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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #421
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    In my head

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a model city with a working train.

    I insert a shrink gun that only works on the person trying to fire it

  2. - Top - End - #422
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the screams of gnomes, a bang and flash of light, a sudden tug towards the machine and a black toy gun with miniature stars and 'Super Self-Singularity Generator 9000' written on it.

    I insert the kitchen sink.

  3. - Top - End - #423
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a big stack of dirty dishes.

    I insert my cat.
    LGBTitp

  4. - Top - End - #424
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the cat, plus a man and woman who want your 'Pokémon', whatever they are. And than they do their motto...

    I insert said three into the machine by strapping rockets to them and blasting them off again!

  5. - Top - End - #425
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The machine spews out a coyote with a rocket tied on its back. On the side of the rocket you manage to make up the word A.C.M.E.

    You insert a quarter.

  6. - Top - End - #426
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a pixelized gorilla throwing barrels down at you, a three-quarters yellow circle that's trying to eat you and a two-dimensional spaceship shooting lasers at you.

    I insert a bag of quarters, three high score lists and a note that says 'bring it'.
    Last edited by +5 Vorpal Bunny; 2021-01-02 at 11:12 AM.

  7. - Top - End - #427
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a signed copy of Ready Player One.

    I insert said copy of Ready Player One.

  8. - Top - End - #428
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a VR headset and a free original version copy of Sword Art Online.

    I insert a copy of Inception, which is inside another copy of Inception, which is inside another copy of Inception...

  9. - Top - End - #429
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an Escher painting.

    I insert a Penrose triangle.

  10. - Top - End - #430
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an iPad with a copy of Monument Valley on it.

    I insert a dissertation proving that the concept of time is an illusion.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  11. - Top - End - #431
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You've had the gnomes' chicken puppet for two weeks and inserting this payment closes the time loop.

    I insert a capsule from a gatcha machine.
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  12. - Top - End - #432
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a collection of little capsules that piece together to form a toy mecha.

    I insert said mecha, an action figure and a disk full of cheesy yet inspiring super robot music.

  13. - Top - End - #433
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an anime revolving around the love stories of bunch of Rule 63'd and 34'd teen mechas dressed as high school students.

    I insert the last hair ripped from the head of a balding man.

  14. - Top - End - #434
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise.

    I insert Florida Man.
    LGBTitp

  15. - Top - End - #435
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a vast collection of videos involving a sadistic god and Florida Man wreaking havoc in increasingly creative ways.

    I insert a miniature model of an exploding Earth.

  16. - Top - End - #436
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    In my head

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a down to earth Supermodel

    I insert an Ipod playing "The Merry-go-Round Broke Down" on loop

  17. - Top - End - #437
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a set of used gnome-sized earplugs and an iPod that seems to have been hammered flat.

    I insert a toaster.

  18. - Top - End - #438
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get champagne in a flute.

    I insert a calendar from 1987.

  19. - Top - End - #439
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a GI Joe and Russian Spetznaz action figure holding guns at each other, waiting for the other to shoot first. Did I mention they're frozen?

    I insert said heavy-handed Cold War metaphor into the machine, along with a model nuke.

  20. - Top - End - #440
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a preachy documentary on the evils of war from the position that there's no way any war can ever possibly be justified. It's 80 hours long and has a lot of pictures of flowers in it, too. And it smells faintly of smoke.

    I insert +5 Vorpal Bunny into the vending machine along with a note saying "Free bunny, loves tummy scritches"
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  21. - Top - End - #441
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a decapitated bunny with the head stitched on his belly, and your note that now reads "Free bunny, loves [tummy scritches[/s] head scratches".

    I insert a +5 vorpal sword with a brass bunny head as its pommel.

  22. - Top - End - #442
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Book Wombat's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Germany

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a brass statue of a rabbit which is missing its head.

    I insert said statue, a metal saw and some superglue.
    Rule Number One: Do not steal cookies.
    Avatar by linkele!

    Discord: Bookwhyrm#4020, feel free to DM.

    Book Wombat's Extended Signature

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    -. --- - / -- ..- -.-. .... / .... . .-. .

  23. - Top - End - #443
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a brass golem with buzzsaws for hands. It’s rather hostile.

    I insert a loaf of bread.
    LGBTitp

  24. - Top - End - #444
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a sandwich.

    I insert a slice of pizza.

  25. - Top - End - #445
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a barrel containing 57,000 miniature packages of ice cream in 320 different flavors. I suggest avoiding the "earwax" one.

    I insert Claude Monet's Woman with a Parasol into the vending machine (the original painting, of course)
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  26. - Top - End - #446
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive the original author's manuscript for Mary Poppins.

    I insert an overdue library book.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  27. - Top - End - #447
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get... a freshly checked out library book.

    I insert an Encarta encyclopedia disk from 1995.
    Nexusites, Angred, Dorothy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  28. - Top - End - #448
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a WikiReader with the Wikipedia as it was in 2010.

    I insert Volume 4 of the Encyclopedia Britannica of 1871, from which I ripped away page 119.

  29. - Top - End - #449
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a very angry-looking British librarian in a corset and white face paint, who promptly throws a cup of tea in your face before taking the book back.

    I insert stone tablets containing the Ten Commandants.

  30. - Top - End - #450
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a golden chest that melts your face off when you try to open it.

    I insert a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
    LGBTitp

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