Vending Machine

[Samba Mentality]

You get 16 sandwiches with an ambiguous *cough cough* lunch meat in the middles.

I insert my sister.

[SunderedWorldDM]

She gets stuck underneath a black leather couch just as a pizza guy comes to fix the plumbing.

I insert a wooden octagon.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a hexagonal wooden soda bottle.

I insert a whole thing of candy beans.

[Forevaxp]

You get a giant jellybean beanstalk

I insert a set of Tinker’s tools

[EricAlvin]

You get the components of a deconstructed vending machine.


I insert a globe.

[Samba Mentality]

You get a complete list of all modern nations’ names, capitals, and past and president leaders, sub-leaders, members of government, policies, and maps. It all amounts to a very hefty stack of paper which takes 4d4 hours for the vending machine to expel.

I insert a Starbucks breakfast sandwich.

[Asmotherion]

You get a complete list of all modern nations’ names, capitals, and past and president leaders, sub-leaders, members of government, policies, and maps. It all amounts to a very hefty stack of paper which takes 4d4 hours for the vending machine to expel.

I insert a Starbucks breakfast sandwich.

You get a rose beef and potato chips.

I insert a fine rolled Cigar.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a bag of cane sugar.

I insert an uncursed VHS tape.

[Samba Mentality]

You receive an... ambiguous VHS tape.

I insert a pair of sunglasses with “I AM THE LEADER” painted across the front.

[inuyasha]

You get a blue plastic crown and a pair of Scuba goggles

I insert my flash drive full of D&D notes, NPCs, adventures, etc.

[tazbot]

You get a message: "Error. Please remove and re-insert floppy disk."

I insert Captain America's shield and a piece of kryptonite.

[Laughing Dog]

You get a batarang.

I insert a cat, a bat, a bird, and an elderly british assassin-turned-butler.

[cheshirewolff]

You get a really good young adult novel called "Catsassins." The cat is the main character, and the butler is his mentor.

I insert a sourdough starter.

[Samba Mentality]

You get a sourdough ender, a tool for those who hate sourdough.

I insert a piece of collectively painted street art.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a picture of a street painted on the side of a Borg cube.

I insert a truckload of empty milk jugs.

[SunderedWorldDM]

You get a music box that plays "99 bottles of milk on the wall" on loop forever. The music will outlast you, and everything you love. I hope you're happy.

I insert a (d5+d7)/(d13).

[Odentin]

You get an annoyed statistician.

I insert precisely 17 qbits.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a complex calculation that's way off because they don't know how to get quantum computers to do error handling properly.

I insert a tank of solid nitrogen. You heard me.

[Samba Mentality]

You get some severed, frozen-solid gnome fingers.

I insert a Lamborghini Countach.

[farothel]

You get Jeremy Clarkson.

I insert Captain America.

[Lacco]

You get a thank-you letter and cake from the gnomesses.

I insert a walrus sandwich (a slightly confused walrus with two pieces of bread stuck to his sides).

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get a small donut folded into a mustache.

I insert a plushie sheep!

[Dire Moose]

You get a woolly hat.

I insert a woolly mammoth.

[farothel]

You get a woolly hat, sweater, pants, coat, mittens and cape, all size XXXL.

I insert a syringe.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get tetanus.

I insert bacon.

[Forevaxp]

You get a toaster with untoasted bagels inside of it.

I insert a set of plain pink Chessex dice

[bug_sniper]

You get a checkerboard sex toy in mint condition.

I insert the previous poster.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You get me!

I insert a foil Charizard.

[Samba Mentality]

You get a real Charizard, and are promptly incinerated.

I insert a bowl of Grape Nuts.

[Dire Moose]

You get a propeller beanie as a prize for finally sending in enough UPCs. It still won’t let you fly though, regardless of what you told your stuffed tiger.

I insert a copy of Super Mario Kart.