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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #451
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an audiotape of Han Solo screaming in agony.

    I insert a model of Jar Jar Binks, a red lightsaber and a note that says 'Jar Jar is the key to all this'.

  2. - Top - End - #452
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a novelty lockpick set in which all the tool handles have been stylized to look like various body parts of Jar Jar Binks.

    I insert the RedLetterMedia guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  3. - Top - End - #453
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a Q (that's a large, blue, letter Q)



    I insert a plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu and a bottle of 2005 Pinot Grigio, along with a note saying "Thank you vending machine gnomes for all your hard work over all these years."
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  4. - Top - End - #454
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a clean plate and an empty bottle, along with a message. The plate is cracked and the bottle is broken, and the note says "There are no gnomes here. However, the GOBLINS working hard in the vending machine thank you for your gift".

    I insert five dice sets, and the D&D 5th edition Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master Guide, Monster Manual, Xanathar's Guide to Everything and Volo's Guide to Monsters, along with a note reading "To the vending machine goblins: keep up the hard work, but in your breaks have some fun with this game. Please disregard whatever misconception the creators of the game have about your race, we don't really know enough."

  5. - Top - End - #455
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Location, Location

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get... nothing. It seems the gnomes are busy with something.

    I insert a half-drunken dwarf.
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  6. - Top - End - #456
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
    Location
    Right behind you
    Gender
    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bewildered, even more drunk, now beardless dwarf.

    I insert the entirety of the Internet.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  7. - Top - End - #457
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a kitty!

    I insert [REDACTED].

  8. - Top - End - #458
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive [DATA EXPUNGED].

    I insert a miniature giant space hamster.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  9. - Top - End - #459
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a pair of badly damaged eye bulbs.

    I insert a 0.20€ coin.

  10. - Top - End - #460
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
    Location
    Right behind you
    Gender
    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get SCP-173, who promptly snaps your neck.

    I insert a bong.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  11. - Top - End - #461
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2021

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get hit in the noggin by a bell shooting out of the vending machine, which promptly makes the exact same bong noise as what you put in.

    I insert a box of potions of cure light wounds.

  12. - Top - End - #462
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a hooded lantern of Inflict Light Wounds. It illuminates a 120' cone, but at the end of each turn, creatures within the cone suffer the effects of an Inflict Light Wounds spell (Save DC 13)

    I insert a ghost pepper enchanted with speak with dead into the vending machine. (Putting the pepper into the mouth of a dead creature creates the effects of a speak with dead spell, but the creature's breath smells both dead and as though it had just eaten the pepper, and the creature's soul can taste just how friggin' spicy this pepper is.)
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  13. - Top - End - #463
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
    Location
    Right behind you
    Gender
    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a capsaicin elemental.

    I insert a crack pipe.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  14. - Top - End - #464
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a tobacco pipe. A Missouri Meerschaum Diplomat straight, to be precise.

    I insert an ounce of Lane Limited 1-Q.

  15. - Top - End - #465
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bag of crystal meth.

    I insert a live alligator.
    LGBTitp

  16. - Top - End - #466
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
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    Right behind you
    Gender
    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get some snakeskin boots.

    I insert a live weed plant, along with a note that says "To the vending machine goblins- Here's another reward for your hard work. Cultivate it and smoke it."
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  17. - Top - End - #467
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a wand of Stinking Cloud and a note saying "Thanks, this increased spell potency by, like, +4 or something. Also, send snacks!"

    I insert snacks into the vending machine.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  18. - Top - End - #468
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a cute lil' vid of goblins eating your snacks to this song.

    I insert, like, some acid dude.
    (the fun kind, not the face-melty kind)
    Last edited by +5 Vorpal Bunny; 2021-01-15 at 05:24 PM.

  19. - Top - End - #469
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get sprayed in the face with a canister of acid (not the fun kind).

    I insert a steam locomotive.
    LGBTitp

  20. - Top - End - #470
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a piece of paper with an input code for a free train game on Steam.

    I insert a Steam gift card.

  21. - Top - End - #471
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kerching's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Todd Howard comes out of the machine. He is a bit confused.

    I insert an Avatar reference.
    Last edited by Kerching; 2021-01-15 at 09:06 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #472
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bunch of cabbages. You can faintly hear crying out 'MY CABBAGES!'

    I insert a bottle of cactus juice.

  23. - Top - End - #473
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bottle of tequila. It tastes weird, though.

    I insert a bottle of cognac.

  24. - Top - End - #474
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a classy Canadian in a tuxedo. A "Canadian Tuxedo," naturally.

    I insert Hoth.
    Last edited by Odentin; 2021-01-16 at 03:45 PM.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  25. - Top - End - #475
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get Tatooine.

    I insert Trantor.

  26. - Top - End - #476
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive Ernest P. Worrell.

    I insert Pauly Shore.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  27. - Top - End - #477
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
    Location
    Right behind you
    Gender
    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get Robert Downey Jr.

    I insert a USSR flag.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  28. - Top - End - #478
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a Gobbotopia flag.

    I insert a kobold wearing an Iron Man Mark II suit.

  29. - Top - End - #479
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get Pun-Pun wielding the Infinity Gauntlet.

    I insert this model railroad I built when I was in college.
    LGBTitp

  30. - Top - End - #480
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2021
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    Male

    Post Re: Vending Machine

    You get a model of the Earth at 1/100000 scale

    I insert a cocaine straw.
    Last edited by georger0171; 2021-01-18 at 09:27 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele




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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

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