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #271
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get beer cheese sauce without any container to hold it in.

    I insert soft pretzels.

    Spoiler: Edit
    Show
    Now I'm hungry.
    Last edited by Odentin; 2020-09-25 at 08:56 AM.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  2. - Top - End - #272
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a frozen cola.

    I insert a gallon of olive oil.
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  3. - Top - End - #273
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a statue of Athena.

    I insert a bottle of retsina

  4. - Top - End - #274
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a miniature replica of the Parthenon.

    I insert an unlucky broken mirror.

  5. - Top - End - #275
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a high velocity horseshoe wrapped in four leaf clover and tied to a rabbit's foot. So high velocity, in fact, that you break a leg.

    I insert a crutch.

  6. - Top - End - #276
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a small, gnome-sized cast with a bunch of signatures on it.

    I insert a duffel bag full of cocaine.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  7. - Top - End - #277
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The vending machine spends the next 13 minutes churning out red DANGER tape. It then belches out a huge gout of black smoke. A small note floats into your hand:
    Spoiler: note
    Show
    Please don't insert that stuff again. It's bad for morale.


    I insert a painting of a pink-tinted lotus.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  8. - Top - End - #278
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a ticket to the opening nocturn of an art gallery for that artist.

    I insert a full set of scuba equipment.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  9. - Top - End - #279
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a speargun and a shark's head trophy.

    I insert a hunting rifle.

  10. - Top - End - #280
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Pex's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2013

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a plastic cork with a string attached.

    I insert the Encyclopedia Britannica.
    Quote Originally Posted by OgresAreCute View Post
    "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition, where the DCs are made up and the rules don't matter."

  11. - Top - End - #281
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an Aardvark.

    I insert a Seaking helicopter.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  12. - Top - End - #282
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a fish-type pokemon flying through the air with propeller fins.

    I insert a housefly.

  13. - Top - End - #283
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Out plops a pebble-sized house with small mechanical wings that allow it to hover.

    I insert the crossword from a newspaper.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  14. - Top - End - #284
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the answer key to a completely different crossword puzzle.

    I insert a key for a warded lock that I do not own.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  15. - Top - End - #285
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a completely different warded lock without a key.

    I insert a set of lockpicks

  16. - Top - End - #286
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a set of opened locks, covered in tool markings.

    I insert a miniature giant space hamster.
    Last edited by The Outsider; 2020-10-08 at 01:32 PM. Reason: Wrong order.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  17. - Top - End - #287
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a hollow tree stump.

    I insert the drawing of a Chuul.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  18. - Top - End - #288
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a copy of its latest album, “Chuul Kidz on da Block.”

    I insert a Deck of Many Things.
    LGBTitp

  19. - Top - End - #289
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive an "Idiot" card and lose 1d4+1 Int. It reads "Idiot! This deck is a death trap."

    I insert a ballot box

  20. - Top - End - #290
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a series of forms documenting that the vending machine is now an official polling place.

    I insert a horned helmet!
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  21. - Top - End - #291
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I insert a horned helmet!
    You get a hornet from Hell name Mitt.

    I insert a vending machine into the vending machine.

  22. - Top - End - #292
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a vending machine from the vending machine, which is in turn stocked with nothing but vending machines.

    I insert a bucket of steam.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  23. - Top - End - #293
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bucket of ice

    I insert a bucket of dry ice

  24. - Top - End - #294
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a fog machine.

    i insert a case of Monster Energy Drink.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  25. - Top - End - #295
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Pex's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2013

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the Kool-Aid Man busting through the wall.

    I insert a narwhal
    Quote Originally Posted by OgresAreCute View Post
    "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition, where the DCs are made up and the rules don't matter."

  26. - Top - End - #296
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a rhinoceros in a swimming pool.

    I insert a pound of bricks.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  27. - Top - End - #297
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get 4 brick walls. (Good luck getting out).

    I insert a doorknob.

  28. - Top - End - #298
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The vending machine opens, letting us walk in.

    I walk in and insert myself.

  29. - Top - End - #299
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You are charged with inappropriate insertion and receive a subpoena.

    I insert my 2020 US Election ballot.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  30. - Top - End - #300
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a small, life-like doll of your candidate of choice. Strangely, it has thirteen pins sticking into it.

    I insert a dried fish.

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