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Thread: Vending Machine

  1. - Top - End - #211
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    5a Violista's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Next to the Mandolinist

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a snorkel.

    I insert vampire blood in a styrofoam cup
    Favorite sports:
    Fencing
    Football (Soccer)
    Figure Skating
    (and basically everything else that starts with 'f')
    ALSO! Come roleplay FFRPG in the Nexus!
    Nexus Characters.

  2. - Top - End - #212
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
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    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The machine buzzes and whirs for nearly a minute; it's long enough for you wonder if it would actually work or if the cursed blood of a pseudo-demon has broken it. At the end of your wait, a jewel CD case for Nocturne plops down out of the vending machine.

    I insert a spare copy I have of the graphic novel series SAGA, Volume 1.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Shinomen | OOC

    more

  3. - Top - End - #213
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Nothing comes out for some time. After some time, an envelope full of various banknotes and a handwritten note "Volume 2, plz?" come out.

    I insert a regular garden gnome. And irregular garden gnome. And a recursive garden gnome, just to be sure.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Currently recruiting for Brűtâl Racing, postapocalyptic semi-comedic cannonball run across the Europe in worst cars you can imagine. Sign up and get ready to burn.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  4. - Top - End - #214
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Boss battle music starts playing, and you are now facing the Ultimate Garden Gnome.

    I insert my cat.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2020-08-16 at 10:35 AM.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  5. - Top - End - #215
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get Ironsmith's cat.

    I insert water that is not wet, for some reason.

  6. - Top - End - #216
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    May 2020
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a bucket of dry ice

    I insert the blood and sweat I poured into beating Zelda BotW

  7. - Top - End - #217
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Out tumbles a small glass vial. It has Hiragana and Kanji characters, and below it is a small label in English. It reads "Tears and sweat of game developers for this game."

    I insert a small monitor for an old DELL computer.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Shinomen | OOC

    more

  8. - Top - End - #218
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive the next generation of chromebook.

    I insert my desk fan.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  9. - Top - End - #219
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a confused gnome in white T-shirt that says "#1 Fan of Odentin's Desk!". He holds a miniature model of your desk, on which stands something resembling a miniature gnome holding something rather small...

    I insert a half of cucumber, pack of 10 years old ravioli and toothpaste (children's, strawberry-flavoured).
    Last edited by lacco36; 2020-08-20 at 12:04 PM.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Currently recruiting for Brűtâl Racing, postapocalyptic semi-comedic cannonball run across the Europe in worst cars you can imagine. Sign up and get ready to burn.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  10. - Top - End - #220
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Perched in a tree
    Gender
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    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Out pops a McDonald's Hamburger. It is warm, and it has a little tag that declares its age to be 52 years old "but still delicious!"

    I insert an authenticator app.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Shinomen | OOC

    more

  11. - Top - End - #221
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You realize you were actually a robot the entire time.

    I insert a severed head.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  12. - Top - End - #222
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get an autopsy report.

    I insert a toy car.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  13. - Top - End - #223
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a toy for your real car to play with.

    I insert a bucket of dead batteries.
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  14. - Top - End - #224
    Troll in the Playground
     
    ~Corvus~'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Perched in a tree
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The Vending Machine returns a bucket of sand from the Chilean Desert.

    I insert several wrinkled office forms and slips of paper.
    GreedLing avatar by Ceika
    DM of Rokugan ItS | Shinomen | OOC

    more

  15. - Top - End - #225
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a stiff, upright office worker.

    I insert a set of studio headphones and microphone.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  16. - Top - End - #226
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a live stream where someone unboxes them and pretends to appreciate it.

    I insert a binder full of childhood doodles of cats.
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  17. - Top - End - #227
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a binder full of actual cats. They aren’t very happy and they hiss at you as they claw your face off.

    I insert a Blue Whale.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  18. - Top - End - #228
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a lifetime supply of soap.

    I insert two pieces of orichalcum.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Currently recruiting for Brűtâl Racing, postapocalyptic semi-comedic cannonball run across the Europe in worst cars you can imagine. Sign up and get ready to burn.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  19. - Top - End - #229
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a daiklave.

    I insert a yellow jersey from the tour de france.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  20. - Top - End - #230
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a failed blood test.

    I insert a kilo of plastic explosives.
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  21. - Top - End - #231
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive an injection-molded plastic building toy, and some silly putty.

    I insert a shark plushie.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  22. - Top - End - #232
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a live Great White Shark. Nom nom nom.

    I insert my car.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  23. - Top - End - #233
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Two weeks later, you get back the same car with a few thousand miles more on the clock and some photographs of gnomes on a road trip. The gas tank is full and it's been cleaned and serviced; however there's also a contraption attached to help them work the pedals.

    I insert my bicycle.

  24. - Top - End - #234
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get back the Yellow jersey from the Tour de France.

    I re-insert the yellow jersey.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  25. - Top - End - #235
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get the same failed blood test again. The exact same one. Don't worry about the paradox of having 2 too much.

    I insert a Tesla battery bank.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

  26. - Top - End - #236
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a big box of poor-quality mass-produced versions of it, labeled “Edison Battery Bank.”

    I insert a heavy metal album
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  27. - Top - End - #237
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You get a "Best Disney Songs" compilation cd back. When played, however, it turns out to actually be a Black Sabbath album that's been mislabelled. The children's hospital you donated it to were unamused.

    I insert a DVD of "snow white".
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2020-09-03 at 12:25 PM.

  28. - Top - End - #238
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    The gnomes give you a detailed essay about the problematic history of stout metahumans in media.

    I insert a notarized request for a dog.
    Ajax, Nexusites, Shun.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  29. - Top - End - #239
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    The gnomes give you a detailed essay about the problematic history of stout metahumans in media.

    I insert a notarized request for a dog.
    You get six packs of "Dehydrated Dog Formula", marked "Clone 1" to "Clone 6". The packages state they come from somewhere called "Alpha Complex, R&D Department".

    I insert a my collection of spare parts from Ikea furniture in a large box.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Currently recruiting for Brűtâl Racing, postapocalyptic semi-comedic cannonball run across the Europe in worst cars you can imagine. Sign up and get ready to burn.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

  30. - Top - End - #240
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Odentin's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Vending Machine

    You receive a LEGO kit for a life-sized IKEA store, complete with functional showroom.

    I insert a dreamcatcher.
    -Odentin

    Quote Originally Posted by Skype
    Odentin: Wait. Weren't we going to stop off in the capital and murder the emperor?
    Bladecutter: We might as well, it's on the way.
    GM: "We might was well" has never been used in that way!
    Bladecutter: Well, we really don't like him...

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