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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #331
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a pile of plunger shrapnel.

    I insert a foil.
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  2. - Top - End - #332
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Out tumble three dolls with medieval-style clothing. They each have a tag, labeling them as "Laertes", "Ophelia" and "Fortinbras".


    I insert the notes for a long-since completed RP session.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  3. - Top - End - #333
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an old character sheet for a gnomish artificer.

    I insert a bag of dice.

  4. - Top - End - #334
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kerching's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a Vegas slot machine.

    I insert Elon Musk.

  5. - Top - End - #335
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get EpicLloyd dressed as Elon Musk (from the Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg Epic Rap Battle)

    I insert Mark Zuckerberg.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  6. - Top - End - #336
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a 50 Tb data file of a lot of people's personal data.

    I insert a katana.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  7. - Top - End - #337
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a piece of original fiction about a gnome who dual-wields katanas and is the best fighter ever. It's alarmingly bad.

    I insert the blueprints for a gnome-powered vending machine.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  8. - Top - End - #338
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a vending machine that appears to be your normal, everyday soda vending machine.

    I insert a Spotify playlist.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  9. - Top - End - #339
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a dusty old phonograph cylinder.

    I insert a ukelele.

  10. - Top - End - #340
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a signed copy of Israel Kamakawiwoʻole's greatest hits.

    I insert my crutches.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  11. - Top - End - #341
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a cast signed by a large group of gnomes.

    I insert a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  12. - Top - End - #342
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a ton of prosthetic legs with silly random socks.


    I insert one fluffy albino squirrel stuffy-doll.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  13. - Top - End - #343
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bunch of very energetic live squirrels that tear all over your house and destroy all your stuff.

    I insert a Gelatinous Cube.
    LGBTitp

  14. - Top - End - #344
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a box of holiday gelatin molds. Much more interesting than cubes!

    I insert a series of Star Trek coffee mugs.
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  15. - Top - End - #345
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a miniature version of James Kirk who moves and acts like he's had way too much caffeine.

    I insert a set of loaded dice.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  16. - Top - End - #346
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a loaded slot machine.

    I insert the Kobold Mafia into the vending machine.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  17. - Top - End - #347
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Out tumbles a Young Black Dragon who claims she is the Donna of this mafia and demands you show her respect.

    I'll inert a painting of happy trees made by a pleasant, kindly veteran.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Nezumi

    more

  18. - Top - End - #348
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a painting of raging barbarians made by an evil murderous Treant.

    I insert Cthulhu.
    LGBTitp

  19. - Top - End - #349
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Unearthly noises and light emanate from the machine as it bucks and jumps and rocks. For nearly an hour, you wonder if the thing might legitimately tear itself apart. And then the noise and commotion stops.

    You receive the [Scepter of the False Prophet] and a bento filled with sushi that is simultaneously the most delicious thing you've ever tasted and makes you want to retch with every bite.

    I insert my old World of Warcraft account.
    Last edited by Odentin; 2020-12-01 at 09:56 AM.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  20. - Top - End - #350
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive an Overwatch account with ~65% of the limited event skins, poses, etc. unlocked.

    I insert Stone Cold Steve Austin.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  21. - Top - End - #351
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a set of wrestler's Spandex in your size, a cape and a luchador mask.

    I insert a dementor

  22. - Top - End - #352
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive the soulless husk of a gnome.

    I insert said husk.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  23. - Top - End - #353
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a gnomish golem. A gnolem?

    I insert my dad.
    LGBTitp

  24. - Top - End - #354
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get your step dad. Which is your dad, but turned into stone after having been posed as a decorative staircase.

    I insert an Alex Trebek bobblehead into the vending machine.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  25. - Top - End - #355
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a Sean Connery toy with a pull string, that says bawdy insults when the string is pulled.

    I insert the complete works of Alan Moore.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  26. - Top - End - #356
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Quote Originally Posted by Velaryon View Post
    I insert the complete works of Alan Moore.
    A giant squid monster, a Guy Fawkes mask, and an unconscious Allan Quatermain come out.

    I insert the best and worst issues of Spider-Man.

  27. - Top - End - #357
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    A giant squid monster, a Guy Fawkes mask, and an unconscious Allan Quatermain come out.

    I insert the best and worst issues of Spider-Man.
    You get a sexy picture of Steve Ditko, autographed.

    I insert a sexy picture of Stan Lee, NOT autographed.

  28. - Top - End - #358
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a vintage Spider-Man comic, autographed

    I insert the world’s most venomous spider.
    LGBTitp

  29. - Top - End - #359
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You hear screaming and gnomish curses from inside the machine, followed by loud banging and what sounds like a flamethrower. A minute later, a small pile of ash is deposited outside the machine, along with a note that simply reads

    I insert my d24.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  30. - Top - End - #360
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    I insert my d24.
    Gary Gygax's reanimated corpse comes out and yells at you not to use a die with that many sides.

    I insert a VHS copy of Mystery Men.

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